Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I thought my in-person interview was a phone interview

I scheduled a phone interview for today (I thought) and waited the recommended 15 minutes for the interviewer to call me. As I was calling her, I received an email asking where I was, since she had expected me at noon, or “did you think this was a phone interview?” I immediately called the number listed in her signature and apologized for the confusion, saying I believed it was a phone interview and would be happy to reschedule to come in. She followed with, “Well, my number is in my email so you could have called sooner.” I simply apologized again and we scheduled another interview for next week.

My question is, how do I make up for it? The only information I got for the interview was a time and date that she was “looking forward to speaking with me.” The wording of the email said, “My company is looking to fill an account coordinator position. If you’re interested, I’d like to set up a time to chat” and her email signature just included her email, office phone number, and cell phone number, no address for the company. Now that I’ve been through this, I know not to make assumptions, but I’m stuck in this situation.

How can I apologize for the confusion and show that I’m still interested in the position before I go in for the actual interview? I don’t want to come off as someone who can’t follow directions because I really want this position, but I’m already getting bad vibes and feel like my opportunity is basically gone. (And I have definitely learned my lesson…always confirm format/location in advance!).

You both made mistakes here; it’s weird that she didn’t offer an address for the location of the interview, and yes, you should have asked whether she wanted you to talk in-person or over the phone. However, once she realized the miscommunication, there wasn’t any reason for her snotty “Well, my number is in my email so you could have called sooner.”

As for what to do now, not a lot beyond showing up for your interview and being awesome. When you do show up, I’d say something at the start of the meeting like, “Again, I’m so sorry about the miscommunication over the format of the interview. I’ve learned to clarify in the future!” Or you might send a confirming email the day before that says something like, “I just wanted to confirm that I’ll be at your office at 10 a.m. tomorrow morning to meet with you about the account coordinator position. I’m so sorry about last week’s misunderstanding, and I’m really looking forward to talking with you.”

And don’t let this throw you off. Miscommunications happen. You weren’t the only person to blame for this one, and if she acts like you committed a heinous crime, she’ll be giving you good information about what she’d be like to work for.

Read an update to this letter here.

2. Can I wear the same dress that a more senior colleague owns?

I have recently lost quite a bit of weight and have been buying new clothes. I bought a dress, intending to wear it to work but now realize I’ve seen a colleague wearing one the same (it’s from a chain-store which mass produces clothes, but their items are not cheap). We work on the same floor of about 100 people but don’t work directly together. She is more senior than me. Do I have to return the dress or can I wear it to work anyway? Would it make a difference if it was a really old dress that I was unable to return?

There’s no reason you can’t wear the same dress as a colleague; in fact, with the ubiquity of mass-produced clothing stores, it happens all the time. (Think about all the people buying their work clothes from places like Ann Taylor, Loft, J Crew, Banana Republic, etc.; there’s inevitably lots of overlap in what people end up purchasing.)

The only thing that would give me any pause if the dress is in a particularly noticeable and unusual pattern — if it’s bright yellow with green polka dots all over it, it’s distinctive enough that it might jump out to people. But even then, it’s not a big deal (unless she’s become known for wearing this highly distinctive dress in loud colors, in which case, yes, it would look weird if you showed up in it too).

3. Is it really okay to have a friend check your references?

I’ve seen a couple of times now people in comment threads suggesting that a job hunter should have a friend call a former employer, pretending to be a new employer looking for a reference, to make sure the former employer wouldn’t say something bad about their candidacy. This surprised me because to do something similar with a letter of recommendation in academia (i.e. get a copy of a letter under false pretenses and then read it yourself to see what your recommender is saying) would be considered hugely unethical. Is it really fine to have someone call former employers on your behalf like this? Or are there distinctions that I’m missing here?

Yes. It’s a very different thing. Reference letters in academia are governed by well-established rules and ethics. Professional references outside of academia are a whole different thing. There are even services devoted to checking your references for you; there’s no reason that you can’t do the same thing for free by having a professional-sounding friend call and inquire about you. (I mean, obviously an employer who found out you had done this wouldn’t be thrilled, but it’s not the same thing as violating convention around recommendations letters in academia.)

Doing this doesn’t require that the friend spin an elaborate story. It can be as simple as, “Hi, this is (real name) and I’m calling about a reference for (your name). Do you have a few minutes to talk with me about her?”

And you’d be surprised by how few references will ask for more information. When I was working in drug policy, I usually wouldn’t proactively offer up the name of the organization I was calling from, because that was back in the days when some people still reacted weirdly to the idea of not sending people to prison for using marijuana. I’d just say, “My name is Alison Green and Jane Smith gave me your name as a reference.” Very few people asked, “What organization are you calling from?” (When they did, I of course told them. But I was surprised by how infrequently it came up.)

4. My boss’s illnesses are inadvertently triggering me

I’m in a new position which I love. However, I have a bit of a problem. My boss is great, and I love them, but they are very often ill. As someone who went through a couple of traumatic medical experiences (a number of hospitalizations, invasive procedures, pain, etc), the idea of someone being physically ill shoots my anxiety through the roof. I suppose you could consider it post-hospitalization PTSD. It’s extremely scary for me, particularly when they announce they feel very sick/have been sick that day. I try to laugh it off, but it does give me vague feelings of flashbacks and some sense of paranoia. And clearly, it’ll affect my work performance that day as well. What is the best way I can deal with this?

Honestly, I think therapy. Even if your boss is sick more often than most people, this is going to come up as issue anywhere you work, when coworkers get ill. Since it’s not something you can easily control in your environment and you’re going to keep running into, I’d work on your reaction to it instead — and a good therapist (possibly a cognitive therapist, although commenters may know better than me) is probably your best bet for doing that.

