Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss is furious after my coworker pranked her

Today our boss came to my desk to talk to me, in an open office area of about 40 cubicles. Her back was turned to my coworker. As she was talking to me, my coworker pulled out a fake spider and put it in my boss’s shoulder. My boss turned around, yelled, was in shock, and told her, “How dare you! I am afraid of spiders! If you do that again, I will seriously quit!” Sorry to use the obscenity, she then called my coworker an F’ing bitch (but she didn’t abbreviate it), then stormed into her office and slammed the door. Our team sits pretty close to each other and we all just looked at each other in shock. My coworker who played the prank was shaking and tearing up. So she Skyped and emailed our boss an apology.

My coworker became nervous when our boss didn’t respond and kept her door closed. I advised my coworker to give her time and let her cool down. As the day went on, my boss sent me work-related emails and I assumed she would slowly come around.

Later in the day, our boss wrote a complaint to the owner of the company and the HR manager and copied my coworker, who told me that the email said “how dare you do that” and that this is harassment.

I agree what my coworker did was wrong, but can she get fired? I guess it is possible because we live in Florida and it is an at-will state. What are your thoughts?

Legally, yes, she could be fired, but it’s pretty unlikely that she will be. It’s more likely that she’ll be told not to pull pranks on people in the office again, which is a pretty reasonable outcome.

I don’t fault your boss for having a strong initial response; some people are indeed terribly freaked out by this kind of thing (although certainly her reaction sounds a bit … uncontrolled). But it makes no sense that she’d send a letter to the owner or HR; she’s a manager and has the authority on her own to talk to your coworker and make it clear she shouldn’t do something like that again. She doesn’t need to borrow authority from anyone else, or have them handle it for her … and it’s certainly not harassment in the legal sense. I would have expected her to handle it professionally once she’d had a chance to calm down after the initial shock, and it doesn’t seem like that’s happened.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. What’s the deal with “hustle”?

I’m in the midst of a job search and I keep seeing companies (mostly tech) looking specifically for people who “hustle.” To me, this sounds like a generic buzzword (like “fast-paced environment”) that really means that the company is looking for someone who is aggressive and is willing to work long hours.

I’m a hard-working individual who takes pride in doing good work, and who has a reputation for results. I take initiative wherever I can to increase the bottom line or advance strategy, but I’m not sure I “hustle.” What’s your take? Is “hustle” a real thing?

It’s usually used to mean “will figure out what it takes to get something done, even if it’s hard or doesn’t have an immediately obvious pathway.” It usually means persistence, doing the unglamorous work if that’s what’s needed, and generally being industrious and hard-working.

3. My husband is applying for a job in my sister’s department

My husband is applying for a job in a very small department of a university. My sister works under the same boss who is hiring (in a very different role, but under the same person).

My sister thinks my husband should tell her boss that he is related to her up front – like right away if he gets called/emailed for an interview. She is worried that her boss would see it as a conflict to have two people in the same family working there, and that her boss would be annoyed if one of the candidates she’s spent time interviewing was undesirable because of this conflict.

She says if my husband doesn’t tell her boss up front, she’ll go in and tell him her herself. Added to the mix is that my sister is on a contract there and doesn’t want to annoy her boss, which I totally get.

My husband would prefer waiting until he is actually in the interview – to give him a chance to sell himself before telling her something that might cause a conflict of interest. I can see both sides and don’t know what to tell my husband to do – help!

Your sister is the one who has more at stake — this is her job and her boss, so she gets to call the shots. It doesn’t even matter what I think; it’s her prerogative to manage this the way she wants.

That said, I agree with her. I’d be annoyed if I weren’t told about this up-front, because I might not want to have two related people on my team. (The potential for problems or weirdness is high with that set-up.) That doesn’t mean I definitely wouldn’t interview your husband, but it does mean that I’d want to be able to decide that for myself before investing time in interviewing him. And if I were open to hiring him, I’d be a lot more inclined to do it if the two people involved had already demonstrated that they understood how to navigate that situation professionally by giving me a heads-up about it early on.

4. Reapplying for a job that I turned down over salary

I work in higher ed and last year interviewed for and was offered a job at a different college from where I currently work. I would have loved to take the job, but it added a commute where I have none, and offered less than my current salary, which they weren’t able to move on during an attempt at negotiations.

A friend and former colleague works at this new college and was on the hiring committee. They ended up offering the job to other candidates after me and weren’t able to pay enough for any of them to move over either. The position was just reposted this week, and my friend told me in confidence that the budget had officially been increased to where the midpoint is more than what I’d asked for during negotiations, and the minimum was still more than my current salary.

