Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss left my performance evaluation on the office printer

My boss was working on my annual performance evaluation and printed a copy for her records to a community printer. The problem is, she didn’t go pick it up. She printed it late Friday afternoon and it sat there all weekend until Monday morning when a fellow coworker brought it to me, thinking I had printed it. When my boss arrived at around 10:30 a.m., which is her normal time, she asked me if I “found something” on the printer. I replied, “You mean my evaluation?” She said yes, and I gave it to her and explained I did not find it but it was brought to me and that I was unhappy because half the office would have read it. She took it, said sorry, and walked away. No one would admit it, but I am pretty sure half the office did read it, with the other half being told about it.

I am very upset, and I feel the situation calls for more than a shrug and insincere sorry from my boss. How would you handle this, both from my perspective and my boss’s? My evaluation was positive, which helps the situation a little, but I still feel … violated, I guess, is the best word.

It sounds like she was a little cavalier about it, and I agree she should have sounded like she took it more seriously … but other than a more serious-sounding apology (“oh my goodness — I hadn’t intended to do that; I’m so sorry about that”), there’s not really more that she could do. She made a mistake, she should take it seriously and let you know she regrets it, but it wouldn’t make sense for her to zap everyone’s memories or give you a bigger raise or anything like that.

That said, I can definitely understand why you’re weirded out; this is a document dissecting your performance that wasn’t intended for anyone but you and your boss to see. Hopefully any coworkers who saw it didn’t stand there and study it, and if they did, they’re really at fault for doing that.

2. My coworker got upset that I revealed that we’re temps

I have been working at the same office since February but through an employment agency. Recently they took on another worker through the same recruitment company. We’re a team of three, our third colleague being a direct employee of the organisation. For this reason, she gets privileges that agency workers don’t – such as flexi-time for example, whereas we can’t exceed more than 37 hours a week and have to finish half an hour early on one day a week. I don’t have an issue with this, but accidentally offended my fellow temp today when the following happened:

Someone not on our immediate team was curious about why we had each had a 4:30 p.m. finish this week, and I explained that we were temps so it was a different rule. When she had left the room, my fellow agency worker said she didn’t want anyone to know she was temp as she considered it a “lower status.” I was taken aback as I hadn’t meant any offense and don’t believe being an agency worker is anything to be ashamed of; I’m one myself and it just means your employment terms and conditions are with the agency as opposed to their client. But I also accept that this is how she feels, and I have agreed not to draw attention to the fact if it bothers her. She seemed okay with this, so I don’t think she’ll hold it against me.

But I’m kicking myself for the fact that I did upset her, even though it wasn’t intentional. I’ll be careful to think before speaking in future, but do you think I should have been aware of this in the first place? Was I in fact really stupid and thoughtless?

No. Her desire to hide her temp status is not typical. She’s weirdly overly sensitive on this, and you should not have been expected to anticipate her unusual take on this. It’s perfectly okay to mention a factual term of your employment, particularly when it’s directly relevant to a question being asked.

Read an update to this letter here.

3. My intern just got hired by the same team I’m interviewing with

I recently applied for a position that I’m incredibly excited about and had a great first interview. I was told right at the beginning that they were taking another look at the position and might split it up or keep it as one. I sent a thank-you note the evening of and then waited to follow up until the end of the following week (as the hiring manager said to do if I hadn’t heard from her).

The kicker here is that the morning after my interview, my intern told me she had applied for a position on the same team (different role). This morning, right after I sent my follow-up email to the hiring manager, my intern informed me she accepted a job offer there. (I have obviously not mentioned to my intern that I was also looking for a job on that team, as I felt it would be inappropriate. I also have refrained from asking her to elaborate on her experience because I thought that would be weird.)

I got a response from the hiring manager later this afternoon letting me know that they were still reviewing what the position would look like and should know more next week. Normally I would just leave it at that and follow up later — but now I’m wondering if it might make sense to respond thanking her and mention that they just hired my intern. The position I would be in would be the position above my intern’s new role — which is the only reason I would think of bringing it up, because it seems like it might be relevant knowledge.

