Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My former manager is trash-talking my new manager

Until three months ago, I had major problems with my manager, who in my opinion bullied me. After taking the issue to her manager and to HR, I was assigned the same manager as she has, which was communicated as a reorganization. This has also meant that she has had product responsibility removed, although she is still managing a smaller team. Two more coworkers have been removed from her and now report to a different person. She did not like these changes and no longer speaks to me or makes eye contact.

Since then, she has started undermining her (and now my) manager behind his back, but very openly in an open plan office. She would gossip about his apparent lack of competence, etc. to one of her direct reports, another peer, and people from other teams. I do not engage in this and see our manager as a strong leader. With her unprofessional behavior, she is creating a divide in the office between her followers, mainly recent graduates who listen and engage in the gossip, and those who do not. Just today they were discussing his “motives.” Due to the bad experience I had with her, I can see where this will go and worry that she may take her gossip to a higher level, tell lies, and somehow convince senior management about the apparent lack of skills of my manager. It happened to me and it took me a long time to realize this has been going on. Luckily my complaints were taken seriously and changes were made.

How should I behave? I do not want to witness this kind of unprofessional behavior from someone who manages a team and is one of the most senior people in our office, and I wonder whether there is anything I can do to make her or someone else aware of this behavior and get it to stop. I am not friends with everyone in this office but strongly believe it should be possible to work together in a safe environment.

I’d give your mutual manager a discreet heads-up: “Hey, I feel awkward raising this, but I feel like this has the potential to be harmful to you and you’d want to know. I regularly hear Lucinda complaining about you and your work to Jane, Fergus, and other teams, and my sense is that she’s trying to stir up animosity toward you. I think you’re a great manager and her assessment is way off-base, and I’ve heard it enough from her now that I felt like I need to mention it to you before it goes further.”

2. We can all figure out each other’s salaries

I work at a consulting firm where our billing rates can be seen by all staff. For the majority of staff, the billing rates are tied to our salaries using a multiplier. Basically this means that by doing a simple calculation, you can see, within a few thousand dollars, what everyone’s salaries are.

I feel so awkward having people know my salary. Obviously those who advocate for themselves and asking for raises are going to have higher salaries and therefore higher billing rates. This leads to questions and snide comments from others (our office tends to be catty) about why some people get paid more and “don’t deserve it.” When someone rises in billing rate quickly, they’re seen as spoiled and entitled. When someone has a low billing rate, they’re seen as unintelligent, lazy, or not progressing. And everyone knows!

How can I handle this part of my job? I feel very exposed having everyone know my salary.

The issue isn’t the pay transparency; it’s your coworkers’ immature reactions to it.

Lots of organizations make salary public (pretty much all government agencies, for example) and it works out just fine and without this kind of pettiness and backbiting. In fact, a lot of people would like to see more employers moving to transparent pay because it makes it much easier to spot patterns of discrimination based on things like gender or race. It also allows you to see how your company values different positions and performance, which is a good thing … and can give you lots of insight when you’re thinking about asking for a raise, applying for a promotion, or job searching somewhere else.

Your company’s management is dropping the ball here by not addressing this more openly and clearly and putting a stop to the crappy remarks.

3. Making a complaint about another store in the franchise that I work for

I am employed part time by a franchise with coffee shops all over my country (Ireland). I am currently employed in a store in my home town, but there is also a store near my college, which is in another city. I have been to the coffee shop next to my college three times in the last two months, and each time that I have been there I have been appalled by the apathetic customer service, the level of uncleanliness and the general low standard of the coffees and other beverages being made and served. While other members of the public may be okay with the service that they are receiving from these employees, I am aware that they are not operating both to the standards that the company expects, or to the standards of the national health authorities of the country.

Were I an ordinary customer, I would lodge a complaint with the company, but given that I am an employee, I am unsure of how to proceed. Would it be inappropriate to complain? Could it negatively affect my own position?

