Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager wants to advertise for “rock stars”

I’m a few weeks into a job where we’re recruiting developers. I’m super junior. My boss wants to “jazz up” our job descriptions–we’re a casual environment, so I softened the language to sound less formal. Cool. But I saw she’s changed the title on one ad to include “rock star.” For a senior role.

I’ve spent some time in start-ups (we’re not one) and until recently was applying to a gazillion jobs. I think that phrase is very cliche and would probably turn off someone with the level of experience we’re looking for. Then I googled to see what actual developers think of it and it seemed BAD, up there with “ninja.” We’re a fantastic, professional company, not one run by kids, and I think we should reflect that in our post. How do I gently tell her this is a bad idea without sounding arrogant?

Keep the focus not on your opinion of the term, but on what you know of others’ opinions of it. For example: “I’ve read a lot online about people hating terms like ‘rock star’ and ‘ninja’ in job postings; my sense is that a lot of good candidates are turned off by it. Would you be okay with me replacing it with ___ instead?”

If she asks you what people don’t like about it, you can explain that people believe it’s a red flag that the company is trying too hard to be cool or edgy (with a term that’s a bit past its prime), or even that it hasn’t fully thought through its job requirements.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. I let my employees volunteer for projects, and the same people keep getting stuck with all the work

I am currently working for a company in the aerospace industry, and I have an issue with the workload of my team. I have a few great employees who have a great work ethic and who I can depend on in a crunch, but I feel that their workload is unbalanced. I am using a wall-Gantt visual board to assign tasks and visibly show small task due dates that the employees have to volunteer for. My main issue is that if no one is signing up for the task, then one of my great employees will step up to the tasks even if they already have enough work to fill the day. How do I go about spreading out the workload?

I thought about having a rotation of employees for the tasks, but some employees are better at a certain tasks than others. I cannot really assign each employee to a task as some tasks occur more often than others. I have also given thought to limit the number of tasks a certain employee can take on until the work load is distributed more evenly. What are your thoughts on this?

You need to start assigning work. Otherwise you’re going to have exactly what you have right now: The best people stepping up when no one else is, resulting in uneven work allocation. Part of your job as a manager is to think about which work is going to which person and ensure that it’s spread out in a way that makes sense.

Limiting how much work someone can take on will just force you to assign work anyway (since your employees who volunteer will be restricted from doing it, and no one else is stepping up), so skip that step and go more directly to assigning work yourself.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t have some degree of volunteering built into your system, but before you decide to keep any amount of that, I’d look at how it’s impacting your best people: are they getting stuck with a disproportionate amount of the undesirable projects? Of course, you don’t need everything to be perfectly proportionate (you might even want to reward the best people’s work ethic by giving them a disproportionate amount of the interesting stuff!), but you do want to ensure that people with initiative don’t end up with worse projects or a higher workload than others.

3. I wasn’t invited to a conference that my manager knew I wanted to attend

Very early on this this year, I spoke to my manager to express interest in attending a particular conference conference and asked her to let me know if there were any complimentary seats. This is a conference that’s directly relevant to my work, with a couple of complimentary seats for our company. Usually my manager and few others from the company go to it.

Last week, my manager announced she is going to the conference this week and will not be available. I was shocked because she had not informed me about this earlier. And today I found out that the only other member from our team (we are a three-person team, including my manager) is also attending the same conference with my manager. I am very hurt and concerned. Shouldn’t my manager have informed me about the conference, since I had expressed interest very early on? Why did she pick my coworker over me? Why did my manager hide the fact that my coworker was attending the conference during last week’s team meeting? And why didn’t my coworker bring it up? It clearly shows stealthy and immature behavior. Should I confront my manager about this? Should I fear for my job?

There are plenty of explanations here other than stealthy and immature behavior: It’s possible that your manager forgot your conversation, since it was many months ago. It’s possible that your coworker asked to go more recently, and that’s all your manager remembered. Or it’s possible that she thought your coworker would benefit more from it for some reason. It’s also possible that no one was hiding this from you but it just didn’t come up in conversation. Or, sure, it’s possible that your interpretation is correct — but I wouldn’t assume that before getting more information.

Talk to your manager. Don’t confront her — that’s more aggressive than this calls for. Just say this: “I was disappointed to learn that I wasn’t on the list for the X conference this year. I don’t know if you remember that I’d asked you earlier this year about going and was really interested because of Y and Z. I’m assuming it’s too late for me to go this year, but would it be possible for me to attend next year?”

