Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Employee booked vacation for a date he’s required to work

I’m in my first management position, supervising exactly one employee, who is doing a great job. When we hired this person, I mentioned that there was one Saturday when he would be required to work (about a month out at that time), but apparently didn’t emphasize that enough because he appears to have booked travel that weekend. Maybe I should have checked in when he requested to take off the Friday before, but I just assumed he wanted to rest up!

I definitely did tell him about this date. I specifically mentioned the date in an email early on when he asked about weekend work. I double checked my email and it’s there. I can only assume he just forgot; when I asked, he said (with some sheepishness) the trip was to see a girl. We have a good relationship so I would think he’d tell me if it was, say, a sick family member, something urgent.

It’s imperative that he attend this conference, and I guess technically it’s his error, but I can’t help but feel kind of horrible for asking him to change his plans, especially if the tickets are non-refundable. Is there a graceful way to handle this? Like I said, in general he’s been doing very well and I’d like to avoid demoralizing him if at all possible.

If it’s truly imperative that he attend the conference, all you can really do is explain that, although you can certainly be sympathetic and apologetic that you can’t offer any flexibility. For example: “Bob, I’m so sorry about this, but it looks like you booked the date that I’d told you earlier was our mandatory conference. If I had flexibility here, I’d give it to you, but it really is imperative that you attend because of XYZ.” (And yes, you don’t technically have anything to apologize for, but it’s kind to note that you regret that you can’t help him out.)

I’d also forward him the email where you told him about that date earlier, saying something like, “Here’s the email exchange that we had about this date,” so that he’s not wondering if he was really told.

I don’t think you need to worry too much about this demoralizing him if he’s a good employee. A reasonable person in his shoes would recognize that it was his own mistake. (That said, explaining to him why there isn’t flexibility would be smart to do, so he doesn’t feel like you’re being unreasonably rigid.)

2. After seven interviews, I was told I might need to re-interview all over

I have been in a long interview process for an internal promotion opportunity. I had my seventh and final interview last week (four phone interviews and three in-person interviews that required me to take time off). I was called today by the director of the department, who informed me that he had accepted a new role at another company. He explained that since they would be restructuring his role, it might create ripple effects in this position in terms of who it would report to and what the vision of the new supervisor might be.

He explained I was his top candidate but that the department may require I completely re-interview once they figure out reporting structure and if this role will change at all. For right now, my candidacy is in limbo.

I took off three days of work so far for this role and don’t feel I can take much more time off, let alone another three days. Especially, since in theory, most of the people I would meet would be the same people. He also was unclear whether it would be a reopened process or if it was a continuation of the current process.

Is there anything, I should be doing at this point to seek clarification, or is it just a waiting game? If I am offered more interviews, how can I communicate the issue with taking time off? Or is this a tactful way of dismissing my candidacy?

All you can really do at this point is wait. He’s leaving, and it makes sense that the new director would want to make her own hiring decision and not hire someone she hasn’t interviewed yet. It also makes sense that they wouldn’t want to hire someone if there are open questions about the role. (Both of those things are actually good for you, even though they’re frustrating right now. You don’t want to work for someone you’ve never met, and you definitely don’t want to take a job that could end up changing soon in major ways.)

So I’d assume that if you’re eventually going to be offered this job, there’s at least one more interview you’ll have to do (the one with the new director). But it doesn’t make sense that you’d need to re-interview with people who have already talked to you. If they propose that, it’s reasonable to say something like, “I understand that you’re re-launching the process. Since I’ve already taken several days off work for three in-person interviews, is it possible to streamline the remaining steps? It would be great if I could do everything that remains in a single day.” From there, it’s up to them — and if they say no, you’ll have to decide how much you want to keep pursuing the job. But it’s a reasonable thing to ask about.

3. I’m pissed off about having to return my employer’s tuition reimbursement

I work for a company that offers $5,000 in tuition reimbursement annually (courses, classes, and workshops must be pre-approved and you are reimbursed when you complete the course). Employees have to be full-time and have been with the company for six months in order to use it, though very few people do. It does say that if you leave the company within less than a year since your reimbursement, you may be required to return the money.

I’ve taken advantage of this perk to the tune of about $3,000. Recently a coworker in the same role as me gave his two weeks notice and the company is now going after his tuition reimbursement. While I assume it’s a case-by-case basis and we do agree to the fine print when we use it, I think this is a horrible business practices. I don’t plan on staying here for a full year and am now worried that I’ll be out the money when I move on.

