ask the readers: etiquette for the office gym — changing, showering, attire, and other terrifying questions

by Alison Green on February 4, 2016

A reader writes:

Could you share workplace gym etiquette? I work at a relatively small community college that has a gym, locker rooms and workout classes. I routinely see my colleagues and students using the facility and I have started to use it, as well.

Could you share guidelines for changing or showering in front of students/colleagues, appropriate gym attire, and workout activities to avoid? The women’s locker room has individual showers, but the men’s locker room only has a communal shower.

I think you’re better guided by others on this than by me because the idea of standing around naked with colleagues or students fills me with horror, but I know that some people are blasé about it. I’ll throw this out to readers for input.

Read an update to this letter here.

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a round-up of good advice for managing people and projects

by Alison Green on February 4, 2016

I write a bunch of stuff for Intuit QuickBase’s Fast Track blog (which I link to here twice a week). Today I worked with them to create a list of the best Fast Track posts of 2015 — my articles and other people’s too — covering everything from how to tell your team their work isn’t quite good enough to how to get along well with IT to how to set realistic deadlines. You can read it here.

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my coworker cc’s tons of higher-ups whenever he emails me with a problem

by Alison Green on February 4, 2016

A reader writes:

I’m a software developer and often have to work with a lot of internal clients. Most are great, but there’s one guy I’m not sure how to handle.

When something doesn’t work right or I have an issue, my strategy is to deal directly with the person responsible. I only loop in my manager, their manager, or both if I can’t resolve the issue directly with the person responsible Most others at the company are like this. However, when this person has a problem or issue with something I’ve done, he emails my manager, his manager, my manager’s manager, all the way up the chain ON THE FIRST EMAIL. I feel this makes me look like I’m not helpful, which I am. I resolve most issues very quickly.

The last time he sent such an email, it turned out to be the case that he was doing something wrong. I really wanted to hit “reply all” when I told him this, but thought this would make me look unprofessional and I also didn’t want to waste my manager’s time with a small issue. Should I have done “reply all”? Would this make him stop? What’s the best strategy for dealing with someone like this? If I ever have an issue with him, I’ll be tempted to include his manager on the email so he can see what it’s like.

Honestly, I probably would have hit “reply all” in your shoes. He’s the one who pulled other people in — you’re simply letting them know that it’s handled; it’s not your fault that closing the loop in this case happens to include making it clear that he the one doing something wrong. Of course, there’s an argument for being the bigger person and not taking satisfaction in such things. I’m not that bigger person though.

Anyway, this is understandably annoying. By pulling in all these people who don’t need to be cc’d, he’s basically saying “I don’t trust you to handle this on your own and/or I think that people above you need to be aware of the heinous mistake you have committed.”

Of course, before we get too worked up about him, it’s worth asking yourself whether he has any cause for that. If you have a pattern of being unresponsive to him, or if there’s been a pattern of Terrible Errors, it’s possible that he’s justified in cc’ing someone higher up. But I’m betting that’s not the case, because if he were just taking a reasonable action in such a situation, he could just cc your manager or his and be done with it. There’s no reason he’d need to be wildly cc’ing all up the chain of command.

So, assuming that he is in fact not doing this in response to some sort of pattern on your end, your two choices are to (a) ignore it and assume that others on the email chain are rolling their eyes at him too (a pretty good bet), or (b) say something to him, which may or may not be effective. If you choose (b), you could say: “Hey, Fergus, I don’t think we need to cc all these people when it’s a pretty simple matter like X or Y. If you want to just send this stuff to me, I can usually get it fixed.” Alternately, if you have a good relationship with your manager, you could ask her to suggest he cut it out. If she’s willing to say “Fergus, please send these emails directly to Jane and stop cc’ing me and others,” that would probably end it.

But if none of that works, fall back on ignoring it and assuming that others are rolling their eyes too.

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boss said I could have time off as long as it wasn’t for an interview, coworker won’t stop asking me questions, and more

by Alison Green on February 4, 2016

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss said I could have time off as long as it wasn’t for an interview

The company I work for has had a lot of changes recently. We changed corporate companies, and the new company lacks vision and leadership. Furthermore, the general manager, assistant general manager, and even my boss have left the company. I work in HR and I am the only line-level associate in that position. Since my boss left, I have taken on a great deal more work and have worked 10 Saturdays since October.

