my former employer is requiring me to return to finalize my resignation — after I already left by Alison Green on March 29, 2016 A reader writes: I’ve been working in customer service for a small company in California for the past three years and have just accepted a position elsewhere. I submitted my two weeks notice and letter of resignation and worked out a last day with the manager. Everything seemed to be in order, but my manager has informed me that I will need to come back a few days after my start date with my new employer to sign some paperwork. She said it is to finalize my resignation and that there is no way to get it done before my last scheduled day. I have seen former employees come back after their last day to do the same but assumed it was because they tended to give only a few days of notice. My new job is about half an hour away from my current employer, so I was really hoping we could get everything signed and finalized before I left. I don’t want to be the person who has to ask for an extended lunch two days after their start date. But I was also told that even if they could get the paperwork done in time, I would still need to come into the office to pick up my final check (they have a strict policy against mailing it out) and to have a “wrap up” meeting with all the managers. This was my first job out of college, and to be honest I have no clue what usually happens in this situation. Is this normal? No, it’s not normal. Your company has no claim on your time once you’re no longer working there. If they want to do a wrap-up meeting, they need to do that before you leave the job. If you’re still working there, I’d say this: “My schedule once I leave is going to be very packed, and I won’t be able to come back in to sign paperwork or do a wrap-up meeting. I’d be glad to do that meeting before I leave, of course, and you can mail me anything that you need signed, but I won’t be able to return after my last day.” Regarding their insistence that you pick up your final paycheck in person after your last day, there are two problems with that: California law requires that resigning employees who give at least 72 hours notice (which you did) receive their final paycheck on their last day of work — and also allows resigning employees to receive that final paycheck by mail if they request it. So this “you must come in to pick up your check after your last day” violates the law twice. I would say this: “Oh, actually, state law says we should issue my final paycheck on my last day.” If you don’t feel strongly about that part of it, you can add, “But it also allows employees to request that it be mailed, and that’s fine with me if you prefer to mail it. But we need to do one of those two things since I won’t be able to return to pick it up.” If you’re not still working there by the time you read this, just slightly tweak the advice above. For example: “My schedule is very packed, and I won’t be able to come back in to sign paperwork or do a wrap-up meeting. You can mail me anything that you need signed, and I’ll take a look at it. Also, please put my final paycheck in the mail. I know you don’t typically do that, but California law actually requires it for final paychecks when employees request it. Thank you.” (And if they give you a hard time about that, be aware that California law says those wages were due to you on your final day, and the state imposes steep penalties on employers who are late with that final payment.) And as for whatever it is that they’re asking you to sign … Don’t assume you have to sign it. Read it carefully and decide if you want to sign it. At this point, they don’t have any leverage and they presumably aren’t giving you anything in exchange for signing, so it’s not a given that you should. Read an update to this letter here. You may also like:how do I give notice to my boss if they're on vacation?my company called my coworker's resignation "a horrific decision"is it fair to give no notice when your boss has threatened to push resigning employees out early? { 193 comments }
how to tell if an employee’s workload is too high by Alison Green on March 29, 2016 If you have an employee who tells you that her workload is too high or who can’t get through everything on her plate, in some cases you’ll know pretty quickly that she’s right; you’ll be able to see for yourself that the workload is indeed overwhelming. But in other cases, you might not feel quite so sure. If your gut is telling you that the workload should be manageable but your employee is insisting that it’s not, how can you figure out what’s really going on? These steps will help you assess whether a team member’s workload is indeed unrealistically high or whether the issue might be something else (such as a need for better systems or more training or a performance problem). 1. Think about what you’ve seen other employees in similar roles do. If you have other employees in similar roles or have managed people in the role before your current employee came on board, looking at what workload they’ve been able to manage will give you an excellent source of data about what level of productivity is reasonable to expect. Of course, you should be sure to factor in any significant differences; the productivity of the person three years ago probably isn’t a good metric if the job has expanded significantly since that time. But looking to what others have been able to achieve in a similar context is a good way to inform your thinking about what you’re able to expect. 2. Pay attention to the pieces that you are able to confidently assess. You might not be able to get into the weeds on everything your employee does, but she probably has at least a few responsibilities that you are very familiar with. If you know from those projects that she has a strong work ethic, works efficiently, has good judgment, and is resourceful in solving problems, you can probably extrapolate from that knowledge to trust her judgment on the rest of her work. On the other hand, if those pieces seem off, it’s reasonable to conclude that the rest may be too. 3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Sit down with your employee and really dig in to what the workload looks like. How long does each type of project that she’s responsible for take? Why? How is her time getting allocated? What roadblocks is she running into? By asking these types of questions, you might discover that work is taking much longer because your staff member is dependent on another department that moves very slowly (and then you might be able to address that with them), or that there are excellent and unavoidable reasons that projects take longer than you thought they would, or any number of other insights. Note that in having this conversation, you’ll get the best results if you don’t put your employee on the defensive. Make sure to convey that you want to collaboratively problem-solve; this isn’t a “gotcha.” 