Or you could change that ending part to “Could you tell me a bit about how the people who will attend are selected?” — but you’d need to be sure to say it calmly and unemotionally.

4. I wasn’t paid for all my time working in a haunted house

I worked as an actor for a haunted house making minimum wage, thinking it would be a fun way to make a second income during my favorite time of year. Imagine my horror when I received my first paycheck three weeks in, and find out I’m only being paid when the lights are out and visitors are walking through the house. I was not paid for rehearsals, meetings, the time it took to get my makeup done each day (we were told to arrive an hour prior to showtime), or the time it took to clear the line after closing (which could be anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours after the end of my regular shift). I spoke to the owner and my manager, and they both advised me after the fact that all these activities were optional and therefore would not be paid.

I was never told they were optional previous to this time, and I think what they are doing is illegal because it puts me under minimum wage. Is this worth filing a wage dispute? I’ve since resigned and am awaiting my last paycheck.

You need to be paid for those activities because they’re a required part of the job, despite what your manager told you — since I’m assuming that you couldn’t simply decide to skip rehearsals and makeup or to leave at the end of your shift even if customers were still in line. And assuming that the meetings directly related to your work, you need to be paid for those too. I’d file a claim with your state department of labor.

5. How to ask for a coffee meeting with someone doing work that interests me

I recently heard that a new division is opening up within a company I really admire, and I would like to try and set up a meeting with its leader. I’m connected to this person on LinkedIn already, so I would guess that I’m at least somewhat on their radar and that I’m not coming from completely out of the blue. That being said, I’m hesitant to frame this meeting as an informational interview because I don’t think that this is what it is. I’m already employed in this industry, so I’m not (necessarily) inquiring about the field itself. And while I certainly want to hear more about this new division and what they’re looking to accomplish, I’m hoping to use this as more of a potential networking opportunity rather than an informational interview.

In my industry, because it’s so small, networking really is everything, so I’m fairly certain this person will know my reasons for asking to meet with them without me having to explicitly say so. However, what’s the best way to ask someone for a more pointed “informational” meeting? Should I follow the general protocol as requesting an informational interview and casually (but thoughtfully) reach out to them with a “would love to know more about this, would you be interested in having coffee with me” type of message?

Don’t call it an informational interview, because that’s really for people who aren’t yet in the field — and it’s not really what you’re looking for. Just say something like this: “I heard about the new division you’re putting together doing X and it sounds really exciting to me because of Y. My background is in Z, and (add something here that ties it all together and makes it clear why it could make sense for the two of you to connect). I’d love to talk with you and learn more about what you’re doing. Could I buy you coffee sometime soon and talk further?”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Should I get coached by the person who will soon be interviewing me?

I am in a situation where I know I will be contacted this week or next week by an HR representative for a job interview. I was able to get access to his contact information, because the application materials contained pertinent information that I was able to trace back to him.

He advertises a service where he coaches people on doing interviews. The funny idea came in my head, what if I prompted him for interview coaching before our interview, then used his ideologies on him? He made mention that he thinks it’s important to appear as though people want the job, and this would be a very clear indication of that.

Then there’s the creepy factor of it. I took the time out to look up his information, to the point where I know it’s him that will interview me. Does this assertiveness come off as resourceful, or dangerous?

I am somewhat torn, as I know the competition is pretty fierce. This actually has a chance to make me stand out as a candidate, or will get my application binned immediately for any number of complications that could arise. Would this impress you, or creep you out?

Nooo, don’t do that. There’s nothing wrong with doing a bit of research on his professional background, but intentionally using his coaching services in preparation for an interview with him will come across as disingenuous and a little weird. You don’t gain by making your interviewer uncomfortable.

(Plus, it’s probably not possible at this point anyway, since he presumably would recognize your name as someone who he’s slated to interview next week and decline to coach you because of the conflict of interest.)

2. My tattoos will violate my job’s new tattoo policy

For four years, I have worked as a phlebotomist for a large health care organization with 10+ locations and under 30 staff working at a time in a rural area. The main dress code says nothing about tattoos but recently an amendment has been added for nursing staff, allowing no visible tattoos. I’m not technically nursing staff and was not included in the email with the change. We have a staff meeting Monday and I think our boss is going to tell us that we’re included, because we’re such a small department that we usually just get tossed in wherever and that’s fine but … I have multiple smallish girly tattoos in various visible spots.

