Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Asking whether an internal candidate will be angry that I got the job

I’m currently interviewing for a job in my field, and it’s going exceptionally well. I’ve been invited to travel to their city (at their expense) for an in-person interview, and everyone I’ve spoken with seems very interested in me and enthusiastic about my candidacy.

I have one relatively minor worry, and that is whether or not they are also interviewing any internal candidates for the position. A few years ago, I found myself in a horrible situation when I was promoted to management and had as one of my direct reports someone who had also applied for the management position but didn’t get it. This person was completely incapable of being mature and professional about it, and I think they delighted in trying to make my life hell. Attempts at progressive discipline/performance improvement plans were met with false claims of discrimination and/or retaliation. It was a nightmare for me and my own supervisors, and I was never so relieved as when our department reorganized and I was able to transition out of the management role altogether.

So needless to say, while I’m excited about the possibility of the job I’m currently interviewing for, I’m curious to know whether or not there are any internal candidates in the pool of finalists. Is there a way I can ask about this without sounding paranoid and/or nosy? Or should I wait to ask until I’m offered the position? I wouldn’t necessarily turn down a job if I learned I’d been selected over an internal candidate, but I would want to have a heart-to-heart with my new boss and agree in advance about how any hurt feelings/retaliation would be handled.

It’s very normal when interviewing for a management job to ask whether anyone on the team has expressed interest in the role. And if you get an offer, you can have a more detailed conversation about how any internal candidates on the team you’ll be managing are likely to handle being passed over. I’d start from the assumption that it will be fine; you don’t want to sound like you’re assuming that it will be an issue, since your situation at your old job definitely isn’t the norm and you don’t want to be overly influenced by that, although it is indeed wise to get the lay of the land in this regard.

I have more advice here about how to handle it if you do end up managing someone resentful that they didn’t get your job here and here.

2. How to explain to customers that we’re backlogged with work

I work in a tiny two-person department building online fundraising forms in a much larger organization. We have needed a third person or at least an intern for several months now, but it has not been approved by the higher-ups to hire anyone. Our customers (all nonprofits) are often asking for our services at the last minute, and this time of year are pushing us for extra quick turnaround time for Giving Tuesday and end-of-year campaigns. Normally, we have a 2-3 week turnaround time on larger jobs and 1-2 weeks on smaller jobs. Right now, we are so backlogged and understaffed that we are looking at 3-4 weeks for small jobs and 4-6 weeks for large jobs. Additionally, our manager recently left, so I am filling in with a lot of managerial tasks in his place and am struggling to get all my usual work completed in a timely fashion.

What is the best way to handle customers who push and push for a quicker turnaround time? I don’t want to tell them that we’re backlogged and understaffed, because honestly that’s our problem not theirs, but what do I tell them when I say we just can’t accommodate their request? What do I say when they want to talk to a manager about it, when I am essentially the manager of our department? (My interim manager is a SVP who really doesn’t have time for customer escalations.)

Just explain that you’re backlogged because of the extra demand around the holidays and be clear up-front about what turnaround time they can expect. If you have customers who you expect to reach out between now and the end of the year, proactively give them a heads-up now about turnaround time, so that they can plan accordingly and get stuff to you earlier, and aren’t surprised by it later. But yeah, I wouldn’t get into the issue of being understaffed, since that’s more info than they need.

I’d also check with your interim manager about how she wants you handle customer requests to speak to a manager; that one is her call, but you should ask her now so that you’re prepared when it happens.

3. Company won’t reimburse business trip airplane ticket after I resigned

I’ve been a long-time reader of your blog, and am happy to say that thanks in large part to the things I’ve learned from you about writing cover letters, tailoring my resume, and interviewing, I’ve just landed a dream job in my dream field (at my alma mater, no less!).

My problem comes in leaving my current job. I’ve been here for 2-1/2 years, and for the past 6 months, have been working remotely from across the country (think 4-hour plane ride). Our agreement was that my company would pay for plane travel, and I would pay for all of my other travel expenses. Well, when it came time to plan for my next in-person visit to the company in mid-December, they said the plane tickets were too expensive – the company credit cards have a $500 limit – and asked if I would front the money and submit an expense report to be reimbursed.