4. Ask about trade-offs. In talking with your employee, make a point of asking whether there are trade-offs that could allow work to be accomplished more quickly. For example, you might find out that 85% of a project can be accomplished quickly but the other 15% takes much longer, and it might be reasonable to handle that 15% differently (streamlining it, pushing it back, or even cutting it entirely). Or you might find that there are other shortcuts your employee could be taking, or that there are places where “good enough” would be sufficient and where perfection isn’t necessary, but that she didn’t realize that would be okay with you. Managers often assume that employees will point out potential shortcuts or ways to streamline a project on their own, but employees often figure that if those shortcuts were an option, you would have said so earlier. If you do the four things above, you should end up with significantly more data to inform your thinking, and should be much better positioned to assess whether your backlogged employee is indeed facing an unrealistic workload or whether there are other issues to resolve. If you do the four things above, you should end up with significantly more data to inform your thinking, and should be much better positioned to assess whether your backlogged employee is indeed facing an unrealistic workload or whether there are other issues to resolve. I originally published this at Intuit QuickBase’s blog. You may also like:what to do if your workload is too highmy coworker gets mad when I follow my boss's instructionsmy boss keeps asking if I'm OK { 71 comments }
manager keeps missing deadlines that impact my work by Alison Green on March 29, 2016 A reader writes: A recent snafu at work has left me wondering on how I should handle similar situations in the future. One of my supervisors frequently leaves things I need for my work to the last minute. I understand my supervisor is extremely busy (doing the work of 1.5-2 people right now), but I’m getting knocked for these things not getting done or for errors resulting from the unreasonable time constraints. Most recently, I waited 4-6 weeks for a letter for a mailing. I gave verbal reminders and an email reminder. As a result, the letter went out without some key pieces that I later found out were wanted/required but wasn’t informed about, as well as with a typo. This is all made more urgent as one piece in the packet (that couldn’t be sent without the letter) becomes irrelevant in a few weeks. How would you recommend I handle situations like this in the future? I’m at a bit of a loss because of the power differential between us, and I don’t want to overstep my bounds or make it seem like I’m throwing my manager under the bus to our boss. In the past when I’ve asked for deadlines, for example with the letter, I was told as soon as possible or on X date. Then X date passes and I still don’t have it. Think of it this way: Your job as the owner of these projects is to do everything in your power to get them done by their deadlines, but you do not have a magic wand that can compel your manager to produce things more quickly. That means that you should focus on the pieces that you can control. For example: * Be very, very clear ahead of time about the trade-offs for delays. For example: “In order to have this fully proofed and in the mail in time for the content to still be relevant to people, I need your piece by Tuesday. If we get it on Wednesday or later, we can still get it to the printer in time but will need to skip the usual proofreading. If it’s Friday or later, we’ll be giving recipients hardly any time before the offer expires.” Then, if you get it on Thursday, you say, “I want to remind you that because our deadline was Tuesday, we’re going to skip the usual proofreading in order to get this in the mail on time.” (It’s still going to be your boss’s prerogative to say “no, find a way to get the proofing done before it goes out,” and then you have a conversation about what to push back to make that happen and whether it’s worth delaying the mail date or not.) * Once a deadline is missed, follow up immediately and provide similar info as above. For example: “I know you’re swamped. I was hoping to get X from you by yesterday. At this point, we can still get it out next week but I’d need to get it from you today. If that’s not realistic, can we talk about how to proceed?” * In the spirit of focusing on the pieces here that you can control, if we assume that your manager may not be able to get you what you need by when you need it, are there other ways you could get those things or make it easier/faster for to get them done? For instance, you might say to her, “I know you’re swamped — how about I draft this and then run it by you so that you just need to sign off?” Or, “I know you get a ton of documents for review. Is there a way for me to make it easier for you to give input? Would it be easier to review if I brought things to our meetings rather than emailing them, or maybe there are some things that I can move forward with on my own?” * Talk about the big-picture pattern. For example: “I know that you’re juggling tons of things and can’t always meet the internal deadlines I’m setting for my projects. Is there a better way for me to navigate that? A few times, it’s led to me getting dinged for delays, so I’m hoping that there might be a better way for me to approach it.” And/or: ““[Bad consequences] are happening when I’m not able to get your pieces in time. Should we just accept that that will happen sometimes, or would it it make sense to handle this stuff differently?” * If the person knocking you for the problem resulting from these delays is someone other than your manager (sounds like it might be her boss?), it’s reasonable to say, “Can we make sure that Lucinda knows that we ended up delaying this because of priority conflicts? I don’t want it to look like an oversight.” Ultimately, your manager may make the call that Priority X is more important than Your Priority Y, even if it means that Y is delayed or otherwise negatively impacted, but the keys are to make sure that she’s making those calls with full information about the trade-offs, and that she’s making it clear to you and her own boss that she’s doing that. You may also like:how much is it my responsibility to remind coworkers of deadlines?are senior execs too busy for spelling and grammar?how to say "it's not okay" at work { 75 comments }