I am not a people person and I’m easily annoyed, so I wear long sleeves 80% of the time to avoid people asking about them. My job requires a lot of glove use but not the whole time I am with a patient, like while I’m on the computer or setting up and the tattoo on my finger is visible. A Band-Aid or other covering is not hygienic and impossible to accommodate.

I will happily wear long sleeves everyday to cover my arm tattoos, along with sneakers rather than cute flats to cover my foot tattoos, but the tattoo on the back of my neck not covered by my pixie hair cut, and my finger tattoo can’t be covered. (The neck tattoo is the top of a flower, about five inches long, and shows various amounts depending on the shirt.) A turtleneck is out of the question due to non-work-related PTSD effects and I just can’t wear one.

I’m not trying to be difficult; I understand that rule are rules and they get to pick the rules, but how do I go about talking to my boss about being grandfathered in for my two uncoverable tattoos, and what do I say to my coworkers who ask about them? I do on occasion go to different health centers so it’s not just going to be an overall understanding that I get to have some showing, and I can already see people throwing a fit because I think I’m special. Obviously I’ll talk to my boss in private and just stay hushed at the meeting, but what do I say? Do I get it in writing? What if they say no and to find a new job? Am I worrying too much?

I’d say this: “I’m trying to figure out how to comply with this new rule. I have a tattoo on my finger and one on the back of my neck that will be visible. Given that I had these before the new policy, would it be possible to grandfather me in, with the understanding that I won’t get any additional tattoos that would be visible while I’m working here?”

If they say no, you could look into other ways to cover the neck one (makeup or even a bandage?) but it sounds like the finger one might be impossible to cover. If they truly won’t budge on that, it really might mean you’d need to look for other work, but I think you have a good chance of getting them to okay it, given the situation.

3. I’m excluded from events that male coworkers are invited to

Recently, our company hosted a client counsel where some of our larger customers come in to participate in discussions about our product and industries, etc. The event was organized by a management team member, and part of the agenda called for a half-day golf event off-site.

I had no idea about this golf event until the day of. I am the only mid-senior level manager who was not included, and I also happen to be the only mid-senior level manager who is a woman. My direct counterpart (same title) in a different business unit was invited – and he was the golf partner of our CEO!

My direct counterpart also has three years less overall professional experience than me (we are the same age, 30, but he took three years off after college, so I have eight years versus his five years). He also has worked at our current company two years less than me, and makes a substantially larger salary! I know this is none of my business, but I can’t help but let the resentment grow. Not to mention, his output is about 30% of mine.

This is not the first time I have been excluded from these kind of networking and team building events and I am really beginning to get extremely frustrated. How do I approach this? Do I bring it up to my manager? HR?

I’d actually start with HR on this one because it’s an issue of discrimination, and HR is (or should be) trained to take that seriously. I’d say this: “I’ve noticed that I’ve regularly been excluded from networking and team-building events that the men on our team are invited to, most recently the golf outing organized by Rupert. At this point, it’s become a patternthat appears to be based on gender, and I want to make sure that it stops.”

And by the way, while it’s certainly possible that the salary disparity between you and your less experienced colleague has nothing to do with gender, it’s also possible that it does — and particularly against a backdrop where the lone woman on the team is being professionally excluded, that’s something that your company should be concerned about. So you might factor that into your overall picture of how this company treats women as well.

4. Is it normal for really unqualified candidates to apply for jobs?

I direct a mid-sized government agency. I have noticed that when I post a high-level job, such as superintendent of teapot production, I am inundated with applicants who have nothing like the experience required in the job posting. For example, the superintendent position requires a master’s in teapot science, five years of progressively responsible supervisory experience, and seven years of work in the teapot industry. I got about 40 applicants, only five to ten of whom were qualified or close to it. The other thirty were from people who, for example, have a high school diploma and since then have worked as a bank teller. They write things like, “I would be a great fit for this position because I drink tea all the time.”

My postings for these jobs clearly spell out the requirements for the position and even ask applicants to state in their cover letters how they meet the requirements. Am I doing something wrong, or is this normal in government work – or any work? I have done hiring at previous jobs and there was nothing like this level of interest from applicants who are so underqualified.

A follow-up question is: is there any point in responding to these applicants any differently than I would from a qualified applicant who did not make it to the interview stage? It’s tempting, of course, to write rather scathing replies and I wouldn’t actually do that, but should I do anything at all differently?

Yeah, it’s pretty normal. You’ll especially get it if you advertise on big job banks like Monster or Indeed (in fact, I never advertise jobs there for precisely this reason).

