can you ask to come back to a question later in the interview, and how long can you pause before it seems weird? by Alison Green on January 26, 2016 A reader writes: I recently went on my first interview after obtaining a technical degree. It was unlike any interview I’ve ever been on, and I quickly realized I was not well prepared. The interviewer stated before beginning that if I needed to skip a question to have time to formulate an answer and come back to it later, I could. I took him at his word that it was acceptable, assumed it wouldn’t affect his hiring decision, and skipped two questions to save for the end. Despite him telling me it was okay, do you think I hurt my chances when I skipped questions? If the answer is no, then would it be acceptable to ask to save a question for later during an interview when the interviewer didn’t specifically mention it being ok? Also, I’ve been told that in an interview, it’s acceptable to pause after a question to think of an answer. How long is an acceptable pause before it gets weird? For asking to skip a question and come back to it later, it depends on the question. It’s pretty normal to need a little time to think of an example for some “tell me about a time when…” questions or the sort of brainteaser questions that can be common in technical interviews. But it would seem odd to ask to come back later to a question about, say, the details of a work project or the reason you’re interested in this particular job; it’s generally expected you’re going to be prepared to talk about that kind of thing pretty spontaneously. I also wouldn’t do it more than once or twice — more than that, and you’ll start looking like you have trouble thinking on your feet and that you don’t realize that you’ll be creating that perception or that it would matter. Plus, I’ve got to think it’s going to be tough to be thinking about so many delayed questions while also continuing to answer new ones. All of the above applies whether the interviewer specifically offers to let you come back to a question later or not … although if they don’t, I’d err on the side of being more sparing about it than if they do. As for pausing after a question to think of an answer, it’s definitely okay to pause! Interviewers assume that you’ll need to think a bit about some questions — especially “tell me about a time when…” questions since those require you to search your memory for an example that will work, or questions that require problem-solving. But yes, there’s such a thing as pausing so long that it starts to seem weird. It partly depends on the questions and the rhythm you’ve set up. For a question about your work history or what you’re looking for in your next job or why you left your last job — topics I’d expect you to be pretty fluent in if you’re interviewing — I’d expect you to be answer pretty quickly, without pausing for more than a few seconds. But for questions that require you to search your memory or generally just be thoughtful about something, it’s reasonable to take a little longer. Even there, though, pausing for a minute or two would be pretty long, unless you buy yourself some time by saying something like, “Let me think about this for a minute” or otherwise signaling that, yes, an answer is coming. The best way to think of it is like a normal conversation you might have with a colleague. It’s probably not going to be rapid-fire back-and-forth, but will have natural pauses as you stop to think things over, right? They’re probably not full one- or two-minute pauses, but short ones, and that kind of rhythm is the one you want in an interview too. One exception to this is if your interviewer is asking you to solve a problem or think through a scenario, it makes sense to take longer. In those cases, though, it often makes sense to do some of that thinking out loud, because generally interviewers asking these kinds of questions are as interested in how you’re approaching the problem as they are in your ultimate answer to it. So even there, it’s not minutes of silence. You may also like:can I ask what to expect at a job interview?I flew out for an interview -- and they ended it after one questioncan you ask an interviewer to stop talking so much? { 94 comments }
what’s your time management personality type? by Alison Green on January 26, 2016 If you struggle with time management (and who among us doesn’t?), you probably fall into one of five common styles. If you can identify your time management “personality,” it will make it easier to figure out what changes might help you make better user of your time. Take a look at these five types and see if you recognize yourself. 1. Procrastinator. If you often find that you still haven’t started work that you had intended to complete days earlier, or if it’s hard for you to sit down and start a piece of work, or if you often do low-priority work as more important deadlines are looming, you’re probably a procrastinator. Most people procrastinate at least occasionally, but if it’s interfering with your ability to perform at the level you’re capable of and accomplish the things you want to do, it’s time to take action. What to do: Since the hardest part is often just getting started, try working in small chunks. Tell yourself that you’re going to sit down and work on a project for just a small chunk of time – one hour, say, or even just 15 minutes. You may find that it’s easier to keep going once you start. Also, set yourself interim deadlines. Break projects into pieces, and resolve to get one piece done per day or week. 2. Never Say No. If you can’t think of the last time you said no to a request, no matter how far afield from your own priorities, and end up taking on so many commitments that you can’t possibly get it all done without exhausting yourself, this is you. You might think you’re being helpful or a team player, but in your efforts to do everything, you’ll usually end up letting some things slip because you’re simply too overloaded to remember it all, let alone tackle everything. And of course, you can’t do a good job for anyone if you burn out from exhaustion or if you’re so overwhelmed that you can’t meet your commitments. What to do: Make a point of getting clear in your own head about what’s truly important for you to achieve, and how much time it will take you to achieve it. When a new request comes your way, ask yourself whether it’s in line with your top priorities. If it’s not, can you realistically accommodate it without displacing any of your other priorities? And remember that if you say yes to something new, you will be spending less time on something else. Is that a trade-off that’s in your best interests? 