my company told me to change my LinkedIn information, interrupting coworker, and more by Alison Green on March 29, 2016 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My company told me to change my LinkedIn information My company does not have a social media policy. I was recently told that I needed to change my LinkedIn profile as HR felt that I was misrepresenting my duties. My duties are varied. I was told to change it in order to reflect my job description and not actual duties. I was also asked to remove my accomplishments. Although I am doing an active job search, I made these changes out of fear of termination. Can a company with no written policy dictate these changes? I have since blocked my coworkers from finding my name in LinkedIn. Yes, as long as you’re working there, they can require you to do that. They don’t need to have a written policy allowing them to; it’s really up to them. (In general, an employer doesn’t need to have written policies before being able to take action.) But it’s a weird request, and I’m curious about why they care. If your profile was inaccurate, I could definitely see them not wanting you to misrepresent your role — but if what you wrote it accurate, it’s really not something a reasonable employer would be concerned with. 2. My relationship with my new boss and director has taken a bad turn I was recently promoted and assigned to work under a boss who was promoted at the same time. I was given no new training to go with the position, but received no negative feedback for my work. One day, with no warning, Boss appears at my desk and escorts me to the office of our director and proceeds to lecture me about my attitude in front of said director. About a week prior, I printed an email from Boss and put it up in my workspace; it outlined new instructions for an existing (but new to me) process. Boss thought at I was making fun of him. I was so stunned by the accusation that I could only state (and repeat) that I kept the email as a reminder, which I felt I needed since I am still new to the position. I pointed out that I had not received any formal training on new tasks, so the reminder was helpful. Director then proceeded to accuse me of having a negative attitude and of possibly demoralizing my staff, citing examples of other notes or documents I had at my desk. It took me a few hours after the meeting to get over the shock, but I finally realized that they had referred to specific items I didn’t have anymore – filed away or discarded – so Boss had been going through my desk for weeks, it seems. I had valid reasons for retaining every item mentioned. There were no specific performance incidents, missed goals, or policy violations cited. Since then, I have been careful to clear my desk at the end of every work day and there have been no more issues related to that. However, I’ve started to receive increasingly rude/aggressive emails from Director regarding tasks, projects, etc. I’m so terrified of saying the wrong thing now that I send the briefest possible responses, which I retread and edit a half dozen times before they’re sent. When I see him in staff meetings, he refuses to speak to or acknowledge me (others have noticed). Boss is acting like none of it ever happened. Is there anything to be done? Ooof, this is a bad situation. If you have a semi-decent relationship with your boss (which I realize may not be the case after the printed-instructions incident and if he indeed has been snooping through your desk, WTF), you could try talking to him about what’s going on with your director and asking for his guidance in repairing the relationship. He may have insight into what the director’s issue is or things you could do that would help, or he may be able to talk to the director and smooth things over. But if that’s not feasible or doesn’t work … ugh. I’d be paying close attention to what kind of feedback you’re getting now (proactively ask for some if you’re not getting any) and planning for the possibility that this might not work out. It can be really hard to succeed in a role where your boss’s boss has a problem with you, rightly or wrongly, so you want to keep assessing things through that lens. I’m sorry. Read an update to this letter here. 3. My coworker keeps interrupting me We hired a new member of our team almost a year ago now, and her work product is generally fantastic. She’s been well received by our team and people she works with on other teams, from what I’ve heard. Unfortunately, she has been a bit difficult for me to work with. She is constantly interrupting and correcting me, even when she isn’t correct about her correction. I’ve tried giving her the floor when that happens and just ignoring it, and also tried just continuing my thought as though she didn’t ignore me, but this morning it got to a breaking point. She asked me a question and halfway through my sentence interrupted me with her own answer. I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced this or not, as I haven’t brought it up with a colleague or our manager. On our team of six, I was the youngest until she was hired. It could be that nobody has told her yet and she just needs some coaching. It could be other reasons, but I don’t think it’s right to speculate on those. Is it reasonable to bring it up with her in private? If so, how would you phrase it? Or better to bring it up with our manager? If so, how would you go about that? I know it seems childish to complain of someone interrupting you, but it’s gotten to the point where I feel disrespected. I’d actually bring it up in the moment, which will make it less of a big deal than a whole separate conversation. From now on when she interrupts you, call it out! For example: * “Actually, please hang on — I wasn’t done.” * “Please let me finish.” * “Whoops, I was still talking. As I was saying…” It’s possible that a few times of this will solve the problem. But if it doesn’t, then after one of those interruptions I’d say, “I’m not sure if you realize, but you interrupt me a lot. Would you be more vigilant about letting me finish my thought before you jump in?” 4. How to thank coworkers for a generous gift I very recently got married. On my last day in the office before leaving town for the wedding weekend, my colleagues surprised me with a “bridal shower” breakfast. They also gave my spouse and me a very generous monetary gift with a sweet card. I work in a small office with 5-10 colleagues, which is part of a larger national company with about 200 employees. I’ve been in this job for 6 months, and I’ve come to really like all of my colleagues, even though we are still getting to know each other. Together, my colleagues pooled together and gave us an average of $100 per colleague. I was blown away by their generosity, but I am not sure of the proper “thank you” response for a pooled office gift. Should we write each colleague a separate thank you note, or should I leave a common thank you note for all of them in the office kitchen, where everyone can see it? Any other ideas? I did bring in some homemade cookies for the office, but didn’t exactly phrase it as a “thank you” gesture related to the wedding gift. This is the first gift I’ve ever received from professional colleagues, and I’m struggling on the best way to express my gratitude! If it helps for context, all of my colleagues signed the card. In addition, I am much younger and less senior than all of my coworkers. They all have 15-30+ years of experience and make low six-figures, by my estimates. I am in my