While I understand that it’s a investment for the company and an attempt to breed loyalty, I think it’s horrible to encourage employees to pursue continuing education and then penalize them if they choose to take advantage of it and don’t stick around for a year. All of the senior people encourage us to use the resource and speak frequently about always learning outside the job. I generally like this place and if/when I move on it would only be to move up faster; I would consider returning here but not if I’m asked to fork out money from a benefit that I used to better myself and make me better at my job (it’s an ad agency, this kind of bouncing around is very common).

What are you thoughts? Is there something I could say when the time comes? It wouldn’t break my bank account to give the money back…I would just be really, really pissed off.

This is very, very, very normal. So normal, in fact, that I don’t know of employers who offer tuition reimbursement without having a clause like this. (I’m sure they exist, but it’s a very typical thing to require.) The reasoning, of course, is that they want to get some return on their investment after paying for your classes.

If you don’t like those terms, the thing to do is to not use their tuition reimbursement. It doesn’t make any sense to be pissed off about being held to the terms of a clearly stated contract that you signed and that you weren’t pressured into.

4. My friend and nanny wants me to lie to a landlord for her

I just hired a friend as a part-time nanny for my child, as I work from home. It has been a really great fit and she is wonderful with my daughter. However, I am now in my first employer conundrum. My nanny is apartment hunting and just informed me that she told a potential landlord that she works full-time for me (she is currently only working 16 hours/week), and has been working for me for over a year (she started two weeks ago). She has asked me to lie if the landlord calls to verify. What should I do? Obviously I am uncomfortable with lying, but the situation is more complicated, as she is my friend and such a great caregiver.

Ouch. She shouldn’t be putting you in this position, and she definitely shouldn’t have lied to the landlord before even checking to see if you’d back her up. Some people are willing to lie for friends in this situation, so I guess you’ve got to decide if you are — but it certainly wouldn’t be unreasonable to tell her you’re not comfortable doing that and that’s she’s essentially asking you to help her commit fraud. And either way, you could say to her, “I’m really not comfortable with this, and don’t want you to put me in a situation like this again.”

5. My manager read our coworker’s letter of resignation to the rest of us and mocked it

Our manager read a coworker’s letter of resignation aloud to about 8 to 10 coworkers, openly mocking it. The resigning employee was present and was obviously uncomfortable. I know this is highly inappropriate and unprofessional, but is there anything we, as the remaing employees, can do to make sure this does not happen to us, if we decided to resign?

First, your manager is an ass.

Second, you can probably avoid it happening to you by writing a short and concise resignation letter that says no more than “I’m writing to confirm my resignation from Teapots Inc. My final day will be October 1, 2015.” That has the added advantage of being all a resignation letter really needs to say anyway; it’s not supposed to contain your reasons for leaving or anything like that. It would be fairly hard to mock that kind of letter.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. How can I coach an employee to have more professional polish?

I have recently inherited a team of three whose previous manager provided little to no feedback, goal-setting, or performance reviews. I am working on establishing these metrics with them and getting to know how they work. It is a great team and they all work very hard, but I am having an issue with one of the team members that I am having difficultly figuring out to address.

She is a young woman who has been out of school and working professionally for about 2.5 years. She has been with us for about 6 months, and before joining actually worked with a company I was previously at. I know the culture of that company was very lax (like everyone swearing at each other all day, going out to drinks on a weekly basis, showing up in sweatpants, etc.), but that is not the case here. This is a very professional company that prides itself on its public perception. She is very good at her work, but does not seem to have the awareness that she needs to be more professional. She does somewhat crass things like burp or talk loudly in the hallways about inappropriate topics. She has no real filter for what comes out of her mouth and doesn’t understand that certain topics shouldn’t be brought up in meetings with coworkers, especially high-level bosses. I have tried so far to drop hints about some of these things, but she is not getting it. I wish I could send her to charm school.

She is very defensive when anything even somewhat negative is brought to her attention and takes things very personally. I want to be more upfront, but feel like this will be a direct attack to her. How, if at all, can I coach her to be more professional when what it seems like she needs is an injection of class/polish?

