Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employee wants halal lunch options

I work as part of a small HR team in a medium-sized start-up company — around 50 employees. We offer employees a range of free stuff, including lunch. The way lunch works is that a small amount is deducted from the salary and we provide lunch. This is cheaper than bringing in your own lunch. The options are vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free – but not halal. Currently 100% of our employees participate.

We have employees of various backgrounds. One of them is Jane. Jane’s department has flexible working hours, so she can also practice her religion – going to pray during work hours and coming back to work afterwards. She recently wrote to me about a problem: The place we order our lunch from does not offer a halal option. She is not happy about the vegetarian option, since she is not a vegetarian.

What should we do? On the one hand, we have invested a lot of time and energy in finding a healthy and tasty lunch option, and people are very satisfied with it. I could suggest her to talk with finance and take her off the office lunch list, and she could bring her own lunch. This would however make her stand out of the crowd and not be inclusive. On the other hand, I also want to be part of a company that welcome diversity and where there is space for everyone. But is it too much to make a special agreements for one employee? Do you have a good suggestion of what course of action to take?

You should try to find halal options.

If you really want your workplace to be diverse, that means that you shouldn’t run a workplace-wide program that excludes some people because of their religious practices, especially when there’s a pretty straightforward fix.

Making special arrangements for one employee isn’t inherently a bad thing. You’d presumably make special arrangements for someone in a wheelchair, or with a life-threatening allergy, or a Jewish employee who needed to leave before sundown on Fridays, and so forth. It’s not about “is it really worth doing for just one person?”; it’s about “we recognize that we have a bunch of different people here, we value that, and we want to show them they’re welcome and make it easy and appealing for them to stay.”

There may be limits to that, of course, depending on how people’s needs intersect with your business needs. But offering halal food is pretty straightforward and doesn’t seem like it should be running up against any kind of reasonableness limit.

2. How to answer a “would you rather…” interview question

How would you have answered this interview question I was asked: “Would you rather be the #1 performer in your office but got along with none of your coworkers, or be the #15 performer in your office and get along with everyone?”

I’d answer: “If either of those was the case, I’d consider it a problem that I’d want to figure out how to fix. I don’t think you can sustain top performance without strong relationships, and even if you can, it’s going to be hugely disruptive to an office. And while I realize not everyone can be #1, I do hold myself to a high bar and would take 15th place as a sign that I needed to figure out what I could be doing better.”

A good interviewer will accept that and be happy with it. Bad interviewers may try to insist you make a choice. There’s little that can be done about them, but I suppose that if pressed, you could say that you’d take option #2 with the caveat that you’d be working hard to raise your performance, because that one has room to let you improve, while the damaged relationships in #1 may not be surmountable.

3. I can’t get an answer from my company about what my role is

Working at a company for five years, I moved up the ranks quite quickly through hard work and dedication. I love my job and I got promoted to supervisor because of that. After that promotion and the success of the company, new responsibilities started to become my own, especially supporting how the department was managed.

My manager went on a leave, initially for a couple of months, and I was asked if I would take the wheel during his absence. I took the challenge as I was already doing most of the job already. What started as a couple of months ended up extending to a year and a half, and I’ve started to ask what my role is.

Several promotions have been announced, I’ve engaged upper management on my situation and I always get a similar reply to “we’ll discuss this next week at the latest,” but next week comes and… silence. I’ve gone on holiday, come back, it’s been two months, and nothing changed (except the workload!).

I’ve been working hard and my dedication is intact, but I am an ambitious person. I even mentioned that if they want to hire a manager, I’d be okay with that, but again, I need to know what my role is. I was hinted by a “the bigger question is do you want that role” (to which I already said yes, if you think I’m the guy you want), but that the role was being defined, as it will be a new role. Again it’s been two months. I find it an awful lot of time to define a role and present a proposal.

I don’t want to give them an ultimatum, but I’m getting tired of chasing the company to either give me the position or let me know I’m not getting it. How can this be done in the most “politically correct” way?

