Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker didn’t warn us about bed bugs when we traveled to satellite office

I work at a place with two offices. There is a group of professionals in our office who meet up every month to discuss trends in our field of work. We normally meet at the main office, but one of the employees in the group asked that we rotate back, at least once, to the satellite office. Well, the whole group (75% of whom works at the main office) agreed that they would rotate and have the meeting at the satellite office. When we got there for the meeting, one of the employees who works out of the satellite office made a remark in passing during the meeting that the room next door is being treated for a bed bug infestation. She actually had the nerve to say this jokingly!

I am really annoyed that an entire group of professionals at that satellite office did not warn us about the bed bug situation–if they had, we obviously would not have gone there and it doesn’t matter that the bedbugs were found in the room next door. I saw one of the satellite employees and asked her why they didn’t warn the rest of the group about the bed bugs and she said, “I guess we didn’t even think about it.” I feel like their behavior was so extremely unprofessional, inconsiderate, immature and discourteous that I don’t even think we should accommodate them anymore by rotating! Now, I am paranoid about any bite I get because bed bugs can make you lose a lot of money and belongings since you need to throw these things out!

I was thinking of just keeping the upcoming meetings at the main office and if the satellite folks want to come, so be it–why bring it up when the end result will be us not meeting there anyway? Another factor here is that even when we do rotate and have these meetings at the satellite office, the satellite employees are always strolling in 10-20 minutes late to a meeting that we’re holding at their office to accommodate them! They are just generally inconsiderate, but other than the group meetings, I don’t have to work with them because they’re in a different department (and obviously, a different office). How should I approach this situation?

It’s perfectly reasonable to say, “We aren’t going to hold meetings there until the bed bug situation is 100% resolved. We don’t want to risk bringing them back with us.” (It’s weird that they themselves aren’t concerned about bringing them home, which makes me wonder if there’s something else going on there.)

It might also be reasonable — although it’s a little less clear cut — to say “because most of us are in the main office, we’d like to keep holding the meetings here, since that’s the most convenient for the majority of attendees.” (There’s an argument that that isn’t really fair and you should rotate at least once in a while, if not every single meeting … but it also sounds like you might not be terribly upset if it meant that they didn’t attend as frequently.)

And if you are holding any meetings at their office, it’s definitely reasonable to say, “We need to start these on time. Can you commit to being ready to go by 6 p.m. so we’re not starting late?”

Read an update to this letter here.

2. Should I mention my disability in an interview when an employer says they encourage disabled people to apply?

I have juvenile/type 1 diabetes, which I’m pretty sure qualifies as a disability under the ADA. I see employers with language in their posting such as: “We are strongly committed to achieving excellence through intellectual diversity and strongly encourage applications from persons of color, women, persons with disabilities, the LGBT community, veterans, and members of other groups that are under-represented on university faculties.” How do people make it known that they are members of one of these groups, such as a person with a disability, during the application submission/hiring process? I have never addressed my disability with employers during the interview or hiring process, preferring to keep it quiet until I have started working. For context, I am in the legal profession and thinking about entering the teaching market (scary!).

That sort of language isn’t there to prompt you to disclose disabilities, but rather just to signal to you that they’re a particularly welcoming environment (for example, that they’re not likely to consider medical accommodations a hassle — at least in theory).

There are a few exceptions to this; some programs do give veterans and disabled people preference in hiring, but in those cases it’s likely to be asked as a formal question in their application process and still wouldn’t be something you’d need to casually mention in an interview.

3. Would a new job let me work remotely two months a year?

I’m a graduate student in a relatively specialized field. For the past few years, I’ve been lucky enough to have a job that I love where I can grow and develop my skills, and with great and supportive coworkers. The problem is that this job is seasonal. I would like to start applying to part-time jobs related to my field of study so that I have steady work throughout the year. I’m wondering whether I could reasonably try to have my cake and eat it too—that is, how strange and/or unreasonable would it be for me to try to negotiate with a new job to let me take two months to work remotely while I return to this seasonal job? Is there some other way I can keep working at my seasonal job?

It’s not impossible, but it would be pretty unusual. It would depend on the work you were doing and the nature of the role, but most employers would be concerned at the prospect of you splitting your focus like that for two months. You’d also be asking them to tolerate what could be pretty significant inconvenience (to your coworkers as well) for something that won’t benefit them, and which risks signaling “I’m not committed enough to this job to let the other one go.”

I think you’re most likely to need to give up the seasonal job when you get a new job.

4. Employer is accidentally continuing a benefit after I left

I left a former employer a few months ago for a new job. The HR manager at the former employer is, to be mild, incompetent. I’ve spent many days making sure my paychecks were accurate, benefits were right, etc., and now I’m wondering what my responsibility (and possible liability) is if said HR manager fails to discontinue a benefit after I left employment.

