Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I can’t get a former coworker to respond to me

I left the organization I worked for several months ago. I did not part on good terms with this organization; a false allegation had been made against me, I wasn’t given a chance to tell my side, and I resigned. I didn’t get to talk to anyone before my departure.

There was someone who I wanted to stay in touch with there, and I have tried reaching out to them through email but do not get a response. During the time I worked there (more than three years), I had a very good relationship with this person and I looked up to them very much. I have been stumped as to why they do not respond to my emails and don’t know what to do.

I’d assume that it’s the “not parting on good terms” that’s in play here. They either believe the allegation that was made or don’t like the way you left (for example, if you resigned without giving notice), or they don’t want to get involved, or they think it will be harmful to their own standing or reputation to continue to be in touch with you.

I don’t think there’s much else you can do here. You’ve reached out and they’re not getting back to you, and you pretty much have to leave it there. Depending on the details of your departure, it’s possible that reaching out to them with a reasonably concise, not-angry-sounding email explaining what happened could change their stance, but it’s also possible that it could just reinforce the wall they already have up; it’s hard to say without knowing the details or what this person is like.

Basically, though, when you leave on bad terms, there’s a good chance it will affect your relationships with people there (even if it wasn’t your fault).

2. Our boss never submits us for our employee recognition newsletter

What are your thoughts on employee recognition newsletters? The HR department at my workplace sends these out on a quarterly basis, and I’m starting to question how they are put together. They appear to be a place to note employee achievements (either work- or non-work-related) as well as list new hires and retirements. It seems as though HR relies entirely on information provided by department heads for these newsletters, and I am starting to think this can lead to people and/or accomplishments being left out if the department head isn’t aware of an achievement or forgets to submit it.

My department has particularly low morale, and the department head doesn’t seem interested in putting much effort into his submittals. At one point he asked me to write up an achievement for him to submit. I emailed him a short paragraph, and then he forgot to submit it! This type of attitude from him means the submittals from my department are scant and slanted towards 1-2 people, and we actually are the biggest department.

I wondered what your thoughts in general are about these types of things, and also if you think it would be worthwhile to suggest to HR that they set up an online submittal form that anyone could use?

I’m neutral on them in general; there are good ones and there are bad ones, and it really depends on how they’re done. But in your particular case, what would happen if you and your coworkers just submitted information yourselves?

I do think it could worthwhile to suggest to HR that they set up an online submission form. They might have reasons not to want to do that (maybe they want managers vetting submissions for accuracy or something, who knows), but there’s no reason not to suggest it to them.

3. Job offers made by email or FedEx

I’ve been at my current job for nearly three years. When I was being hired, I simply received an offer letter via FedEx rather than a phone call. I thought it was odd at the time but figured that it must have been a miscommunication between HR and the hiring manager or something.

I am now in the position of hiring someone and have selected someone. I’ve found out that HR will be simply emailing the candidate am offer and copying me. Is this normal? I’ve had several jobs and have always received a phone call so this is very strange to me.

Some companies do indeed do it that way. But you’re right to want to make the offer yourself; the way you extend the offer can be part of your recruitment strategy, because it gives you the chance to tell the candidate how excited you are about potentially bringing them onboard and why and to sell the job a bit. That’s a lot more compelling than a sterile written offer that shows up in a form email from HR (let alone hearing about it for the first time via a FedEx package).

Just because this is your company’s default doesn’t mean you can’t do it differently. I’d try telling HR that you’d prefer to make the candidate the offer yourself, over the phone, and then have them follow-up with the written offer and other paperwork. If you have a really bureaucratic and rigid HR department, they may refuse — but it’s a very reasonable thing to ask.

4. I’m frustrated with how my employer is handling a promotion I applied for

I recently applied for an internal job and was told that I would hear sometime in late December. Late December rolled around and I did hear, but they said that they would be extending the search due to an inadequate candidate pool, but that I would still be considered for the position after they interview more candidates.

I’m feeling pretty frustrated by this, but I’m not sure if I’m justified. I have worked at this organization for five years in an entry-level role, and I need a change – I’m exhausted in my current role and am constantly being given additional responsibilities, including covering for a coworker who was out on leave for the past six months for no additional pay. To do all that I have done for the company (I know that I am not exactly objective, but I know I have contributed in many ways that my coworkers haven’t) and then to be left in limbo – well, it stings, even if it isn’t in their control, and it really turns me off from continuing to give my all to this organization, even if it is in a promoted capacity.

Overall my employer is not the worst – I work a lot of hours but the benefits are good (even though the salary isn’t awesome) and I have some good work friends, though not as many as I did when I first started, due to the high turnover of entry-level positions. I know that it’s still a recent development and that part of me is bitter, but in many ways this also feels like a “last straw” of sorts.