I wouldn’t respond to them any differently than you would to anyone else you’re rejecting. That would take you more time anyway, and this isn’t really such an outrageous act that it belongs in “scathing reply” territory. They’re just part of the masses of people who apply to everything they see in the hopes that something sticks (or who are required to apply to a certain number of jobs per week to maintain their unemployment benefits, even if there’s nothing available that they’re qualified for).

5. My manager thinks I’m late when I’m not

I am a non-exempt federal employee. Recently my boss formally announced that anyone who is not at work on time and does not follow the dress code can submit their resignation, transfer to another department, or schedule a meeting with the Employee Assistance Program.

In general, I have no problem with the work schedule or looking professional at work. However, there is no time clock, no timesheet, no objective timekeeper. Today I was in my office by 7:30, but the boss didn’t see me until maybe 7:35 — and she said I was late. I said that I was not late, since I was here on the grounds, in the building, and in my office at 7:30. The boss works in a different building and we don’t see her every morning.

I have been working for about 15 years and definitely realize the importance of arriving on time to work. I have only worked for the federal government for the past two years, and previous jobs have all had an impartial time clock or time sheet, so it was easy to properly account for work time. I really like my job and I love the people I work with (ok, the management not so much) and I get great performance reviews. So…how can you be late if time is relative? Is this a common problem in the federal government?

I have no idea if it’s a common problem in the federal government, but I can tell you that your manager is off-base if she thinks your arrival time doesn’t count until she sees you. Since she’s making a big deal of this, I’d say this to her: “I’m always here on time, but I noticed that you don’t always know that if you don’t see me. Is there a way you’d like me to log my arrival time so that you know that I’m getting here on time?”

And if she tells you that you’re late again when you weren’t, I’d say, “I was at my computer by 7:30. Is there a way for you to check the log-in time of my computer to verify that?”

You might also consider saying, “I’ve never had a problem with lateness, and I’m concerned hat you’ve thought that I’ve been late several times when I was at my desk and working by 7:30. What can I do to clear this up so that you don’t have an inaccurate picture of my punctuality?”

Read an update to this letter here.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss is furious after my coworker pranked her

Today our boss came to my desk to talk to me, in an open office area of about 40 cubicles. Her back was turned to my coworker. As she was talking to me, my coworker pulled out a fake spider and put it in my boss’s shoulder. My boss turned around, yelled, was in shock, and told her, “How dare you! I am afraid of spiders! If you do that again, I will seriously quit!” Sorry to use the obscenity, she then called my coworker an F’ing bitch (but she didn’t abbreviate it), then stormed into her office and slammed the door. Our team sits pretty close to each other and we all just looked at each other in shock. My coworker who played the prank was shaking and tearing up. So she Skyped and emailed our boss an apology.

My coworker became nervous when our boss didn’t respond and kept her door closed. I advised my coworker to give her time and let her cool down. As the day went on, my boss sent me work-related emails and I assumed she would slowly come around.

Later in the day, our boss wrote a complaint to the owner of the company and the HR manager and copied my coworker, who told me that the email said “how dare you do that” and that this is harassment.

I agree what my coworker did was wrong, but can she get fired? I guess it is possible because we live in Florida and it is an at-will state. What are your thoughts?

Legally, yes, she could be fired, but it’s pretty unlikely that she will be. It’s more likely that she’ll be told not to pull pranks on people in the office again, which is a pretty reasonable outcome.

I don’t fault your boss for having a strong initial response; some people are indeed terribly freaked out by this kind of thing (although certainly her reaction sounds a bit … uncontrolled). But it makes no sense that she’d send a letter to the owner or HR; she’s a manager and has the authority on her own to talk to your coworker and make it clear she shouldn’t do something like that again. She doesn’t need to borrow authority from anyone else, or have them handle it for her … and it’s certainly not harassment in the legal sense. I would have expected her to handle it professionally once she’d had a chance to calm down after the initial shock, and it doesn’t seem like that’s happened.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. What’s the deal with “hustle”?

I’m in the midst of a job search and I keep seeing companies (mostly tech) looking specifically for people who “hustle.” To me, this sounds like a generic buzzword (like “fast-paced environment”) that really means that the company is looking for someone who is aggressive and is willing to work long hours.

I’m a hard-working individual who takes pride in doing good work, and who has a reputation for results. I take initiative wherever I can to increase the bottom line or advance strategy, but I’m not sure I “hustle.” What’s your take? Is “hustle” a real thing?