This isn’t about class or charm school; it’s about professionalism. Sit down and tell her that she does good work but that she needs to present herself with more professional polish, and then give her specific examples of what you’d like her to do differently (explain what topics aren’t appropriate, that freely burping around others isn’t professional, etc.). Stop trying to hint and tell her directly, because clearly the hints aren’t working and she needs you to be very clear and explicit about what you want her to change.

And make sure that you frame this all as being about professionalism, and the type of thing that will impact what projects she’s given, how others in the company see her, how easily she’s able to advance, and her overall reputation. Don’t frame it as class, because she may legitimately not care about class (and class really isn’t the point); she needs to understand that it’s about professional expectations with real ramifications.

You probably need to address the defensiveness too, because you have to be able to give her feedback without that happening; more on that here.

2. What to say to an employee who’s requesting too much time off

I have a question about an employee who is requesting a lot of time off. This employee is considered auxiliary (works less than 20 hours per week), and her shifts are working evenings and weekends in healthcare. She typically works a regular schedule of Friday, Saturday, Sunday and a mix of evening shifts in there. She recently graduated and applied for a full-time job in the department, but due to an excessive number of call-outs in her past, we did not consider her for the position. Because she is auxiliary, she does not get PTO, but that doesn’t stop her from requesting time off (without pay) fairly often – approximately 2-3 shifts per month. Although her position description states that she should be available to cover in some instances of full-time employees taking time off, she rarely volunteers to cover shifts, and will sometimes only cover a shift for a full-time employee if they guarantee her that they will work for her.

She sent me an email today asking for another auxiliary employee’s personal email, so that she could offer her all of her Sunday shifts in October, and in the same sentence asked to be off on three separate Saturdays in October. She then ended the email by asking for a raise, since she now has her degree (which is not required for her position). My workplace gives annual raises, but it is my opinion that if an employee wants an additional raise, they need to present a case for themselves, outlining their contributions to the company.

How do I address her email tactfully, telling her that it’s inappropriate to request to be off for over half of her shifts in a month, and that her raise request is inappropriate?

“Jane, I’m actually counting on you to be here reliably for your regularly scheduled shifts. It’s okay to to request time off on occasion, but that should be rare, not multiple times each month. It sounds like you’re proposing that you miss more than half your shifts in October. If there’s something unusual going on that you need help accommodating*, please let me know, but otherwise I really do need you to be here reliably on those days and going forward. Is that something that you can do?

I’d need to see sustained reliable attendance from you** before we could consider a raise.”

* You’re saying this because you do want to be flexible with her (to the extent that you can) if she’s dealing with a serious family health crisis or something like that.

** If she’d also need to raise her performance to a higher level before you’d consider a raise, insert that here as well (so that you’re not implying that reliable attendance alone would be enough).

3. We have to train the person who will be taking our jobs

I have a very specialized job at my company that they have now decided to off-shore to our operations in India as part of a company-wide effort to cut costs and improve efficiency. They say we won’t lose our jobs, but how can you cut costs if you don’t get rid of people? They say there will be some sort of job for us but won’t say what it is. They act like we should just be happy with whatever they give us. I find that extremely insulting. To make matters worse, they actually sent someone over from India and made us train him in how to do our work. Which we did. Because we are professionals. For weeks, I came to work everyday with the sole purpose of training the person who is taking my job. Am I wrong to be insulted by this? Is this common? Because it seems really bizarre to me.

Also, the person leading this charge is so uncomfortable being the “bad guy” that she actually asked us to tell her why we think this is a good idea. I refused tell her it’s ok just so she can sleep at night. I don’t agree with any of this, but I have done everything they have asked of me. So before our colleague left to return home, he asked for a group picture. So we took a nice picture with him and her. But now I am afraid that picture is going to be used as propaganda to communicate how happy we are about this and that we are all on board, when in reality, half the people in that picture will probably lose their jobs because of this. Is there a way we can ask for that picture to not be used for that purpose without looking like we aren’t “team players”? Or should we just just accept the fact that our company doesn’t care about us at all?

Don’t get hung up on the photo or whether or not to feel insulted — you have bigger issues here than that. Some sort of big change is coming, and there’s a pretty good chance it will be layoffs. If it’s not layoffs, it’s something else that they’re being cagey about. It’s time to job search, and you’re going to be better off putting your energy into that. Be professional and do what’s asked of you (because you care about your own reputation and the reference you get, and because as long as they’re paying you, it’s reasonable of them to expect that of you), but switch into active job searching mode if you’re not there already. And let the photo thing go; it doesn’t matter in the scheme of things.

