Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker doesn’t understand anything I say

I have been on my team a few months. My only colleague, Ernest, has been in the role 15 years so he is clearly able to do his job well enough. However, I often feel like we are having two different conversations because it doesn’t seem like he’s understood anything I’m saying. It’s not a language barrier, it’s more like I have no idea what wavelength he’s on but it’s not mine.

If he and I have a meeting, it will go like this. Our manager is Dorothy. Her manager is Betsy.

Me: Should we get on to writing that report about the new knitting process?
Ernest: I don’t see why Betsy wanted that. Our knitting process is better than it’s ever been.
Me: … yes … I’m glad you think so…but Dorothy wanted us to write a quick report just to check how it went and if there is anything about it we want to change, so we can feed that back to Betsy.
Ernest: I’ve looked at the crochet program and we’ve had some great feedback on that.
Me: That’s great … we’re not talking about the crochet program though. We’re talking about the knitting program. How did you want to divide work on that report?
Ernest: I’ve told Betsy our knitting program is better than it’s ever been.
Me: Good. That’s great. But we still need to objectively LOOK at it and do the report. I thought we could start by reviewing the knitting production figures.
(After a few minutes of talking about these figures, I ask him what he thinks.)
Ernest: We’ve had some great feedback on the crochet program.
Me: No, we’re talking about the knitting figures. I haven’t mentioned the crochet figures at all. I mean the knitting figures, on screen right now.
Ernest: I’ve told Betsy that the knitting program is the best it’s ever been.

After 35 minutes of circling, it becomes apparent that Ernest isn’t going to do the report with me. We’ve been over it 20 times and I’m still not even sure he understood the question, so I just ask him to give me a few days to do it myself.

This is not just a me issue. I’ve been in meetings where I’ve seen Dorothy and Betsy ask him a question, get an answer on a completely different topic than the one we’ve all been discussing for 15 minutes, and look bewildered. It’s resulted in me taking more of the lead when I have to work with him because I can’t trust that he’s even thinking about the same topic as me. It’s almost like he’s reached capacity — he knows the areas he works on and if you approach anything new, his brain just short-circuits. How do I approach this without looking like I’m treating him like an idiot and taking over all the tasks?

Oh my goodness, talk to your boss. Tell her you’re having a lot of trouble communicating with Ernest and ask for her advice. She’ll probably know what you’re talking about since he does it to her too, but if she doesn’t, you could ask if she’d be willing to sit in on a few of your meetings with Ernest to get a better understanding of the challenges you’re running into in. You can frame it as, “When we sit down to divide work on a project like X or Y, I have trouble getting him to respond to what I’m saying or move forward on the work. Would you be able to join us for a couple of these meetings in the next few weeks? I’m hoping if you observe, you might be able to point out if there’s something different I could be trying.”

Also … don’t assume that just because Ernest has been there 15 years, he must be doing his job well. Given what you’ve seen, it’s quite possible he hasn’t been managed effectively in that time (which means that appealing to your boss for help may or may not move things forward … but if nothing else, it’s likely to get you more information about what you’re really dealing with).

2. How to politely say, “I’ll respond when I can”

I’ve joined an organization as an editor, and I have a full inbox at all times. I am a one-man team, and often I have to put responding to non-urgent emails at the bottom of my to-do list, which leads to some long response times. I’m in a field where it’s not unusual to take a week or so to receive a response to a submission or for edits on a piece. However, newer submitters sometimes aren’t aware of this, and they’ll follow up a day or two after their email, sometimes multiple times before I can get to their email. Generally, this is a mild annoyance that doesn’t affect my workflow. Still, I am tired of “apologizing for a delay” or “thank you for your patience” for something that isn’t an actual delay, just an extended timeline that is normal in our field.

How can I say politely, “FYI — it’s normal for it to take up to 10 days for a response, so no need to follow up until then. Chill.” I deal with a lot of emerging writers, and I want to treat them with care while also setting up my own professional boundaries and teaching them norms.