Is it better to just leave it be and follow up next week as the hiring manager suggested and not mention that my current intern is their new hire? I feel weird enough not mentioning it to my intern, even though she’s offered up the information because I’ve given her advice during her job search. Also I’d also assume that the hiring manager must have put two and two together and realized that we must have some connection based on our current roles.

I’d mention it, because I like transparency and I’d want to avoid any possible weirdness later. I’d just say something like, “By the way, I understand that you just hired Penelope Plufferton, who’s actually currently interning for me. She’s great.”

Be aware that if you do this, they might ask your intern about you, so if you don’t want that happening, I’d also mention that she doesn’t know that you’re interviewing and that you want to continue to keep your search confidential.

4. Do people know that the University of Pennsylvania is an Ivy League school?

I will be attending the University of Pennsylvania in the fall. Many people at my high schools have never heard of the school. Will employers know UPenn? Will they know that is an Ivy League school? And lastly, if someone came to you asking for a job with a degree from UPenn, would you be impressed?

Well, it’s probably the least known of the Ivies. People who are particularly in-the-know about academics are more likely to realize it’s an Ivy; the rest of the world may not (and some confuse it with Penn State). Rigorous and prestigious employers are likely to know; with others, it’ll be a crapshoot.

Personally, I’d consider it a sign that you were a high achiever in high school and probably had a rigorous college education (which is the same thing I’d think about someone from Princeton or Yale, as well as good schools that aren’t Ivies, like UVa or Duke).

But I think you’re getting too caught up in the prestige of the Ivy League. You’re going to a good school with an excellent reputation, and that’s what matters most.

5. Can I ask for a phone interview before interviewing in-person?

I received an email from an employer wanting to set up an interview next week for a position. However, I really think phone interviews are so important before interviewing in-person. There was no phone interview given, and I would like one before committing time off work, etc., since as you know the position has to be mutually beneficial for both of us.

Is there any way to tactfully ask for a phone interview prior to the in person interview? Would this hurt my reputation as seeming hesitant or could this be a potentially smart move? Thoughts?

If you’re pretty senior, or your skills are very in-demand, or they approached you about the job (versus you applying for it), it’s reasonable to say, “Before we set up an in-person meeting, could we set up a call so I can learn more about the position and we can see if it seems like it might be the right fit?” But if none of those things are true, then you pretty much have to go along with the process they’ve laid out. Not everyone does phone interviews (even though they should!).

The exception to this is if you have some sort of extenuating circumstance — for example, if you’re not local and you want to learn more before flying there. But if it’s just “I’m not ready to commit to an in-person conversation with you” (which is how it’s likely to come across), then no.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Recovering from a period of lower performance at work

How do you gracefully recover from a period of poor performance at work without either making excuses or throwing yourself much further under the bus than is actually necessary? And how do you rebuild a slightly tarnished reputation (or figure out if it actually *got* tarnished anyway)?

The background is, I suffer from severe depression and moderate anxiety, which are both well-controlled by medication and usually don’t affect my work much. However, I had a disruption in medication for almost two weeks recently because of some insurance issues, which is more than enough time for symptoms to start showing up again, and I lost a lot of motivation and found it hard to care about or focus on doing anything at work. It happened at a bad time as well – in the middle of a highly-stressful transition between software systems that put me in a majorly central role of responsibility, on top of my existing duties (which already come close to overwhelming me sometimes) – and long story short, I dropped the ball on several things.

I’m back on my meds and working on getting caught up and on top of things again, but it means I keep finding stuff I left undone for lack of energy/focus/motivation as I go through my backlog. I feel terrible coming to my manager for like the fourth time in one day to say “oops here’s another thing I screwed up/didn’t bother to do!” – and I am getting more and more tense that she’s getting upset with me or that I’m going to end up in trouble. Ordinarily, I’m a very good employee – our department head has (jokingly) told me I’m not allowed to go on vacation because he can’t run the department without my help, and most of the people I work with outside our team have given glowing feedback on my work – but I feel awful about having messed up so many things in such a short span of time and I’m afraid it’s going to damage my reputation (or has done so already), with my manager mostly but also with others in the organization.