It’s usually used to mean “will figure out what it takes to get something done, even if it’s hard or doesn’t have an immediately obvious pathway.” It usually means persistence, doing the unglamorous work if that’s what’s needed, and generally being industrious and hard-working.

3. My husband is applying for a job in my sister’s department

My husband is applying for a job in a very small department of a university. My sister works under the same boss who is hiring (in a very different role, but under the same person).

My sister thinks my husband should tell her boss that he is related to her up front – like right away if he gets called/emailed for an interview. She is worried that her boss would see it as a conflict to have two people in the same family working there, and that her boss would be annoyed if one of the candidates she’s spent time interviewing was undesirable because of this conflict.

She says if my husband doesn’t tell her boss up front, she’ll go in and tell him her herself. Added to the mix is that my sister is on a contract there and doesn’t want to annoy her boss, which I totally get.

My husband would prefer waiting until he is actually in the interview – to give him a chance to sell himself before telling her something that might cause a conflict of interest. I can see both sides and don’t know what to tell my husband to do – help!

Your sister is the one who has more at stake — this is her job and her boss, so she gets to call the shots. It doesn’t even matter what I think; it’s her prerogative to manage this the way she wants.

That said, I agree with her. I’d be annoyed if I weren’t told about this up-front, because I might not want to have two related people on my team. (The potential for problems or weirdness is high with that set-up.) That doesn’t mean I definitely wouldn’t interview your husband, but it does mean that I’d want to be able to decide that for myself before investing time in interviewing him. And if I were open to hiring him, I’d be a lot more inclined to do it if the two people involved had already demonstrated that they understood how to navigate that situation professionally by giving me a heads-up about it early on.

4. Reapplying for a job that I turned down over salary

I work in higher ed and last year interviewed for and was offered a job at a different college from where I currently work. I would have loved to take the job, but it added a commute where I have none, and offered less than my current salary, which they weren’t able to move on during an attempt at negotiations.

A friend and former colleague works at this new college and was on the hiring committee. They ended up offering the job to other candidates after me and weren’t able to pay enough for any of them to move over either. The position was just reposted this week, and my friend told me in confidence that the budget had officially been increased to where the midpoint is more than what I’d asked for during negotiations, and the minimum was still more than my current salary.

My friend would like for me to reapply. While I’m interested, it just feels odd to approach it like I’d not applied before, when all parties know it was salary that was a sticking point. Do you have any advice on how I should phrase it in my cover letter or if I’m asked to do another interview?

If it weren’t higher ed, I’d say to just email the hiring manager and say that you saw the position was reposted and that you’d love to talk again if she doesn’t think salary would end up being a sticking point again. Higher ed tends to have more rigid hiring processes, so you may need to actually do the entire formal re-application. In doing that, I’d just mention in your cover letter that you really enjoyed getting to know them and the role during the hiring process last year and that although you couldn’t come to terms on salary then, you’d love the opportunity to talk with them again.

5. What are the signs of a successful phone interview?

I completed a phone interview with a hiring manager 10 days ago. I thought it went pretty well – it felt more like a conversation, and the interviewer went into great detail explaining the job tasks to me, as well as other information such as vacation days and working hours.

The location of the job vacancy is in my home country (where I also completed my university degree), and not where I’m residing right now – hence the phone interview. She asked me if I was visiting any time in the near future and when I told her no, but I’d be more than happy to fly over should they need me too, she quickly responded with “no, it was just a question.” Besides that, I was able to answer all of her questions, some with okay answers and some with great answers. She kept saying things like “fair enough” and “makes sense.” At the end of the interview, I made sure to ask her several questions about the role and the company, which she again answered in detail. She then told me that they were still interviewing a pool of candidates and that they try to get back to all candidates within two weeks, and that if I were successful, I’d have one more interview. Before closing, she mentioned that I should email her with any questions that I had, and that I should follow up with her if I don’t hear back in two weeks’ time.

I’ve been worried mostly because they were quick in every previous step of the process. I was contacted one week after I applied for an initial phone interview, and one week after that to arrange for this interview. I also feel like some of the things she said could be interpreted in different ways. So what are the signs of a successful phone interview?

The sign of a successful phone interview is that you get offered another interview. Seriously, that’s it. People have phone interviews that seem to go great and then never hear back again. And people have phone interviews that they’re sure they flubbed and they get invited for another interview. Instead of trying to figure out if they want to keep talking to you (which you’ll know eventually, as this plays out), focus on figuring out if you want to keep talking to them, whether the role and company sound like the right fit for you, and what additional questions you have for them.