My question, I guess, is where do I go from here – should I assume I’m not being considered and conduct a full job search? How do I determine if I’m leaving because it’s time or if it’s out of spite? Do I just behave as if this never happened when there are colleagues and supervisors who were in my interview?

Start a job search. Not because you have no chance of getting this position, but because you have no guarantee of getting this position (and while “we need a bigger candidate pool” is a perfectly legitimate position, it also tells you that they’re not jumping to hire you).

Meanwhile, though, this is the exact wrong time to let frustration or bitterness stop you from working at a high level. You need to have a strong professional reputation for this job search, and it’s certainly not going to up your chances of that promotion if you start letting things slip. And for what it’s worth, they haven’t really done you wrong here: They shouldn’t use promotions as a reward for hard work in a different position because they have an obligation to find and hire the best person for the role. I’d try to see your frustration just as a sign that you’re done with this role and ready to move on to a new position, rather than as a marker that you’ve been mistreated here.

5. Can my company have a Monday-Sunday work week?

What defines the work week? We work five days on and three off, and our pay period runs Monday through Sunday. So there are weeks that our work week runs into a new pay week. We currently get paid over time for any hours worked over 40 Monday-Sunday. I am a commercial truck driver, and my typical work week is 50-60 hours.

It’s up to individual companies to decide how they want to define the seven-day work week (meaning that they can choose to start it on Sunday or Tuesday or Friday or whatever they want). It does need to be the same seven-day period each time; they can’t keep mixing it up to get out of paying overtime. Since your company is using the same work week consistently (always starting with Monday), it sounds like they’re compliant with the law.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Slow employee is listening to podcasts while she works

We hired someone, Beth, a few months ago. She is doing usual entry-level work and is slow, with lots of mistakes. We hired another person, John, who’s doing the same work, but much better. So I know that it’s possible to do that work better as an entry-level worker.

Beth listens to podcasts and stories during work. I think that may be the cause of all the mistakes. How do I talk about this to her? We allow listening to music, but it feels like podcasts are different.

If Beth were performing at a high level, I’d tell you to leave it alone since it’s obviously not causing problems. But in this case, she’s slow and making mistakes, and it’s reasonable to wonder if eliminating distractions might improve her work.

Have you given her feedback on her work yet? Does she realize that she’s slower than she should be and making too many mistakes? If not, that’s actually the more important issue; she’s not likely to improve if she doesn’t realize there’s a problem, and telling her that might prompt her to stop with the podcasts on her own, although you can also suggest it as part of that conversation. But if you’ve already given her that feedback, then just check back in with her and say you’d like to see if eliminating the podcasts improves her speed and accuracy.

In either case, I’d word it this way: “I’ve noticed you listen to podcasts and stories while you work, and I think it might be impacting your focus. Let’s try a couple of weeks without them and see if it helps you improve your speed and accuracy.” You could also add, “To be clear, it’s fine to listen to those things as long as it’s not impacting your work, but in this case, I think it might be. So I’d like to eliminate whatever distractions we can and see if we can get your work up to the level we need it at.”

2. Explaining why I left a job at a religious college

I am curious about how to describe my reasons for leaving a job; it was 10 years ago, but the position has a lot of relevance to the kinds of positions I’m looking for now. The position was at a private Christian college and required adherence to a statement of faith and a code of conduct. They’ve been in the news lately for their firing practices, so there’s a small chance an employer will know them. I lasted a year there and left because I got a divorce. Working there became unpleasant, petty, and solely about me explaining my (totally justified) divorce over and over, up the ladder, and to bigger committees. My director loved me, but ultimately couldn’t shield me all the way up to the president. I wasn’t fired, but I left before it got to that.

Because I was newly divorced and broke, I took several jobs at once that were low-paying and beneath my “qualifications,” and performed them well until I found a “better” position that was more in line with my degree. Employers since then have asked about reasons for leaving the college, and I never know how personal to get. My record demonstrates I didn’t leave for something better. If I say, “I violated their code of conduct and statement of faith,” it sounds like I was cooking meth in the student lounge. If I say “we had philosophical differences,” it sounds like I wanted to come in late everyday. If I say, “I got a divorce,” that is taking the conversation to a weirdly personal level that I hope doesn’t matter in the real world outside of this bizarre college. I’m remarried, have kids, and live a completely stable and happy life — I don’t even want to tell anyone I’ve been divorced. I rarely even think about it and don’t want to live in a world where my employer does. And I hate that I’m forever professionally associated with a school that I’ve come to detest and a religion I’m slowly leaving. (It’s complicated, but I don’t want an employer to think I am complicated.)

Is there a smooth way to answer this question on an first-round online application? Is there a smooth way to address it in person? Can I do it without badmouthing a former employer while also signalling that I am no longer a wacko religious person? (Don’t answer that last question.) And please reassure this ex-fundamentalist that the rest of the world isn’t as concerned about my every move.