At the time, I hadn’t yet applied for my new job and was still planning on making this work trip, so I purchased the plane ticket and submitted the expense report about a week later. New job happened really fast – I applied, was interviewed, and offered the job all in a two-week whirlwind. I just gave notice (2.5 weeks), and my director at old job denied my expense report that was pending. She hasn’t said a word to me about it, I just received an auto-email that it had been denied. Now, the ticket I purchased had to be approved by my company, and they gave me a budget that did not allow for a refundable ticket. Do I suck it up and accept that I’ve lost the $500+ for the ticket, or should I escalate this to someone in our HR department? I hate to burn bridges by doing that, but this is a substantial chunk of money.

Hell, no, do not suck it up. This was a business expense that they agreed to pay, and they need to pay it. It would be the height of pettiness and frankly nastiness for them to refuse to pay because you’ve put in your notice.

I would first contact your manager about it and say, “I received a denial of this expense reimbursement, which I think must be a mistake since this was an approved business expense. I realize, of course, that my resignation means that I won’t be making the trip, but it was a business expense, not a personal one, and I bought the ticket with the company’s okay. Will there be an issue with approving this?”

If you don’t get it resolved that way, then yes, you should absolutely escalate it. They have a clear ethical obligation to pay this.

4. Central time-tracking calendar feels like invasion of privacy

I work for a small company in New York City (about 20 employees). Instead of a time clock or some other means of tracking time, there is a large calendar posted in the middle of the office. Everyone writes on it when they are taking a day off or leaving early or coming in late. Instead of a single HR person or a couple of managers keeping track of time off, it is open to everyone.

I know we are small and people would probably notice anyway, but I think it is an invasion of privacy to be forced to put your time off for everyone to see, especially when this includes doctor’s appointments and funerals. On top of that, I have found several times when people who are not managers are writing when someone else has been late or called in sick, and they were not asked to do so. One example was a day I put a doctor’s appointment up and expected to come in late. I got to work around noon, and someone had changed my entry to show I was out for the day. What are your thoughts on this?

As long as you’re not required to write personal details (like “OBGYN appointment”) and instead can just write things like “sick leave,” “vacation time,” or “out for afternoon,” I think that’s pretty reasonable. In an office of 20 people, there’s a need for people to know if someone is out for the day, coming back at noon, unreachable because they’re on vacation, or whatever. It’s reasonable to make that information centrally available.

But if you’re actually required to include details about the reason for your absence, then yeah, that’s weird and you should push back. But I’d try just being vague first and seeing if anyone objects.

As for the person who changed your entry, I’d assume it was a mistake or miscommunication. If it becomes a pattern, you should speak up about it, but absent that, I’d let it go.

5. Should I tell a past interviewer how much my intuition says their company is the right fit for me?

I have interviewed for a LOT of jobs over the past few years, having been through a lengthy job hunt before finally landing the job I now have. Sadly, it is proving to not be a good fit for me — or for them, I suspect. Anyway, during my job search, I interviewed at a particular organization that I have been thinking about ever since. I rely a lot on vibe and intuition, and this place just seemed like IT — I sort of fell in love with the people I met, the mission, the energy, all of it. Well, I didn’t get that job, but now that I am going to step back out into another job search, I’d like to contact them again. The head of the department I interviewed with appears to have left the organization but still be consulting, and the other gentleman I met is now the head of the department.

I am assuming it would not be out of line to contact him, remind him of who I am (it was almost two years ago that we met), and tell him I am still interested in working for them, right? But what about this feeling of it being such a good fit, the place I keep thinking about, etc. etc. Is that too weird? Even to say that I rely on intuition and my intuition said it was the place for me? Should i say anything in particular to remind him of who I am? (Actually, all I would say is that we talked about taking our kids to Lalapalooza, and he told me that people there were very huggy — which I loved!) Furthermore, what am I asking of him? To meet for coffee and get reacquainted? To keep me in mind? What I really want is an in there, someone who likes me and will let me know when there’s an opening and get me in for an interview. It’s a very large organization with a pretty awful applicant tracking system, and I am really trying to avoid those this time around.