3. Fire Fighter. If everything feels like a crisis to you and you spend much of your time putting out fires, leaving you without much time for your biggest priorities, you’re probably a Fire Fighter. What to do: Get very clear on your most important goals. Make a list of what you need to accomplish in order for today to be a success (or this week, or this year). Work on other items only if you finish your must-do’s for today. Also, try setting aside “work blocks” on your calendar to work on your highest priorities, and don’t let yourself schedule over them. 4. Under-estimator. If you usually think you’ve left yourself enough time to complete your to-do list and then are surprised when you end up missing a deadline, this is probably you. We all under-estimate how much time things will take on occasion, but when it has become a pattern in your work, it’s time to revisit your approach. What do to: Assume as a rule that things will take longer than you think they will. Build in a buffer (one that seems much longer than you’ll need), and start earlier than you think you need to, reminding yourself of what your pattern has been. Also, spend some time reviewing how long past assignments took and why, and see if you can find patterns there that can inform your thinking in the future. Easily Distracted. You sit down at your computer to work on a project that’s due later today, but first you just need to check your email. You see a colleague pass by in the hall and jump up to chat. When you get back to your desk, you have three new emails so you spend some time reading and responding. You’re about to return to the project, but … doughnuts are in the kitchen! If you’re easily distracted, you might enjoy handling a wide variety of things at once, but if it means that you’re never quite able to bring the focus that you need to larger projects, it’s time to think about changing your habits. What to do: you know you’re less likely to work straight through a project without interruption, build in extra time when planning out a project. Also, physically block out distractions, like by turning your desk to face the wall rather than the doorway or using noise-canceling headphones to help keep you focused on the task at hand. You might even try working when no one else is around, like by coming in early blocking out time in the evening to do work that requires the most concentration. Originally published at Intuit Quickbase. You may also like:an employee keeps complaining to me about her boss, who I manageI’m still not doing the job I was hired for two years agomy employee meets deadlines ... but is much slower than the rest of us { 57 comments }
my boss says I don’t respond to people quickly, but I do by Alison Green on January 26, 2016 A reader writes: I’ve been having an ongoing issue with my manager. I work in a bookstore, and he is frustrated that I don’t reply quickly enough to authors who will doing speaking events at the store, but I feel that I do. My job is 75% marketing/events and 25% retail. I work from home the majority of the time, but tend to go into the store at least three days a week–usually more. I use my own computer and phone for this job, and have stopped giving out my number due to having past speakers call at unusual times (say, five times on a rare Sunday off, when I’m not really checking my phone) and then contacting my manager to complain that I don’t respond in a timely enough manner (meaning I’m not answering my phone immediately). It’s not like I let these calls drop-I contact the speakers within 24 hours, often before. In fact, I’ve calculated my average response time to be 5 hours (including nights and weekends). Keep in mind that none of these calls were emergencies, just calls to confirm details for an event. Because the speakers call the store when I don’t respond immediately, the calls then get handed over to my boss, who thinks I have an issue responding in a timely manner. I’ve showed him email threads, call logs, anything I can get my hands on to prove that I get back to speakers quickly. He kind of vaguely agrees that I’ve responded quickly enough, and, when I ask him how he would like me to respond quicker, he just goes off on a rant saying that I just *have* to respond more quickly. Somehow. The latest example is a speaker who emailed me around 1 p.m. yesterday. I was bogged down in other work, and flagged it to respond to first thing this morning (around 8 a.m.). Again, no pressing email, just confirming some details. Before I could respond this morning, she calls the store, talks to my boss, and he calls me and sends me an email asking again how to respond more quickly. The worse case of this was a speaker who called me and, when I didn’t pick up, called my boss and then he called me and sent me an email about how disappointed he was in my response time. The time it took from the speaker’s initial call to my response? 25 minutes. Yup. Other examples are me taking comp time for an afternoon (and letting the boss know about it), then waking up to emails the next day asking me if I was alright or sick because I didn’t email him back when he emailed me the afternoon before. I’m fairly frustrated (as you might be able to tell). I can’t be any more responsive without giving up more weekends and nights, which I rarely get off anyway. Any time I ask for concrete improvement ideas from my boss, he’s vague and unhelpful. My fiancee suggested I have an outgoing/signature message to the effect of “I will get back to you within 24 hours; give me time to respond.” I end up checking my email several times a day on my days off, and I don’t get paid enough to work seven days a week (just above minimum wage with no overtime). At this point, I’ve accepted that it’s just par for course at this job — that he thinks flex time means I’m on call all the time — but how can I convince my boss that I’m not slacking? Well, you may not be able to, but I can tell you what would work with a boss who’s reasonable. How your boss responds to this will give us good data on whether he’s reasonable or not. Sit down with him and say this: “You’ve mentioned a few times that you’re concerned that I’m not responding to speakers quickly enough, so I wanted to make sure we’re both on the same page about