4. Can my cover letter mention that I know a lot about this field from talking with my husband, who works in it?

My question is about referencing my husband in a cover letter. I’m applying to a job as a shipping / logistics coordinator for a company that essentially makes film bookings in movie theaters on behalf of the general public. I feel fairly well-qualified for the position — I had earlier in my work history a similar role at a financial startup for a brief period (about 9 months) — but I also don’t really consider myself to be an ideal or shoo-in candidate.

In my cover letter, I’d like to distinguish myself from other applicants, as you’ve often suggested, by highlighting my interest in and knowledge about what they do, which are both genuine. However, my knowledge of them specifically and the ins and outs of theatrical film bookings in general mostly come from years’ worth of conversations with my husband, who has been a film programmer in our city for the past 3 or 4 years. I definitely don’t want to seem like I’m name dropping, or claiming any particular expertise that I don’t actually have. But the industry is very small, and the knowledge I’ve gained by helping my husband talk through problems or challenges at work, or picking his brain about his day-to-day business, or what have you has genuinely given me a lot of insight (and allowed me to form educated opinions!) that someone who has maybe a stronger work history but no connection to this industry would not necessarily have. Just for context, my husband works for a major player in this industry in general and basically a titan in the city where I live, so while they might not know him specifically, they will absolutely understand the kind of work he does, the scope of his work, etc.

Is it appropriate and/or relevant to mention what I’ve learned about this industry from my husband? If so, how can I pull it off without sounding like I’m trying to make up for something I’m lacking, or just kinda weird overall?

Nope, you really can’t. While I don’t doubt that conversations with your husband have given you insight into the industry that you wouldn’t otherwise have, that’s not likely to make up for the weirdness of citing your husband as, essentially, a qualification of yours.

The better way to take advantage of your husband’s experience in this industry would be to see if someone in his network is connected to the hiring manager for the job.

5. I was asked to interview but then rejected

I applied for a administrative assistant position. A week ago, I received a email stating I should call and schedule a interview. I was excited. I called left a message and I sent a email. I received a automatic reply saying, “Tim is on vacation. Please contact Jim or John.” I contacted both Jim and John. John responded and scheduled a interview for the following week. He said that I would get a email for confirmation and address. I never got the email. I called again. He said that he would send a email again. I still haven’t received this email. Later in the day, I checked my email and saw that Tim had sent me a rejection.

I don’t understand. I didn’t get the confirmation email from anyone, my interview is in a few days, and I get a rejection?! I’m honestly upset and confused. I plan to call and hopefully get someone to explain. I am genuinely interested in the position.

It’s possible that it was a mistake and you weren’t supposed to receive a rejection. It’s also possible that they did change their mind and decide to reject you and communicated that really poorly (or possibly most likely, that Tim, who’s managing the hiring, returned and decided to reject you without realizing that John had already started to schedule an interview with you). It’s reasonable to call and ask for clarification.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. My manager hasn’t acknowledged my resignation

I handed my resignation in to my manager, but my employer has not acknowledged it. What do I do?

Go talk to her. Immediately. Maybe she didn’t see the notice, or who knows.

For what it’s worth, you should generally resign in person (or over the phone if you’re remote or your manager is traveling), not via a letter. I think people have heard the term “letter of resignation” so much that it’s led them to think the letter is the actual way you resign, but it’s not; that’s normally a face-to-face conversation.

In any case, since you haven’t heard anything back, go walk into her office and say, “I want to make sure you saw my letter of resignation.”

2. Will I get in trouble for being seen around town when I’m out sick?

I have vertigo. I had it for nearly three weeks and was signed off work for two. I just managed to go to my corner shop yesterday, as my gas key broke, and I saw a friend from work. It made me feel uneasy, like I might get into trouble. Will I?

You certainly shouldn’t. Being off sick doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to leave your house; after all, if nothing else, you still need groceries, medicine, and so forth.

If you get asked about this, just calmly explain the situation. (Now, what is a gas key?)

3. Is this hiring manager lying to me?

I recently had a job interview and was informed that I very likely got the job. They said they would call me in a week, but I never got a call.

I then followed up with a call, to find out more of what was going on. I wanted to get a status report on whether got the job or not. The manager answered the phone, and said he needed a couple of more days to finalize some things. He also mentioned that I was one of two remaining candidates.