I really love this company, I feel that they value their employees and they treat them well, and were I not studying a completely different area in college, I would be satisfied to continue working for them my whole life. To see other employees completely disregarding the standards of the company and delivering such poor service has really annoyed me, and I would like to lodge a complaint. Would you agree? How should I proceed?

This is actually something I’d mention to your manager — as in, “I keep noticing X and Y when I visit store Z. I know we’d never do that here, and I wondered if it’s worth mentioning to anyone?” If your manager agrees, ideally she’d then pass the message along to whoever’s appropriate to tell (since she has more standing to do it through official channels than you do).

4. Invited for a second meeting but haven’t heard anything about scheduling it

I was recently recruited (poached) for an interview through LinkedIn, and after the first interview with three partners, I am really excited about the opportunity of joining the company. I sent personal thank-you emails to all who attended the lunch meeting. The director of operations responded a couple days later, saying they enjoyed meeting me and wanted to invite me for a follow-up meeting for either lunch or after hours at a local restaurant. Considering the tone of our first interview and their overly generous comments about how well a fit I would be in the company, I felt very confident this was probably going to be when they gave me an offer. I politely responded suggesting a couple times this week and have not heard back. It has only technically been a couple days without response but I’m very curious about what is going on. Should I send an email checking in on the meeting time/date? Not sure what my best plan of action is and am a little stumped considering this is not a job I actively sought out but am now highly interested in.

I wouldn’t assume that the request for a second meeting was to make you an offer; it could be that, but it also could simply be a second interview.

The delay could be because they’re working out questions about the position or people’s conflicting schedules, or zeroing in on another candidate, or dealing with totally unrelated things that are a higher priority. They might get back to you to schedule, or they might do the rude but common thing of just never getting back to you because they’ve decided to move forward with other candidates.

It would be fine to check back (I’d wait a week after the last contact though), but also keep in mind that if they’re interested, they’ll reach out eventually.

5. Employees have to make up vacation time by working on the weekends

Employee (traveling salesperson) has four weeks paid vacation. Employer said he has to make up all four weeks by working weekends or he will be fired. Many weekend remodeling plans and family events are now cancelled due to this. He said only sick days and holidays will not have to be made up and the first person to complain is out the door. Can he do this?

We’re in New Hampshire but the employer is in Michigan (owned by an international German company).

This is governed by the laws of the state where you’re working, so New Hampshire laws apply. Like other states, New Hampshire doesn’t require employers to provide vacation time — but if employers promise vacation time (such as through written policies like employee handbooks or in offer letters), in most cases they’re legally bound to provide it. I’m not a lawyer and you’d need to consult with one to tell you for sure, but I’d think that what this employer is doing flies in the face of that.

Regardless, though, this employer sucks in a big way and its employees should be competing to be the first out the door, rather than taking that as a threat.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker got a vendor’s employee fired … and I want to help the fired employee

I work for a company that hires an outside company to run our mailroom. When the guy who had worked in our mailroom retired, that company sent a replacement, Kathy. We loved her; she was breath of fresh air, very approachable and easy to work with. She had an excellent work ethic and always eager to help the staff in our building. Unfortunately, she and the person she technically worked under (Dawn) butted heads. I can understand Dawn calling that company and asking for a different person because they didn’t get along; we would all be sad that Kathy was gone, but we could keep in touch when she was placed at a different company. But that’s not what happened. Dawn instead called Kathy’s boss and told her things that weren’t true, like that she lacked customer service skills, had a bad attitude, and was difficult to work with. 

Yet the reality is that Dawn is the one who cannot get along with anyone; she is very rude to everyone in our building, very condescending, and thinks everyone is below her. She tends to pick on people, and I am speaking from experience. In any case, Dawn made such a fuss with that other company that instead of replacing Kathy, they fired her.

There are numerous people throughout my company who are appalled that this has happened to Kathy and would like to contact that other company and tell them what Dawn said about Kathy simply isn’t true and how much we all loved working with her. We all believe her dismissal was unjustified and would like to tell the other company what a joy she was to work with.