We finally got a new supervisor into my old boss’s position, but my new boss is very technology challenged. Everything we do is through the computer, and I’m very, very worried. I now struggle to get my work done more than ever because I have to help my boss learn what Google Chrome is, and to explain that you cannot refresh an Excel document in order to update the report we downloaded.

I managed to get an interview at a great company that is willing to pay me $2.50 more an hour. It has great benefits and is even closer to home. However, when I asked my boss if I could have a few hours off one morning this coming week, he said it was okay as long as long as it wasn’t for an interview. I’m very conflicted. I straight-up lied to my boss and said it wasn’t, and now I feel very guilty. I’m worried they’ll figure it and won’t let me have the time off. What can I do in this situation?

Don’t feel guilty. Your boss put you in an unfair position when he said that to you. You risk jeopardizing your job if you say “yes, it’s for an interview.”

You’re not obligated to tell your employer what your time off request is for. It’s fine to simply say that you have an appointment or need to take care of some personal business (both of which are true). But in a case where your boss forces you lie by asking a question that he’s not entitled to know the answer to, that’s on him, not on you.

2. Coworker won’t stop interrupting me with questions

My coworker is becoming a right pain. When her manager resigned, I stepped in to support her as she was new. There are several more experienced colleagues on her team who can answer her questions, but she always comes to me. I have made things crystal clear before but she only seems to be able to get on with her work when she has heard the answer from them and from me. Some are repeat questions. The constant questions eat into my clinical time. I have a job to do too, and I am not her direct manager. I joked with her last week that she had reached her quota of questions for the week, and she got really upset. It is getting to the point where I have had to take a laptop and hide, as my office is hardly safe. I work from different locations to limit my contact with her. Her “quick questions” take at least two hours of my week. The other day, she asked I had time for questions and I said, “No, my schedule is back to back.” She followed up with an email: “Maybe Monday?”

I want her to back off. She has a new manager now as it is, and we are from two completely different reporting lines. Any advice?

Rather than dealing with it instance by instance, I’d address the big picture with her and say something like, “Jane, I was happy to help out when your manager resigned, but now that Lucinda has started, you should go to her with questions. I’m in a busy period and don’t have time to help anymore. Thanks for understanding!”

If she keeps coming to you after that, just cheerfully say, “Sorry, like I said, I can’t keep helping — you should talk to Lucinda.” And really, at that point, you should tell her boss what’s going on, and ask her boss to intervene. You shouldn’t have to be hiding to avoid this.

3. Boss won’t tell me the salary range for my job

I am certain that my current salary is below the minimum range for my position. I cannot verify this because my boss refuses to tell me the range for my position per the salary study recently conducted with a local firm. Can my boss withhold this information? What options do I have for obtaining the new salary range?

Yes, your boss can withhold that information; your company isn’t obligated to share their internal salary bands. Since your boss doesn’t want to share that with you, I’d drop that angle and instead put together a case for why you deserve a raise, based on the market range for your work and your contributions to your company.

4. Cold-emailing for jobs

I am in a bit of a bind in terms of applying for jobs. I know that I will be relocating to a completely new area this summer, because both my husband and I got accepted to transfer to a great university! Needless to say, grants and scholarships won’t come close to covering all of our expenses, and we would like to minimize our loan burden, so I am trying to find a part-time job in my current field. I have my associate’s degree as a paralegal and had been working as such for the last two years; we currently live in a decent sized town that had enough of a legal market to support paralegals. The college we are going to is in a more rural setting in the far-north of California, with a much smaller population. Their local government does not employ paralegals (I had been in government service since graduation). Most of the law firms in the area are small practices – a solo attorney, maybe a partnership of 2-3 lawyers.

I know it’s generally ill-advised to try and apply without any job postings, but… It really appears like most attorneys there have just never had any experience working with a paralegal. Most of my job as such is to free up attorney time, allowing them to take on more clients, or focus better on their client relationships, while I get the “grunt work” (research, writing, keeping opposing counsel in check, etc.) done. There are savings to be passed on to clients (paralegals bill at a rate less than half of their attorneys’ hourly rate), and they can increase their productivity by not having to do everything themselves. Still, I feel uneasy about sending attorneys cover letters essentially telling them how they should run their firm.