It would be totally appropriate to reach out, remind him of your conversation two years ago, and tell him that they really captured your interest when you talked and you’d love to reconnect if they have any openings that you might be the right fit for. Leave it him to let you know what, if anything, would make sense from there. (And attach your updated resume.)

But no, I wouldn’t mention your intuition about being a good fit. Too often, candidates are convinced a job or company is a perfect fit for them, when the employer isn’t really in agreement about that — and really, whether or not you’re right, there’s no benefit to telling them that. I’ve talked to countless candidates who told me they could feel what a perfect fit something was, when in fact it really wasn’t. I’m not saying that’s the case here, but I am saying that they’re not likely to be swayed by it. What they care first and foremost is whether it feels like a great fit to them and aren’t likely to put a lot of stock in your intuition about it. If it does, they’ll be glad you’re enthusiastic too — but that’s the first step here.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Child care reimbursement for a weekend-long team-building retreat

I work for a company that has a team-building retreat one weekend a year. We are at the event Friday through Sunday (so two overnights). In that time, we have two substantive meetings of about 2.5 hours each. The rest of the time is spent at spas, wineries, shopping, golfing, etc. Spouses are highly encouraged to attend, but children are not allowed. Attendance is not required per se, but it is highly encouraged and if you miss it, there better be a good reason. Similarly, if your spouse does not come, management wants to know why.

My question is whether the attendees who must find and pay for care for children for two nights and days can seek reimbursement of those costs. If this were really for business, or during the week, I could see why not, but it is more of a forced fun event and really, a boondoggle.

Very, very unlikely. Your better bet is to attend without your spouse and explain that he or she isn’t there because you have children who couldn’t be left alone. And beyond that, it might also be useful to get a group of employees to push back against the “you need a good reason for missing this” situation, because asking people to give up an entire weekend (even if it’s full of spas and wineries) is enough of an imposition that they should make it more truly optional than it currently sounds.

2. Can I tell an employer I really want a higher level position than the one I’m interviewing for?

I’m a computer programmer/systems analyst, and I’ve gone through some denied-a-promotion adventures this year for a team lead position. Lots of drama and pain. Long story short, even though I have proven myself and am more than capable of running my own projects and team, I have been all but told that I am too valuable in my current position. That was six months ago, and I’ve been job hunting ever since. (Don’t worry – I didn’t quit my job yet!)

I started looking at only team lead positions to apply to, but have recently started looking at the possibility of sidestepping into the same position at another organization just for the sake of getting out of my current (now toxic) work environment. I’m starting to get some traction with both the team lead positions and the sidestep positions and have been writing some job exams as the first stage of the interview process. The next step after these will be formal interviews.

In these possible upcoming interviews where it would be a sidestep, is it worthwhile mentioning that I really am looking for a position that is one level higher than what the posted position is for? How will that come across? Clearly, they’re hiring for that specific position and not one higher up for a reason. Could it possibly ruin my chances of getting into one of these organizations where there’s more room for career growth? I could mention it as a 5-year goal, but the reality is that I’m not prepared to wait that long and genuinely feel that I am overdue for this.

Nope, you shouldn’t mention that you’re really looking for a higher level position; that’s basically like announcing “I don’t actually want the job that you’re trying to fill and will quickly be trying to move out of it.” Employers want to hire people who are excited about the job they’re putting them in, not already feeling overdue to move up.

In fact, I think you probably need to resolve that mentally before you keep applying for lateral moves. If you’re going to feel frustrated six months into one of those jobs, you’ll have done yourself and the employer a disservice. I think you’ve got to either figure out a way to be reasonably happy at that level for a couple of years, or apply for positions that are at the level you want to be at.

3. How to ask a prospective employer for a schedule where I’d leave early

I am currently searching for a new job (still working at current job but unhappy for many reasons), and in anticipation of interviews, I’m wondering how to ask for specific work hours. I have a one-year-old daughter who attends a daycare that we adore, but it is only open until 4:30, which means I need to leave work to pick her up before then. At my current job, I’ve modified my hours so I come in early, take a short lunch, and leave early. I’m also available to work at home in the evening if needed. I’d really like to continue this schedule and not have to find a new daycare. I know I’m lucky to have an accommodating workplace, and that has stopped me from perusing other opportunities that are better career-wise. If it matters, the type of positions are upper-level research and development roles that involve working with a team as well as a lot of solo work.