this. I’m vigilant about responding to all speakers within 24 hours, and it’s usually much less. I took a look at my average response time over the past X months, and I’ve averaged responding within five hours, including on nights and weekends. People sometimes get impatient anyway — I know we had one person who complained when it took me only 25 minutes to get back to them. So I want to make sure that you know how I’m handling this, and see if there’s anything that you want me doing differently. I think an average of five hours is really good, especially since I don’t work 24 hours a day. Does continuing as I’ve been doing sound okay to you?” A reasonable boss will either say yes here, or tell you if there are specific things he wants handled differently (for example, “that sounds fine, but make sure you respond to people in Category X within the same business day; don’t let it go to the next day”). What might happen is that he’ll say that this sounds fine, but then be back to nagging you the next time someone complains. If that happens, say this: “I’m sticking to the system we agreed to, about responding within 24 hours and usually less.” If the message came in during an evening or weekend, add: “This person contacted me at night/on the weekend, but I responded quickly when I was back at work.” Also, you don’t note whether or not you’re ending up working more than 40 hours a week or not (including all that email checking from home), but if you are, you need to start logging that time and getting paid overtime, as the law requires (assuming you’re non-exempt, which it sounds like). And then you can add this in when you talk to your boss: “If you need me to check email and respond to people during off-hours, we’re going to incur overtime costs because it will take me over 40 hours a week. Is that something you want to do?” Alternately, if you don’t want to be doing that, don’t open the door to it — just say, “I’m not able to work more than X hours per week, so people who contact me outside of those hours will end up waiting until I’m back at work, but my email auto-reply lets them know when they’ll hear back from me.” And speaking of an email auto-reply, I’m with your fiancee on thinking that you need to set one up. I wouldn’t say “give me time to respond,” since that’s a little aggressive, but I’d say “I will get back to you within 24 hours.” If you find people don’t pay attention that that, bold it, or add something that seems to speak directly to them (like “if you’re writing to confirm details of a speaking event…”). But ultimately, you can’t make your boss see reason. You can (a) bring the issue to the surface, (b) lay out what you’re doing as clearly as possible, and (c) remind him of that when it comes up again, and that will work with a lot of people, even managers who seemed kind of unreasonable previously … but you can’t make a determinedly unreasonable person be reasonable, so try this and see who he reveals himself to be. You may also like:is it possible to be TOO responsive to an interview invitation?how quickly should I respond to interview invitations?is it ever bad to reply to an email too quickly? { 347 comments }
my manager doesn’t respect my personal space, telling applicants that a job is volunteer, and more by Alison Green on January 26, 2016 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How can I ask my manager to respect my personal space? I started a new job as a trainee a few weeks ago. The room I’m in is me, two managers, and one of the partners in the firm. This is great because at least one person is always available for questions, and I work closely with all three of them. My problem is, one of the managers has no concept of personal space. She’s not reaching out and touching me, and it’s not done in a skeevy way at all – she just seems to want to be in the exact space I’m in when she’s talking to me. If I have a question about some accounts, she’ll come over and basically stand on top of me to look at my papers. This means that about 2-3 times a day, I’m sitting in my desk chair, and she’s standing over me with maybe an inch between her arm and my head, her leg brushing my seat, and so on. She isn’t very concise with her explanations, so it’s not just a couple seconds; it’s 5-10 minutes. And she’s the most enthusiastic about answering my questions! It makes me extremely uncomfortable. Also, I’m distracted by trying not to let her touch me when I should be listening to her explanations, and I think it makes me seem slow on the uptake. I’ve tried scooching away from her, but she just moves closer again. I’ve pointedly brushed her out of the way to reach the documents – totally unnoticed. I’ve said “I can’t actually see what you’re talking about, could you move over” multiple times, but it doesn’t sink in. I don’t want to say “Sorry but I’m weird about this,” because I don’t think it’s a weird request and I don’t want to pretend it is. Also, while it’s happening I’m kind of upset (nearly in tears today, I don’t know why it bothers me so much) and so I don’t trust myself not to be abrupt about it, which would be really bad right in front of the other manager and partner. I think a lot of people would hate this, so I agree it’s not a weird request — although unfortunately it may take her aback because most people wimp out of saying anything in these situations, so she may never have heard it before. Nevertheless, if you want it to stop, you’re going to have to say something. I’d say it this way: “I have a big personal space bubble — sorry! Can I move you over here?” I hear you on not wanting to pretend that it’s weird or anything that you should have to apologize for, but that kind of framing lets her save face and will probably minimize the awkwardness. Alternately, you could try just moving back. when she’s standing over you, move your chair or even get up if you need to. But it doesn’t sound like she’s taking hints, so you probably do need to be more direct. 