You may not be able to. They know that you want an answer, and for some reason they’re choosing not to give you one right now. All you can do is to respond to what you do know, which is that they’ve left you hanging for months and ignored your multiple direct requests to figure this out.

You could try saying something like, “I’ve been very patient while this was worked out, but the timelines we’ve discussed have come and gone. I need to be able to make good decisions for myself, so can you give me a realistic sense of when you’re likely to have a more definite answer for me, or whether that’s unlikely to happen any time soon?” Any sensible manager will hear that the subtext there is “or I’m going to start thinking about other options.”

But if you want to move up, you may need to look outside your company to do that.

4. I sent out the wrong version of my resume

I’ve recently decided that the job I’ve been working for the past three years is not part of the career path I want to take, and have been accordingly applying to positions in a tangentially related field that I believe better suits my skills and work style. Over the past couple of weeks I have applied to a number of good prospects, and I was feeling quite good about my chances.

Until last night.

I was going back over my applications and realized I had somehow sent an outdated version of my resume with all of my applications. The work history, etc. is all correct, but the objective states that I want to be working in an entirely different career!

Is there anything I can do to salvage my relationship with these potential employers? Should I send an updated version of my resume? And if so, should I acknowledge my mistake in my cover letter, or just let it lie? Or do I need to just move on and take better care in the future?

Ooooh, that sucks. You have nothing to lose by sending a corrected version of your resume with a short note explaining you already applied but sent an outdated version of your resume … but yeah, this isn’t great. Mainly I’d focus on making sure it’s correct going forward.

5. Can my company dock my vacation days if I answered emails while I was away?

I took a 10-day vacation but still answered work emails during this time (there were only three days I did not log on). I heard in Texas, my company cannot dock my vacation days because I was working. Is this correct?

No. If you were taking those days unpaid, they’d have to pay you for the time you worked … but assuming that this was paid vacation, no law requires them to count those as work days rather than vacation days. (Otherwise, everyone would just check email while they vacationed and never have to use any vacation days.)

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Do I owe my employer an apology for interviewing elsewhere?

I was laid off a couple of months ago and took another job to help pay the bills. I have had my eyes open for another position, and went to interviews. I work at night, and recently a card with a time, date, and a request for references fell out of my pocket while I was working, and it was very obvious that I was going to be interviewing.

Somehow that card made its way to the general manager’s desk. My direct boss took a photo of it, sent it to me, and told me that the GM is practically blowing a head gasket over it. I told my direct boss that I had no idea it was there, but that I had simply been looking for a part-time position. His response was “Well, you should apologize to her better.”

I am having a very hard time with this, because this place I applied to offered me a position (it’s not on paper yet), and I really want to take it. I was going to work with my current position to be either part-time or on-call, but now I’m not sure I want to do this.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to apologize for something being on her desk, or for looking for jobs. Do I really owe my GM an apology?

In general, you don’t owe an employer an apology for talking with other employers or seriously considering moving on.

That said, it’s not outrageous that your GM might be upset that you just started at this job and are already talking with other employers; it’s pretty frustrating as an employer to invest time in training someone and then have them leave within a few months (or even ask to go part-time, if the position is intended to be full-time). In that situation, it’s usually good to acknowledge that inconvenience.

But demanding an apology is pretty ridiculous and meaningless (in any situation, including this one). And the fact that someone photographed that info card is weird.

As for what to do now, it would be nice if you were able to honestly say, “I was looking for work that wouldn’t interfere with this job, and I’m taken aback by this reaction” … but it seems like that’s not really true, so in this case I think I’d just wait for your written offer from the new place and then decide if you still want to offer to continue any sort of work for the old place. (Be prepared, though, for the possibility that may not want to, because they could very reasonably feel burned by you moving on soon after they hired you — although that depends in part on the nature of the job.)

2. An interview at “5ish”

What do you think about a general manager who schedules an interview “on the ish”? I have an confirmed interview next Wednesday with the GM, HR, and operations manager at “5ish.” Is this a red flag? Should I run? Bring a book? Does it mean he’s always late, or if I get there 4:50, am I late? I don’t understand a loose time to start a scheduled interview. It seems unprofessional and informal.