How do I make a graceful recovery from this? I feel like my manager would be understanding if I brought up my mental health struggles, but I don’t want her to think I’m making excuses, either. Do I just apologize profusely while I fix things, then wait out any fallout for a couple months, or is there a way to talk to her about it without making excuses and making myself look even worse?

I think you’ll feel better if you say something to her so that she has an overall understanding of what’s going on. However, you don’t need to share the specifics of the situation with her if you don’t want to. It would be fine to just say, “I want to let you know that I was dealing with some health issues for a few weeks recently, and it definitely affected my work a bit. The issues are resolved now, but I know I wasn’t on my game during that time and I wanted to let you know that so that you have that context too.”

One of the nice things about generally being an excellent employee is that it buys you some extra slack during times like this. Your manager knows that this isn’t your normal M.O., and she also knows that you’re human and will occasionally be affected by things outside of work, especially heath. Give her the framework to make sense of the last few weeks, and I’m sure she’ll just be glad that you’re back to feeling better.

2. Applying for a job at the company I left on bad terms

Long story short, I left my old job (in 2010) in a quite bad way. My boss — who almost everyone agreed was abusive, and who had forced many, many talented people to quit — and I had an argument. It was the last straw, and I quit in a huff. I got a new job a few months later, and never badmouthed the organization. Also, I was on good terms with everyone else there, except HR, who didn’t like me because my boss didn’t.

Now, I am a freelancer, and I freelance for Old Job – at the request of the manager that I quit because of. I was told she liked my work and didn’t hold grudges.

Now there are a few openings in entirely different departments of this company, and I would like to apply for one. The other department is much better suited to my talents and interest. However, is this a terrible idea? I have at least one HR person who doesn’t like me (the other quit) and I have no idea what my old manager would say if asked. I also have no idea what my HR file says – I had to take a month off of work because of a legitimate medical problem at one point, and I always got the feeling they held that against me. I’m most afraid of being embarrassed; I would hate to have them laughing that I actually thought I could get hired again.

Apply! You’re freelancing for them, at the request of the very boss who would be likely to be the biggest issue, which is a decent indicator that the place doesn’t hold what happened against you. It’s certainly possible that although they’re fine with you freelancing, they wouldn’t be fine with you coming back as an employee, but even if that’s the case, it’s very unlikely that they anyone would be mocking you for not knowing that.

All that said, since you have plenty of contacts there, I wouldn’t just send in an application cold. If you know the hiring manager, even just a little, reach out to her directly, and say that you’re interested and wanted to see if she thought it could be the right match before you apply.

3. My coworker won’t stop pushing me to change my line of work

I have a question about a coworker who doesn’t seem to pick up social cues or have boundaries. My fiance and I made a work-related relocation to a place neither of us ever had any intention of living — with the understanding it would be for two years, tops. Since moving here, I found a new job but it is definitely not something I would want to do forever, which kind of makes the two-year timeline easy to deal with.

I am in a marketing role in a company that offers consulting services. I am not interested in becoming a consultant, but a colleague always seems to put me on the spot in group settings (including when my direct boss is present), trying to “convert” me. It’s not something I have an interest in, I’m not interested in a career change, and my coworkers seem to think that Fiance and I have settled in to live here FOR-EV-ER.

Obviously, I don’t want to tell them I am counting the days until we can leave this place in our dust, but how do I handle this situation?

You’re overthinking it. You don’t need to get into a long, involved conversation about this. Just be direct and concise: “I’m happy with what I’m doing now, and I’m really not interested in moving to consulting.” If needed, you can add, “So, moving on, how is the X account going?”

If it continues after that, talk to the coworker privately and say this: “I’ve noticed you keep suggesting that I move into consulting. I’m really not interested in doing that — how do I convince you of that?”

Of course, that’s just rhetoric; you don’t need to convince her of anything — but it can be helpful in getting someone to realize that they’re being too pushy.