mid-20s and make mid five-figures. I think a single group thank-you would be fine because that’s so often how it’s done with a group coworker gift … but I also think that it would be particularly gracious of you if you instead sent individual thank-you’s to each person, especially given the degree of their generosity. No one ever receives a personalized thank-you and thinks “eh, she shouldn’t have taken the time.” 5. My boss wants me to take a full-time job with him but I’m waiting to hear about a better offer I’ve been with my current internship for a year now and my boss wants to hire me on full-time, but I may get an offer from a different company. At first, I was excited to work here, but the compensation he offered is way less than I could make anywhere else. I love the job, but I feel like the new job I might get will offer greater future opportunities and it’s right down the alley of my dream job. I’m at the final interviewing process now, and apparently if you get this far, then you basically have the job unless you butcher it somehow. My boss wants to “lock me down” now, which most likely means an offer/contract to sign, but I don’t want to sign it until I know if I was accepted/rejected from the potential job I’m interviewing for. My annual review is in a week, and I think this is when my boss is planning to present the offer to me. We have a good relationship as well. I would call him my mentor. How should I proceed? I don’t want my boss to think that they’re a second choice, but I feel like the new job would be more beneficial in the future. I’d say this: “I really appreciate this offer. I’d like some time to think it over to make sure I can commit long-term. Can I take the week to think about it and give you an answer by X?” If the timelines just don’t match up well enough — if your boss needs an answer before you’ll have heard from the other company — you can see if the other company is willing to expedite their process (here’s advice on how to do that). But even if you don’t get the other job, are you sure you want to lock yourself into a job that you say will pay much less than you could make elsewhere? There’s a third option in here, which is to turn down your boss’s offer and keep looking elsewhere. (It might not be an option to do that and still stay in your current role, but it’s something you could talk to your boss about.) You may also like:I google my coworkers -- is that weird?LinkedIn is sharing your data with AI -- unless you tell it not tohow should I navigate social media connections during a job search? { 331 comments }
why are job candidates balking at an interview over lunch? by Alison Green on March 28, 2016 A reader writes: I am a recruiter for medical offices. I have been in business for 18 years. Most of that time, I have had a home office. I typically will interview my prospects (99% women) at a café or coffee shop. However, my latest client is a single man who is hiring an administrative person (higher than a clerk but not a manager). I have interviewed three great candidates, and they are happy about the opportunity—until the client says that he wants to interview them at a steak restaurant. At that point, each one has declined the opportunity. He said he wants to do it this way rather than at his office because he has a temporary employee currently working there—but did not mention that initially. He said that I was not screening them thoroughly (not so). I told him that we should meet them together at a coffee shop instead of for a more formal lunch setting. I don’t think he believes me and is insulted that one of them admitted she and her fiancée thought it inappropriate to meet for a first-time interview anywhere other than the employer’s office. I do not doubt his character at all. What say you? A lunch interview at a restaurant isn’t outside standard business norms — it happens all the time — so I wonder if there’s something else going on here. I mean, for the record, an awful lot of people wouldn’t be thrilled to do an interview at a steakhouse, from vegetarians to people who just don’t want to have to worry about eating while they’re trying to have their first interview with someone … but it’s not something that’s normally considered inappropriate, especially not in the way that it sounds like your candidate meant. (Unless perhaps you’re in a very conservative region that thinks it’s odd for a single man to have a business lunch with a woman? Hopefully you’re not because that’s pretty oppressive, but if you are, it would be smart to take that into account.) I do think that if your client is running a small business, savvy candidates will be particularly attentive to signs that he might be operating outside of standard business conventions and/or that he might not respect normal professional boundaries (which can be common with small business owners). A lunch interview at a restaurant isn’t outside of professional norms, but if candidates are already picking up on other signs of boundary issues, it’s possible this is the clincher for them. More important than any of this, though, is that it doesn’t matter what I think if all or most of your good candidates feel differently. You have three good candidates who seemed enthusiastic about the job and then withdrew when asked to meet this guy for lunch. That’s a pretty strong indicator that he should drop the lunch idea. If he won’t, I’d try to get him to nail down why he’s so wed to it. You may also like:can I tell a recruiter how rude it was to ghost me after my interview?I don’t want to hear about all the snacks our main office gets, interviewing after scandal, and moreis this company's interview process unreasonable? { 619 comments }
everything you need to know about getting fired by Alison Green on March 28, 2016 Getting fired is scary and stressful. Not only has your source of income been yanked away from you, but you might be left with questions about what to do next, how to talk about it in future job interviews, and even whether what your employer did was legal. Here’s a quick primer on what you need to know about getting fired. I was fired without any warning. Is that legal? Generally, yes. No law in the U.S. requires employees receive a warning before being fired. Good employers will typically warn employees before firing them, in order to make sure they have a chance to improve and because they don’t want other employees worrying that they could be fired out of the blue – but that’s up to the employer’s own policy and isn’t governed by law. Does my employer have to have a good reason for firing me? Your employer can fire you for any reason at all or for no reason, as long as it’s not because of your race, religion, nationality, sex, marital status, disability, and or other protected characteristic. You can be fired because your boss just doesn’t like you or because the CEO wants to bring in her cousin’s neighbor to take your place. There are two exceptions: First, if you have a contract, which