Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager keeps telling me that my coworker “felt the need to pray” after we had a misunderstanding

A coworker and I had a misunderstanding at work, which led to hurt feelings on both sides. We will be meeting with HR to iron out the misunderstanding. After the incident, with my heart pounding, I returned to my bench (we work in a busy hospital laboratory) and continued working. My coworker vanished without a word, forcing another worker to pick up her tasks.

Since then, my manager has informed me three times that my coworker was “moved to tears” by our encounter, “felt the need to pray,” and spent her last hour “praying for the strength to forgive me” before she punched out at her usual time.

Well, I was upset too, but have 500 patients and their doctors waiting for lab results, so I stood there soaked in sweat doing my job. I don’t care what this person’s religious beliefs are, but I feel continued mention of her activities is an attempt to elicit a response from me: will I be grateful, humbled, remorseful, more aware of the gravity of our issue if I’m reminded once more that she needed prayer to recover?

As an atheist, I find prayer an unprofessional response. If one of my hematology analyzers crashes, can I walk away from the problem, saying I was in the break room praying for it to start working again, rather than sucking up the stress and trying to fix it myself…or calling a field service engineer?

I wouldn’t say that prayer itself is an unprofessional response (people are welcome to do whatever is helpful to them); it’s mentioning it in this context that’s problematic. Like you, I’d wonder what this was supposed to elicit from me. And it’s particularly inappropriate to frame it as “praying for the strength to forgive you,” since her struggle to forgive you for a work-related offense isn’t really relevant at work; professionalism requires that she work with you civilly regardless of what internal challenges she’s having with it.

If your manager mentions it to you again (or, really, anything about your coworker crying or otherwise having a strong reaction to what happened), I would simply say this: “It was a misunderstanding on both sides, and I’m looking forward to talking with her to resolve it.” If your manager continues to press, it might be worth saying, “I understand that Jane had a very intense reaction, but I’m not sure if I’m fully picking up on what you want to convey to me. Is there something you want me doing differently?”

2. Job applicant said she’s never had a job before — when I know that she has

I have a young job applicant who says she’s never worked before, when I know that she has. (She’s friends with a current employee, who mentioned it to me.) Obviously that’s a red flag, but I’m frustrated because she seems like a great candidate and has some skills that I don’t usually get from my applicants. I’m in a small town and can only offer very part-time hours, so I usually hire students attending the local community college. Generally they are unskilled and require a lengthy training period before they’re useful to me. The prospect of getting someone who could offer more and require less training is obviously appealing. And apart from this puzzling omission, she seems like an excellent fit.

I tried to make excuses for her, such as maybe she naively doesn’t count it as a real job because she got so few hours; maybe she was terminated quickly; maybe she’s worried I’ll call them for a reference and she’ll risk losing her job if they hear she’s looking for new employment. And I’ve read other posts on your blog where an employer told a candidate they couldn’t list them under past work experience, so I wondered if something odd like that might explain the scenario here.

The kicker is that when I directly asked her during her interview, “So you’ve never worked anywhere before at all?” she simply said no. I would think she’d mention the job but explain that it was brief, ask me to be discreet, or explain a falling out or any other weirdness at that point. I didn’t directly confront her about the lie because another employee was the one who shared this information, and I couldn’t think of a way to bring it up without throwing my longstanding employee under the bus, so to speak.

I know I probably need to just pass her by, and I’m assuming that no matter how great she seemed on paper and in her interview, that the lying is just too big of a red flag, but frankly it baffles me a little bit and I’m curious to see your take on it, or if you’ve ever seen anything like this before. Should I ask her about it, or just move on?

My guess is that she’s not mentioning the previous job because it didn’t end well and she doesn’t want you to ask her about it or call them for a reference.

But I would just ask her about it. I’d say something like, “Jane Smith, who I think you know works here, mentioned that you used to work at Teapots Inc. You didn’t mention them when I asked if you’ve worked anywhere before, and I’m wondering how come.”

You’re not throwing your employee under the bus by mentioning that; it’s not a weird or scandalous thing for her to have shared with you, and it’s the sort of thing that could easily have been shared in passing. I suppose the exception is if she specifically told you not to mention it (but that itself would be weird).

3. Coworkers are deleting my files

How do I prevent coworkers from deleting my files from my PC while I am away from my desk? Passwords don’t seem to work.

There’s a bigger problem than just preventing them from doing this — it’s why it’s happening in the first place. What’s going on? Is it a bullying situation? Practical jokes gone awry? People sharing a computer without clear direction on what is and isn’t theirs to alter? The solution depends on which problem it is. With all but bullying, you’d tell them clearly and directly to stop deleting files. If it seems malicious (bullying) or rooted in chronic incompetence or bad systems, then you go to your manager and ask for help solving the problem.