Can you set expectations earlier in the process? For example, when you’re first assigning a piece, you could say, “Once you submit it, expect to hear back within 10 days”? Or, when you receive the piece, you could send a quick acknowledgement that says, “Received! I’ll have feedback to you within the next two weeks.” You could even set that up as a form reply in your email or auto-text so you can send it with just a few clicks rather than having to type it out every time.

Another option is an auto-reply that lists your expected turnaround times for various types of inquiries (“if you’re a writer submitting a piece, I’ll respond with 10 days”) but you can probably avoid that by setting up some quick form replies in your email program.

3. Can someone work from abroad without telling their employer?

My company is very flexible and allows full-time remote workers in most of the U.S. Because I am a rule follower, I make sure to discuss with my manager and HR if I am ever going to need to work from a remote location. My understanding is that I can work from anywhere in the U.S. for less than 30 days without issue; I am just expected to adhere mostly to New York hours as our headquarters are based there. If I were to relocate for more than 30 days, then I would need to update my address and make sure the company is licensed to do business in that state.

Where it gets tricky is working internationally. My company has offices in London and Singapore but will not allow anyone to work from there unless the company explicitly sends them there on business. I have asked if they would ever offer the option for people to work remotely from other countries (on their own dimes) and they said that the legal and tax implications are too complicated for the HR team to handle right now. I totally understand that and accepted it. So imagine my surprise when I get on a video call and find that one of my colleagues is calling in from … Peru! From my understanding, this is not okay and I was really bothered by it, but maybe I am missing something? I should also note that we have unlimited PTO so if my colleague really wanted to go there they could have just taken time off. Are employees obligated to tell their employer where they are going to be working from if they can work remotely? And are there any consequences for employees who bend the rules should their employers find out?

You don’t really know the situation with your coworker! They might have been in Peru on business, or might have received permission to work from there (despite your company not wanting to authorize it more generally). Or they might have been on vacation and were asked to call in just for this one call. Or yes, they might have done it without checking first. (If so, that’s between them and your company and I’m curious why you’re so bothered by it. Is it because you’d like to do the same and were told you couldn’t? That’s legitimate. But if it’s just because you’re a rule follower … well, it’ll be better for your quality of life if you accept not everyone is, and that doesn’t need to be your problem unless it directly affects you or you’re their manager or otherwise in a position where your job is to enforce the rules they’re breaking.)

But generally speaking, yes, there can be tax and legal consequences to allowing employees to work from another country (including needing to follow the labor laws of the country where the work is taking place). A single work call from abroad usually won’t trigger those consequences. Realistically, a full week of working from there probably won’t either. But companies generally want to make that call themselves, not leave it up to the individual judgment of each employee, and they can indeed require employees to seek permission to work from other locations (and impose whatever consequences they want for people who don’t).

4. Giving notice in a travel-heavy job

I work in a job where I travel about 75% of the time, and my schedule is set roughly one to two months ahead of time. I plan to quit the job soon because I’m just not happy in the position. I am job searching, but I’m unsure of how I should navigate the resignation process. If I get another job, do I have to set my start date to after the time when I’ve completed all my scheduled work travel? Can I give two weeks notice and cancel the trips that I already have planned? Should I give my boss a head’s up that I intend to quit in the next few months and I shouldn’t get scheduled to travel beyond that? None of these options seem great to me. If I get a new job and say I can’t start for one to two months, is that generally acceptable to companies? If I give two weeks notice and cancel trips, there’s no one who can cover these trips (this is part of the reason I’m quitting). Telling my boss I intend to quit seems risky for obvious reasons. Any advice you have for this situation would be very much appreciated!

Give the normal two weeks notice. You don’t need to wait until all your scheduled travel is done. (Think about how that would work in jobs that are scheduling travel a year out!) Your company will cancel the travel that you won’t be there to do; some of it will probably be refundable, but if some of it isn’t (or even if all of it isn’t), that’s just a normal part of doing business. You’re still only expected to give the same amount of notice as someone in a non-traveling job.

