Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. As an April Fools prank, I said I was quitting my job

I may have put myself unintentionally on the bad side of a few of my coworkers, as well as possibly my supervisor. Just recently was April 1st, and for some humor (or so I thought), I figured I’d pull a prank by announcing on Facebook that I have taken a new job. Since it was April 1st, I thought that everyone would get it right away. I thought wrong.

I thought April Fools Day was supposed to be recognized also as Prank Day. Do people not have a sense of humor anymore? I know pranks are very frowned upon around the office. But since our office has somewhat of a fun vibe at times, I thought it was acceptable. I certainly didn’t intend any bad blood anywhere with anyone. I’ve already been working here for a while, so it’s not like I’m new there. And I’m considered a very good employee (in terms of work). Do I have anything to be concerned about? This is the first time I’ve pulled a prank, and I certainly won’t pull one again. I have a few coworkers who are on my friend list, and to my knowledge, they don’t have my supervisor as a friend on there. Granted, I have a feeling they may have walked up to my supervisor and asked about this.

Yeah, that was a bad idea. Of course people have a sense of humor, but you’ve got to use some judgment.

It sounds like you don’t know if your manager knows about this at all. If you think it’s gotten back to her, then it’s probably better to address it than not. I’d just say: “I did a really stupid April Fools prank on Facebook and said I was changing jobs. I realized afterwards that it wasn’t a smart thing to joke about, and in case you saw it or anyone asked you about it, I want to make sure that you know that I don’t have plans to go anywhere! I’ll be more careful to leave work stuff out of any future April Fools days.”

2. Should staff get bonuses for covering when I’m on maternity leave?

I am the executive director of a small nonprofit and I’m about to go on maternity leave for six weeks. We have two other full-time staff members, who I supervise. A couple members of my board of directors have been discussing giving the two staff members a bonus this summer, after my return, as a reward for doing some of my tasks while I’m gone.

Of course, me being gone is somewhat of a burden since we only have a three-person office, but I’ve tried to take as much of that burden away as possible by doing a lot of advance preparations for things that might come up while I’m gone. Because of a combination of my prep work and the ability to put off many tasks until I return, the daily tasks of mine that the two staff members will need to do are fairly menial – things like sorting the mail, initialing invoices, etc. I will also be checking email during the entire duration of my leave, so I don’t foresee them needing to make any high-level decisions without me or anything like that.

While I’m always in favor of raises and bonuses for my staff, I want to make sure we think through the ramifications of whatever decision is made. My main concern is that we will set a precedent and not know where to draw the line – if one staff member goes on a two week vacation, should the remaining staff get a bonus for covering for them? In a situation like this, is it common to provide bonuses to staff who cover daily tasks for people who are on maternity or other long-term leave, or is it considered just part of the regular job? I’m interested in hearing commenters’ experiences with this too.

Some employers do, some don’t. In general, it’s a good thing to do if you can afford it and if the increase in work is more than a minor one. And yes, it’s generally only for long-term leaves, not for two-week vacations.

If it’s truly just sorting the mail and initialing invoices, that doesn’t sound like it rises to the level of bonus-worthy — but I’d make sure you’ve fully thought through whether that’s really all it will be and whether they’re likely to need to put in significant hours above what they normally work. It sounds like you’re lowering your staffing by one-third during this time; is there really no more work that will fall to them? If there truly isn’t and they’re not going to working more hours, I don’t see much of an argument for bonuses … but I also don’t think it would be the worst thing ever if you did them anyway as a recognition of whatever additional work they did do.

I hear your worry about creating the expectation that you’ll always do this whenever someone is on leave, but you can address that pretty directly by explaining that in general part of the job is to cover when someone is out, but this is one-time thing to thank them for making your life so much easier, or something like that.

3. My husband isn’t giving his boss a baby gift

My husband’s boss is pregnant and getting ready to go on maternity leave. I suggested to my husband that we buy her a nice set of baby bottles. I was raised that if you know someone that is expecting, it’s only polite to provide a gift, either at a shower or on your own time. My husband didn’t agree that he should give his boss a gift.