most workers in the U.S. don’t, your company is bound to the terms it lays out, including around separation. Second, if you work in Montana, you’re in the one state in the country that requires firings to be for “good cause.” Will I be eligible to collect unemployment benefits? It depends. State laws vary, but most states allow fired employees to collect unemployment benefits as long as they weren’t fired for intentional misconduct or for violating clearly stated workplace rules. For example, being fired for poor performance won’t generally make you ineligible to collect benefits, but excessive absenteeism often will disqualify you. Does my employer have to pay me severance? No law in the U.S. requires severance payments, so it’s up to individual employers. However, you can certainly try to negotiate a severance package. You’ll generally have more bargaining power for severance if your employer is concerned that you might sue for something (for example, if you had cause to think you had been discriminated against on the basis of race, sex, or another protected characteristic) because severance is typically accompanied by general release of future claims against the employer. Your chances of severance can also go up if the employer thinks they have done you wrong in some other way, such as moved you into a position that you didn’t have the skills for or fired you soon after you moved from out-of-state for the job. In that case, reasonable employers are likely to want to provide severance to cushion the blow. Should I list the job on my resume in the future? It depends. If you were only at the job for a short period of time (say, less than six months), listing it will probably do more harm than good. A few months at a job won’t be useful in showing any real accomplishments or advancement, and including it will likely raise questions about why you left so soon. On the other hand, if you were at the job for longer, you may prefer to list it so that you don’t have to answer questions about what you were doing during that time period. How should I talk about the firing if it comes up in an interview? Be prepared with a few sentences that explain what happened. Most interviewers will only be a brief explanation and won’t expect you to present a detailed account of what happened. For example, you might simply say, “Actually, I was let go. The workload was very high, and I didn’t speak up about that soon enough. I ended up making some mistakes because of the volume. It taught me a lesson about the need to communicate better when the workload is high and to get on the same page as my manager about priorities if we’re in a triage mode.” Or in another type of situation, you might say, “It turned out to be the wrong fit. The job required expertise in web design, which is not my strength, and ultimately we agreed that they need someone with that background in the role.” What’s really crucial here is being able to talk about the situation calmly and non-defensively. If you seem bitter and angry, that’s going to be a red flag. On the other hand, if you seem to have learned from the experience and understand what went wrong, that can assuage any concerns from the interviewer. You may also like:my boss asked me, "if you were fired, who would you tell first?"habits that can get you firedemployee keeps asking if she'll be fired { 59 comments }
is my employee lying about needing bereavement leave? by Alison Green on March 28, 2016 A reader writes: Our company’s bereavement policy is pretty standard. For immediate family (parent, sibling, child, spouse), we have three days from time of passing to the funeral service, and one day of bereavement for non-immediate family (grandparent, aunt, uncle.) I’ve had to use it once myself and had no issues — when I returned, my director asked for an obituary, I sent him a link to the online obituary and no further questions were asked. In another case, a relative was not deemed as being eligible for bereavement time, and I was told that I would need to use PTO time for the absence. Now, I am a supervisor of my department of about 20 people. I’ve had to apply for bereavement time for two employees since taking over, and it was as simple as my own experience. Both were one-day leaves, and they got the obituary to me as soon as they returned. About a month ago, an employee, “Jane,” came to me to say that her stepfather was in hospice and asked what our leave policy was. I confirmed with HR that a stepfather was eligible for the same amount of leave as a parent (I felt odd about asking, but I wanted to make sure that I understood the policy). I forwarded the information to Jane, including letting her know my own experience of getting the link to the obituary to my boss. On a Thursday night, I got a text from Jane saying that her stepfather only had a few hours to live and that she was going to be with him. I gave her my condolences and asked her to stay in touch so that I would know how to schedule around her absence. My next communication from Jane was Monday morning after the start of her shift. She said that her stepfather has passed over the weekend and the service was the next day so she would be back on Wednesday. Again, I gave her my condolences and assured her that we’d cover her work for her. While she was gone on Tuesday, Payroll asked me for a copy of the obituary since I had put in for her bereavement time to have started on Friday. I told them that I didn’t have it yet, but I’m sure that I would get it from Jane when she came in the next day. To try to confirm this, I sent a text to Jane which went unanswered. I wasn’t too worried about this since she was at a funeral after all. The next day, Jane returned and was rather flustered when I asked her for a copy of the obituary. I apologized and told her that I wasn’t trying to make her upset but that payroll needed it in order to pay her for the days she had been out. By the end of the day, she had forwarded me an email from a secretary at the funeral home that stated “We apologize that the obituary is not ready. Please find the attached note to certify that Jane Smith was at our location.” The attached note looked like a doctor’s excuse note and stated that Jane had been at their location on Friday, Monday, and Tuesday regarding Mr. Jones arrangements. I forwarded this to Payroll and figured that the case was closed. Payroll contacted me the next day to say that the note was fine to certify the dates of services but still needed something that proved the date of passing (not on the note) as well as her relationship to the deceased. After checking the funeral home’s website to see if the obituary had been posted yet, I mentioned to Jane what Payroll had said about the note. Jane was immediately defensive and then let it slip that he hadn’t died until Saturday. I told her that if he hadn’t died until Saturday, then Friday would not be counted as bereavement time since we only cover from the time of passing to the service. She