My friend would like for me to reapply. While I’m interested, it just feels odd to approach it like I’d not applied before, when all parties know it was salary that was a sticking point. Do you have any advice on how I should phrase it in my cover letter or if I’m asked to do another interview?

If it weren’t higher ed, I’d say to just email the hiring manager and say that you saw the position was reposted and that you’d love to talk again if she doesn’t think salary would end up being a sticking point again. Higher ed tends to have more rigid hiring processes, so you may need to actually do the entire formal re-application. In doing that, I’d just mention in your cover letter that you really enjoyed getting to know them and the role during the hiring process last year and that although you couldn’t come to terms on salary then, you’d love the opportunity to talk with them again.

5. What are the signs of a successful phone interview?

I completed a phone interview with a hiring manager 10 days ago. I thought it went pretty well – it felt more like a conversation, and the interviewer went into great detail explaining the job tasks to me, as well as other information such as vacation days and working hours.

The location of the job vacancy is in my home country (where I also completed my university degree), and not where I’m residing right now – hence the phone interview. She asked me if I was visiting any time in the near future and when I told her no, but I’d be more than happy to fly over should they need me too, she quickly responded with “no, it was just a question.” Besides that, I was able to answer all of her questions, some with okay answers and some with great answers. She kept saying things like “fair enough” and “makes sense.” At the end of the interview, I made sure to ask her several questions about the role and the company, which she again answered in detail. She then told me that they were still interviewing a pool of candidates and that they try to get back to all candidates within two weeks, and that if I were successful, I’d have one more interview. Before closing, she mentioned that I should email her with any questions that I had, and that I should follow up with her if I don’t hear back in two weeks’ time.

I’ve been worried mostly because they were quick in every previous step of the process. I was contacted one week after I applied for an initial phone interview, and one week after that to arrange for this interview. I also feel like some of the things she said could be interpreted in different ways. So what are the signs of a successful phone interview?

The sign of a successful phone interview is that you get offered another interview. Seriously, that’s it. People have phone interviews that seem to go great and then never hear back again. And people have phone interviews that they’re sure they flubbed and they get invited for another interview. Instead of trying to figure out if they want to keep talking to you (which you’ll know eventually, as this plays out), focus on figuring out if you want to keep talking to them, whether the role and company sound like the right fit for you, and what additional questions you have for them.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. Responding to an unusually kooky job application

My colleagues and I are having a debate and wanted your opinion. I recently started advertising for a new position that would ultimately report to my manager, but I’m doing the bulk of the hiring. I got a completely bizarre application from a candidate today. (Note: The letter-writer sent the application along. Bizarre is practically an understatement; it’s either a horribly failed attempt to be funny or the work of someone who’s had a break with reality.)

Clearly, someone told this kid that crap like this was a good idea. My instinct is not to say anything and just dump his resume in the No pile, but some of my colleagues disagree. They think it would be funny to schedule a phone interview to see if this guy is as nutty as he seems. I think that might give him the wrong idea that a “resume” like this will get responses. If I provide any response, I think it would be an email letting him know how out of touch this approach is with what hiring managers want to see and that he should stop this nonsense immediately. We’ve agreed to put the question to you to help us decide what to do.

Don’t schedule a phone interview with someone you have no intention of hiring just to assess his nuttiness. Most people share particularly weird resumes with colleagues, but actually taking up the guy’s time for the purpose of mocking him later would be cruel. And yes, you’re right that it would signal to him that this is a reasonable approach when it’s so far from it.

I actually think what he submitted is so beyond the realm of anything remotely acceptable (we’re not talking poor resume format and using an objective; we’re talking eight full pages of a ranting narrative) that I wouldn’t even try to give him helpful feedback. He either knows he’s breaking all known resume rules and thinks he’s being delightfully subversive, or he’s troubled in a way that you as a stranger can’t help with. Either way, a standard rejection is all I’d do here.

2. How can I follow up on my manager’s mention of a possible promotion?

I had my annual review yesterday and it went great–nothing but glowing feedback from my manager for the 6th year in a row. But the possible promotion she’d mentioned in last year’s review seems to have vanished. It wasn’t included in the written evaluation or the review meeting, and I didn’t know a good way to ask about it as the meeting wrapped up. I doubt she just forgot, considering she copied and pasted several chunks of my prior review because they also applied this year. I’d like to broach the topic with my manager, just to say I’m still interested and would like to know what I can do to be a good candidate, but I’m not sure how to phrase it. Is there direct-report-speak for “I guess this year didn’t work out, but maybe next year?”

You should ask! And not in an “I guess this year didn’t work out way either.” Go to her now — as in early next week, because this gets weirder if you wait — and say this: “I really appreciated your feedback in our review meeting. Last year, you’d mentioned that a promotion might be possible soon. Is that something that we could talk about?”