2. Is it worth getting Microsoft Office certifications? I am currently job searching and am considering completing the Microsoft Office Specialist Certification program to add to the skills section of my resume. Instead of saying the generic “proficient in Microsoft Office,” I’d be able to provide some validity. Is such a certification worth my time and money? How do hiring managers view such certifications? I am college educated with a few years of professional office experience under my belt, so I would say I am familiar with many of the Microsoft applications but I wouldn’t consider myself to be an expert. I’d skip it unless you’re in a field where this is specifically a thing (and I’m not aware of any fields where that’s true, but it’s possible that there are some; to find out if yours is one, you could look at ads for jobs you’re interested in). With a few exceptions, hiring managers aren’t generally that impressed by certifications at all and would much rather see what you have done with the skill. So for example, you might talk about specific things you’ve achieved using Excel or how you’ve applied your PowerPoint knowledge. If you already happened to have the certifications, it wouldn’t hurt to include them, and if you want to get them because you want the actual knowledge they’ll bring, that could be worth it — but I wouldn’t get them if you primarily intend it to be a resume booster. 3. How to tell candidates that the position they’re applying for is volunteer I work as a volunteer coordinator for a small, regional nonprofit. On our website, we advertise leadership positions, but those positions are all volunteer – as are all of our positions. Lately, I’ve been receiving professional resumes and CVs, and many of these people seem to be looking for professional work (despite that there is no indication of salary or employment on the website). Is there 1) a good way to show this on our site, and 2) a good way to let people know that it’s volunteering when they contact us? I’ve been sending out emails like this: “I appreciate you reaching out to NonProfit Teapots. While I’d love to talk to you further about the position, I did want to let you know that NonProfit Teapots is a volunteer-run organization, and our teapot design leaders are unpaid (but greatly appreciated) positions. Is this something that would still interest you, or are you looking exclusively for paid work?” Is that the right way to approach it when I find a resume, cover letter, and LinkedIn profile sitting in my inbox? Oh gosh, please say it right up-front in the ad! Put it either in the job title — like “Fundraiser (Volunteer)” or in the very first line of the ad itself. The vast, vast majority of people applying are going to assume that it’s paid if you don’t say otherwise, and they’re going to put time into creating a cover letter when they wouldn’t be applying at all if they understood the full picture. (Plus, you’re then wasting your own time fielding these applicants.) There’s no reason not to say it up-front. 4. I accepted an offer for the wrong job title Thanks to your excellent advice, I just received a great job offer. I formally accepted it on Friday, but over the weekend I realized that the title in the offer letter isn’t the same as the title I interviewed for. The offer letter states “program coordinator” and I interviewed for a “program manager” position. When I was given the verbal offer, the recruiter didn’t mention anything about the title being different from the job ad or what I interviewed for. Obviously this is on me that I didn’t bring it up *before* formally accepting, but I had already discussed the offer extensively with the recruiter and the formal acceptance seemed just that–a formality. I’ve emailed the recruiter on Monday morning and asked if it was an intentional change or an oversight and whether the title could be changed back to “program manager”…but did I really mess up here? I feel like it was a bit of a bait-and-switch, and I really should be at the “program manager” level rather than “coordinator.” I will be moving from a small 30 person company to a Fortune 500, and I’m a little intimidated by the HR bureaucracy at the new company. Is there anything I should/can do beyond emailing the recruiter? That’s the right first step — and I’d be matter-of-fact about it, like, “I just noticed that the offer letter has a different job title than the one I applied for and we’ve been discussing (it says program coordinator rather than program manager). I’m assuming it’s just a mistake, but can you confirm that the job is indeed the program manager job that was advertised?” If it turns out that it’s deliberate, (a) that’s really crappy of them to just slip that into the offer letter without explaining it to you, and (b) at that point you can try to negotiate the title and role, and/or get a better understanding of the differences in the roles, and/or retract your acceptance since it’s the wrong position. But start by assuming it was an oversight and see what happens. 5. Can I push an employer to move more quickly in a hiring process? I was unexpectedly laid off in October and am still looking. I am a 40-something social worker with a master’s degree and good experience. I applied for a director job a year ago and ended up coming in second place. Now the job is open again. The board director contacted me and asked me if I was interested, and implied that if I was, they would push the hire through quickly. Fast forward: some of the other board members want to make do a full hiring process, so now I have resubmitted my resume and am in a small pool of candidates. One of the current staff members is keeping me updated and rooting for me. All signs point to my still getting the offer, but I need a job yesterday and have a few more irons in the fire. Should I have to interview again? Should I just wait or try to push things forward by contacting the board president and explaining my situation (laid off and need a job, and feel that they already know my qualifications from last year’s interview and having talked with colleagues from a partner organization as references)? Nope, don’t try to push them to move more quickly. They’ve decided to do a full hiring process, and that’s not unreasonable; it’s actually smart of them to make sure that they’re hiring the best person they can find. It makes sense to have you interview again so that you’re fresh in their minds and they can accurately assess you versus other candidates; they may generally know that they liked you a year ago, but not remember a ton of specifics beyond that. The fact that you need a job quickly doesn’t really change what makes sense for them; the only time you can really push an employer to speed up their process is when you have another offer that you need to respond to (and then you need to be okay with them saying “take the other offer because we won’t have an answer in time”). You may also like:my coworker keeps getting in my personal spacemy coworker posts love notes from their partner all over our shared officemy coworker keeps interrupting me in person rather than emailing, despite my many requests { 295 comments }