Do you think it’s a terrible idea? If not, what cautions should I take with the cover letter, so that I don’t come across as a know-it-all who wants to reinvent the firm?

I’d love to hear lawyers weigh in on this, but speaking as someone outside the field, it sounds like you might have actually identified one of the few times when doing this could make sense. In most cases, for most fields, it doesn’t make sense to invest a lot of time in doing this, but in your particular circumstances — sole proprietors or small partnerships, area where jobs in your field are scarce, services to offer that truly could be valuable — maybe? (But again, lawyers, tell me if I’m way off-base.)

Also, you wouldn’t be telling them how to run their firms; you’d be telling them about what you could offer, and suggesting that you meet to talk further if they’re interested.

5. How to explain a recent promotion on my resume

I’m getting ready to start looking for a new job and wonder how to explain a recent promotion. The promotion came about because I realized that for some time (years, perhaps!), I’ve been taking on more and more additional tasks outside the official scope of my job. Luckily, my boss agreed, but it took six months for the change to go through officially. So my new job is basically my old job plus all the other stuff I was taking on anyway on an ad hoc basis, except now it’s a formal part of my job description.

I’m not sure whether and how to explain this on my resume, because frankly, my “new” job, which just became official on January 1, is what I’ve been doing for a year or more. It’s just that now I have a very slightly better title and a better salary. I guess my question is where to list certain accomplishments–because some things would seem to pertain more to my official new job, but it would look strange to say “Streamlined the quality control process for X over the past year” under a position that I’ve technically had for only a month.

I’d list it this way:

New title, January 2016 – present
Old title, May 2014 – December 2015
* accomplishment
* accomplishment
* accomplishment

In other words, don’t separate out your accomplishments by old title versus new. Since it’s been basically the same job for a while, lump it all in together, and just note the two titles and corresponding dates at the top.

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I’m getting mixed messages about whether I have to work overtime

by Alison Green on February 3, 2016

A reader writes:

I am receiving mixed messages from my manager, and I’d really like it to stop.

When I accepted my current position a year ago, I was very clear that I am a solo parent to an infant and I’m unable to work a lot of overtime. I clearly stated I could do it a few times a year, but not regularly.

I’ve been asked to work the last six Saturdays in a row, which put me in a difficult position with my family situation, but I cheerfully worked those Saturdays and kept my mouth shut, hoping it would not continue. But now, every week around Wednesday or Thursday, my manager sends a coworker to me to ask me to work Saturday because our project is late. It rubs me the wrong way that my manager isn’t asking himself, but that is beside the point.

I emailed my manager and said, “Can you set my expectations on what you’d like from me schedule-wise through the end of the project? I’m specifically looking for information on when I will be needed outside of the standard core hours M-F.” His response was one sentence: “Please make those decision based on your project/team needs.”

Yet I continue to get emails each week from my coworker saying, “You are required to work X hours on Saturday.”

That doesn’t sound up to me. I really can’t work these Saturdays any longer. How can I navigate this? Is it time to move jobs because I can’t meet the schedule?

No, at least not yet. It’s time to go talk to your boss and be clearer about your situation.

It’s very possible that your boss has forgotten the conversation you had about overtime when you were hired a year ago, and it’s not fair to be this frustrated when you haven’t directly told him that these recent overtime expectations are in conflict with what you need and thought you had negotiated. People tend to expect that their managers will remember this kind of thing, but it’s pretty common for managers to forget — not because they’re flakes (although sure, sometimes that’s the reason) but because they’re juggling tons of other things and this isn’t foremost in their minds, especially 12 months later.

So the first thing to do is to remind him. Say this to him: “When you hired me, we agreed that because of my child care situation, I wouldn’t work overtime more than very occasionally — at the time, we said a few times a year but not more. I’ve worked Saturdays for the last six weeks because I know that you’re in a pinch, but I can’t continue to do it. What’s the best way to handle this?”

It’s possible that he’ll realize he forgot that and this will take care of the whole thing.