How do I bring this up? In the past, I’ve always accepted the terms as they were offered (and kick myself afterwards), so I don’t have a lot of negotiating experience. Am I crazy for even asking a potential employer to accommodate this sort of schedule without only being considered for lower-level positions? I feel a trapped in my current job because it fits our family needs so well, but I also want to advance my career.

Wait until you have an offer, and bring it up then as something you negotiate for. An employer may or may not agree, but it’s not unreasonable to ask for it. If they won’t agree to it, then you can decide whether the rest of the package is attractive enough to make it worth it to you anyway, or you can always turn it down. But you’re better off trying to negotiate it once you have an offer; if you bring it up earlier in the process, you risk it being a strike against you before they’ve made up their mind that they want you, or the hiring manager just not wanting to sort through it before they’ve even figured out if they want to hire you.

4. Will I be penalized for not identifying my race when a job application asks for it?

I have a question regarding race on job applications. Every job application that I apply to online asks that I identify my race/ethnicity on the application (I am African American) or declare that I wish not to identify my race. Does not declaring my race put me at a disadvantage? I don’t want any potential employers viewing my actions of not declaring my race in the online application as trying to hide something.

They’re asking because companies with more than 100 employees and companies with government contracts over a certain dollar amount are required by law to report the demographic makeup of their applicants and employees to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (in aggregate, not individually).

However, answering is voluntary, and you can’t be penalized for not answering. In fact, it’s illegal to use the information in a hiring decision (except for the part where they asked about veteran status; it’s legal to give veterans a preference in hiring), and that information is usually separated from the rest of your application in order to avoid even the appearance of it entering into decisions.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Job hunting as a victim of revenge porn

About a decade ago, when we were seniors in college, my now-husband was studying abroad on the other side of the globe. As part of his long-distance Valentine’s Day gift, I emailed him a bunch of dirty selfies…and then my account got hacked. It took seven years for them to surface, but when they did it was brutal. These explicit photos with my full name and other personal information were everywhere. If you googled me, the first dozen pages were these pictures on various disgusting websites with tons of sickeningly cruel comments. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, and it took me a while to recover. At this point, it’s basically under control–I used advice from endrevengeporn.org and most of the time my search results are fine, but a few times a year there are flurries where the pictures get posted again and show up on the third or fourth page of Google for a few days while I get it all sorted out.

When it happened, I had been at a job I liked for about a year and wasn’t planning on going anywhere, but now I’m starting to look for new opportunities. If a recruiter or a potential boss came across one of these terrible websites, what would that do to my chances as a candidate? On one hand, it seems like society is becoming more sympathetic to victims of revenge/non-consensual porn, but on the other–don’t most reasonable people recoil when they come across sexually explicit materials at work? Do they automatically imply bad judgement? Do people even google to page 3 or 4 when researching candidates? If you meet me in person, I believe it’s obvious that I was much younger when the pictures were taken, but it makes me cringe to think about a recruiter even knowing about it.

How horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.

If we’re talking a few days a few times a year, this will probably never even come up. If an employer does happen to Google you during that fairly narrow window, there’s also a very good chance they won’t go beyond the first one or two pages of search results. And if they do, they will be sufficiently unsure that it’s actually you (as opposed to someone else using the same name), that — taken altogether — I think you can give yourself a pass on having to worry about this, as long as you’re staying on top of whatever steps you’ve been using.

You have a lot of company in this awful boat; it’s a terrible thing.

2. I can’t afford to bring my partner to our office Christmas party

My partner and I have fallen into difficult times and money is tight. My part-time job at a small family-run clinic is our main source of income, and I’ve worked there for less than a year.

I had originally planned for my partner to attend the office Christmas party and set aside money for this in advance, but I’ve recently had to remove his name from the list due to financial restraints caused by all the other Christmas activities I’m expected to participate in (including a team building night out in another city, a secret Santa drive, and the purchase of a “fun jumper” to wear in lieu of my uniform for the week leading up to December 24th).