4. Including a four-week temp job on a resume

My housemate quit a long-term (10 years) but low-paying job with a badly managed company to take a temp-to-perm contract with more responsibility and more potential at a much higher pay rate. Stuff happened over the course of the contract, and he wound up not being offered the perm position at the end of about 9 months. They let him go in May 2014.

Since then, he’s had no luck in finding another job. He’s done one short-term (4-5 week) temp position earlier this year through a well known recruiting/temp firm, but nothing else has been available or offered.

He is insisting that he needs to add this short-term temp position to his resume as it gives him payroll experience and shows that he’s had some employment in the past year. I’m equally insistent that a 4-week temp job doesn’t give you any kind of experience that is worthwhile to an employer, plus a 4-week employment “island” in the middle of a year of unemployment just looks … well, a little lame.

His response is that not including it makes his resume into “a lie.” And my response is, “Alison says your resume is a marketing tool, not a legal document providing your entire job history.”

I don’t want to make this into “which of us is right?” but more “what would be optimal to help him find a job?” Should he add this short-term, temp job on his resume or not? And how does he explain over a year of being unemployed at this point, when the subject comes up in interviews?

In general, four weeks on a job won’t be useful in showing any real accomplishments or advancement. (And when it’s not intended to be a temp job, including it can actually do harm, raising questions about why you left so soon, although that isn’t the case here.) But in this case I certainly don’t think including it will do harm, and it could possibly help a little, if it’s the only job he has that shows payroll experience, however light, and if he’s applying for jobs involving payroll. Sometimes employers are glad to see at least a little familiarity with something like this, rather than none at all.

I think, too, that when he’s been out of work for a year, it’s useful to show that he’s worked for some of that time, even though it’s just a small portion of it. (And as for how to address that period of time, there’s some advice here.)

5. Manager told me I had to stay in the break room while waiting for a ride home

I work at a local restaurant and I just clocked out to go home. I call my parents on my cell phone to pick me up because my car was in the shop and they said they would be a few minutes. Well, I sit down at one of the booths waiting for parents, and my boss comes over and says I can’t sit there and that I have to go to the break room. I told him that I was leaving to go home and he said it didn’t matter and I needed to go to the break room and then he also said that I would be written up for having my cell phone out off the clock. First, can he tell me to go to the break room off the clock? Second, can he write me up off the clock?

Yes and yes. It’s actually not uncommon for restaurants to have a “no hanging out when you’re not working” policy, often because they want that area free for customers and/or don’t want other servers to end up talking to you instead of working.

And yes, you can indeed be disciplined for things that happen off the clock. This may be more intuitive if you think about an employer disciplining someone for harassing a coworker off the clock, trash-talking the business off the clock, or punching a manager off the clock. Obviously, waiting in a booth for your ride isn’t in the same category as those, but the general principle is the same. (Although the fact that he had a problem with you having your phone out while waiting is ridiculous and he is drunk with power and/or not thinking clearly.)

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager is asking me for twice-a-day reporting on how I’m spending my time

My current manager has started making me do a daily “plan of day” and “end of day report” to send to him. I have to record in an Excel spreadsheet what I plan to do and what I AM doing every hour and send to him daily. The problem I have, is that there are 6 men in my department and he hasn’t asked them to do anything remotely the same. Is this discrimination? I would understand if my performance was bad, but I work my butt off and always have my projects done, plus I go above and beyond to help everyone else with their work.

It’s possible that it’s illegal discrimination based on your sex, but it’s also possible that it’s about something else entirely (a difference in performance that you’re not aware of, a difference in responsibilities, who knows).

Why not start by asking him for some insight into what’s going on? I’d say this to him: “Can you tell me a bit about why you’ve asked me to send you these two daily reports? Do you have concerns about my work or my productivity?” You might hear that he does, and then you can ask for more information to try to get a better understanding of those. But if you don’t get a particularly informative answer, you could say, “My understanding is that I’m the only one in the department being asked to provide this sort of reporting, and I’d really like to understand what’s making you feel you need this kind of oversight over me in particular.”

2. Do I tell a colleague his affair with a much younger woman is causing a scandal?

I represent the products of an internationally known man. This man, who is 69 years old, is openly having an affair with one of the reps who’s 25 years old. Not only that, he is promoting her constantly in social media, helping her to advance her career, and ignoring the rest of the reps, including me. He is posting pictures of her with him all over the world and at his home. Some of his followers have contacted me asking what in the world is going on. Other reps have reached out to me, angry, because he is constantly promoting her. He is getting questions on his social media about the affair and he doesn’t respond.