Or, it’s possible that your boss will say that things have changed since you first came on board, and that you really do need to work these extra hours. If that’s the case, you’ll have a couple of options:

* Agree, but ask for more information. Say something like, “I do want to help as much as I can, but I need to balance that with child care obligations. Can we talk about how long you expect this will be needed, so I can figure out how to manage my schedule? It’s easier for me to accommodate this if I know in advance and/or if I know how long we’ll be in this situation.”

* Decide that you can’t keep doing it, and say that. There’s a risk here that you could be told you either do it or lose your job, but whether that’s likely depends strongly on your standing, your dynamic with your boss, and the culture of your workplace in general. In some offices, this would be likely to get you fired. In many others, it wouldn’t. It’s also possible that there could be smaller consequences (in your raise, assignment, and general standing with your boss and/or your coworkers). You might be fine with that, or you might not — but this is stuff to factor into your thinking.

If you get the sense that this isn’t a short-term situation and is likely to continue for a while and/or crop up again in the future, then yes, it might also make sense to start job searching . But if your sense is that it’s really just a one-time thing that hasn’t been handled well, it might make more sense to just get through this project and see how things go after that.

But have a clearer conversation with your boss before concluding anything.

Read an update to this letter here.

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my employer promised me a raise and better title 3 years ago — and it hasn’t happened yet

by Alison Green on February 3, 2016

A reader writes:

I work for a mid-size nonprofit doing fundraising. I have been here for 3+ years in a position that was a lateral move from my previous job. When I started, I took the same salary as my previous position because it was work I wanted to do, but was promised a raise and better title when it was available. That was three years ago, and I have not received a raise. Several people have been promoted over me, even though my performance reviews are stellar. I expressed my displeasure with this to my boss, but have always been dismissed with, “The opportunity wasn’t right for your (skills, location, etc.).”

Finally, last month, I was approached about running a new project. I was thrilled, as it came with a position bump and talks of a raise at the end of the year. It is, however, a lot more work. When I accepted, it seemed doable. Since getting more detail on the project, the scope has grown. I have done this kind of work before, but with a team of three. This will just be me doing the work of three.

When my boss finally sat me down to explain the exact work I would be doing, she threw in there, “Oh, and your title upgrade hasn’t been approved. You will continue to have your current title,” and then continued on with all the work I would be responsible for implementing. I was so shocked I didn’t respond.

I don’t know what to do. Should I continue with the promotion that isn’t even a promotion any longer? I feel like I have shown this company loyalty for 3 years and have been fooled repeatedly by promises of credit for my work, both in title and money. I am very disheartened.

You can read my answer to this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and often updating/expanding my answers to them).

Also, a note about my articles at Inc.: If you’re outside the U.S. or using an ad blocker, Inc. may ask you to register in order to read more than one article there. That’s because they otherwise aren’t able to earn any revenue from those page views, which they’re of course dependent on in order to continue to exist.

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my coworker announced she’ll only check email twice a week

by Alison Green on February 3, 2016

A reader writes:

Today in a meeting, a colleague announced that she only reads and responds to emails twice a week, on her “email days,” and if there were any immediate issues I would have to go down to her office in person to get a response. Our boss was fine with that, clarifying that emails should be answered within a week. Please, please tell me that this is weird and not how business is usually conducted. What can I say to our boss to convince her that this is not a good policy?

It sounds like your coworker is following a productivity hack that’s been making the rounds for the last couple of years, where you’re supposed to batch process your email only at set times, and ignore it the rest of the time. The thinking is that otherwise email will constantly interrupt you and pull you away from things that are actually higher priorities. Sometimes the advice says to check and deal with email once or twice a day. But there’s a more radical version that says to do it only once or twice a week, and to set up an email auto-responder that lets people know that’s what you’re doing.

Of course, the key for people doing this is to make sure that the interval they choose is practical for the sorts of emails they usually receive. If you run your own business and are your own boss, you can check email once a week if you feel like it, as long as you’re okay with your clients’ reaction to this. If you’re very in demand, your clients might be perfectly willing to put up with that. On the other hand, if you don’t work for yourself and you’re, say, an assistant working for busy people who need you to see their messages quickly, this probably isn’t going to work.