The office HR manager arranged a baby shower (very informal, and only told the team about it the day of). The party was pretty much an excuse to have pizza in the office. No one was told beforehand, including the expecting manager, and no gifts were given.

In my office, I would absolutely buy my boss a gift, but we have a team of five women and one man. My husband’s team is five men and one woman (the boss). I’m wondering if working in a male dominated field is the reason why my husband doesn’t think it’s appropriate to give a gift, or if it’s that I’m mixing personal and work relationships.

Well, the gender makeup could certainly have something to do with it. But I wouldn’t spend energy worrying about it (if you are); your husband knows the culture of his office best, and it sounds like he probably called it right, given the nature of the shower. And there are certainly teams that don’t buy gifts in this type of situation. I wouldn’t be surprised if they skew more male, but I’m totally guessing here. Either way, though, I think the main thing is to trust your husband to know his office best and to handle it if it turns out he called it wrong.

I’m not harping on the “gifts in offices should only flow downward” thing like I normally do, because I think it’s pretty common to make exceptions for babies.

For what it’s worth, there’s a whole thing about how women tend to take on the emotional labor of running the household, which includes things like thinking about gifts their spouses might be obligated to give rather than letting them handle it themselves, which just doubles the amount of stuff you have to track and think about. (I say this as someone who totally struggles with this personally.)

4. I’m interviewing for a job, but they don’t know I’m going to grad school in a few months

I applied for a job I was very much interested in shortly after sending out applications for graduate school. My likelihood of acceptance into grad programs was definitely 50/50; I had no idea whether I’d get in or not, really. HR at the job — which is a job I very much want to do, but not for my entire life — took some time getting back to me.

In that time, I was accepted into my first choice graduate program and committed to starting on August 25. Five days later, on April 4, HR from the job offered me a phone interview, which I scheduled.

I’m not sure how I should handle this now, since I’d only be working there three or four months maximum at full-time. I may be able to work part-time while in graduate school but am not honestly sure. Do I tell the employers about this extant commitment, knowing it would cost me the job? Is it okay for me to take the job and then tell them? It is really a job I want to do and I could definitely use the money toward school.

If it’s a professional job, they probably expect a commitment of at least a couple of years. You shouldn’t take it if you’re planning to leave in several months; you’ll burn the bridge and not be able to use them as a reference, and it would be operating in bad faith. You could ask if they’d be open to you going part-time in August, but if they’re hiring for a full-time person, it’s probably because there’s full-time work. Plus, it doesn’t sound certain that you’ll even want part-time at that point … all of which means that you probably just need to explain the situation and withdraw from consideration. But if you don’t do that, at a minimum you need to make sure you have this conversation BEFORE accepting the job, not after. After will feel like a bait and switch and won’t make you look good.

5. How to tell your manager you’re applying for an internal promotion on another team

I found this link on your blog about keeping information about an internal interview from your manager. I want to give my manager a heads-up that I am interested in applying for a promotion in another team. Even if it means I won’t get it, I want to try and see what it takes and what is expected in that position. What should I say, especially if they are reactive and are constantly worried about me leaving?

“I’m really happy with my job here, but the opening in the X department interests me so much that I wouldn’t forgive myself for not throwing my hat in the ring.”

Or, “I’m really happy with my job here, but X really interests me and is a direction I’d love to grow in. I’ve decided to apply for the X role in the Y department, and I wanted to be up-front with you about.”

Of course, you want to make sure you’ve been there a reasonable amount of time first. There’s no way to make this go over well if you’re applying for another team after only being on your current one for five months.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My company is requiring me to stay overnight for a strategy meeting, but I have a baby

My company has just announced an overnight, all expenses paid corporate strategy meeting. The meeting begins Thursday at 7 a.m. and ends Friday at 5 p.m. Our regular hours are Monday-Friday 8-5.

I have a very small child, under 5 months, and I do not have child care after 6 p.m., nor do I feel comfortable leaving my child overnight.