What I want to know is: Is he lying to me? Will I even get the job? Because right now I am not sure, and this is coming after two failed interviews.

I doubt he’s lying to you; he doesn’t have any reason to. I’d take him at face value and believe what he’s telling you: You’re one of two candidates, and he needs a few more days to make a decision.

4. Update: I’m not sure if I can afford my coworker’s fancy retirement dinner

Remember the letter-writer in January who wasn’t sure how to handle an expensive retirement dinner for a coworker (#2 at the link)? Here’s the update.

The most interesting thing I found from the commenters here was that most people were hung up on the the travel time to the restaurant, when that wasn’t my concern at all. I was willing and happy to make the drive to celebrate with my colleagues. My job involves lots of driving all over the state, and to me, any drive under 2 hours one way is “short.” Sad, I know, but c’est le vie. I work at a state university that works with/for the state transportation department in Boston. Without traffic, we are located about 90-ish plus minutes from Boston. The restaurant chosen was in the middle of the state, easily accessible from the highway.

About 10 people plus spouses were invited to attend, just the immediate folks that my colleague worked with. On top of the cost of my dinner, portion of colleague and wife’s dinner, and gas, they got him a really fancy plaque thanking him for his years of service (it was quite nice) that they suggested people chip in money for too. I did end up emailing the program coordinator who was planning the evening, and stated that combined with cost, time, and my son’s birthday party that particular weekend, I just couldn’t make it and was really sorry.

That was before snowmeggedon. The dinner was planned in late Februray and we are in Massachusetts, so it ended up being rescheduled to some later TBD date due the fact that the state couldn’t move. (Fun fact: MA was shut down every Monday in February.) We were beyond snowed in. They ended up rescheduling for the spring, and I still wasn’t able to go because I had a family thing that I was already committed to across the state in Boston, so I got an easy out for the reschedule. Was I the only one not there? Yes. Was it a big deal? Not at all! I was so relieved. Thanks to everyone that offered ideas and suggestions of things to say. I’m just glad I wasn’t the only one who thought it was a bit much.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker didn’t warn us about bed bugs when we traveled to satellite office

I work at a place with two offices. There is a group of professionals in our office who meet up every month to discuss trends in our field of work. We normally meet at the main office, but one of the employees in the group asked that we rotate back, at least once, to the satellite office. Well, the whole group (75% of whom works at the main office) agreed that they would rotate and have the meeting at the satellite office. When we got there for the meeting, one of the employees who works out of the satellite office made a remark in passing during the meeting that the room next door is being treated for a bed bug infestation. She actually had the nerve to say this jokingly!

I am really annoyed that an entire group of professionals at that satellite office did not warn us about the bed bug situation–if they had, we obviously would not have gone there and it doesn’t matter that the bedbugs were found in the room next door. I saw one of the satellite employees and asked her why they didn’t warn the rest of the group about the bed bugs and she said, “I guess we didn’t even think about it.” I feel like their behavior was so extremely unprofessional, inconsiderate, immature and discourteous that I don’t even think we should accommodate them anymore by rotating! Now, I am paranoid about any bite I get because bed bugs can make you lose a lot of money and belongings since you need to throw these things out!

I was thinking of just keeping the upcoming meetings at the main office and if the satellite folks want to come, so be it–why bring it up when the end result will be us not meeting there anyway? Another factor here is that even when we do rotate and have these meetings at the satellite office, the satellite employees are always strolling in 10-20 minutes late to a meeting that we’re holding at their office to accommodate them! They are just generally inconsiderate, but other than the group meetings, I don’t have to work with them because they’re in a different department (and obviously, a different office). How should I approach this situation?

It’s perfectly reasonable to say, “We aren’t going to hold meetings there until the bed bug situation is 100% resolved. We don’t want to risk bringing them back with us.” (It’s weird that they themselves aren’t concerned about bringing them home, which makes me wonder if there’s something else going on there.)

It might also be reasonable — although it’s a little less clear cut — to say “because most of us are in the main office, we’d like to keep holding the meetings here, since that’s the most convenient for the majority of attendees.” (There’s an argument that that isn’t really fair and you should rotate at least once in a while, if not every single meeting … but it also sounds like you might not be terribly upset if it meant that they didn’t attend as frequently.)