after I get the job, can I ask who else was in the candidate pool? by Alison Green on January 25, 2016 A reader writes: I’ve just had my last interview for a new job in a very niche area. There aren’t many experts in this area — so chances are that I would know, or at least be familiar with, most of the other candidates. If they were competitive enough to get an interview, they are a probably a current customer or a competitor of the product I sell today. If I get and accept an offer, do you think it would be weird or inappropriate to ask my new boss who the other candidates were? I’m not interested in patting myself on the back and gloating that I was chosen over anyone. Being hired is enough evidence in itself. And I also know that it’s possible someone more qualified than me might have turned it down for other reasons. In that case I’d be a second, but still good, choice. I’m comfortable with all of that. And anyway, chances are anyone turned down would still be a future customer, competitor, or other colleague in my new role. It’s the same thing if I’m not hired. I will continue to be a visible expert with niche knowledge and experience. So professionalism and preserving my reparation are important here…I’m just curious who I was up against. What do you think? I totally get why you’re curious, but I wouldn’t. There are times when there’s good reason to ask a more narrow version of that question — for example, if you’re going to be managing people, it can be helpful to know if any of them applied for the job and are potentially upset that they didn’t get it (so that if you pick up any weirdness, you have some context for it). But if it’s just because you’re curious, I’d skip it. There’s too much of a chance that your manager would feel uneasy about it and like you were asking her to violate someone else’s privacy. There’s not a ton of privacy attached to job applications (when you apply for a job, you usually have to accept that anyone in that organization may learn that you applied there), but your manager might rightly feel uncomfortable tipping you off that so-and-so is job-searching if your only reason for asking is curiosity. You may also like:do internal candidates have a better chance at the job?remote jobs that aren't really remoteemployer invited me to interview but then canceled within 24 hours { 46 comments }
this is why you need to leave your toxic job by Alison Green on January 25, 2016 Everyone complains about their job occasionally or has times when they dread returning to work on Monday. But for some people, their workplaces aren’t just occasionally frustrating, but truly toxic: Good work isn’t recognized, dissent is penalized, managers are punitive or belittling, and employees are subjected to impossible expectations, punishing hours, and a fear-based atmosphere. It might seem obvious that if you’re working somewhere toxic, you should be actively hunting for a new job. However, toxic workplaces often break people down so much that it makes job searching much more difficult. Toxic jobs can destroy your self-confidence, make you accept your workplace dysfunction as normal, or just leave you without any energy at the end of the day to launch a serious job search. But it’s crucial to get out of toxic jobs quickly because staying can warp your norms and do real damage to you professionally. Here are five reasons to kick your toxic job escape plan into high gear that you may not have considered. 1. A toxic job will change your idea of normal. When you’ve worked in a dysfunctional workplace for a while, you can lose sight of how bad things really are there, and practices that would have horrified you previously can start to feel normal. This can make it difficult for you to recognize how bad your working conditions really are, which in turn can make you less inclined to take on all the work of a job search in order to get out. It can also make it harder for you to screen for functional workplaces and good managers in your next job, which can mean that you end up repeating the cycle. 2. A toxic job will give you bad work habits that you’ll take to your next job. Spending too much time in a dysfunctional workplace or working for a bad manager can make you adopt “survival habits” that might help you get by now, but which will hurt you once you move to a more functional company. For example, if your manager berates you for even minor errors, you might learn that you need to cover up mistakes – but if you do that in a healthy workplace, that behavior can cause big problems, and even get you fired. Or, if your manager doesn’t recognize great work and accepts poor performance from your coworkers, you might eventually decide that there’s no point in trying hard – but when you move on, that habit could be disastrous. 3. The longer you stay in a toxic job, the more likely you’ll be to need your bad manager as a reference in the future. If you and your boss don’t get along, you probably don’t want to use her as a reference in future job searches. But the longer you stay at this job, the more likely prospective employers are to want to talk to her because of the length of time you worked together. (That may not happen on this job search since you can usually avoid using your current manager as a reference – on grounds that you don’t want to tip her off that you’re leaving – but it will become in issue the next time you search). The longer you stay, the deeper this problem will become. 4. It will slow your professional growth. Even if you like your work, having a boss who you don’t get along with or who’s simply incompetent will generally hold you back professionally. Managers have an enormous amount of control over your career, from what projects you get to what development opportunities and recognition you’re given to what kind of raises you receive. A bad boss is less likely to champion you or be well-positioned to give you the sort of projects that can raise your visibility and set you up for your next move. 5. It may be making you sick. Research shows that bad bosses – managers who are hypercritical, unfair, inept, hostile, or harassing – are linked to an increased risk of heart attack, high blood pressure, depression, sleep problems, anxiety, overeating, and more. What’s more, the longer you work with a bad boss, the worse the health effects become. I originally published this at U.S. News & World Report. You may also like:how can I brace myself for my toxic new job?am I being unrealistic in my expectations of the interview process?how should I balance workplace red flags vs. the necessity to get a job? { 174 comments }