I’m a 60-year-old woman, and I’m afraid if I talk to him about it, I will come across as the bitter old woman. I’m concerned because I spent a good deal of my money investing into his business to represent him. Frankly, I have followed this man for years, and thought he had sound judgment. Now I don’t think so. His actions are affecting his business and mine. Do I talk to him about it? Or keep my mouth shut because his personal life is private?

What’s your relationship with him like? If he considers you a trusted advisor and you have a lot of standing with him, it could make sense to talk to him about how his actions are being perceived. If that’s not the case, though, it’s pretty unlikely that he’s going to be terribly moved by any conversation you have with him about this. You could certainly try, but I’d simultaneously be thinking about what you want to do if the situation doesn’t change.

3. Couldn’t I just pay my employer’s fine for letting me work off the clock?

I know it is apparently illegal to work off the clock, which is just ridiculous — I should be allowed to do what I want in my free time. I was wondering if a company does get fined and they have to pay the employee their pay from the off-the-clock work, what happens if the employee gives back the money to the company and pays the fine? What happens then?

No sensible employer would allow that, when they’ve already been fined and ordered to pay back-pay.

The reason that the law prohibits working off the clock even if you want to do it is because otherwise it would be too easy for employers to pressure employees who didn’t want to do unpaid work to do it anyway. The only way to avoid that kind of pressure is to make it totally illegal across the board. If you don’t mind doing unpaid work, perhaps you can take solace in the fact by complying with the law, you’re helping to protect other people from being forced into unpaid work that they don’t want to do.

4. My raise still isn’t in my paychecks

I have question about how long it should take an employer to give you a raise. The paperwork was signed by the employee and the manager and HR over a month ago. The raise still does not appear on the paychecks. Last time HR was asked about this, they said they needed time to change the rate of pay in the computer. Again, this was over a month ago and still no raise. What can I do from here? Keep asking them? I feel like this is a big deal even though my rate went up only a dollar.

A week before payroll is next run, contact HR again and say you want to verify that your pay rate will be revised before the next payroll run. If you’re dealing with someone low-level, say this to their boss instead (and explain there’s been a month of delay).

You should also talk to your boss and say this: “Since HR didn’t correct my salary in my last X paychecks, is there anything we can do before next week’s payroll run to ensure it’s correct this time?”

5. I’m going off the grid for a month in the middle of job-searching

I’m about to finish a summer internship and move out of my college apartment, and as I haven’t found a new job or a new apartment yet, I’m looking for a change. I’ve actually decided to go live and work off the grid for a month or so in order to learn about farming, get some writing done, and generally learn how to be alone. I’ve found a few great options not too far from home, and am generally very excited about it.

I have been sending job applications and intend to continue doing so until I leave, with the assumption that I won’t hear back or start the interview process for a while (or, worst case scenario, I will be close enough to home to drive back for an interview, given the opportunity). However, a big part of this for me is to live off the grid for a while—I’ll be accessible via a shared house phone in case of emergency, and will bring my smartphone, but will likely only check it once a week or so when I have internet.

At this point, I’m planning to set up an automatic email response giving a little detail, as well as the shared house phone number for urgent matters. That should work fine for friends and family, but what if a potential job contacts me? Does it look strange to take what is essentially a vacation (although I’m not looking at it that way at all) in the midst of the application process? Particularly considering that it may look like a particularly “hippie” vacation to take? Is taking a few days to respond (or even just generally seeming inaccessible) a huge problem if my automatic email response explains the situation?

The reason I’m applying now is that I’m realistic about how long the process takes, and will really need a job within a short time of getting back, so I’d like to get things started sooner rather than later. Should I just wait to apply until I get back?

If it matters at all, most of the positions I’m applying to are student or post-grad fellowships with start-dates in December or January—I know from experience that many of these due dates are early, but they have very long application wait-times.

It doesn’t look strange to take a vacation while you’re job searching; you’re not required to halt your life just because an employer might get back to you. That said, you do risk losing out on job opportunities if they can’t reach you within a few days; people are likely to assume you’re not interested and move on with other candidates.

Having an auto-reply (as well as an explanatory voicemail message) is a good idea. I wouldn’t go into all the details about going off the grid; just say that you’re away and only checking email weekly. Be aware that some employers won’t want to wait that long; if they’re moving quickly, they may just move on to other people. But some may not mind waiting at all.

As long as you’re okay with that, I don’t think you need to wait until you’re back before you begin applying at all. However, you also mentioned that you’re going to need a job pretty quickly after you return. If that’s the case, this plan might be at odds with achieving that, and it might come down to which is more important to you — having a job pretty quickly or taking the month away.