How about: “Religion ended up playing a stronger role in their workplace than I’d anticipated it would, and I found that I prefer a more secular environment.”

Really, when interviewers ask why you left a job, they’re just looking to make sure there are no red flags (or to get a better understanding of a move that raises question, like if you left after six months). This answer will make sense to people, and it’ll also do the double duty of conveying “I am not going to bring religion into your office in ways you might be worried about.”

3. Greeting interviewers when you have a cold

What do you think is the appropriate etiquette when greeting job interviewers while you have a cold? I recently interviewed someone who opted to forego the handshake (which makes perfect sense! no one wants your germs!), but opted instead to grab the interviewers on the shoulder instead of the handshake (both in hello and goodbye). Is that a thing? It was a bit awkward, especially since the candidate did it to every staffer she encountered. I heard later some people didn’t appreciate being touched at all.

What do you think is the best approach to greeting someone when you have a cold?

Grabbing people’s shoulders is a bit weird. But it’s fine to decline a handshake and just say something like, “I’m getting over a cold so I shouldn’t shake your hand, but it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

4. Mentioning in a cover letter that I’m paying my way through college

I’m currently applying for several jobs in marketing and am wondering if it would be appropriate to include the fact that I’m putting myself through college on my cover letter. Here’s how I’d use it:

“In the past two and a half years, I’ve written more than 21 articles a week for publications including A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H… (I don’t want to include the exact publication names, but they’re very well-known). My freelance writing career began as a creative outlet during freshman year; 27 months later, it’s become successful enough to enable my financial independence and completely pay for my college education and expenses. I’ve managed to grow this “side job” while also managing several extracurricular and volunteer positions, graduating in three years, and maintaining a 3.9 GPA. These combined responsibilities have made me an expert in time-management, prioritization, and organization—strengths that would prove invaluable in the (X) role.

Furthermore, not only am I well-versed in identifying relevant topics, gauging audience interest, pitching articles, promoting content, building a brand, and, of course, writing, I’ve also learned how to communicate professionally with fellow writers, editors, influencers, marketers, PR representatives, businesspeople, and more. As your (job title), I’d use these skills to…”

Okay, you get the point. I’m conflicted because, on the one hand, I’m really proud of my accomplishment and think it says a great deal about my work ethic, drive, and capabilities. On the other, I can see how it would be a little off-putting—after all, I’m mentioning my personal finances in a professional context. What do you think?

Use it! It’s excellent. It’s not really about mentioning your personal finances; it’s about using concrete examples to demonstrate exactly the traits you’re talking about — drive, organization, etc. It’s compelling and convincing, and it’ll impress most hiring manages.

5. My coworker won’t wear a uniform when our manager isn’t around

I work at a major retail store that went through a dress code change within the last two years. We must now wear uniforms on top of our shirts. While all this is fine by me, one of my coworkers who only works the weekends refuses to wear a uniform—or rather he’ll wear a uniform while our direct manager is around and then immediately remove it when they leave.

Other managers (even the store manager) see this and don’t comment on it, but the fact he waits for our direct manager to leave before he does it implies he knows what he’s doing is unprofessional. None of the managers who care work on the weekends, and reporting to an assistant or store manager seems like it would just fix the issue for that one weekend before they forget and thing continue as they have. Thanks so much for any advice you can give.

I’d let it go. The store manager has seen it and apparently isn’t addressing it, so it’s not really a thing that falls to you to address.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Confronting employees who violated the spirit of our office gift exchange

Every year, I coordinate either a white elephant or Secret Santa gift exchange for our small company. This year, we set a price range of “around $30” for those who wanted to participate.

A few of the gifts that were given this year were clearly not worth the provided price range. One of the gifts was a used item from the employee’s home (the recipient discovered this after the event ended). Do I (and if so, how) confront the employees who didn’t play in good spirit?

Don’t. These could be employees who wanted to participate but couldn’t afford to buy something for the set price range. If that’s the case, they’re likely to be humiliated and hurt if you talk to them about it. It’s of course possible that that’s not what happened and that these were just people greedily trying to get a gift without playing by the rules, but that’s not so imperative to address that it would be worth risking the first scenario.

This kind of thing just comes with the territory with office gift exchanges. Assume the most charitable explanation and let it go.

2. Sales team won’t tell us their schedules

I work for a company with close to 5000 employees, in a smaller branch that is not at corporate headquarters. I work in a very busy customer support department handling a high volume of incoming calls.