I was receiving a transportation subsidy that goes directly to my travel card – this was the employer’s money, not mine. Although I left employment months ago, the subsidy continues to be placed on my card every month. Short of cancelling the account and opening a new one, I have no way of not using these benefits when they’re placed there (the deductions are automatic when I use the subway). I have let the HR manager know about this but never received a reply and the benefits still appear every month.

Am I liable for this somehow, given that it’s their error? I have no desire to take money from them, but it’s incredibly complicated for me to go around their error. I also don’t want to end up having to pay this money back. Any idea on how to deal with this?

It’s a good question. If they were continuing to pay you, they could indeed hold you to returning the money once they noticed it (although I’d love to know if there are time limits on that — there must be, but we need a lawyer to tell us for sure). But with benefits? I don’t know. I suspect that they wouldn’t bother, but I can see why you don’t want the possibility hanging out there.

I would alert your old manager to what’s happening, if you haven’t already. And then I would send one final note to the HR manager (ideally with her manager cc’d) saying that you’ve alerted her that this is happening and haven’t received a reply, can’t continue to chase her down to get it fixed, and so are making one final attempt to get it corrected but if they don’t take care of it, you’re not going to be responsible for getting the money back to them at some future date.

5. Did this company blacklist me?

I am a contractor and am in the market every six months or so. I was once at a company where I couldn’t get along with the manager, to the point that we wouldn’t say hello to each other. She didn’t extend my contract and I was out. After that, whenever I applied for an opening in that company, I never got called for an interview. Is it possible that she blacklisted me in th HR database or something?

Yes. It’s pretty normal, in fact, to mark people as ineligible for rehire if there are issues with them — and having a poor enough relationship with a manager that you refused to even say hello could definitely qualify as that (even if she was just as much to blame as you).

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Am I being unreasonable in my expectations of this student worker?

I’m a newly hired assistant manager in an office setting. We recently hired a student worker who is paid hourly. On her second day, our student worker “saved” her unpaid lunch for the end of her shift (9-5) so that she could effectively end work early (she did not leave the office, but was unavailable for work). I’m not opposed to this occasionally, but doing so on her second day (without checking in or taking the time to understand the expectations of the department) makes me question her level of motivation and enthusiasm for the position.

I asked that our student worker not make a habit of it, since the end of the day is a good time to check in and debrief. We will also need her for phone coverage up until closing once our temp’s contract ends.

On my way back from the restroom, I heard her complaining to our temp about it – and our temp seemed surprised that I had asked her not to save her lunch in order to end work early. They both stopped talking immediately when I walked past them.

Our temp is friends with the student worker, and is the one who recommended her for the position. I am worried about a negative culture developing as a result of the dynamic between our temp and student worker.

Is it an unreasonable expectation for our student worker to not save her lunch for the end of her shift? And is there anything I can do preemptively to help set the tone and prevent a negative culture from developing?

No, it’s not unreasonable for you to expect her to use her lunch break as a mid-day break rather than a way to shorten her shift. But it would be unreasonable to question her enthusiasm over it — she’s a student worker, which means that she’s just starting to learn about workplace expectations, and part of your job is to teach them to her. So explain to her what your expectations are and why.

Complaining to a coworker on her second day is a lot more alarming to me. I’d keep a close eye on both of them and if you see anything more along those lines, I’d address it head-on. For example: “I haven’t been able to avoid overhearing you complaining to Jane about X and Y. I want to help you understand the rationale for both those things, but I also want to talk to you about the impression it can create in a workplace when you take such a negative outlook on pretty standard office policies.”

2. My boyfriend and I are applying at the same company

My long-term boyfriend and I are employed in a highly specialized niche field and are looking to change employers. Our top choice is located on the other side of the country from where we are now currently working. We work in a field where romantic partnerships are very common at all levels, even up to director levels. We are both fairly prominent professionally, and many people know who we are and that we are a couple, but not every single person in the business can be assumed to know.

We are stumped about when the appropriate time is to raise the issue that we are a couple. He thinks it should be in the cover letters; I think we should submit our cover letters at the same time and bring up the fact that we are a couple in our initial interviews. I can see his argument — put it out on the table right away in the interest of full disclosure and not springing it on them later, in case that fact would make them not consider us at all — but I also think it is something that is easier to bring up in person than on paper. What do you think?

Wait until you have an offer to mention it. It would be super weird to mention in the cover letter, and I don’t even think you need to raise it at an interview. Wait until one of you has an offer, and then — if the other one is still in the running — disclose it. I’d frame it as “I know you’re also talking with Gavin Plufferton, who is my partner; I wanted to make you aware of that in case it would pose any issues if you ended up extending an offer to him as well.”