In your coworker’s case, it sounds like your boss is fine with her plan. There are a few possible reasons for that: Your boss might want your coworker focused on Important Priorities A and B, has made the calculation that email is interfering with her ability to do that, and has judged that the inconvenience to others is trumped by the importance of A and B. Or, she could be an email hater who thinks most things should be done face-to-face, and thus considers this an awesome plan that everyone else should adopt too. Or maybe she’s a pushover who’s just going along with your coworker without doing any critical thinking about the ramifications. Who knows — but you know your boss and probably have some idea of which of these rings more true.

In any case, if you rely on being able to email your coworker fairly regularly and need to know that she’ll see or take action reasonably quickly, then you have standing to express those concerns. You could point out (if this is accurate in your case) that it will take up much more of your time to have to track her down in person, find a time when she’s not busy, and talk in person about things that previously could be handled at both of your convenience with a 30-second email. You could also point out specific examples of work that will be negatively affected by this new policy. And if you think that people are likely to start coming to you or others for things they used to go to her about (since they’ll know they’ll have a longer wait with her), you should point that out too.

I’d start by talking to your coworker about this, but if she’s unmoved, it’s reasonable to share your concerns with your boss. She may be receptive to hearing this and may alter her stance. Or she might not. But it’s a reasonable concern to raise and see what happens.

For what it’s worth, I think “emails should be answered within a week” is an unusually long timeframe, but it also depends on the type of work you and your coworker do. There are some contexts where that really would be fine, most of the time. There are far more contexts where it definitely wouldn’t be — but what really matters are the specifics of your and your coworker’s work, so I’d try to look at it through that lens before you do anything else. It’s possible that your coworker actually is one of the (relatively small number of) people where this could make sense. If that’s the case, I’d try to give her the benefit of the doubt for now and see how this goes. If it does turn out to cause problems, you can always raise it in a few weeks … at which point your argument might be more effective anyway, since then you’ll have real-life data to point to about problems it’s caused.

P.S. Now I really want you to announce that you will only be taking in-person conversations twice a week, on your “in-person days.”

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coworker won’t say please and thank you, telling someone’s boss they were speeding, and more

by Alison Green on February 3, 2016

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Brusque coworker won’t say please and thank you

I’ve been at my position for about three years now. While my title is similar to department assistant, my actual responsibilities are less administrative and more systems related. I’ve been transitioning to higher level responsibilities, and my boss and I will be having a talk soon about a title change.

My coworker has been at her job for about 1.5 years. While she is technically “above” me, we report to different managers and she doesn’t supervise me. We do need to interact somewhat daily on various things (feedback on issues that might pop up, new orders to put in, etc.). My issue is that she never says “please” or “thank you.” She can be abrasive and abrupt, constantly interrupting not just me but other coworkers with stream of consciousness-type thoughts about work issues. While she does do it with other people, it doesn’t seem as though she’s as abrasive and short as when she does it with me. Possibly because they’re on the same level? It feels like I’m a check box and she’s just checking off something on her to do list.

Most of my coworkers in my department (95%) are really, really good about saying “please” and “thank you” when giving me information about processing information into our system. While they are technically giving me assignments, it doesn’t feel that way and feels like we’re teammates.

I don’t want to chase her down and ask, “Why don’t you say please and thank you?” because it’s more of a feeling of being lesser than just saying two phrases. I’m also not wanting her to make small talk just for the sake of small talk! In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t a big deal, but I feel the need to say something to her. Do you have some scripts on what to say after something like this happens again?

I’d actually just try to let it go. You don’t really have standing to ask her to be less brusque (that’s more something her manager could ask her to do), and — rightly or wrongly — I think you’re going to come across as overly high maintenance if you ask for please and thank you. Yes, she should be saying them, but she’s not. I think you’ll get faster and better results by trying not to let it bother you than by getting into this with her.

If her behavior were more severe — if she was being hostile or abusive — that would be worth tackling. But this is just someone who tends to be short when she talks with you. I’d just write it off as her way, internally roll your eyes if you want, and not expend your own capital on it.