should I feel guilty about driving for Uber when others need the work more? by Alison Green on January 25, 2016 A reader writes: I recently started driving for Uber on the side. I have a full-time job that actually pays very well, so I don’t need the money, but I also like to travel and have been putting my Uber money towards my travel fund. Recently I was taken rather harshly to task by another driver for taking business away from drivers who need it to survive and support their families, when I am amply supported by my full-time job. I can see his point, but it also seems like there’s plenty of business for everyone. But now I’m feeling guilty about driving when it’s something I can easily do without. Well, by his logic, you should also feel guilty about having a full-time job if you could get by with a part-time job, or for working at all if your spouse’s income could support you both, or for applying to new jobs when you’re already employed because an unemployed candidate might need the work more. It’s also pretty similar what women in the workforce were told at one point — that they were taking jobs away from men with families to support. Also, who’s to say that the vacancy created if you stopped driving would be filled by someone who needed it to survive? Your spot could be filled by someone who uses the earnings to fund an out-of-control gaming addiction, or to build an army of terrifying robots who will someday destroy us all. We don’t know. Jobs aren’t parceled out according to a hierarchy of need. You’re allowed to use paying work to help you pursue what you want to do in life, even when it takes you beyond minimal survival needs. You may also like:my coworker is rude to Uber driversI don't want to use Airbnb for business travel -- am I out of touch?I'm being pressured to chauffeur interns to and from work { 345 comments }
was I fired or laid off, buying alcohol on a lunch break, and more by Alison Green on January 25, 2016 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My manager has been really accommodating about my medical issues, and I feel guilty about resigning I work for a small (less than 10 people) nonprofit in a role with a pretty rare skill set. I’ve been in the position for just under two years, and for almost the whole time I have been struggling with a mental health condition that’s strongly harmed my work. I’m looking at intensive medical interventions, which will require some form of work accommodation (either a 2-4 week leave of absence, or me going 4/5-time). My manager is on board with these options — I’m honestly surprised I haven’t been fired already, but she’s an incredibly understanding person. However, because of unrelated reasons, I’m also strongly considering resigning about the end of this year. It seems like poor form to take a generous accommodation and then turn around and resign. Because I think I’d be difficult to replace, I had always planned to give a lot of notice, package up my work neatly, and train my replacement if asked. But I feel like I owe my workplace a lot for putting up with my mental health condition and being willing to extend further accommodations. How can I figure out what’s fair here? How can I navigate between “my mental health needs are genuine” and “I owe my workplace for putting up with my crap”? And beyond being an ideal resignee, what could I give my workplace in payment of this debt, real or perceived? You’re dealing with medical issues here. You haven’t been jerking your employer around. This isn’t them giving you tons of flexibility to let you pursue a hobby or some other passion outside of work, or okaying a travel sabbatical with the understanding that they’d hold your job open as long as you were going to return to full-time work afterwards, and then you saying “never mind, see ya!” This is a situation where they were accommodating to you because you were dealing with a serious medical situation. Sometimes those end with “okay, everything’s great and I’m back to work at full speed” — but any sensible manager knows that sometimes they end differently. Don’t let your manager’s willingness to help you turn into an albatross that guilts you into not doing what’s best for your health. You say she’s kind and understanding, so I feel certain that she wouldn’t want that. (And even if she did, it wouldn’t create an obligation on your part to give in.) Plus, it’s pretty likely that you’ve been providing more value than you think during this time, and I suspect that’s part of why she’s been so willing to accommodate you — so don’t sell yourself short there. If you weren’t providing much value on a tiny staff, you probably would have heard about it by now. As for being an ideal resignee: Giving lots of notice, leaving your work in good shape, and training a replacement is pretty much the best thing you could ever do when you’re resigning and have a boss who has treated you well. That’s a great plan. But you could also talk it through with your manager and get her input too — “here’s what I’m thinking; is there anything else I could do that would make this an easier transition?” 2. Buying alcohol on a break from work (to consume later) I have a birthday party I have to leave for immediately after work, and so I thought I would go ahead and buy the alcohol I needed for it over my lunch break. I also (stupidly) happened to mention to the cashier where I worked, and it’s a place that definitely frowns on drinking while on duty and is concerned about the appearance of their employees. So my question is, do you think it was a big mistake to do that over my lunch? Not at all. This isn’t drinking at work, or even drinking at lunch. You bought a perfectly legal product on your lunch break. It would be really strange — to the point of bizarre and outrageous — for anyone to have a problem with that. Go forth and worry no more. 3. Was I fired or laid off? I lost my job today. Well, I know where my job is, I was just asked to stop doing it. I’m not too terribly upset by it. It was a fantastic job, but they were having a hard time finding work for me to do. It’s also a great time to be a