I was told it is not required but strongly suggested that I go and stay overnight. If I do not, I will be replaced as the accounting manager, and either be demoted or fired. I am not allowed to bring my child to the meeting, and I would have to pay the difference to have my own room overnight with my child. (Again, no child care). Can my company do this? What options do I have?

Wait, they’re telling you that staying overnight isn’t required, just strongly suggested, but that if you don’t do it, you’ll be demoted or fired? That sure sounds like required to me. Also, they’re being totally ridiculous to require this when you have an infant at home. I’d say this to them: “I normally would have no problem with attending this and staying overnight, but right now I have an infant at home and no child care. There’s no feasible way for me to stay overnight. I hope you agree that my work is excellent and I’m committed to participating however I can, but there isn’t a practical way for me to make this work. How can proceed so that this doesn’t jeopardize my job?”

That said, yes, they can choose to be unreasonable and short-sighted and require this, unless you’re able to tie your absence into some legally protected benefit, such as FMLA, other medical accommodation, or religious accommodation. If none of those are options, then you’re stuck with having to decide whether to bring your baby and hire on-site child care for her, or risk your unreasonable company’s wrath.

2. My coworkers won’t send me the work I’m supposed to handle

I work in a small department where some of our duties overlap on certain issues, but it is clear who is the staff lead on all issues. I have recently noticed that the director of communications never refers media and communication related inquiries to me when the subject matter is something I handle and instead goes to someone else in my department. The person in my department is supposed to refer the inquiry to me, but instead he chooses to handle the inquiry. This has at times resulted in inaccurate information being communicated. Others in my department have no problem referring inquiries to me.

I have directly asked them why they’re doing this, and the communications person said that she didn’t realize it was my subject matter area, while the person in my department said it was easier than referring it to me. I just don’t know how to get it to stop continually happening. How do I handle this with the communications person and with my coworker who seemingly refuses to refer projects or issues to me when they squarely fall in my assigned areas of work? In general, I have a great working relationship with both of these coworkers and I would like to continue that.

I don’t know how direct you were when you talked to each of them, but is it possible you soft-pedaled the message? For example, if you just asked why they’re doing it and didn’t clearly ask them to stop, you might just need to be clearer and firmer. For example: “Bob, I’ve noticed you’ve continued to handle teapot inquiries yourself, even though they’re supposed to go to me and not sending them through me has resulted in inaccurate information in the past. Going forward, can we agree you’ll send them on to me?”

If it still continues after that, then it’s time to escalate this by talking to your coworker’s manager: “Hey, I’ve asked Bob a few times to send teapot inquiries on to me, but it’s not happening. What’s the best way for me to get that changed?”

3. Two of my employees don’t get along with each other

I work for a small, privately owned company. We do not have an HR department. I transferred into the management role a few months ago. I have two employees who just cannot get along. They are constantly coming to me to complain about one another over the most minor things. (Example: S thinks K speaks too loudly on the phone.) If it helps to know, K is fairly high performing. She tends towards the dramatics, but is a solid employee. S is pretty new and still in training to a degree, but is not performing as well as I would like. My gut tells me that S is the problem, but now is not an opportune time to replace anyone (two of my six-person staff have been asked to cover different positions while new staff are trained).

They have now started trying to recruit other team members into this battle. It has basically become junior high all over again. I have tried speaking to everyone individually to address and correct all these concerns/perceptions, but it has not seemed to help. Bottom line: these two just do not like one another. I am not super concerned about them not liking one another; this is a place of business, not kindergarten. But it has definitely affected morale. Any advice, short of firing them?

Shut it down. Meet with them each individually and say this: “Having pleasant, cooperative relationships with coworkers is as much a part of your job expectations as any work I assign you. That means that you need to stop bringing me minor complaints about S/K and complaining about S/K to your coworkers. Can you do that?” You should then hold them to that just like you would any other performance expectation, meaning that if the problems continue, you have a much more serious conversation.

