Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. The person I helped hire confessed to me that she lied about her skills

I received a full capital sponsorship to start my own business. When I resigned from my job, my boss was very upset, as it is hard to find people with my skill set. I suggested to my former boss that they could outsource to me, which they are now doing.

One day, my former boss called me up and asked me to sit into an interview with a potential replacement for my position. I told him it would be a conflict of interest as I would lose them as a client. He promised me that they would never break their contract with me, but I was not convinced.

We interviewed the person, and in order to not sound jealous and to give her a fair chance, I said nothing bad about her and I was supportive of their decision to give her a 3-month fixed contract. Today, she confessed to me that in the interview, she lied about having skills that she doesn’t actually have. She told me that she should have been more forward in her interview, but she has never built a website from scratch before in her life. I don’t know how to respond to this because if I run to the client and tell him, it would look like I am being spiteful, not to mention that I would put a single mom out of a job. If I don’t and it comes out that I did not, they might lose trust in me and it may come back to kick me in the bum. How do I deal with this situation?

I think you’re being overly zealous about possible conflicts of interest and as a result are anticipating weirdness in your relationship with your client/former employer that just isn’t likely to be there. It’s okay to help them with interviews, and it’s okay — in fact, necessary — to speak up about concerns that you develop about candidates during those interviews. Assuming that you have a track record of integrity and that you can explain where your opinions are coming from, no reasonable client is going to think that you’re being jealous or spiteful. And the same is true now if you relay what their new hire said to you, especially if you’ve continued to do work for them, which it sounds like you have.

You don’t have to go on a witch hunt against her; you can simply say to your client, “Hey, Jane mentioned to me yesterday that she exaggerated her skills in the interview in order to get the job and she’s never actual built a website before. You should probably talk to her yourself, but assuming that’s right, I think the ramifications of this for the work are ___.”

You won’t be putting a single mom out of a job. You’ll be doing your job, which is to be a fair dealer and share information that will affect your client. If she loses her job because she misrepresented her skills, that’s an outcome she created for herself; it won’t be your doing.

2. I’m managing my boss’s spouse

I work for a nonprofit that has a staff of 25. There are 3 levels – the CEO, the VPs, and the rest of the staff. I am a VP who is managing a staff member (Bob) who is the partner (same-sex couple) of the VP/CFO (Tony, a very tenured staffer of over 15 years). Bob is a toxic employee who is constantly negative, demoralizes other staff, and points fingers at everyone rather than being a team player. Prior to my promotion to VP, I was on the same level as Bob and we worked fairly well together. Once I became a VP, that quickly changed. Bob cursed at me on several occasions, slammed a door in my face, and has basically said (in much nastier terms) that I had no idea what I was doing. As a newly appointed VP, I learned that in the prior eight years Bob was on staff, he was allowed to do as he pleased, when and how he pleased, basically unchecked. Tony is blissfully unaware of this because the previous VPs would never discuss it with him.

Bob is dragging down the morale and undermining the culture change we are working toward. He refuses to use our interoffice chat and online project management system, despite other staff and teams using it. He is not a team player and is consuming salary dollars (how much I don’t know, as Tony won’t disclose it to me) that could be utilized better. We have no formal write-up procedure in place, but I have made it my mission to confront him head on and let him know his behavior is unacceptable. I’ve also started a journal of it and our discussions.

The bottom line is that Bob needs to go. Tony does not hold his own team accountable so his leadership and accountability style is lacking to say the least. Any suggestion on how I can help Bob move on? Oh, and Tony is currently serving as the interim CEO too.

The only path to an outcome where you can get rid of Bob goes straight through Tony, at least as long as he’s CEO and/or your boss. If previously VPs refused to fill Tony in on what was going on, it’s no surprise that he’s unaware. So: are you going to be the person who finally says something? If you want to address the situation, it sounds like you’ll need to. Whether or not you should depends on your own standing, how reasonable or unreasonable Tony is, and how much risk you’re willing to take.

If at some point, Tony stops being interim CEO, you could possibly take up the situation with the new CEO (or HR, but on a staff of 25, I’m betting you don’t have an HR person, or at least not one with significant power — although if the organization has an influential second-in-command, that person could be an option).

For what it’s worth, it’s pretty awful that your organization apparently allows romantic partners within a chain of command, but I’ll save my rant on that for a different letter coming later today.

3. Employee was accidentally terminated in our system and now has to apply for job all over again

I supervise the tutors at my college and one tutor was recently terminated accidentally due to miscommunication among departments. Our new HR rep contacted my supervisor with a list of employees that had not received a paycheck for six months. My supervisor responded to terminate those employees. Neither the HR person nor my supervisor ever asked my input about this employee’s status. If they had, I would have requested they keep the employee as they are still an active student and a willing tutor; they just had not received any requests for work in a while.