5. How to say “I’m really good at my retail job” on a resume

I’m attempting to update my resume and struggling with how to describe my current retail job while conveying how good I am at it. My manager has repeatedly said that I’m the best employee they have, customers occasionally comment on how well I do my job, I never get complaints, and I’m extremely accurate at anything to do with numbers to the extent that I’ve been told “the paperwork [that my boss does] is always easiest after your shifts.” Our store doesn’t do any sort of “Employee of the Month” awards and I don’t have any stats I could use to quantify my work, so I’m having trouble coming up with how to talk about it that’s not entirely reliant on word-of-mouth feedback. I doubt I can put something like “’You’re always so professional’ – A Customer” on my resume and without the things other people have told me I don’t think I come off as particularly impressive.

Another factor in my resume troubles is I want to switch fields to something completely different so I feel getting across “excellent employee” might be more useful than “excellent at the tasks of a retail job.” Especially since I want to move to a more professional field and I am aware being a cashier doesn’t exactly have the reputation of being skilled labor. This job is by far my longest stretch of employment and is likely the most load-bearing component of my resume, which is why I feel it’s so vital to depict it in the absolute best way possible.

You can cite the feedback you’re getting! I’d do it like this:

* Repeatedly lauded by manager as the team’s most effective employee, due to X, Y, and Z
* Regularly receive accolades from customers for A and B
* Cited for extreme precision with numbers and producing the most consistently accurate XYZ paperwork on a six-person team

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Is it wrong to remind coworkers to vote?

I’m taking the temperature on something that happened in a meeting last week. It was a virtual meeting with about 25 people. It is our custom, as people are logging in, to have chit chat. One of my coworkers said she wanted to take the opportunity to remind everybody that the mid-term elections are on Tuesday and provided a very common website link if anybody needs it to register to vote.

Another team member told her this was inappropriate at work, and she said she wasn’t asking people if they voted or who they voted for, just giving a reminder. The team member responded that he has voted in elections longer than she has been alive and doesn’t need her help. The person leading the meeting intervened and said, “Thank you for the information and let’s get into the agenda.”

This weekend my spouse and I were talking about this and we think the person running the meeting handled it well, but was it right or wrong to say this before the meeting?

In normal times, I would have thought nothing of it. Your coworker’s statement was non-partisan and pro-voting, not advocacy for a particular candidate or issue.

In current times, the atmosphere is so wildly poisonous around politics that it’s not surprising that it quickly turned heated. But the coworker who complained is the one who was out of line.

P.S. Please vote today.

2. Closing my eyes at work

I work in a grey cubicle in a grey building with no windows, no natural light, almost no human interaction, and the constant white noise of the air system. As a result, my supervisor has seen me close my eyes at my desk a few times and had sent me an email about it. I’m staring at a computer screen for eight hours, my eyes get tired! And I’m not actually sleeping! I just close my eyes for a minute or two, then I get back to work. How do I approach this? It seems so normal and human to me?

It’s normal and human to need to rest your eyes for a minute … but it’s also normal and human that if you walk by someone who’s at their computer with their eyes closed, it will look like they’re asleep.

Can you switch things up a little to avoid that impression? For example, can you turn so your back is to your door when you close your eyes, so it’s not as easily observable? Or is there another type of break you can substitute, like standing up and stretching, walking the long way around to the printer, or grabbing a beverage?

Again, it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong by resting your eyes for a minute. But it’s going to look a certain way to anyone who happens to pass by right when you’re doing it, so it’s smarter to head off that impression.

3. Our letter terminating an employee never reaches her

We had a new employee, Robin, who after six weeks abandoned her job. After three consecutive missed shifts (which stretched over a weekend, so it took a full calendar week) and no response to our phone messages, texts, and emails, based on our procedure we decided that she had voluntarily resigned and was no longer employed due to job abandonment. There was no PTO banked to pay out and due to how payroll dates fell, she had received her last paycheck in the middle of the week of missing shifts.

As part of the process, we mailed her a letter summarizing the situation and officially declaring that we had designated her as no longer employed due to job abandonment. The letter was mailed with tracking via the U.S. Postal Service. After five days of watching the tracking, it was clear that the letter was lost in transit. It never made it to its destination.