Also, don’t send your applications at the same time; if they do already know you’re a couple, that looks too strangely coordinated.

3. Disabled transit service didn’t pick me up for work

I have mild spastic cerebral palsy, and work for a call center through a disability agency that I was referred to by a local government agency. Today wasn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s the first time I chose not to go to work because the transit for disabled people didn’t schedule me a ride TO work, but they had one for me coming back home from work, which made no sense to me at all. They know my schedule, but didn’t accommodate me, and now I’m scared I’ll lose my job because of their unreliable service. They’re the only transit in my area, and it was a tough decision to not go to work because I don’t get paid to take cabs when I’m supposed to have that reliable transit for disabled people. If I had taken a cab, I would have risked my safety … at least I can trust the people who drive for the disabled service. What should I do in this situation?

I’d contact someone with some authority at the agency that runs the transit program for disabled people and explain what’s been happening and that they’re putting your job at risk. Ask what can be done to ensure that you’re able to actually rely on the service they’re supposed to be providing to you. If they don’t sound like they’re taking it seriously and/or it continues to happen, I’d reach out your local government officials and ask for their help in resolving this; they’re often eager to take on things like this and get them fixed.

Meanwhile, let your manager know what’s going on and that you’re actively working to get it addressed.

4. Should I mention to a candidate that we’re neighbors?

I am recruiting for some on-call warehouse staff, and one of my neighbours who I say “hello” to but don’t hang out with applied. Is it okay that when I call her, I reveal that I am her neighbor? I thought the connection could establish more rapport. As a recruiter, would it be odd to reveal I’m her neighbor? I wouldn’t be interviewing her in person, just phone screening.

I’m probably projecting my own weirdness on to this, but it could potentially make her feel more nervous, if she feels like now she has to worry about not messing up in front of her neighbor, who she might forever feel awkward around if she gives a terrible interview. On the other hand, yes, it’s perfectly possible that it will help establish rapport. (Although if it’s a pretty quick phone screen, that may not matter that much.)

Do you only know that it’s her because you recognize the address (not the name)? If so, I’d be tempted to just let it go and pretend you never spotted it. But again, this could be my personal weirdness.

5. Is this overtime maneuver legal?

I work in West Virginia. My employer pays every two weeks. I worked 34 hours the first week and 51 hours the second. My employer took six hours and put them on the first week so it made 40 hours, and so I only got paid for 5 hours of overtime instead of 11. Is that legal?

It depends on what work week your employer uses. If they use a standard Monday through Friday week, than no, that’s not legal. They owe you overtime pay for the full 11 hours of overtime you worked the second week.

However, employers are allowed to set their work week as any fixed and regularly occurring seven consecutive days — so, for example, they could set it as starting on Thursday and running through the following Wednesday. And if they do that, that could explain what you’re seeing.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Team member caused a drunken scene at coworker’s wedding

I am a team leader in a very small company. The team I manage only has two other members.

A few weeks ago, one of them, Jamie, got married. A few other colleagues and I were invited to the evening reception. The other member of the team got overly drunk and was abusive to many guests, knocked small children over on the dance floor, and was heard at the bar saying he was going to “F#%k s$¥t up.” When everyone was trying to leave, he started to get naked and violently abusive in the venue’s car park. This led to a massive fight as Jamie asked him to leave and he hit Jamie twice, knocking him to the floor. Guests were trying to eject him, but he was throwing punches and fighting them. He also spat blood all over the bride. His girlfriend punched the bride too. Jamie did not want to spend the night with police giving statements so did not press charges.

Jamie and I have stated to our employer that we do not want to work with this person. Our employer has said that the incident was outside of work so they are powerless. Jamie has been given a week to “forgive and forget” before the other member is sent back to the team.

Your employer isn’t powerless; they can absolutely take action over this if they want to, just like they could take action over, say, a sexual harassment incident that happened outside of work. They might be choosing not to get involved because they don’t know for sure what happened and they’d have to do an investigation, who knows. But yes, this sucks, and asking Jamie to “forgive and forget” the guy who punched him at his wedding, spat blood all over the bride, and generally caused a massive clusterfudge at his wedding is … a tall order.

But if you’re truly stuck with the situation and can’t change their mind, I’d sit down with this guy and tell him that he’ll need to figure out how to repair relations with Jamie, and that when he returns after his week away, you’ll expect to hear his thoughts on how he can do that. Put it on him to figure it out. (And if he doesn’t figure out on his own that any proposal is going to have to involve massive apologies and groveling, and possibly a plan for his alcohol use, point him in that direction.)