As “luck” would have it, the employee in question had two tutoring sessions just as they were being terminated. I was never informed of their termination status so I did not hesitate in requesting their assistance. It was not until I went to approve electronic timecards did I notice the employee was no longer listed under my profile. I then contacted HR and was informed of why they were terminated.

I have been informed that the tutor will have to go through the entire re-hire process (application, background check, drug test, on-boarding) in order to be re-instated as an employee and receive a paycheck for the hours worked. My question is – is this legal? How are there no provisions made in the company’s policy to re-instate employees that were terminated in such a manner?

It should be perfectly legal as long as the person is still being paid in the timeframe required by your state law (state laws usually require people to be paid within a certain number of days after performing work). However, if you work for a public university, even that might not apply, since public employees are sometimes covered by different laws.

That said, it’s ridiculous and incompetent, and they should be able to fix it more efficiently.

4. Can I use a new offer to get more money from the job I’ve already accepted?

I’ve accepted a job in one city. It was a great offer, and during negotiation they offered an increased annual salary instead of relocation. I had asked for one or the other. I knew another offer was coming for another city, but it had been taking a while as there are more hoops to jump through and it’s never guaranteed, so I accepted offer #1. Well, now offer #2 has come in, and the salary is $5,000 less but they’re offering me a $5,00 signing bonus, $5,000 relocation, and a bonus structure. I technically want the first job more as I’d rather move to that city, but that $10,000 at the start would be very helpful as I’m moving from another country. Can I use offer #2 to get more out of offer #1? Even though I technically already accepted? I am considering backing out of offer #1 now I know what the money for #2 is. What could I say to #1 without seeming like I’m not still excited to work there?

Nothing. You accepted the offer, and the negotiations are over. If you try to open them back up, that will look like serious bad faith, and there’s a very good chance they’ll pull the offer entirely. (After all, how would you feel if you turned down other offers and the one that you’d accepted tried to lower the salary you’d agreed on?)

You can pull your acceptance of the offer if you want to, but you can’t try to reopen the negotiations.

As for whether you should pull your acceptance, (a) be aware that it will burn the bridge — which might be a price you’re willing to pay, but you should factor it into your thinking, and (b) think seriously about whether a one-time $10,000 payment is enough to warrant moving a city that isn’t your first choice, unless you’re very excited about the second choice city too and the job itself. $10,000 (or $5,000 after moving expenses) is a pretty low payment for a city you don’t want to be in.

Read an update to this letter here.

5. Explaining why I’m moving, when the reason is the Flint water crisis

I’ve been wanting to leave my job for a while because the company is a mess, but circumstances in the area have changed so that I’m now even more desperate to leave.

See, I work in Flint, Michigan. If you’ve been reading the news at all lately, you know that Flint has serious water issues, chief among them being extremely unsafe levels of lead. I feel now more than ever that I need to leave, and soon. I have no personal ties to Flint; I didn’t grow up there, and I have no family here, so I don’t feel compelled to stay and stick out this crisis like some other people do.

My issue is this: how do I say that on job applications? Do I state that the water crisis is my reason for leaving, or is there a more diplomatic way to say it? I’ve never been in a situation like this before, where environmental factors are at play in my reason for leaving, so I’m not sure how to handle it.

I think you’re better off talking about why you want to move to the place you’d be moving to, rather than why you want to leave the place you’re leaving. People will probably figure that the water situation isn’t exactly helping matters, but mainly they’ll be concerned with what’s drawing you to THEIR area (because they want to know that you’ve fully thought through the choice, won’t regret in six months in, etc.).

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employee wants her husband to hang out in our office for hours every day

I have a coworker who lives a good distance away from the office (a 1.5 hour commute), and as a result, she carpools with her husband to and from work each day. Her husband was recently laid off, but is still driving her to and from work each day. My coworker is now requesting that he be allowed to “hang out” in the office for a couple hours in the morning in order to allow time for traffic to die down, so his return trip home is not as difficult. This would apparently include afternoons, as well, in that he would arrive early and stay in the office until they are ready to depart for home.

We are a relatively small office of 6-7 employees, so his presence would not go unnoticed. While I don’t believe he would cause too much distraction, I don’t feel it’s appropriate for non-staff individuals to occupy a spot in the office during business hours on a fairly consistent basis (until he finds a new job? that could well be months). I’m worried it would also set a precedent for others in the office, should they too wish to have a spouse, relative, or friend come into the office for extended periods. I’m not unsympathetic to the commuting aspect they both endure, but I don’t feel the company is responsible for providing them a place to hang out; surely he can spend his time at a local coffee house, bookstore, or restaurant versus in the office of company he’s not employed at? Am I being too harsh in this opinion?