was upset and said, “I don’t know why you can’t just take that note I already gave you. How was I supposed to know that he wasn’t going to die until Saturday?” I was a little taken aback by this. I also had to take time off so that I could be with a loved one during their final hours, and I counted that as well worth the PTO time spent. I suggested to Jane that she contact the funeral home again to see about the obituary or if they could provide any other documents relating to time of passing. I also went to see my director because I felt like I was getting in over my head. I should mention at this point that Jane and my director don’t get along. We’ve had multiple issues with absenteeism with her. We accrue PTO time by number of hours worked, and it seems like whenever she has 8 hours saved up, she uses them right away even though i warn her against it. She had just enough time for one day at the time this happened. She’s also been caught in several ethical dilemmas, and was almost fired this fall when she was caught cheating on an aptitude test for a possible promotion. HR only decided to keep her because I had not specifically told her that she should not get help from others in that department on the test. Afterwards, Jane went to HR and said that my director had said a lot of hurtful and inflammatory things about her. I don’t know if it was true since I was on vacation at the time, but my director got in hot water. So, I went to see my director about the missing obituary problem and the problem of the dates. He immediately erupts that she’s obviously lying and playing me for a fool. “Why wouldn’t a funeral home print an obituary before a funeral,” he demanded. Now I am feeling incredibly sheepish and uncertain. There is a part of me that does not want to believe that someone would lie about something as important as this. That same part feels incredibly sick about having to question someone about this. Another part of me just feels like I’m an idiot and she’s been playing me the whole time. Now Jane has sent me a link to the county’s vital records sites that shows a death certificate (with date of passing) is being processed under the name that she has provided. I forwarded this down to payroll, but they have stated that this still doesn’t prove her relationship to the deceased — especially since neither she nor her mother share the same last name as the deceased. (I can think of multiple reasons for this in the modern age but none that help here). Payroll is willing to wait until Monday for an obituary. What do I do? Should I contact the funeral home myself? I feel like I have bungled this terribly, but I’m not sure what I should have done differently. Am i just letting my own personal experience with loss get in the way? The bigger issue than the bereavement situation is that you have an employee who you don’t trust, who has had multiple problems with absenteeism, has had several “ethical dilemmas,” and was caught cheating on a test for a promotion. The obituary issue seems like the least of your worries. In this specific situation, however, I’d be more concerned about mistreating someone who really may have just had a close relative die than I am about the possibility that she might get an extra bereavement day that she’s not entitled to. So personally, I’d let this go and just make sure she understands what’s required for bereavement leave going forward. And then I’d watch her like an absolute hawk in the future, because someone with all the issues you’ve described is going to mess up again, and you want to spot it when she does. Totally aside from the current issue, she doesn’t sound like someone you should keep on your staff, and I’d keep your eyes open for the next time she demonstrates that. But if your company won’t let you handle it that way and insists that you sort out the bereavement issue in some conclusive way, then all you can really do is tell Jane what the policy requires, specifically. An obituary that lists her or her mother as relatives? Something else? Find out what your company will accept, and then let Jane know. I would not call the funeral home yourself — you really don’t want the story line among other employees to be “While Jane was mourning the death of a parent figure, Lucinda was doubting her story and calling the funeral home to ask questions.” And you’ll probably have more credibility with your boss if you acknowledge that there are serious issues with Jane, totally aside from the current situation, and that you’re going to aggressively dealing with those going forward — to the point of firing her if they continue — but that you don’t think the possible/likely death of a family member is the time to take a stand. Read an update to this letter here. You may also like:our boss is being a jerk about bereavement leave for miscarriagesemployee wants bereavement leave for her dog, costume contest fundraiser, and moremy coworker went through my trash, using bereavement leave for a vacation, and more { 531 comments }
is it true that 80% of job openings are never advertised, last-minute meetings, and more by Alison Green on March 28, 2016 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Is it true that 80% of job openings are never advertised? I always hear the statement that “You know, 80% of job openings are never posted or advertised.” What do you think? Is this statement true or false? What has been your experience? If it is true, how are 80% of these jobs getting filled then? How can job seekers find these jobs? If it is false, why do people make these kinds of statements? From everything I can see, it’s false. It may have been true 30 years ago when it first started getting thrown around, but I don’t know it was true even then. 80% is crazy high. It’s not that some jobs don’t go unadvertised; some do! But that 80% figure doesn’t seem to be anywhere close to the reality. Jonathan Blaine has a good discussion of this here. As for why it keeps getting repeated, it’s being repeated by people who don’t know any better, who aren’t thinking critically about it or testing it against their own experience, and who in some cases have something to gain by convincing job seekers that finding a job is a mysterious thing they need to pay for help doing. 