Read an update to this letter here.

3. Employer is pressuring us to donate to a lobbying group

My boss and CEO is the head of a local lobbying group for the industry our company works in. Everyone in our company was asked to donate to the lobbying group in order to help get politicians elected to make life easier for the industry. We were then directly contacted if we did not write a check for the cause by a certain date. I morally oppose writing a check because I do not donate to politicians or political groups; I donate my vote to politicians if I agree with them. Is it legal for my boss to ask us to do this and then pressure us when we did not comply immediately?

It depends on exactly what your boss is doing. Under FEC regulations, an employer cannot coerce you into making a political contribution by threatening a detrimental job action. But it’s tougher when it’s not an open threat but rather more subtle pressure. Employers can indeed encourage employees to participate in the political process (including by donating) and it’s legal for employers to simply encourage employees to vote a particular way … and obviously there’s a fine line between doing that and outright threatening someone’s job.

4. I pushed back against Boss’s Day — and it worked

Just a quick note to tell you what happened at work this week. Our manager emailed our team and said, “Tomorrow is Boss’s Day. Let’s put our heads together to figure out a gift for Mr. Director.” I replied (privately, just to the manager), “I think that some boss’s are uncomfortable with their employees ‘gifting up’ to them. I don’t know if Director is, but I think I will sit out Boss’s Day this year.”. She then sent another email to the group that said, “I’ll pick up a card tomorrow and pass around for the team to sign; let’s just do that this year.”

Wooo hooo! It was so easy!

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker is claiming reimbursements for fake expenses

I recently was hired by a touring theater company. It fit in with my 9-5 job (I have lots of flexibility), so I took it. The pay for being a non-professional show is FANTASTIC, and they reimburse us for gas to and from rehearsals and performances, which is pretty unusual. The cast is four of us, and two of us (including me) have cars. This means that there is quite a bit of carpooling, because the cast is responsible for getting to shows that don’t require overnight stays (for overnight stays there is bus transportation). The other cast member with a car and I split the driving in half.

I don’t really need the money that comes from this gig. It’s definitely a plus, but I accepted the job because I love performing and traveling. I also know that they are nonprofit, and are not exactly rolling in dough. I’m very surprised that they’re able to pay us as well as they are. I decided early on that I was only going to be requesting reimbursement for trips that were 50+ miles, both with their expenses in mind and my own sanity. Theres a lot of driving, and with two jobs I don’t have the time to calculate all that. I don’t know how the other driver is calculating his miles, because its not really my business.

However, one of the cast members without a car, Fergus, found out and is really upset! He doesn’t understand that reimbursement is not “extra money,” but for wear and tear, gas, and maintenance of the car. It’s not a bonus. This gig is his only income, and he is openly resenting me for taking the opportunity to get extra money from him, even though he doesn’t have a car! The company doesn’t monitor who is actually doing the driving, and I have heard, through the other cast member without a car, that Fergus is planning on trying to get reimbursement for the miles I didn’t request already! I confronted Fergus, and he said that by me not requesting reimbursement, the money was up for grabs. Not only is this super unethical, but frankly, it’s just stupid. Fergus has also been doing funny things with the daily food per diem we are given. We pay up front and turn in receipts. He’ll bring his own food, then I’ve actually seen him scrounge around for other peoples receipts in the garbage or approach strangers and up front ask for theirs! One time whenwe were performing at a casino Fergus spent all his allotted per diem on slot machines, and altered a receipt to get re-imbursed for it!

This is Fergus’ first gig of this nature after graduating college and I don’t want to ruin his reputation, because gigs like this are few and far between. Should I confront him again? How do I let the woman in charge of paychecks know about this? Am I wrong to not request reimbursement? Should I let it go and let Fergus request the money? We don’t have an on site stage manager or director who would be able to help; everyone is only available via email.

Wow. Fergus is basically stealing from your employer. As you note, mileage reimbursements are to cover the driver’s expenses (the gas and wear and tear on a car); it’s not money that’s just hanging around for anyone to grab. And getting receipts from strangers or out of the trash and turning them in as if they’re his own for reimbursement?! That’s even further over the line; it’s deliberate and outright fraud.

Because he’s young, you could do him the favor of giving him one clear warning: “Fergus, you might not realize it, but what you’re doing is fraudulent. It could get you fired. And I could get fired for knowing about it and not saying anything. So you need to stop, or I’m going to have to tell (manager) what’s going on.”