Nope, I think you’re being totally reasonable. Having an employee’s spouse hang out in the office every day for three or four hours (!) would be pretty weird and likely to be a distraction. It’s entirely reasonable for your company to say, “Sorry, we’re not set up to accommodate that, but hopefully he can find a bookstore or coffee shop nearby.”

Read an update to this letter here.

2. Can I use my work laptop to job search during non-work hours?

I don’t currently have a personal laptop. Mine died after college, and since then I’ve always had company-issued laptops, and iPads and whatnot have covered anything I need for personal use. I’m getting ready to job hunt, and I’m wondering if it would be a major risk to try job searching (including saving and submitting cover letters and resumes) on my work laptop, as long as I’m doing it at home and outside of work hours. If it makes any difference, I work for a nonprofit and I doubt they will check up on it, but I feel like that’s not the point. I really have no reason to buy a personal laptop.

Don’t do it. First, it’s possible that they will somehow come across your job search materials saved there. If they do, they won’t know that you only used it for job searching during non-work hours, and it’s going to look terrible. It’s the kind of thing that would instantly impact people’s assessment of your professionalism and judgment. Why risk that?

Second, using your employer’s resources to facilitate a search for work somewhere else is just a tacky thing to do. You’re basically using their property to subsidize your job search. You may not have had a reason to buy a laptop before, but it sounds like now you do (or you could use libraries, etc.).

3. My boss keeps telling people “we share one brain”

My boss constantly says to both me and our entire organization that “we (she and I) share one brain.” While I understand that she thinks she is complimenting me, I find it somewhat demeaning. I have my own brain, and I use it frequently to create successful strategies to acquire new business and retain those who currently support us. In fact, a vast majority of the time, my strategies, plans and tactics are utilized for our department with great success, but again she tells everyone that while I created the strategy, she was thinking the exact same thing since we “share one brain.”

I feel like she will be very hurt if I ask her not to mention the “one brain” thing again, but I’d also like to forge my own identity and demonstrate my skills. How should I approach this issue?

Honestly, I’d try to just let it go if you can. It’s unlikely that any of your coworkers actually think you share one brain, and it’s probably clear to anyone who works with you closely that you’re generating plenty of ideas and strategies from your single-occupancy brain. It’s unlikely her “one brain” comments are landing in a way that would be at all harmful to you, whereas asking her to cut this out comes with the risk of landing poorly with her.

That said, if you’re committed to addressing it, I’d say, “I’d be honored to share a brain with you, Jane, but that expression actually drives me batty.” Or, if you want more substance in your objection, you could say: “I really appreciate that we’re so frequently on the same page, but I worry that saying we share a brain ends up inadvertently minimizing the work I do, especially to people who don’t work closely with me. It’s probably silly, but it’s on my mind so I wanted to mention it.” You could leave off that last sentence if it annoys you on principle, but that kind of thing can make awkward messages easier for people to receive.

4. My references don’t actually know much about my work

I have been reading your blog for months, and I credit it for getting me to the final round of my dream job. My dream job wanted three references who were/are direct supervisors. The thing is that I am an attorney who has worked at the same firm for nearly 10 years. I only have two actual supervisors, and really very little oversight. My bosses are busy, and one tends to only get involved in my work if there is an issue, which luckily is very rare in my case.

Anyway, I provided these two people as requested and for a third reference provided a very senior coworker who actually is familiar with my work, probably more so than my supervisors. I explained that the senior coworker was not technically my supervisor but is familiar with my work.

My bosses were both contacted, and my coworker was not. The HR person called me yesterday because she had an additional question for one of my bosses that she forgot to ask and he wasn’t returning her call. I gave my boss her phone number. My boss came to see me afterwards and said the HR person wanted to know about my analytical abilities and writing capabilities. He told her he didn’t really know and referred her to my other boss.

Both of these skills are critical for the job I am seeking. I am pretty shaken up, and I do not know what to do. My boss is probably being honest, as he has never read anything I have written, but I think he should have some idea if I have good analytical skills. If the job had asked simply for references, I would have provided coworkers who are actually familiar with my work and not even listed my bosses. And it was a huge deal for me to tell my bosses I am considering leaving and even ask for the reference in the first place. Should I contact the HR person and offer to provide more references? Is there any way I can correct this situation and avoid losing my prospective job? I have been actively seeking a job for two years, and this job is the closest I have come.

Yes, contact the HR person, explain again that your two current managers don’t interact much with your work, and offer to connect her to people who can.

It’s really normal for employers to only want to speak with managers as references, because generally managers are better positioned to really evaluate your work. In this case, though, that’s apparently not true — so just explain again and offer some ways that she can get the information she needs.