2. Is it reasonable to tell someone’s boss that they were speeding?

I am writing about something that happened a few years ago, but I always have wondered how i should have handled it. I was working for state government, and driving my personal car during work hours from one state facility to another, on a day that I was a part of a group being given tours of the facilities. When I arrived, one of the others on the tour (not from my office, from another branch of government) told me that he saw me going really fast on the expressway, and asked if I was driving a state car. I told him I was not. Then he told me that he was going to call the director of my agency and tell him that he saw me speeding. I just gave him a look. But how should I have responded? And he never called my director. But would that have been appropriate? Years later, I still feel like the whole exchange was ridiculous, but maybe he was in the right?

He was out of line. If you were driving recklessly (like going at a really high rate of speed, not just 10 miles over the speed limit), I do think he has standing — as a fellow member of the public who uses the roads — to say something like, “Hey, you passed me on the way here and I was concerned about how unsafely you seemed to be driving. Is everything okay?” But the way he handled it was obnoxious.

Also: Threatening to call the director of your agency? As in, a person who probably manages a huge organization that probably has hundreds, thousands, or (depending on the branch of government) tens of thousands of employees or more? He needs to formulate his threats better if he wants them to be convincing.

3. New accountant says I’m not eligible for a bonus

I have been employed at my current workplace for almost 4.5 years now. For the first four years, I was a part-time student. started in the back as a warehouse general laborer and received several promotions. Fast forward to now, I have graduated university and got put on salary for the past six months as the senior purchaser and inventory analyst.

I have always felt my commitment and work ethic here has been much appreciated, as shown by promotions and responsibility increases. Every year since I began here, I received a very generous bonus, which was given around Christmas. This year, the program switched to a set value based on full-time salary years worked. I was always one of the only part-time employees in the company, but they kept me on due to my work ethic and commitment (as voiced to me by the president). The old head accountant had always known my situation and had my bonus handled accordingly. This year we got a new accountant and a new bonus program.

I was asking the new head accountant about health benefit payments and deductions, and the new retention program got mentioned. He voiced that since I have only been employed full-time for six months, I will receive nothing. This upsets me because I have been with the company 4.5 years and shown my commitment, and will receive nothing, whereas the new guy who has been here for one year plus a month will be receiving an “employee retention” payment of $1,200 (the new system sets rates that can be viewed by all employees). I have a very good relation with both the owner and the president of the company and would like to bring it up to them, but am unsure how.

Say this: “Fergus mentioned to me that I won’t receive a bonus this year since I’ve only been full-time for six months. I wanted to check with you if that’s correct, since I’ve received them for the last four years and was hoping to be eligible again this year.”

Read an update to this letter here.

4. Negotiating a higher wage when traveling as a nanny

I’m relatively new to a position working with a lovely family. I’m primarily the nanny to their two small children but also handle some administrative tasks. This family travels a great deal for business, sometimes relocating to another city or even country for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months at a time. As it’s been explained to me, these trips are fairly sporadic and come up without much notice. I’m not contracted, and as we discussed in the interview process, I’m not required to accompany the family if travel comes up; it’s something we’ll discuss if the time comes. For background, they didn’t travel at all last year, but made a few multi-week trips the year prior and hired locals to fill my current role, but they really like me so far (I’m fantastic at this job, I must say) and have expressed interest in me traveling with them.

Here’s my question: I’m paid hourly. I make a fairly decent wage, although other families in this wealthy neighborhood of our major city pay as much or more than I currently make, and I regret having low-balled myself when they first asked for my hourly rate. That’s on me, and it’s not really the issue.

I don’t look forward to traveling with the family, although I really like them and the job, but for financial reasons, I think I would have to take this work if they offered it. Assuming they would pay for travel and lodging (in the past they have rented houses, and I would be given a private room), can I ask for a higher hourly wage during travel? Despite having travel costs covered, this would be a major inconvenience and not enjoyable for me, as I really value my privacy and don’t relish the idea of uprooting my life for any period longer than a week or two. (I’m also not allowed to sublet my apartment while gone, by the way.) How much of a wage increase would be appropriate to ask for, if any? And how do I phrase this? I want to be ready with a response if this issue comes up, as I’m typically a people pleaser and I’m afraid I’ll agree to any arrangement they offer if put on the spot.