When mailing the letter, I had remarked that the closest post office to our work (Post Office A) seemed very disorganized, and another member of administration stated that she never went to that post office, always the next closest one (Post Office B). Post Office B happens to be the one that serves the area where ghosting employee lives. So one week after the first letter was mailed, I went to to Post Office B to mail a second copy of the letter (now noting that it was being re-sent on X date due to post office delay).

Once again, the tracking indicates that after three days, the letter disappeared into the abyss. It has now been 21 days since last contact with Robin and 11 days since we changed Robin’s status in our system. Robin’s former manager doesn’t want to post the new job until we know Robin has gotten the letter. I have called the USPS customer hotline. I have personally visited Post Office B again to ask them what we can do (answer: nothing).

So I mailed the letter a third time, this time via UPS. The letter now contains a notice that this is the third time it has been mailed due to mail delivery delay. I have been assured by UPS that the letter will be delivered tomorrow.

Did we have other options? If the two lost letters end up finally making their way through the system, Robin will receive this letter about abandoning the job three times, and I don’t want her to think that’s due to unprofessionalism on our end. Was there a better way to handle this, or is this just one of those series of unfortunate events?

Just bad luck. It made sense to switch delivery services after the first two attempts failed, which you did, and you included a note explaining the situation so if she does eventually receive the first two letters, she’ll have context to understand why.

If you hadn’t included that explanatory note, I would worry that it would look like you were inexplicably firing her over and over (and by multiple delivery methods!) but that note should put you at ease.

(I assume you’ve checked on her welfare in some way, such as through an emergency contact?)

4. Outplacement company is giving me bad advice

Like so many folks lately, I was laid off along with the rest of the team I was on. Part of my package included sessions with an outplacement group. So far the recommendations have been incredibly basic (look up companies in your area) or seeming out of touch with how things are done these days (try emailing recruiters and ask if they have jobs). What I would like to know is: is this normal? Would it be appropriate to call the outplacement company and ask for a different person or is the issue just their process? I’m certainly experienced enough that my resume and job search skills are very decent, but there’s no way that they are absolutely perfect. Even with plenty of time on my hands, I’m tempted to tell the outplacement company that I’ll call them if I need their support.

Yeah, a lot of outplacement groups are really bad. I’m skeptical that asking for a different contact will change that — they often have all their reps work from the same curriculum — although it won’t hurt to try and, if nothing else, it’s useful feedback for them to hear. What might be more helpful is telling your old employer that the service (which they are paying for!) has been subpar. They might not care terribly — providing outplacement services is often more a PR move than anything else — but who knows, they might.

5. Ghosted by my volunteer job

I’ve been a volunteer for an international nonprofit on a part-time basis for 2.5 years. One of our supervisors will be on medical leave for a few months and I was asked to interview to take over a few of their duties on a paid part-time basis. I interviewed a week ago.

I am actually am not very interested in doing the job (due to other circumstances) but they had told me that they wanted the successful candidate (only three of us were interviewed) to start in a week and I’ve heard nothing from them since the interview, so wondered if I should reach out to the HR people about this. HR was not part of the interview but was cc’d on email correspondence that set it up.

My disappointment at being ghosted like this has affected my enthusiasm for a main part of my job and I am pretty sure I’m going to step back from it. Do you think I should ask HR about why I was ghosted? I don’t want them to think it’s sour grapes if I didn’t get the job, but want to register my unhappiness at being treated like this.

It’s way too early to conclude you’re being ghosted! A week is nothing in hiring, and that’s true even though they told you they wanted the person to start in a week. It’s really common for interviewers to say that (and mean it) and then miss that timeline significantly, often by weeks. Give it another two weeks before you conclude anything.

If it does become apparent at some point that they ghosted you, then it would definitely be reasonable to tell HR what happened. Employers shouldn’t be ghosting anyone who interviews, and doing it to a volunteer (one who they invited to apply!) is particularly bad.