I’d also consider whether you need to manage S more closely for a while, since you think she’s the core of the problem and her work isn’t great. Being more hands-on with her for a while should help with both issues. (And related to that, make sure you’re not penalizing K for problems being mainly caused by S.)

4. Can my resume explain what kind of manager I prefer?

I am currently looking for work, and I don’t have much experience in any field I’d be working in so the specific duties don’t matter to me as much as they would otherwise. I find cultural fit to be much more important … and in the past I’ve found micromanagers much more, well, manageable than the managers who try to make friends instead of setting expectations. Is it appropriate for my resume to say, for example, that I prefer a task-focused management style over a relationship-focused one?

Is there a more appropriate way in general to put my expectations, which are largely focused on company culture and management style rather than the details of which company has a better wellness program, out there in a way that doesn’t put off potential employers but saves everyone some time if it’s not a good fit?

Not at the application stage, no. That absolutely doesn’t belong on your resume — which is about what you’ve accomplished, not what you’re looking for. It doesn’t belong in your cover letter either; raising it at the application stage would come across oddly. Since it’s so outside of application norms to talk about what does and doesn’t work for you in a manager, you’d likely appear to be difficult to work with Instead, this is the kind of thing to assess during the interview process, once you’re face-to-face.

5. Made mistakes at work — should it still go on my resume?

I am a senior in college and hold down two work-study jobs. One is as an admin at one of the school offices. The other is as a customer service rep for our music school’s box office. I like both of my jobs and feel that overall I’m not a bad employee. I get work done in a timely manner, am friendly to students/patrons, and have cordial relationships with my coworkers.

The problem is my customer service rep job. I have been at this job for nearly three years and am usually on time or no more than a couple of minutes late (read: less than five). There may be an incidence of extreme tardiness (more than 10 minutes) once or twice in a school year. That is, until this year, when I have had a lot of issues getting to work on time. Part of this is due to the fact that I recently moved and now rely on the (at times very flawed) public transit system in my city. But there have been a couple of instances where I have forgotten about a shift or misread the schedule and been late because of that. I won’t make excuses; I’ll only say that I’m a graduating senior who hasn’t been as on top of their schedule as they should have as of late.

This all came to a head this week when I offered to cover two shifts, and then because of my own disorganization missed them both. This has never happened – late? yes, completely missed? no. More than one missed shift can result in termination. Because it was the beginning of our quarter and my boss understood that anyone could have a bad day, he lumped the two shifts together and only counted them as one missed shift. However, I have been warned that if I miss or am extremely late again, I may be fired. I really can’t afford to lose this job. After my boss emailed me, I immediately replied to apologize profusely and assure him that it won’t happen again.

How should I handle this on my resume when looking for other jobs or opportunities? I’m obviously not looking to tell on myself, but since I wasn’t great at being on time, would it be dishonest to leave this job off my resume so that I don’t have to talk about it if it comes up in an interview? This boss had also previously (before the lateness debacle) graciously offered to serve as a reference for me when looking for jobs and wrote me a lovely recommendation last year when I was looking for internships. Should I not list him now? I think I have enough references to be okay if I don’t but what is the proper/most honest thing to do? (I have had several other internships and jobs, including one at a well-known magazine, and this has not happened at any of those other employers.)

It’s not dishonest to leave the job off your resume. Your resume is a marketing document; it’s not required to be a comprehensive list of everything you’ve ever done. However, being deciding to leave it off, I’d talk with your boss and ask him to tell you honestly whether these issues will impact the type of reference he’s able to give you. It probably will, but it won’t necessarily — so it’s worth hearing what he says before you decide. And in asking about it, you can reinforce that you understand it’s a serious thing.

That said, if you have plenty of other jobs that demonstrate the qualities and accomplishments that you want to show, then it might not be at all problematic to just leave this one out. In general, even aside from the issues with this one job, you want to pick and choose what goes on your resume to paint the strongest picture of yourself — so it’s possible you shouldn’t be listing everything anyway.