I think it’s totally reasonable to ask for a higher travel wage, given the disruption to your life during the time you’d be away. I don’t know what would be reasonable to ask for since I don’t know your field, but I bet you could get good data from other nannies or from nanny agencies. (Frankly, you could even ask them what they’ve paid in the past — “Did you pay a different travel wage with nannies in the past?”) You also probably should ask for more compensation for going away for a few months than for a week, since one is far more disruptive than the other.

Once you know what would make it worth it to you, I’d say it this way: “To make it financially feasible for me to be away that long, I think I’d need a travel wage of $X for the trip. Would that work on your end?”

5. Employer wants receptionist to suddenly start watering plants

For the past 10 years, our firm has had building maintenance or janitorial service people care for the watering of eight large planters, which are in the reception area of our company. Due to internal management issues, this service is no longer being carried out, and the responsibility is being placed on the receptionist to both care for and water all these large plants. This requires lugging water from a distance at least 5-7 trips, when answering the telephone, receiving visitors, and other administrational duties are a priority.

Is the receptionist legally obligated to perform this large task when it was never stipulated upon employment that this was part of the job?

Well, there’s no law in play here. Her employer has the legal right to assign her new responsibilities, even if it’s outside of her job description. She in turn has the right to push back and advocate for a different plan, or to decide that she no longer wants the job under these new conditions. No law prohibits either part of this exchange.  In other words, the employer can require what it’s requiring, the receptionist can say “hmmm, can we work out a different plan because of ___?” and from there it’s up to them to see what, if anything, they can work out.

It sounds like you’re thinking there that might be some law that says your employer can’t assign you work outside of the job you were hired for, but there isn’t such a law. It’s pretty common for jobs and responsibilities to evolve — but a good employer will be receptive to at least talking over concerns about that (and certainly “this is keeping me from answering calls” is a legitimate thing to raise).

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I bombed a weird interview after no sleep

by Alison Green on February 2, 2016

A reader writes:

Approximately a month ago, I applied for a position and was scheduled for an interview with an organization’s HR manager. I had apparently done well on the pre-employement aptitude tests and interviewed well with her. She was great and two hours passed quickly.

Following this interview, I was asked to come in and meet with two other people on the team a week later. One interview was an hour and a half long and the second around 30 minutes. I was also extremely impressed with these two people and apparently they liked me too, since I was asked in for a fourth and final interview with the owner the following week.

I received a very polite email from the owner with a list of over 60 questions in an attached document. The email said to pick 10 and he would only ask those questions from the list. Given how laid back the other interviewers were, I pushed away the thought that this was a test. I spent the evening choosing and preparing answers for the upcoming morning interview.

I really wanted this job, so it is no surprise that I couldn’t sleep for more than two hours. I have only had part-time hours recently, so I normally get a good 8-9 hours of sleep every night.

My brain could not function! I even passed the exit on the drive in, even though I knew the area.

When I sat down, I was informed that he didn’t really plan on asking the questions he emailed, but was more interested in which questions I would choose. We talked for a while and things seemed to be going great, but occasionally I wouldn’t communicate clearly or fumble my answers to his questions, etc. I don’t remember what prompted some of these statements due to lack of sleep, but at one point he said “it sounds like you want me to micromanage you,” and later he said “I’m concerned you will crack under pressure.”

I explained how I had not been able to sleep the night before and apologized that I wasn’t myself. He said he would be choosing between me and one other candidate but again said I seemed to “crack under pressure” and that if I wanted to I could come in the following day once I’ve had some sleep and show him I’m a “tiger.”

I followed up with a thank-you letter afterwards and asked if he could explain further his concerns, but he never responded. I suppose I’ll wait this one out and just hope that if it’s meant to happen, it will! If you have any advice on anything further, I would definitely appreciate it!

Well, the owner sounds like a bit of an ass, you know. You’re focusing on blaming yourself because of the lack of sleep, but please don’t overlook the fact that his behavior was weird and a little rude.