4. Asking for feedback on an assessment I did before I was hired

I am starting a full-time position about a month after I graduate, which is in a few weeks! A month and a half ago, I did a second interview with the company I will be working for, and part of it required a research and writing assessment. Basically, I had to research a teapot issue and write a memo about it. Obviously I did fine because I was hired, but can I ask for feedback on it? I want to hit the ground running when I start, but also don’t want to come across as too eager or annoying. If I do ask for feedback, do I ask now or when I start?

Eh, you could, although I’m not sure it’s going to be especially useful. You did well enough that they hired you, and that’s probably the main takeaway.

But after you start, you could say something like this to your manager: “Hey, was there anything in the memo that I wrote during the hiring process that I ideally would have approached differently, or any other feedback from that exercise that might apply to the work I’ll be doing now?” You want to frame this not as “I’m looking for pats on the head” (not that I think you’re saying that) but as “is there anything that would be good for me to know as I do similar work?”

It’s possible that the answer will be no, either because that’s truly the answer or because it’ll have been a while since your manager looked at it and she may not want to take the time to re-familiarize herself with it in order to give you useful feedback (since soon enough there will be real work to give you feedback on). But it’s not weird to ask, as long as you wait until you’re actually working there.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I’m suspicious of my wife’s former boss

My wife’s former boss has invited her to apply at his new company to work under him again. He hired her for her current job at the tech company where she is still currently working. This is her first engineering job, and she has worked there for about 18 months. She went frequently to lunch with him and we visited him at his house once for a party. He is married as well. My wife often spoke of him in a very flattering manner, and when they together, it seems that he likes her (in my opinion). There wasn’t anything improper, to my knowledge. I am working in the medical field, and so is her former’s boss wife.

Personally, I think she shouldn’t apply there and work under him again. It seems that there is some favoritism going on. My gut feeling telling me that he is attracted to her. Please advise.

Unless you have a very specific reason to not trust your wife to work professionally with this man, you should absolutely 100% stay out of it!

Favoritism isn’t a bad thing — good managers do favor excellent employees! And given the chance and the right staffing needs, it’s very normal for managers who move to new jobs to reach out to great former employees and offer them jobs as well. Your wife is a known quantity to her old boss; he knows that she’s great at work she does (presumably) and so of course he wants to work with her again. This kind of thing is very normal, and it’s a great thing for your wife. It would be very bad if you discouraged her from taking him up on it just because of their respective genders.

Since men still are the majority in high-level management roles, if women couldn’t take them up on these offers for fear of secret attraction, women would be missing out on a huge amount of career help. And that would be horribly unfair and unwarranted.

2. I gave my boss honest feedback about a coworker, and then he told him what I said

Recently, a coworker who no one likes to work with was given a promotion. For years I’ve heard the same issues from basically everyone who has worked with this person, and I also experienced firsthand how difficult and unhelpful he can be.

Our department manager asked me for my honest feedback, and I felt I owed it to him and myself to be truthful, of course assuming this was in confidence. Turns out the next day he spoke to the coworker and told him everything we had discussed.

This is now a very awkward situation with my coworker and I feel betrayed by the boss who gave the impression that I could trust him. I stand by my statements, but feel like I’m taking the fall for the many people who feel the same way I do (including the boss, who even agreed with what I was saying!).

I thought about talking to HR, but I don’t want to blow this up into an even bigger situation. And I thought about meeting with the boss again, but I don’t think I can take up his time to essentially ask “why would you do that?” I’m not sure what I could say to my coworker as my words were pretty harsh, though true. (He also recently threw me under the bus for something I didn’t do so I’m in no hurry to form a friendship.) Where do I go from here? Is the lesson here to not trust anyone and always keep your thoughts to yourself?

Did your manager explicitly promise you confidentiality? You wrote “assuming this was in confidence,” which makes me think, well, that you assumed. I can understand why you might have figured that, but yeah, if you didn’t explicitly negotiate confidentiality, you can’t assume it. And that makes sense, if you think about it — if what you’re saying is important, your manager will need to act on it, and acting on it will often mean that confidentiality is impossible.

Of course, a good manager will explain that to you, and will also do what she can to protect her sources, and where that’s not possible will ensure that there aren’t negative repercussions for the people who confided in her. But not every manager is a great one, so ideally you’d ask inquire directly about these things if they’re important in the situation.