Our sales team is supposed to take requests for new accounts and pricing questions. My frustration is that the sales team does not have to provide their schedule to customer support, except for when they go on vacation. So, we do not know what time they are going to arrive, what time they are going to lunch, when they are going to come back. We have been asked not to set a time line for customers on when they will receive a call back from members of the sales team, and so many of us end up helping customers with the sales questions when we can, if time sensitive.

Is this a normal set-up between customer support and sales? It feels very dysfunctional to me and a bad experience for our customers.

I don’t think they necessarily need to provide that level of scheduling detail to you (that would be a real pain for many people, especially if they don’t have rigid schedules like that) in order to solve the problem. Instead of pushing that as the solution, why not talk to the sales team about the problem you’re experiencing — you have no way of knowing when customers will hear back, so you end up answering sales questions yourselves — and ask for them to help you figure out a better solution to it. You might end up hearing that they want you to tell everyone they’ll hear back by the end of the day, or the next day, or that they have some other solution that will work fine. Start by raising the issue and ask for their help in solving it, and see where that gets you.

3. Leaving work off my resume that I don’t want to do again

Is it okay to leave tasks off a resume that you don’t want to do anymore in the future? I work as an administrative assistant, but I’m thinking of changing fields/jobs in the next year or so. I’m doing quite a bit of accounting tasks now, but I never ever want to do that again. An das much as I keep saying that those things really aren’t something I’m good at or like to do, when managers see accounting experience they just assume I won’t really mind – I do.

I’m thinking of just leaving those off when I apply somewhere else, but I’m not sure that’s smart. It does say something about my attention to detail and thoroughness, but I intend to stay as far away from numbers and figures as possible if and when I change jobs. In short: should I include it and mention when asked that I don’t really like those tasks or should I just skip it all together?

If that work is only a small portion of what you do in your current job, then sure, leave it off. A resume is a marketing document, after all, and there’s no point in marketing yourself for work you don’t want to be doing.

But if it’s a major part of your job, it would be pretty strange to leave it off entirely. In that case, you’re better off getting really clear in the interview about whether the job contains accounting work — and raising it again when you get an offer, to make sure the hiring manager is fully on board with keeping accounting work off of your plate.

4. Employee keeps getting loans from coworkers and won’t pay them back

I am the HR manager at a trucking company. We have over 100 drivers on the road. I have one dispatcher who has borrowed money from several drivers and never pays them back. Recently it has gotten so bad that one of the drivers refused to continue hauling the load because the dispatcher had texted him that she was unable to pay him back. At that point, to keep business flowing, the company had to repay her loan!

Now that it is affecting business and continues to happen, can we fire this employee? It is really giving our company a bad name and making my life hell, as these drivers keep calling me wanting me to do something. I have seen the text messages she sends them.

You can absolutely tell her that she’s not allowed to continue asking coworkers for money, and fire her if she doesn’t comply. Hell, you could fire her right now without that warning if you want to (no law requires warning people before firing them), but you might want to do her the courtesy of letting her know that she’s jeopardizing her job first, since she may not have understood that this was something she could ever lose her job over. You’re not obligated to do that, certainly, and it might be that her relations with colleagues are now so bad that there’s no way to justify keeping her on, but it’s an option to consider. (It also might increase the chances that she’ll actually pay people back, since it will be much harder to do that without a job.)

But in answer to your direct question of whether you can fire her: Yes, you legally can.

5. Will working for my dad cause an issue in a background check?

After I graduated from university, I took a gap year off and went to travel and take classes that I wasn’t able to commit to when I was an undergrad. I also spent a hefty amount of time doing administrative work for my dad, who is in the process of retiring and selling his business. Now that the transition for his business is settling down, I’ve been actively seeking for job opportunities.

I listed my role at my dad’s business on my resume, and I also mentioned that the role was under my dad’s supervision during the interview. I made it clear that it wasn’t an official job, as my dad paid me back by sponsoring my travel expenses and also on my class tuition. I’m just a little worried that they may not find any supporting documents or proof of my employment if they were to do a background check on me, as my dad just paid for my travel expenses as compensation for the work I did and I obviously have no pay stubs.

While I’ve made it clear how things were while working for my dad, I’m still a little paranoid that they might not hire me if they can not find enough evidence about my employment. Is this something I should worry about? Should I remind my manager about my unofficial employment at my dad’s place when she asks me to sign an agreement for background checks?

I wouldn’t worry too much about this; you’ve already made it clear what the deal was. The only thing that could be an issue if if the background checker will be calling anyone other than your dad to verify that job. Does he have a staff and an assistant or an HR department that might take those calls? If so, it’ll be crucial to make sure that they’re in the loop so they don’t just say you didn’t work there. But if your dad is the only one who might get the call, that’s likely all the verification they’ll care about. That said, it wouldn’t hurt to remind the hiring manager about the arrangement when they kick off the background check process, just to make sure it hasn’t slipped her mind.