It’s pretty inconsiderate to tell a job candidate “pick 10 questions and I’ll only ask those,” let the person spend possibly hours preparing for those 10 questions (if you’re conscientious, which it sounds like you are), and then say “ha ha, only joking — that was all wasted time, and the whole thing was a trick question.” It doesn’t say anything good about him. It says that (a) he’s inconsiderate, (b) he’s poor enough at hiring that he doesn’t realize that “I’ll limit myself to 10 questions that you pick” says “I’m a bad interviewer,” and (c) he’s not terribly concerned about what you will think of him, which is often a hallmark of people who are unpleasant to work for.

Now, if you’ve otherwise liked what you’ve seen from this company — and if you’ve been rigorous about doing due diligence and exploring whether you really want to work there — it’s possible that this guy just isn’t a great interviewer, who knows. But I’d take this as a sign to dig around a bit more about what it’s like to work for him (if in fact you’d be spending much time working with/for him).

That said … I’m not sure this job is still in play. It sounds like he told you that he had concerns but that you could come back the following day when you were better rested to try again. (Or, to be more precise, to show that you’re a “tiger” — I”m trying hard not to make fun of that because I know some perfectly lovely people talk that way, but oh it is against all I stand for.) But it doesn’t sound like you took him up on that, so he may be figuring that he gave you another opportunity, you didn’t use it, and that’s that.

I know you did email him and ask him more about his concerns, but I’d bet that someone who says “come back tomorrow and show me that you’re a tiger” wants to see you actually come back, not send an email later on.

It might be a case where you need to write it off to an unlucky combination of lack of sleep, a weird interviewer, and a misunderstanding about next steps. But if that doesn’t resonate with you and your sense of the whole thing is that you’re still in the running, you could email your contact there (not him), explain that you’re kicking yourself for not realizing that his offer to come back in was sincere, and ask if it would be helpful to set up another conversation now.

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how to improve transparency on your team

by Alison Green on February 2, 2016

People often think of “transparency” as being something that happens (or doesn’t happen) at the very top levels of a company, such as transparency with shareholders, the media, or the public. But transparency is also important for individual managers at the team level, because it will lead to better decision-making, better collaboration, and a great sense of ownership throughout your team.

Creating a culture of transparency isn’t that hard, if you’re committed to doing it. Here are five key places to start.

1. Explain your decisions. As the boss, you can sometimes get away with not explaining your decisions – but you should do it anyway. When you explain the “why” behind assignments, policies, and other decisions, you’ll get more buy-in because people will understand where you’re coming from and will have the benefit of hearing your perspective, and people who feel that you respect them are more likely to respect you in return. Give people a chance to ask questions and have a real back-and-forth about decisions, and don’t get annoyed when people question you.

2. Invite input. Transparency isn’t just about sharing information; it’s also about giving people a chance to have a real dialogue with you. That means giving people opportunities to give meaningful input into the big decisions that you’re grappling with, and engaging with them in a real way when they do, by asking questions back to them, explaining where you disagree and why, and giving them a chance to consider and respond to that.

3. Don’t shoot the messenger or punish people for delivering bad news. There’s no faster way to train your staff to hide problems from you or wait to inform you until the last minute than punishing the bearers of bad news. If you want people to be open with you about challenges, obstacles, or outright bad news (from an angry client to signs that a big deadline might be missed), you’ve got to make them feel safe coming to you early. The way you do that is to be calm when you hear bad news, not react angrily or negatively, and make a point of thanking people when they’re candid with you, even when it’s something you didn’t want to hear.

4. Talk openly about mistakes. When a project doesn’t go as planned, be open about it, and talk about what didn’t work and why. It can be difficult to admit failure, but keeping employees in the loop will actually increase most people’s confidence in your leadership, and their confidence that they’ll know if something goes wrong in the future (rather than having to worry that they might be left out of important information).

Too often, when things go wrong, managers try to control what information gets out, but it usually backfires because employees can tell they’re being left in the dark, and that tends to make people more alarmed. Plus, people will usually start filling in the blanks on their own, and they either won’t get the facts quite right or it will get discussed without the sense of perspective that could have been added if the situation had been addressed more openly. If you’re open with people about what’s going on, you can probably avoid the worst of that and often build good will.

5. Let your team see you being transparent with your own boss. Your team will take cues from you, so if they see you modeling open, candid communication with people above you, they’re likely to pick up those habits themselves.

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