And then if you see that it’s continuing, do tell someone in authority. It doesn’t matter that they’re not on-site; email is perfectly fine for this, or you can ask if you can give them a call about something sensitive if you’re more comfortable than that. But this is theft, and you should speak up.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. Telling a recruiter about a rude interviewer

I’ve been in the late stages of interviewing for two roles at a large international company that I’ll call MegaTech. Today I had my final three interviews of six. All went fine until the last interview. This very senior interviewer, who was supposed to be testing my leadership skills, instead decided to test how well I do arithmetic under pressure (quite well – I’m an experienced analyst!). He had a very strong accent so sometimes I couldn’t understand what he said, and he seemed angry when I asked him to repeat. At one stage he said, What if x goes up,” then later insisted that he’d said “What if x goes down?” He didn’t give me enough time to write everything down as he was saying it but would be upset and condescending if 5 minutes later I couldn’t remember a certain figure. I got a bit flustered at his hostility so was probably less competent than usual, but kept it together. I felt like ending the video conference but continued on.

The second question he asked me went slightly better, but the final answer was a feature that MegaTech has never announced to the world. I would have no way of knowing about it. All the while he was looking at his phone or away from the screen, and I had the distinct feeling he didn’t want to be there. It was the worst interview I’ve ever had.

Since this is someone I’d be working quite closely with in either role, I’m withdrawing from the application process. The location/salary weren’t ideal anyway but working with people who make me cry is where I draw the line. My question is whether or not I should tell the recruiter what happened – she’s very curious but I don’t have any investment in the outcome, as I’m sure they’re not going to censure one of their directors over a bad interview. And did I do the wrong thing by withdrawing? MegaTech is supposed to have a fantastic culture but one bad apple would be enough to make it hard to go to work every day.

Nope, you didn’t do anything wrong by withdrawing; part of the point of interviewing is for you to assess whether this is a job and coworkers you’d want. If this is someone you’d be working closely with, it’s reasonable to decide you’d rather not.

I don’t think you have anything to lose by telling the recruiter, as long as you do it politely and professionally, and it’ll probably be satisfying. On the other hand, you don’t have an obligation to help them improve their hiring process, and if you’d rather not, you’re perfectly entitled to say something like, “I didn’t think I’d click well with one of the people I’d be working closely with” or even nothing at all. (If it’s a recruiter you plan to work with in the future, though, giving some feedback is a good idea so that you don’t come across as uncommunicative.)

3. Employee is being very cagey with his flu shot form

This year our company is offering free flu shots to our employees, as most companies are. The vendor who will be administering the flu shots has asked that the employees fill out the consent forms in advance to the flu clinic. There is an employee who refuses to give me the consent form, indicating that “I prefer to give my completed form to the nurse as I always have done.”

This employee is the only one who is behaving this way. What do you think this is all about?

Privacy, I’d imagine. If the form is nothing but his name and signature and doesn’t contain any medical info, I’m not sure why he’s taking a stand (although it may be a reaction to the increasing privacy infringements that many companies are inflicting upon employees). But if that’s his preference, I’d just let him do it that way, assuming it doesn’t cause any real issue for you or the vendor.

4. Asking about why a job is available

I am in an interview process that is going really well. I was online and saw the name of the previous employee in the role I am interviewing for still listed on the company website. I decided to look the person up on LinkedIn to see what the responsibilities were in their words. I noticed the person was only in the job for a year and then left. How can I ask about why the role is vacant? I would hate to work somewhere where the reputation is high turnover.

You can definitely ask your interviewer, “Can you tell me why this job is open?” You can also ask, “How long have the last few people in the job stayed?”

5. Reminding a new job I’ll be out for maternity leave four weeks after starting

A long time ago, I applied for a job famous for a long process. In the meantime, I got pregnant. It wasn’t obvious in the first interview, but I did tell them when they offered me the job, and it wasn’t a problem.

However, it took another few months for the official offer. The organization is really huge, and now I am talking to someone from a completely different department. At the time of the interview, I was in my first trimester. Now I’m in the third, and the starting date they offered me is barely four weeks before my due date. I was hoping to start sooner and work longer before giving birth.

I am willing to start at the date they suggested, but I am not sure how to remind them of the fact that I’d be working less than a month before my leave. I feel great, the pregnancy is going perfectly and there is no reason to expect that to change, but it is a little close. (I get the usual leave and medical; that part is standard with them so it’s not a problem.) After the interview, all communication has been through email and my acceptance of the starting date will be an email as well.

Just be straightforward: “I’d be glad to start on (date), but I want to make sure you remember that I’m pregnant and due on (date). We talked about this at the time of the offer, but it’s been a while so I want to make sure it didn’t slip off your radar! Because that would have me only working for four weeks before I’m due, I’d love to start earlier if that possible. Any chance of making that work?”