developer in Seattle, so I don’t expect that it will be all that difficult to find a new one relatively quick, and I’ll probably make more money too. Fingers crossed, anyway. One thing stood out when I was being ushered toward the door. My now former manager told me that I wasn’t being fired because of anything I did or did not do. He said that he’s got something like 20 developers in the company, that he couldn’t find a project to put me on, and that the company has changed a lot since I started last year and doesn’t have the capacity to train a junior developer (which I am). He specifically said that I was being fired rather than being laid off, but from what I’m reading it sure sounds more like a layoff to me. It sounds like the definition of a layoff to me, but a lot of people are confused about the difference between firing (let go for performance or other cause) and laying off (position eliminated for lack of work, restructuring, or other business reasons). I can’t tell from your note if you mean that he went out of his way to stress that it was a firing and not a layoff, or if he just called it a firing. Assuming the latter, I’d figure it’s just a terminology problem and that it’s in fact a layoff. But if it’s the former, I’d contact him and ask him to clarify. Actually, you might contact him either way, because you don’t want him telling future reference-checkers that you were fired if in fact you weren’t. You could say something like this: “Fergus, I wanted to check back with you about my termination. You called it a firing, but also said it wasn’t due to anything I’d done, and that it was because of lack of work, which sounds more like a layoff. I want to make sure that I describe it accurately in future interviews, and that we’re both telling reference-checkers the same thing — am I right in thinking this is a layoff, since you’re eliminating the position?” Read updates to this letter here and here. 4. I found out from a coworker that I got a promotion I was going for a promotion at work that report to a different executive and management chain. I was waiting for a yes/no answer and received an email from a peer who was also going for a promotion. The email essentially said “our director (neither’s direct manager) told me we both got the job.” This was the first I had heard of my promotion. Besides the fact that he told many colleagues and new teammates we both got the job before I received the offer, the director never told me I received an offer; no one did for a week after. I’ve since received an offer directly from the hiring manager but am still negotiating salary. I am upset about the way I was told. Is it appropriate to bring this to HR? I mentioned how I was told to my manager and she brushed over it. The director makes me uncomfortable and plays favorites but is highly popular with her bosses. That’s weird and was mishandled, but unless it’s part of a larger pattern of concerns about communication with your director, I’d let it go. If it is part of a larger pattern of concerns about communication, I’d start by talking to your boss about that, with the focus on the pattern, not this one incident. HR’s job isn’t really to be an intermediary if you haven’t already tried to address this kind of thing on your own first. 5. My paychecks have been late for five years Five years ago, my employer had asked me to hold off on depositing my paycheck due to lack of funds from business slowing down. Being a small family-owned and operated business, I wanted to be helpful so I agreed to hold off. Well, here we are, five years later and I am now sitting on four paychecks! Each pay period I deposit the oldest check while retaining the newest. Every time I inquire about depositing them, I get told a slew of excuses and that I need to wait. I’m done waiting, so what can I do? I’m in California. Say this to your manager: “I’ve tried to be patient with the paycheck situation, but I really need to get it taken care of this month. I’m currently owed four paychecks. We could get in a lot of trouble with the state government for this; California actually requires employees to be paid within two weeks of performing the work, and comes down pretty hard when labor laws aren’t followed. Can we set up a plan to get fully caught up on my pay with the next check?” (You can find out the exact number of days that applies to you here.) I’m not hopeful that it will actually happen; if they don’t have the money, they don’t have the money (although this could motivate them to move it from something else). But it’s a reasonable thing to say. And meanwhile, give some thought to how comfortable you are tying your livelihood to a business that’s having this much trouble paying you what you earn. It’s been happening for five years — I think you can safely assume that it’s going to continue happening. Last, you can file a wage claim with the state here. 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weekend free-for-all – January 23-24, 2016 by Alison Green on January 23, 2016 This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. (This one is truly no work and no school. If you have a work question, you can email it to me or post it in the work-related open thread on Fridays.) Book Recommendation of the Week: Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters, by Mallory Ortberg, who is the awesomest, and you should also be reading her at the-toast.net and as the new Dear Prudence. * I make a commission if you use that Amazon link. You may also like:all of my 2018 book recommendationsthe Ask a Manager book is on sale at Amazonyes, you are awkward ... and yes, it's okay { 785 comments }