2. Asking to take off the Friday of my first week on the job

I have just been hired and accepted my offer letter for a new job. I have my start date set for about a week away. I was wondering if it would be alright to ask the hiring manager if I could take the Friday of my first week off for a family vacation we are doing that weekend. The company is very laid back and casual, but I want to make sure that I would not be offending anyone. I also do not want the company to think I do not take the job seriously.

No, don’t do that. It would be one thing if you had negotiated that day off as part of the offer negotiations, but now that you’ve accepted, asking for a day off on your first week won’t reflect well on you. Your new employer doesn’t know you well yet, and taking a day off that quickly is going to make them wonder if this is the start of a pattern of unreliable attendance. It doesn’t matter if they’re laid back and casual; you do not want to raise worries about your work ethic and commitment to the new job when they have so little data about you.

3. Some of my references haven’t responded

I am currently being considered for a new position in the health care industry. I had my interview and shortly after I was asked to provide five professional references. I had already secured my references before I initiated my job search. I was told by all five that they would gladly give me a reference. Before submitting their names and contact info, I sent all of my references a brief message alerting them that someone from the company that I applied to will be getting in contact with them. They all responded favorably, and three of them gave me a great reference. I am now waiting on two of my references to respond. I really want this job but I am concerned that if they don’t respond in time, I will be passed up for another candidate. I don’t know if I should send them a quick reminder via email, but I don’t want to come off as a nuisance. Or should I provide two more references who I know will respond? What do I do?

How long has it been? If it’s just been a day or two, give them a little more time. But if it’s been multiple business days with no response, yes, you should follow up with them. Say something like this: “Jane, I wanted to check with you about the reference Teapots Inc. reached out about. They told me they haven’t heard from you and they can’t move forward until they do, so I was hoping that you might be able to get back to them today!” Sometimes people just forget, or don’t realize it’s time-sensitive. A polite reminder is perfectly appropriate.

And meanwhile, tell the employer that you’re following up with the references, so that they know you’re on it.

4. Team leads vs. managers

I’ve noticed in a few of your articles that you note a difference between team lead and manager. At my company, all management are called “team lead” (even the CEO). Team leads are responsible for rankings, which determine your raises and bonuses, but don’t know how much you make (or even the percentage change); if you have a problem with your compensation, you’re referred to HR. Team leads are responsible for working people out if it’s a bad fit but aren’t given the information gleaned from HR’s exit interviews. We only hire for entry-level positions and becoming a team lead isn’t considered a promotion (and doesn’t include a raise). This is my first time with a company this size (~10,000) so I’m at a loss to know if this is normal. What do you think?

Nope, not normal. Your company is using the terminology differently than it’s usually used.

Typically a team lead is someone who keeps team members focused and on track for various projects. They might divvy up and monitor work, and they often give feedback and guidance to team members but generally don’t have real managerial authority. When issues arise, they typically can intervene only in fairly limited ways and usually need to escalate anything serious to the team’s manager.

A manager, on the other hand, has broader decision-making responsibilities and and usually has hiring and firing authority, which a team lead does not.

5. Following up about a second position after an interview for a different one

Can I follow up on other positions at a company after I’ve had an interview about one of the positions and am still waiting to hear back? I feel like I was invited to do so, but the interviewer didn’t take the initiative with it.

Earlier, when we were setting up the phone interview for the position I’m still waiting to hear about, she included this in the email: “Are you going to [professional conference] this year? If so, would you like to get together with me and one or two of my colleagues from [our institution] for coffee and a conversation? This wouldn’t be a formal interview, but rather just a chance to meet in person and talk a bit. We could tell you about the program we’re building at [our institution] and a number of positions that will be open in the near future.”

I was not attending the conference, so I said I looked forward to discussing it in the interview. I didn’t end up asking about it in the interview because there were more people than just her on the call. Can I follow up now with an email like this: “It was great talking with you earlier today about the [position]. While I’m very excited about this opportunity, I wanted to follow up with you on your mention of other positions that will open in the future. I see that you have also listed [different position]. Would you find it strange if I also applied for this? I think working for a new department and helping to set up the guides and workflows would be a really interesting opportunity and I would like to participate in some way.”

Basically, yes, but I’d reword it to something more like this: “It was great talking with you earlier today about the [position]. I’m really interested in the role and look forward to learn more. In addition, I recalled that when we connected a few weeks ago, you mentioned you expected to have other positions opening soon, and I noticed you’ve posted an X opening. I’d love to throw my hat in the ring for both if you think it would make sense to do so; I’d be excited to pursue either of them.”

So less “would you find it strange?” (that’s a little too strong) and less “I would like to participate in some way” (that way is by being hired for the job, presumably), and more straightforward.