Is there anyway this can be done without causing problems? Can we write letters or sign petitions, or is anything we can do to help Kathy maybe get her job back?

I think it depends on who handles the contract with that company. Hopefully it’s not Dawn but instead is someone above her, and you could talk to that person about what happened and share your desire to reach out to the company that staffs the mailroom. However, it’s really that person’s call; they manage that relationship and they need to be able to call the shots on it, not have letters or petitions from your company going out to the mailroom company without their approval.

Meanwhile, someone should talk to Dawn’s boss about the fact that she appears to have gotten someone fired without justification, as well as about the other concerns you have about how she treats colleagues.

All that said, do be aware that it’s possible there’s more to the story that you don’t know, and you want to approach the whole thing with that in mind. While Kathy sounds like a nice person and Dawn doesn’t, it’s possible that Dawn did have legitimate concerns about her work, which is another reason not to contact the company without the okay of whoever in your company manages that contract.

2. We’re all suffering because our dating coworkers broke up

I have two coworkers who have dated and lived together for seven years. They recently went through a messy breakup, and now other staff members – mostly myself – are being asked to rearrange our shifts so they don’t have to work the same shift together. We are a very small staff, so I didn’t mind helping out to keep the peace. Now, their requests are interfering with my typical days off (Saturdays, Fridays), so I’m increasingly having to adjust my schedule – and now, even a vacation – to make accommodations for the end of their relationship. It’s been a month now, with no signs of our management improving the situation.

Is there a way for me to “manage up” here, or do you have any recommendations for how to best assert my needs and also alert folks that this situation is not okay? I feel like I’m the only one.

I’d say this: “I was willing adjust my schedule a few times, but it’s not something I can keep doing. And I can’t change my vacation dates.”

If you get pushback from your manager and you have decent rapport with her, then I’d say this: “It doesn’t seem reasonable for Fergus and Jane to expect other people to rearrange our shifts because they don’t want to work together. I’d hope that anyone who has a personal conflict with another employee would be able to be professional at work, and not place the burden of their conflict on other people. If that’s not something they can realistically do, what’s the plan for making sure that this doesn’t continue to impact the rest of us?”

3. Nervous about starting new job and not knowing much about the team I’ll work with

I recently accepted a new job that I’m excited about. I start in about 3 weeks. I do like my current job, which I’ve been in for about a year and a half now. It was my first real job after graduating from grad school, and I’ve learned a ton. The best part? I’ve become extremely close with about three women there, and I dare say they have become some of my best friends.

I’ve been looking for a different job for about four months now, and was surprised how quickly I was able to land a new one. It has a slightly higher salary, and definitely more experience and autonomy. My question is…now that I have the new job, I feel so much anxiety about leaving and I’ve actually started to doubt my decision. The source of most of my nerves is that I haven’t met any of the members of the new team I will be joining, except the woman that will be my new boss. She’s been the one interviewing me and along with HR, has been my only point of contact with the new company. Is it normal not to meet the members of the department you will be joining before starting a new job? I really like my new boss and the company I’m joining, but I definitely feel some anxiety leaving my best friends for a team I’ve never met. Any tips or advice?

Yep, it’s not not uncommon to only meet the manager and not the full team. And it’s very, very normal to feel anxious about leaving a familiar job for a new one.

For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t go into any job expecting or even wanting to make best friends there. It’s nice if you can develop close relationships at work, but there can be real downsides and complications to that too. Ultimately what really matters is whether you have pleasant coworkers who are good at their jobs, easy to work with, and people you can learn from.

4. Boss flies first class while the rest of us are in coach

Is it illegal in any way for my boss to always fly first class while explicitly telling myself and other lower employees to fly economy class? The flights are for business (obviously). Just curious!

Nope, that’s perfectly legal (and not terribly uncommon; the idea is that there are perks of seniority).