5. Rescheduling an interview because of a death in the family

I’m in the second round of interviews for a company that I really want to work for and for a job that would be an awesome opportunity to step into my career of choice. The company took the available times that I sent them and then gave me an interview time and date, which I confirmed. However, my great-grandmother passed away yesterday and I was notified this afternoon that the service will be held on the same day as the interview (the service is in my hometown, and I live two hours away in another state). I want to be with my family, but I’m afraid it’ll affect my chances of getting the job. What’s the best way to approach this?

This stuff happens. Email them right away and say that you’ve had a death in the family and the funeral is scheduled in X city for the same day as your interview, and ask if it’s possible to reschedule.

The majority of employers will be totally fine with rescheduling. Occasionally, you might encounter an employer who resists — possibly because they have legitimate scheduling constraints (for example, interviewers only all in town on that day), which they should explain, or because they’re overly rigid or just not that into you — but you if that happens, you can cross that bridge when you get to it. Most of the time, though, it’ll be fine.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Boss confiscates food gifts meant for others

We have outside acquaintances that we work with, who gift us with goodies to share amongst myself and staff members. However, my boss takes the goodies and hides them from us. When we bring it to her attention as to where they are, she tell us to get our own stuff (like the coffee pods) and that we don’t need to eat the sweets (her excuse-we’ve had plenty of goodies bestowed to us around the holidays). This is by far the most ludicrous and insane issue I’ve dealt with pertaining to my boss’s behavior, but I honestly I would like your opinion upon handling this matter.

Your boss is an ass — both in regard to the hiding stuff away so no one else can have it and in regard to telling you that you don’t need the sweets.

You could tell her as a group that she’s demoralizing your whole staff by taking gifts clearly meant for all of you. But if no one is willing to do that — or if you do it and she doesn’t care — then at that point, you’d need to accept that this what she does and it’s part of the package of working with her. (If you feel strongly that must do more, there are some other suggestions in the comments on this thread about dealing with a similar situation … but really, at that point, let it go.)

2. Applying for my old job at my old company

Several years ago, I had a job at Company A in City A. I was in that job for 2.5 years, and it was a terribly toxic environment but I absolutely loved the city I was in.

I ended up leaving Company A (on good terms) for a series of higher-responsibility jobs, all in different cities, but I found I really don’t care about moving up the ladder and I still really miss City A.

It’s been eight years since I left, and I see my old position is open again. I don’t love what I do, but I would gladly do it in order to get back to City A. The staff has turned over since my time there, so as far as I’m concerned it would be like a new position at a new company. How can I convey that in my cover letter?

I would strongly, strongly recommend that you not head back to a “terribly toxic” workplace. There are other jobs in City A — apply for those.

But if you’re committed to doing this, I’d apply, note in your cover letter that you worked there in X role during Y years, and then send a note to the hiring manager (the person you’d report to if you got the job) saying something like, “I applied through your online system, but since I worked in this role from 2006-2008, I thought I’d reach out to you directly as well.”

3. Can I hold people’s paychecks until they turn in their time sheets?

I’m a business owner, and we require all exempt (salaried) employees to track time. As an ad agency, it’s essential for client billing, profitability analysis, etc. However, very few keep up with it. Can I require time sheets be turned in on certain days, and if not, withhold pay for that pay period? Not dock them or penalize them, just require that time sheets be turned in before payroll can be processed? If they miss the deadline, they need to wait until the next pay period.

In practice, we’d be lenient…a three strike policy. I need some leverage because nagging isn’t working.

Nope. Assuming you’re in the U.S., your state law requires you to pay people within a certain amount of time after the work was performed; you can’t hold people’s checks.

Getting exempt employees to turn in time sheets on time is practically a universal struggle. If it’s super important to keep up with them, your best bet is to put their managers in charge of making it happen and holding them accountable for spot-checking that they’ve been filled out and following up with people when they haven’t been (including “you have to do this today before you leave,” which mostly will work when it’s the direct manager saying it).

But also, look for ways to make the process easier on people — you want them spending their time doing the work, not tracking their time, so while time-tracking can indeed be a must-do, the more you can make the process easy and efficient, the better for everyone.

4. How should I respond to this update from an employer?

I recently had an interview and I thought it went great. They even asked for me to take a personality assessment. They contacted me about a week later, saying they got the assessment and that my personality worked great for the position. They also stated that they are leaning towards a person who has more experience in that field, but that I’m still in the running. Should I try to come up with something to say on how I think I’m the best candidate for the position or should I just take it as they are letting me down slowly?

Well, you can’t really argue that you’re the best candidate for the position since (a) you don’t know what the rest of the candidate pool looks like and (b) that’s a call that only they can make. But it would be fine to say something like, “I really appreciate your candor about where you are in the process. If you do decide it makes sense to talk further, I’d love to.”

(I doubt they’re letting you down slowly. If they were ready to reject you, they could just reject you. I’d take it as face value — they think you’re promising, but someone else may be better, and they’ll keep you posted.)