And if you are holding any meetings at their office, it’s definitely reasonable to say, “We need to start these on time. Can you commit to being ready to go by 6 p.m. so we’re not starting late?”

Read an update to this letter here.

2. Should I mention my disability in an interview when an employer says they encourage disabled people to apply?

I have juvenile/type 1 diabetes, which I’m pretty sure qualifies as a disability under the ADA. I see employers with language in their posting such as: “We are strongly committed to achieving excellence through intellectual diversity and strongly encourage applications from persons of color, women, persons with disabilities, the LGBT community, veterans, and members of other groups that are under-represented on university faculties.” How do people make it known that they are members of one of these groups, such as a person with a disability, during the application submission/hiring process? I have never addressed my disability with employers during the interview or hiring process, preferring to keep it quiet until I have started working. For context, I am in the legal profession and thinking about entering the teaching market (scary!).

That sort of language isn’t there to prompt you to disclose disabilities, but rather just to signal to you that they’re a particularly welcoming environment (for example, that they’re not likely to consider medical accommodations a hassle — at least in theory).

There are a few exceptions to this; some programs do give veterans and disabled people preference in hiring, but in those cases it’s likely to be asked as a formal question in their application process and still wouldn’t be something you’d need to casually mention in an interview.

3. Would a new job let me work remotely two months a year?

I’m a graduate student in a relatively specialized field. For the past few years, I’ve been lucky enough to have a job that I love where I can grow and develop my skills, and with great and supportive coworkers. The problem is that this job is seasonal. I would like to start applying to part-time jobs related to my field of study so that I have steady work throughout the year. I’m wondering whether I could reasonably try to have my cake and eat it too—that is, how strange and/or unreasonable would it be for me to try to negotiate with a new job to let me take two months to work remotely while I return to this seasonal job? Is there some other way I can keep working at my seasonal job?

It’s not impossible, but it would be pretty unusual. It would depend on the work you were doing and the nature of the role, but most employers would be concerned at the prospect of you splitting your focus like that for two months. You’d also be asking them to tolerate what could be pretty significant inconvenience (to your coworkers as well) for something that won’t benefit them, and which risks signaling “I’m not committed enough to this job to let the other one go.”

I think you’re most likely to need to give up the seasonal job when you get a new job.

4. Employer is accidentally continuing a benefit after I left

I left a former employer a few months ago for a new job. The HR manager at the former employer is, to be mild, incompetent. I’ve spent many days making sure my paychecks were accurate, benefits were right, etc., and now I’m wondering what my responsibility (and possible liability) is if said HR manager fails to discontinue a benefit after I left employment.

I was receiving a transportation subsidy that goes directly to my travel card – this was the employer’s money, not mine. Although I left employment months ago, the subsidy continues to be placed on my card every month. Short of cancelling the account and opening a new one, I have no way of not using these benefits when they’re placed there (the deductions are automatic when I use the subway). I have let the HR manager know about this but never received a reply and the benefits still appear every month.

Am I liable for this somehow, given that it’s their error? I have no desire to take money from them, but it’s incredibly complicated for me to go around their error. I also don’t want to end up having to pay this money back. Any idea on how to deal with this?

It’s a good question. If they were continuing to pay you, they could indeed hold you to returning the money once they noticed it (although I’d love to know if there are time limits on that — there must be, but we need a lawyer to tell us for sure). But with benefits? I don’t know. I suspect that they wouldn’t bother, but I can see why you don’t want the possibility hanging out there.

I would alert your old manager to what’s happening, if you haven’t already. And then I would send one final note to the HR manager (ideally with her manager cc’d) saying that you’ve alerted her that this is happening and haven’t received a reply, can’t continue to chase her down to get it fixed, and so are making one final attempt to get it corrected but if they don’t take care of it, you’re not going to be responsible for getting the money back to them at some future date.

5. Did this company blacklist me?

I am a contractor and am in the market every six months or so. I was once at a company where I couldn’t get along with the manager, to the point that we wouldn’t say hello to each other. She didn’t extend my contract and I was out. After that, whenever I applied for an opening in that company, I never got called for an interview. Is it possible that she blacklisted me in th HR database or something?

Yes. It’s pretty normal, in fact, to mark people as ineligible for rehire if there are issues with them — and having a poor enough relationship with a manager that you refused to even say hello could definitely qualify as that (even if she was just as much to blame as you).