5. Confusing health insurance forms from former employer

I was recently laid off from a small company (fewer than 10 employees). This employer had provided me with insurance throughout my tenure, and notified me that our insurance benefits would be ending shortly after I’d been laid off (I was given the option to purchase a COBRA plan through this employer, but didn’t wish to do so). I subsequently signed up for health insurance through the Healthcare Marketplace, and am about to pay my first premium to officially enroll in the plan. Recently, my former coworkers and I received an email from our former employer asking us to complete some forms to “terminate coverage.”

Upon inspection, these look to be enrollment forms; they say nothing about termination or the like, and seem to assume the person completing them is an active employee of the company. Based on the email from my employer, it seems as though he is asking us to “waive” our option to be covered through the company even though he isn’t actually offering us that option at all.

I suspect that the employer is attempting to maintain the same group policy we previously had by making it look as though we former employees are still employed by him (thus qualifying him to purchase a group plan), and that we are merely declining the coverage he’s offering. I am concerned about jeopardizing my right to coverage through the Healthcare Marketplace because the application I completed asked me if my employer was offering me insurance and I replied in the negative.

Am I correct to think that this is, if not actually illegal, at least unethical?

If your suspicion is correct, absolutely. But that might not be the case; I’m pretty sure that I remember at least one case in my own experience where an employer’s insurance termination form was the same as its enrollment form. But you definitely shouldn’t sign anything that isn’t completely clear to you, so as a next step I’d contact your former employer and get more clarity about exactly what the forms are for.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworkers are joking that I got my promotion by sleeping with my boss

I have been working in a French start-up for the past six months. Most of the employees here are 20-30 years old, and the atmosphere is relaxed and informal. I have always had very good and friendly relationships with my colleagues.

Three weeks ago, my boss (who also is the founder of the company) promoted me to a managing position, which is especially unusual given my young age and his habitual reluctance to hand down responsabilities.

Apart from some expected envy, I encountered some reactions I did not expect. Some of my colleagues now felt entitled to make salacious jokes about my boss and me. For instance, when I told the big news to a couple of colleagues, one answered with a wink: “OMG, you are far better at it than I expected…” I just laughed and blushed, because I knew he wasn’t serious (I’m a woman, everyone here assumes my boss is gay, and most of my colleagues know I’m in a serious relationship anyway).

I thought these comments would slowly vanish, but it turned out they didn’t. I guess my colleagues know it embarrasses me and simply think it’s funny to tease me, without understanding how hurtful these comments are. I tried to give my colleagues a hint of what I felt about these jokes: I stopped laughing. Instanstly, I received “oh come on, relax! it’s a just a joke” comments.

I’m afraid some new employees might take these jokes seriously and assume I really have made my way like this. I’d like to make these jokes stop, without being labeled as a killjoy if possible.

I’d recommend finding a way to be fine with being labeled a killjoy if that’s what it takes to stop these comments. They’re insulting and they’re incredibly inappropriate for a workplace — and that’s compounded by the fact that they’ve apparently become an ongoing thing. Being a killjoy to people who are that out of line isn’t something to be avoided at all costs. (And I don’t mean that in a schoolmarmish way. I mean it in a normal person way, because seriously, reasonable people aren’t going to have an issue with you shutting this down.)

The next time you hear something like that, I’d say, “That’s really inappropriate, and it’s insulting to both me and (boss). Please don’t say that again.” If they respond by telling you to relax and it’s just a joke, say, “It’s not an appropriate joke; please don’t make comments like that at work.”

2. Performance evaluations that assess workplace friendships

I worked for a manufacturing company that quickly promoted me to team lead of the quality department. I’d always thought that when you are in a leadership position, you should be pleasant and polite to your employees, but maintain a level of distance as well. So when I got my review, I was surprised to find that “makes friends with coworkers” was “unsatisfactory,” much less a part of the review at all. This was a very busy department; it’s not like people were standing around chatting. I am an introvert by nature, and one of the managers was always asking me questions like, “Are you always so quiet?” I spoke up when necessary, but always kept it work-related with the occasional “nice day out” or “how was your weekend”? We also worked 10-12 hour shifts so everyone was always kind of dragging. Is making friends at work a valid thing to put on a performance review?