It’s weird, and I’d assume it means he might be late, but you should be there at 5. I don’t think it’s something to run away over, but I’d pay attention to what other signs you get about their culture.

3. How far back should your resume go?

How far back should my experience on my resume go?

Currently, I have my work history staring from 2006. I could go further back, but I purposely started there because my most recent job prior to that was only for three months as a receptionist. The company (in investment banking) was sold shortly after I started and due to a non-compete agreement, I was not allowed to move into another position in the private banking part of the company that remained. Also, my job before the receptionist position was only for 8 months because it was a seriously tedious entry-level admin job. Both jobs would of course add another year of experience, but were relatively entry-level. Earlier positions were your average “I’m fresh out of high school” retail jobs that I don’t think employers would really care about.

Am I doing more harm than good by leaving off this early career history? Would it help show that I’m a mid-level career candidate vs. an entry level employee if I share my full work history, or will it just cause more questions and make me look flaky for such short stints early in my career?

Nope, keep it the way you have it. In general, resumes are usually strongest if they go back 10-15 years. It’s rare that anything from before that will strengthen your credentials at this point, particularly versus more recent experience — and that sounds like it’s indeed the case with the pre-2006 jobs you describe.

And you don’t need to worry about appearing like an entry-level candidate if you start it at 2006; that’s 10 years of work experience!

4. My sister has a horrible desk

My sister is an intern in an HR department. One day, she sent me a picture of her desk, complaining that she has no place to put her wallet, phone, or pocketbook. Well, the desk had no drawers. I asked her if there was a closet or filing cabinet nearby, and she said no. Upon further investigation of the picture, I noticed that her desk is facing a white wall. I said, “Why are you facing a wall?” She said, “I have no idea.” So I asked if there was anyone else facing the wall and she said no. I decided not to make a big deal about it.

Now, two weeks later, her boss told her she is going to go with the rest of the HR office employees to another HR location upstate. When the meeting and tour was over, she and all the other visiting HR employees were told they could pick any office to sit and do their work. My sister chose an office, and as soon as she sat down she was told to leave the office because they were going to have a meeting. She was directed to a conference room with a desk facing a white wall, away from all the other employees and closed off. I thing there is something wrong with this whole situation. Do you?

No. It’s pretty normal for interns to get the worst desks/office areas, because they’re short-term employees and the lowest on the food chain. And there’s nothing particularly outrageous about sitting at a desk that faces a white wall; plenty of employees at levels well above her do that.

5. I keep getting final interviews but no offers

I’m an avid reader of your blog and make sure to follow all the protocols for applying to jobs. I’ve been job searching for over a year and have been on over 20 interviews. Many times I’ve made it to the final round of interviews where they’ve even told me it was between me and one or two other people. But I never get the job. I follow up for feedback and it’s always positive. One of them even forwarded my resume to another manager for a new position. I made it to the final round in that one too only to be told that they decided to “go in another direction.” I came to find out later that they hired someone who already worked there. This has happened several times as well where the company just decided to hire internally, but insisted that I was a great candidate. How can I even compete? With so much positive feedback and final round interviews I don’t know what else to do. I’m just getting exhausted, losing valuable time, and getting depressed. What do I do now? How can I stand out?

If you’re routinely getting to the rounds of interviews, you’re probably doing everything right. There’s not really anything you can to avoid being beaten out by internal candidates, and clearly your cover letter, resume, and interviewing skills are good if you’re making it as far in the process as you are. Assuming that you’re confident that your references are enthusiastically recommending you (and that’s something to check if you haven’t already), I think this is really just a waiting game — eventually you’re going to be the finalist who gets the offer.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. My boss knows what I contribute to United Way and is pushing me to give more

I was just recently hired on at a company. I knew going in they were big on working with United Way and there was a mandatory 24 hours of volunteering per year. I am all for giving back and make my fair share of donations throughout the year. What I was not informed about was the expectation that I contribute through my paycheck to United Way. However, knowing the culture of the company, I did authorize a small amount of my paycheck to go to the charity.