I wouldn’t take this to HR, but it would be very reasonable to talk to your boss. I’d say this: “I hadn’t realized when we spoke about Bob that you’d share my comments with him. I understand now that you needed to do that in order to be able to address it, but to be honest, I felt a little blindsided that our conversation wasn’t in confidence. In the future, I’ll know to ask, but I wanted to mention it to you, since maybe you didn’t realize that was my assumption.” Also, if your coworker’s reaction is more than awkwardness — if he’s behaving inappropriately or otherwise making your job harder as a result of that — you could add, “Because of this, Bob is doing X and Y. Is it possible for you to ensure that I don’t have to deal with that just for talking honestly with you?”

3. I’m worried I’ll lose my new job offer during salary verification

I just got a fabulous job offer, but ran into a snag with salary verification from my previous place of employment. My last job was terminated after an acquisition. While I was employed there, I had a considerable shift in responsibilities and workload, due to the chaotic nature of the acquisition, and so I negotiated a higher salary for myself for the rest of the time I was there.

Fast forward to my newly offered position. I gave the HR recruiter and background verification company my ending salary, only for the results to come back showing my starting salary only, which is a lot lower than what I ended with (almost 30% lower). I explained the change in salary and provided my W2s as proof. However, upon speaking to HR at my previous job, I was told that my increase in salary was awarded as a retention bonus, so technically, when I disclosed what I believed was my base salary, I was lying.

What do I do now? I’m afraid this will reflect badly on me, and could result in the new company rescinding their offer.

Explain the situation! “The number they sent you was my starting salary. The number I gave you was my ending salary, like you saw on my W2. When I contacted my old HR department about this, they said that they have my last salary increase recorded as a retention bonus, which is why they gave you that different number. It was never explained to me as a retention bonus; it was presented as salary. So I wanted to clear that up and make sure you know that I gave you the original number in good faith.”

Also, poo to employers who ask for past salary information at all, which is none of their frickin’ business.

4. Can’t submit an application without giving a Social Security number

My 16-year-old son is trying to apply for part-time jobs at supermarkets, retail stores, and restaurants. To apply for 99% of these positions, he’s being told to complete an online application first. All of the online applications he’s started ask for his Social Security number as a required field. He can’t proceed with the application or submit it without filling that in.

I’m very uncomfortable with him providing that at this point in the job search process, but when he goes into the store/restaurant to speak to someone, they’ve all been telling him that he has to fill out the online application to even be considered. Do you have any advice? Am I being unreasonable by not allowing him to give out that information in these instances? I’m okay with him giving the information once he’s been hired, but the first step?

Nope, you’re not being unreasonable. It’s becoming increasingly common to require this, and it’s totally unreasonable and unnecessary. They don’t need anyone’s Social Security number until they decide who they’re hiring, and you have no idea what, if any, precautions they take with all those numbers they’re collecting from candidates.

I’d tell your son to just enter all zeros for now. That’ll get his application through their system, and most people who see that will understand why he did it (and that he’s not trying to pass it off as his real number for actual use).

5. Can being a podcast guest go in my job application materials?

I was recently a guest on a podcast about my industry — it was an honor to be invited, and I feel that my answers really showcased my skills, work ethic, and understanding of the ins and outs of the industry.

Is there any way to include this in my candidate profile when applying for jobs, be it on a resume, cover letter, or LinkedIn? Or would it come off as weirdly self-aggrandizing? The podcast episode comes up when I google my name, so should I just leave it to hiring managers to come across it on their own?

I wouldn’t put it on your resume; it doesn’t quite rise to the level of resume-worthy. But you could add a line in your cover letter linking to it and noting that it’s a sample of your approach to issues in your industry like X and Y. (Be aware, though, that most hiring managers aren’t likely to take the time to listen to much of it — listening to a recording takes a lot longer than skimming written materials. But some might, if they’re already interested in you.)

If you do mention it, make sure that it’s clear that your point is “here’s a link to listen to it,” not just to mention the fact that you appeared on the show.