2. My manager schedules lots of last-minute meetings with no warning I just started a new job and everything is great except for one thing (maybe two things). My supervisor has a habit of telling me about meetings last minute, and they are often several hours long. This is extremely frustrating because I am a major planner and like to lay my day out in advance. I am also the kind of person who gets into a working groove and does not want it to get disrupted. I suppose the other small issue is that while my new supervisor is a super nice guy, he can be socially awkward and get gruff once in a blue moon (he will immediately apologize for those instances when he does get gruff), so I am afraid to tell him I cannot handle these last second meetings. At my last job I was somewhat isolated, which had advantages and disadvantages. I had the power to reject meetings invites and my supervisor was across the country. Now my supervisor is right next to my office and my day is getting flooded with meetings that lack value. Since I am new, I feel like I don’t have the capital to complain or try to reduce meetings. There are so many great things about this new job, but I am really hung up on this one issue. What can I do? You can raise this in a way that isn’t complaining: “I’m a major planner and like to lay out my day in advance. It can be tough when I’m in a groove on something and then a meeting comes up that I didn’t know to plan around. Would it be workable to get an earlier heads-up about some of these?” Depending on how senior you are and your dynamic with your manager, you could also try having some conflicts with these multi-hour meetings: “I have a hard stop at 2:00 because I have a phone meeting then with X.” … “I’ve got this afternoon blocked off for X since the deadline is close. Would it be possible to schedule this for Thursday instead?” … etc. 3. Multiple names changes due to marriage I have been married twice. I changed my last name both times, and I’m not sure of the best way to show this on my resume. I’ve seen the suggestion to put my maiden name in parentheses, like Sally (Lannister) Smith, but this doesn’t account for jobs that will only know me by my first husband’s last name. It seems like my options are either to list all the names I’ve used at the top under an “Other Names Used” heading, or to list the name I used at each specific job: Teapot Smasher, 2002-2008 (As Sally Tyrell). What’s going to cause the least confusion? I definitely wouldn’t do an “other names used” section or even the “as Sally Tyrell” option next to each job. It’s too likely to conjure up associations with aliases, rather than marriage-related name changes. I don’t think you need to worry about this on your resume at all. It’s only going to be relevant when employers check references, so when you provide your references, I’d include it there — similar to how you might include a line explaining how a particular reference knows you. In this case, in addition to “Fergus was my manager at Rice Sculptures Inc,” you’d also add, “My married name at the time was Sally Tyrell.” 4. My boss tries to guilt me into covering her closing shift I work in a very small office (only me and my boss) so I’ve had a hard time figuring out how to handle it when my boss wants to leave early on the days that she’s supposed to close the office by herself. Since there are only two of us, we rotate our work days/times. Three days out of the week, I open the office at 8 a.m. and leave at 4:30 p.m., while my boss will come in at 9 a.m. and stay until closing at 5:30 p.m. We swap the other two days; my boss opens and I close. For the most part, our current schedule (my boss’s idea) works pretty well for us. However, sometimes my boss randomly gets “sick” during work days that she’s supposed to close on and loudly complains and moans that she “feels so awful.” It’s obnoxiously obvious that she’s totally fine; she just wants to leave early. I have absolutely no problem staying late if there’s a serious emergency that she has to take care of or if she’s truly sick (and not faking it) but I really don’t want to voluntarily stay late just so she can leave early – I have a life too! I always feel guilty not offering to close though. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with this? If it’s pretty rare, I’d either ignore it (and try not to feel guilty — it’s only an hour) or offer a trade — “Do you want me to close for you today, and you’ll cover opening and closing on Wednesday?” (Note that would have her taking one of your shifts in exchange; it’s not just you doing hers with nothing in return.) But if it’s frequent and you want to a way to get it to stop that isn’t one of the two options above, you could just bring it right out into the open: “Is our current system swapping opening and closing working for you? I know you sometimes don’t feel well and wish you could leave earlier. Would you rather I take more of the closing shifts and you take more of the opening ones?” (Obviously, don’t offer this if you wouldn’t be happy with that change.) 5. Does my company need to give me a cell phone if they’re giving them to others? If everyone else at my level or above has a company-provided cell phone, can my organization say they won’t give me a cell phone because it is not necessary for me to do my job? Even if I know several employees do not need them for work? I process the bills so I know this as fact. Yes, it’s perfectly reasonable for them not to provide you with a cell phone if it’s not necessary for your job. That’s true even if you think some of the other people who have them don’t really need them (apparently the company thinks that they do, even if those people aren’t using them much). Frankly, you don’t want a company-issued cell phone, unless you want to be expected to be available around the clock. You may also like:is it more effective to introduce myself to a company with a cold email rather than apply for a specific opening?my boss cares more about "confidence" and "strength" than truth and accuracyhow can you determine how old a job posting is? { 154 comments }
weekend free-for-all – March 26-27, 2016 by Alison Green on March 26, 2016 This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. (This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.) Book recommendation of the week: The Summer Before the War, by Helen Simonson. Class snobbery, English countryside, and the scandal of a young woman teaching Latin! * I make a commission if you use that Amazon link. You may also like:all of my 2021 book recommendationsthe Ask a Manager book is on sale at Amazonbuy the new Ask a Manager book for your team { 940 comments }