Here’s the problem. My manager pulled me aside and said he “strongly urged” me to reconsider adjusting my contribution to a higher amount by about $25/month. I know that seems minimal, but I have a family and several expenses. They hired me on at the same rate I was making before, so this would be a loss of income. They don’t know what my financial situation is.

The bigger deal is: how does he know what I contributed? Isn’t that supposed to be confidential? I’m contributing what I feel is fair and can afford. The impression he gave (and from some research this evening), I get the distinct impression this could adversely affect my career here. If I would have known of this unspoken requirement, I would’ve pushed harder for a higher salary to accommodate this. Am I wrong in thinking that sharing employee contributions is wrong and unethical? Who really has a letter legal right to that info? I get that they may need a total dollar amount for tax purposes but by employee doesn’t seem right.

It’s actually not unusual for your manager to know how much you contributed to a company-side charity drive like this. I share your discomfort with it, but some companies that work with United Way have really high pressure tactics to push donations, and this is one way it sometimes plays out. It’s messed up.

I’d just say this: “More isn’t in my budget.” If you get resistance, call it out directly: “It’s not something I budgeted for, or something that I’m able to do. Is this going to be a problem?”

2. Should LinkedIn profiles be first person or third person?

Should LinkedIn profiles be written in the first or third person? Mine is in the third person and someone commented on how that’s “unusual.” Is it a bad thing?

It’s super common to see them both ways so I wouldn’t worry too much about it, but I do think first person sounds more natural and conversation, which is what you want. After all, it’s not a third-person blurb about you on a book cover or something like that; everyone knows that you wrote it yourself.

3. Writing a thank-you note for an interview I was late to

I just completed an interview that went very well EXCEPT for my one stupid mistake. I arrived late at the interview by 5-10 minutes late. I stuffed my cell phone in my tiny purse to avoid distractions and relied on my watch. When I got to the subway station, I then noticed that my watch’s batteries were dying and it was 30 minutes behind! I didn’t have time to call HR in the subway and taxied over to the building (the ride took 5 minutes).

I am now in the process of writing a thank-you email but have no clue how to address that one mistake. Would thanking them for their understanding and accommodation be good enough?

Assuming that you apologized when you arrived, I don’t know that you need to bring it up again. Maybe as a parenthetical, like “(and thanks again for your graciousness when I was a few minutes late — I was mortified!”), but making a bigger focus of it than that will come across weirdly, I think.

4. Registering for conferences when I might have left my job by the time they happen

My boss recently told me that he’d like to send me to some upcoming conferences for professional development — which is great, as I’ve been at my job for over two years now and really want to learn some new things outside of my office. However, I’ve also been job searching for since the summer and plan to keep doing so, since I’m dissatisfied with my job and my salary (I’ve been refused a raise due to a tight budget, despite glowing performance reviews). Some of the conferences in question are pretty far off — for example, one is in June. There would definitely be enough time for me to find a different job before then, if things worked out.

How exactly do I navigate a situation where I’d like to attend professional development opportunities in the near future but I also want to get out of my current job ASAP, which, if I did, would mean I wouldn’t be available to attend any of those conferences? My boss would be footing the bill, and I don’t know what would happen if I said yes to a conference, he paid for it, and then I got a job somewhere else. I’d hope these conferences would be able to refund money if someone couldn’t attend, but I also don’t want to say no to any conferences that look great but don’t have a “no refund” policy, just on the off chance that I get another job. My boss doesn’t know I’m job searching, so unfortunately I can’t bring it up with him.

Make plans for your current job as if you’re going to be there long-term until you know for sure that you’re not.

People leave jobs all the time with outstanding business trips and conferences that they had planned to attend in the future and now won’t be able to. It’s just a normal part of doing business. Conference registrations are usually either refundable or transferable, but if they’re not, well, that’s just how this stuff goes. It wouldn’t be practical for people to never commit to this kind of thing just because they might leave before the event rolls around.