When I discussed it with my manager, she said it would be a shame for him not to attend and wanted to work out “some other arrangement.” I am uncomfortable with the thought of them paying for his ticket when everyone else is expected to pay for their partner to attend. Plus I feel it would add a quid pro quo to my work relationship, which I’d rather avoid. How do I decline such an offer without causing offense?

I don’t think it’s going to create a quid pro quo; your office is basically saying that they don’t want this to be a financial hardship for you and they’re (possibly) willing to just waive the cost of him attending. (Frankly, they should do that for everyone; asking employees to pay to attend a holiday party is sort of the opposite of the morale-building intent those parties are supposed to have, but that’s a different post.)

If you really don’t want to do that, you could simply say, “That’s very kind of you and I really appreciate it, but I wouldn’t be comfortable accepting that.” Or it might be easier for him to just have conflicting plans that day.

Also, if you’re comfortable with it, you’d probably be doing others a favor if you pointed out that the costs of all these holidays observances add up and can pose a hardship.

3. Is this employee getting two lunch breaks?

I have an employee who takes an hour off-site every day, then comes back and heats up a full lunch and eats at her desk (while working). Now it is going on with two other employees as well. I am an office supervisor with an admin and director who think this is fine, but I do not. What do you suggest?

Are they as productive when they work while eating as they would be if they weren’t eating? If so, I don’t see a problem there. If eating while they work means that they’re not getting as much done during that period, that would be a legitimate thing to raise. But otherwise, this is probably someone who’s working out or running errands during their mid-day break and then eating when they return to work, and as long as it’s not impacting their work output, you should let it go.

4. Should my references be telling me when they hear from employers?

Would you mind clarifying an etiquette question regarding references? I have been a reference for many employees and coworkers. I am always honored when asked and take great care to inform them along the way. If I am listed as a reference, and the candidate tells me that their prospective employer is calling references, i always let them know, within a few days if I heard from them or not.

I normally will take time to reach out and let them know if it was a positive experience (which it usually is). I have been a candidate so many times, and love to know that my references are looking out for me.

I ask because I am in a search now (the first time in a long time). My references are silent. I asked them if they could be positive references and got overwhelming responses and now that reference checks are happening – it has been a week and I don’t know if they did it or not. I have even had casual conversations with one reference, who hasn’t spoken about it at all.

I don’t want to seem naggy and ask a lot, but I would at the very least expect an update, like “I spoke with jane from Teapots Inc. Good luck!” What is the etiquette on this for a reference, and what should a candidate do to get more information?

I’m with you on this — when I get a reference call for someone, I let them know that it happened. But I don’t think that’s anywhere near universal practice. Some people do, and some people don’t.

I think it’s fine to occasionally ask your references if they’ve heard from a particular company — but I wouldn’t do a lot of that, because it risks getting annoying. You’re probably better off accepting that some people just aren’t going to circle back and tell you that they did the call. And that’s really okay — as long as they’re putting their energy into giving you a thoughtful reference, that’s where you want it anyway.

5. My boss scheduled me for more hours than we agreed on

I am a casual employee, as well as a student. When school commenced in September, I made it clear to my employer that I cannot work more than 20 hours a week. She agreed and everything has been fine up until this point. We get our schedule a month in advance, so October 1st, I got my schedule for the whole month of November. A week into October, I had noticed that in the middle of November I am scheduled for 30 hours. I then approached my boss, and she said that the schedule has already been released and that it must stay that way. As a full-time student in university in my last year, there is no way that I can work that much. What should I do?

Say this to her: “We agreed at the start of September that I cannot work more than 20 hours a week because I’m also in school. The schedule as it’s currently written conflicts with that agreement. I’m really not able to go over 20 hours a week, so how would you like me to handle this?”

If she refuses to budge, you could try suggesting options on your own, like asking someone else to take your shifts. But if she still won’t budge, at that point you’ll have to decide if you’d rather deal with being over-scheduled that one week (with the risk of training her that she can get away with doing that to you in the future too) or hold firm and risk whatever consequences might come with that (which could include being fired, but that really depends on your boss).