I can’t get added to the email list for work parties, avoiding work travel during IVF, and more by Alison Green on March 26, 2016 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I can’t get added to our office email list for work parties I feel like this is a strange dilemma, and I believe 100% that it’s happening out of oversight and not maliciousness but… I’ve been at my current position about two years now. As an office we celebrate birthdays, baby showers, wedding showers, retirements, etc. These parties take place during work hours and are open to the entire staff, often even former staff. These parties are announced via email a few days in advance. Mostly I find out about these parties five minutes before they happen when a coworker will stop by my desk and say “Hey, want to head down to Bertha’s party?” One office friend has started forwarding me all event emails because I’ve so consistently been left off the email list. I am on the email list for meetings and other general announcements, apparently just not parties. I’ve spoken to those in charge of sending out the emails a few times, as has my direct supervisor, and been assured that I will be added to the list. Initially I wrote it off as being a new employee and updating the party list being a low priority, buy we’ve hired several new people since me who have had no problem getting on the list. I also find myself left out of the office birthday card tradition, despite my name appearing on the birthday calendar. In the grand scheme of things this is a small blip in an otherwise great job, but it is annoying. I’m not sure if I should keep pursuing the fact that I’ve been left off the event list or just let it slide. You shouldn’t have to ask for this multiple times, and the fact that it still hasn’t happened is annoying. You’re entitled to be irritated by it, and I don’t think you should let it slide — you’re being left out of events that are part of the bonding of your team, and that’s crappy. Go talk in person to whoever is in charge of that list. Say this: “Hey, I know you’d said in the past that you’d add me to the list for birthdays and other celebrations. I’m still not getting those emails. Do you have a minute to troubleshoot this so that we can figure out what’s going on?” If the person says they’ll take care of it, say this: “Great. Do you have a minute to check right now while I’m here, so we can make sure it’s fixed?” In other words, make them deal with it right then and there while you’re standing there. If they say it’s not a good time, then ask when you should come back. That should fix it, but if it doesn’t, then you should go to that person’s manager, point out that you’ve asked for something simple multiple times, and ask what you need to do to get it taken care of. 2. Should I email with questions after a company indicated they received my application? I recently applied for a job via email. The person emailed me back thanking me for my interest, confirming the receipt of my documents, and provided me with some additional information about the institution. I feel that I should respond, but my sister thinks I should only respond if I have questions rather than just clogging the person’s inbox. What are your thoughts on the matter? And if I do respond, would a quick “thank you for the update/information” suffice? A quick “thank you” is fine, but you shouldn’t write back with questions. The time for questions is an interview, if you’re invited to one. Otherwise, you’re asking them to spend time answering questions when they may not have determined that you’re a strong candidate yet. 3. I don’t have the five manager references a company is asking for For an upcoming interview, I have been asked to provide five references from previous supervisors. The only problem is that I was only able to come up with four. Is it a bad idea to ask the HR contact from the hiring company about this, or do I have to come up with five no matter what? References from five previous managers — plenty of people haven’t even HAD five previous managers, particularly earlier in their careers. I’d say this to your contact: “I don’t have five previous managers to connect you with because of ___, but here are four and I’d be glad to offer up coworker or client references too, if that would be helpful.” (Also, what they’re asking for is really overkill. Around three is reasonable in most cases.) 4. I haven’t stayed in touch with my past managers and now need their help I am a current undergraduate student and have been following your advice column for a while now. You have helped me out tremendously in getting a lot of really great internships! Unfortunately, I have not behaved as professionally as I should after completing them. I have neglected staying in touch with my previous supervisors and have essentially not spoken to them after leaving the organizations. I am particularly disappointed in not having kept contact with my supervisor from an internship I had almost a year and a half ago. I think my problem was not knowing what to say after leaving and after a while feeling like too much time had passed for me to casually reach out without some sort of explanation, which only worsened the longer I avoided it. For what it’s worth, I was also dealing with some major family issues the semester after leaving and then spent the last fall studying abroad. Ultimately though, those are not valid enough excuses for dropping the ball on what I felt was a very good mentoring relationship. To make matters worse, I am about to graduate (a year early, thus even more in need of a professional support system) and while it would obviously be great if she could help me with finding a job within or outside the organization we worked at, I don’t want her to think that this is the only reason I am reaching out to her. Is there any way I can still salvage the situation or should I just let it go? This is actually pretty normal! Lots of people don’t do much to stay in touch with past managers but still reach out when they need a reference; in fact, I’d say that’s more common than the other way around. So don’t give this another moment of worry. It’s totally fine for you to reach out now, update on what’s going on with you, and ask for whatever specific help you’re hoping for. 5. Avoiding work travel during IVF My husband and I are very excited to start an IVF cycle in about six weeks. I already have a handful of appointments set up at our clinic starting in a few weeks that I absolutely can’t move due to the timing of the cycle. I don’t travel regularly for my job but I do occasionally, often on not much notice. There are some rumblings now about a trip next month…and I’m already worried how I’m going to navigate this travel around the appointments I already have on the calendar. And of course, I’m the only person who does what I do in my company, so finding someone to go in my place is not an option. While I have a good relationship with my boss, I don’t love the idea of telling him that I’m going through IVF, both because it’s really personal and I don’t want to be forced into announcing a pregnancy (or lack thereof) before I’m ready. Can you help me with some suggestions as to how to draw a line in the sand around certain dates, without giving away why, and also without making people think something much more serious is going on? Saying something like “I have a medical procedure” makes me think people are going to worry I’m really ill. Or am I overthinking it? Probably overthinking it a bit. “I have a a medical procedure that week that I can’t move” is really all you need to say. People are not likely to assume you’re seriously ill just based on that. Good luck with the IVF! Read an update to this letter here. You may also like:our polyamorous employee wants to bring their 3 partners to the holiday partymy office canceled baby showers to protect people dealing with infertilityboss invites my predecessor to our parties, interviewing your potential manager, and more { 123 comments }