No. An evaluation might reasonably assess whether you have cooperative, collegial relationships with your coworker, but whether or not you’re friends with them? That’s ridiculous. Your job isn’t to make friends with coworkers; it’s to get work done. It’s lovely (sometimes) if you do end up being friends with some of them, but it shouldn’t be something you’re evaluated on.

3. Expressing a location preference before being offered a job

My old boss, who is now a C-level exec reporting directly to the CEO of a 200-ish person company, would like me to join his company and be one of the first six or so employees opening its European branch. I would be growing and managing a team. He has mentioned that location is not yet decided, and they are choosing between European Capitols X and Y. They lean towards X, because old boss and CEO have a stronger network in that location, but no decision has been made.

I’m very interested in the role, the company has an exciting product, and I loved working for my old boss. I would like to formally start the interviewing process. However, I am not interested in living in European Capitol X and would strongly prefer Y. I’ve researched X and it does not have terribly favourable reviews in terms of quality of living. Additionally, Y would also allow me to live very close to my family and childhood friends. I have checked and working remotely would not be an option.

Is there any way for me to bring this up as part of the interviewing process? If so, how? And when? I’m aware this is jumping the gun slightly, but I am at a loss as to whether this is something I can discuss, but it’s an important factor.

Yes, and in fact you should, if you know for sure you’d only take the job if it’s in City Y. I’d say this: “I’m really interested in talking with you further about the job, but I want to be up-front about the fact that I’d only be interested if the job is based in Y, which I know is still undecided.”

Or, if City X isn’t a total deal-breaker for you, just not your preference, I’d say this instead: ” “I’m really interested in talking with you further about the job, but I want to be up-front about the fact that it would be a hard sell for me to move to X. I’d be excited about City Y, but I’m doubtful that X would be the right move for me.”

4. Telling the HR director she’s breaking the law

Our HR director sent a message to everyone today saying that due to many people failing to take their required lunch breaks every day, they are instituting a policy by which your time WILL be deducted automatically if you do not take a lunch. Of course this is illegal, but I am struggling finding a way to relay this to the HR manager without it sounding like I’m telling her how to do her job – I mean, this should be pretty elementary for an HR manager, right? Can you please help me with this?

“We’re actually required by federal law to pay people for all the time they worked, even if they fail to take a required break. We could get in a lot of trouble for docking people’s wages even if they didn’t take lunch. We can of course require lunch breaks and discipline people if they don’t take them, but federal law is really clear that we do have to pay people for all time worked.”

5. Listing Uber-like work on a resume

During a busy school semester when I couldn’t keep regular work hours, I have been doing some work in the “sharing economy,” or maybe the better term is “on demand” work. Think Uber, but with dog walking. It’s an app-based company where I have an online profile and people contact me to take care of their pets. I’m not an employee of the company, and I am not sure how to handle this in terms of work experience. I have a ton of positive reviews on the website, and now that I am working on getting a more traditional job again, I would like to use this experience. Should I share my profile, if it is relevant to the job I am applying for? Does this go on my resume, and how?

I have a ton of other customer service experience but I haven’t worked at one of those jobs since my last temp position ended in April, and I don’t want to look like I haven’t been doing anything other than classes in the meantime.

If you’ve been in school full-time, it’s fine not to have any work on your resume for that period. But you can also include this if you feel like it demonstrates relevant skills (such as reliability and customer service), especially if you have no other way of demonstrating them. I’d list it like any other freelance job, but I don’t think you need to link to your profile (or at least, not unless you’re applying for a job where showcasing customer service will be particularly useful).