coworker sings and talks while we’re in the bathroom, acting supervisor gave me grief about teleworking during blizzard, and more by Alison Green on January 23, 2016 It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Acting supervisor gave me grief about teleworking during blizzard I live/work just outside the D.C. metro, which spent this past week expecting a huge blizzard to start sometime on Friday. My supervisor has been out for the week, so I requested telework for Friday from my “acting” supervisor (a team lead, but not my team lead). He chided me for asking for the entire day (the storm wasn’t supposed to start until the afternoon), a message that I believe my supervisor wouldn’t have sent me. I spoke to my team lead, and he said I should stay home if I’m worried (my neighborhood rarely sees plows, and we’re in an area that the storm was supposed to hit early). So, I think I’m okay. My question is, should I tell my supervisor about the other team lead chiding me? I think he would like to talk to the team lead so that their messaging about winter weather can be consistent, but I’m concerned it would look like tattling. If it’s relevant, neither of the two team leads nor my supervisor were in those positions last winter (we had a rough summer), so this is the first major winter event for them (together and individually) in management. Yes, tell her. It’s not tattling (a concept that doesn’t really apply at work most of the time anyway — more on that here); it’s helping her make sure that things are working the way she wants when she’s not there. You can frame it as “I thought what Fergus told me was out of sync with what I suspect you would have told me. It’s no big deal — it worked out fine — but if I’m right about that, I figured I should mention it to you so in case you want to get everyone aligned about how you want this kind of thing handled in the future.” 2. Coworker sings and talks while we’re in the bathroom One of my coworkers sings while using the restroom and occasionally tries to engage me in conversation while she’s doing her business or I’m doing mine. It seems silly, but it makes me very uncomfortable. I’m too embarrassed to ask her to stop and it seems like a ridiculous thing to bring to HR. Help? Let the singing go; it’s not a big enough deal to get into with her. (It would be different if she were doing it in your work area and preventing you from focusing, but I’m assuming focus isn’t so much of an issue in the bathroom — or that if it is, you can wait her out.) But if she tries to talk to you while you’re both in bathroom stalls, you can say “Sorry, I have trouble hearing in here” or “This isn’t a good time” or “I’m pretending I’m alone in here, Jane” or whatever you’re comfortable with. (And yeah, definitely don’t take it to HR.) 3. How should my resume handle seven months of leave to play professional sports? I have worked in sciences for my state government for four years. In August, I took unpaid leave in order to play sports professionally in a European league (my bosses are very supportive of my sporting endeavours, and I play for my country in international competitions). I’ll be back in the office in April and plan on applying for other jobs within the department within the next 6-12 months. How should I list my job and leave on my resume? I’m looking for roles geared more towards training and development. In past interviews, I have had a lot of interest in my sporting career and how it relates to working in teams, leadership, self-management and so on, so should I make a note of it? Right now, I simply have the previous role as: Job, Department, 2011-present – achievement – achievement – achievement I think it’s fine to list it that way; I don’t think you need to call out the seven months away, just like you wouldn’t need to note if you were on maternity leave for part of that time. Then you can list the sports league separately, possibly in a section titled Other or wherever else it might fit. 4. Explaining a four-year gap due to visa issues I taught high school for five years in Canada before relocating to the US in 2011 with my husband (also a Canadian citizen) while he completed his medical residency. Due to the type of visa he was on, I was only able to obtain a spouse visa, meaning I was unable to work during that time (I was no even able to obtain a SSN). It is a long, complicated process but we are in the midst of getting our green cards. In the meantime, I have (finally) received work authorization (even though our green card application is still pending). This is the short and not-at-all-comprehensive explanation. Complicating matters is the fact that I don’t intend to return to teaching (another long story – the short-ish version is that I have a teaching license in my old state but our current state will not recognize it and the process to get my license here is absurd). I am now able to apply for jobs but am struggling with how to address the four-year employment gap. I spent those four years volunteering with the Ronald McDonald House (and include that on my resume – I was highly involved, just unpaid). Even though I am fully authorized to work now, I fear any mention of previous visa issues, resolved or not, will give prospective employers pause. Moreover, it’s not an issue that can be explained briefly, especially in a cover letter. How would you advise me to handle this? Play up the volunteering, especially if it was anything close to full-time. But it really should be okay to simply say, “I needed to wait until I had legal work authorization, and now I do.” I don’t think that’s going to give employers pause — it makes it clear that you waited until things were settled, and now they are. Seriously, people will get that. 5. Tracking down a networking connection who changed jobs A few months ago, I had a networking call with a manager at an office where I’d love to work one day. It went well, and he told me that if he spotted any job opportunities where he works, he would send them my way. (They’re very rarely posted online, and new opportunities are mainly found through word of mouth.) Recently, I sent him a quick email to check if he’d heard of anything, but it bounced back—presumably because he’s moved on to other opportunities. I’d like to stay in touch with him, if possible, but only have his (now former) work e-mail. It’s also possible that an opportunity has opened up in this office with his departure, but because I don’t have a way to contact him, I have no way of knowing. The person who put us in contact was another networking connection. My question is, would it be odd to ask them if they have another contact e-mail for him? Is there another way to keep in touch that I’m not thinking of? Or should I just let this one go? I’d first try LinkedIn, which is made for this kind of situation. But if you can’t find him there, it should be absolutely fine to ask your original contact for an updated email for the guy — since the contact put you in touch in the first place, I doubt she’d be hesitant to help you reconnect. You may also like:my boss made me leave a note at a grave, work experience vs. good college, and moreis it insensitive to be excited for snow at work?we've heard rumors that our incoming new boss is a nightmare { 83 comments }