5. Can I apply for an internship in my home town that wants local candidates only if I haven’t moved back yet?

I live in the Caribbean where my husband has attended medical school and I have been working on an MBA since last year—we’ll move back home to the west coast by Christmas, and spend about six months there before we move to the east coast for his clinical rotations. Six months is obviously too short a span for a full-time job, but there’s a great internship that just opened in my area for which I qualify nicely. The problem is that they’re only looking for people who live in *that* area, and I’m not technically living there right now (although I do have a permanent address I can use for the application). It’s such a good opportunity that my husband would be fine with my moving back home earlier for it.

So the question is, can I even apply? Would an employer find it problematic to hire an intern that needs to make such an effort to work in the region? Or, if I’m straightforward about my situation, would it be a good enough story to keep me in the running? I’m going to be back in town eventually anyway, I just don’t want to lie or completely drop the chance to apply.

Yes, apply! Just explain your situation: “Winterfell is my home town and I’ve been planning to move back by the end of the year. I’d be delighted to move back slightly earlier than I’d originally planned in order to take this internship.”

Also, under your address on your resume, include this:
“(In the process of moving back to Winterfell)”

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I was given an IQ test at a job interview

I applied for a copywriting job about a week ago and was told to bring my portfolio along. I spent ages preparing work samples, competency questions, strengths and weaknesses, and so on. When I got to the interview, I was given a spacial-awareness-based IQ test. I have a learning difficulty similar to dyslexia, which makes those tests very difficult for me.

When I finished the test, I was told to wait in a room. After a while, the interviewer came up and said that he could not continue with the interview, as I had scored 6 in the IQ test and their minimum benchmark was 10. He showed me to the door without reviewing my portfolio and after putting a cross through my CV.

I find this a bit strange for a few reasons: I understand why a finance company would ask for an IQ test, but this was a copywriting job. I guess it was some arbitrary way of testing how smart candidates were? Also, it seems ridiculous to dismiss a mid-level candidate before the interview. It’s a small company in a regional area so they can’t have had that many applicants. I understand why such a test would be used for a more general graduate scheme or competitive position, but not even interviewing me as I didn’t pass it, although it was completely unrelated to the role and I hadn’t been informed of it?

Yeah, it’s ridiculous.

Some employers do a terrible job of thinking through how to screen for the qualities and skills they need in a role. Most commonly, that manifests in silly interview questions (“what kind of animal would you be?”) or lack of rigorous probing into the person’s abilities, but sometimes it manifests in a love of tests that don’t actually relate to the work of the position. It sounds like that’s what happened here.

(And while a spatial relations test is particularly odd for a copywriting position, employers shouldn’t be giving IQ tests for any position. They can be legally questionable when used in hiring — not fully prohibited, but with some serious grey area around disparate impact — as well as really not an effective way to screen.)

2. My manager doesn’t want me elevating my leg post-surgery

I am recovering from a minor knee procedure. It has taken a long time to be pain free. In fact, I may need more serious surgery sooner than later.

My orthopedic physician has directed me to elevate and ice the knee during those time of higher pain. My new manager is opposed to me raising or elevating it when meeting with clients (I work in government). I have done this only a few time with clients but very, very discreetly. I dress very modestly, wearing longer skirts, dresses, and pants. I sit on the corner of conference table with a chair to the right so I can place the leg/knee up with the table shielding the whole thing. I believe the clients don’t even know I am doing this. They are across from me and can’t see under the table.

I understood her objection to this but didn’t know it to be a absolute ban with my current medical situation. It is more of a reflex to raise it if it hurts. I have suggested that I could place a blanket over my leg to reduce her concern that I don’t look professional to the client.

A week ago, while she was on vacation, someone else on staff complained to her that I was doing this (and talking about my knee status with this client) during a client meeting in the lobby area of the building ( I have a pretty good idea who it was). My first thought was I probably did this as a reflex, but who could be monitoring me that closely? Is my medical issue being talked about with others of the organization? It feels like I am being picked on. What should I do to follow my doctor’s directions and still meet her expectations?

Your manager is being unreasonable. It’s not like you’re putting your feet up on the table in a show of how laid-back you are; you’re discreetly elevating a leg on your doctor’s orders.

Say this to your manager: “My doctor has given me specific instructions about keeping my leg elevated at specific times, and I need to follow those instructions in order to have a good surgical outcomes. For the next X weeks, I may need to elevate it in client meetings. Would it be helpful for me to talk to HR about accommodating this and/or get documentation from my doctor?”

If she continues to push back, go talk to HR. This is the kind of thing that’s appropriate to take to them, and they should intervene.

3. Putting off callers who my boss doesn’t want to meet with

I’ve been an executive assistant to the CEO for past 9 years. One particular issue that arises often is putting off someone the CEO doesn’t want meet or speak with. Usually it’s a representative from a company that wants to buy ours. By the CEO’s vague answers of “Tell them I’m fully booked this month,” I assume she doesn’t want to schedule anything at all, ever. I do not feel comfortable telling these callers that she is not interested unless she deliberately tells me to.

Sometimes, after several calls, the putting off tactic works. However, recently I haven’t been unable to shake one particular person for several months. Responses such as “her schedule is full” are followed up with “Can you give me some dates and we can see if they work?” I always respond by saying I need to speak to her about her schedule before committing to a time. Unfortunately, I get the same vague answer from CEO and the cycle begins again.

What is the best way to handle this? Is there a secret code to get the point across?

Well, you could try, “Right now we’re not booking anything additional in her schedule.” But I’d also talk to your boss and see how she wants this handled. Say this to her: “Sometimes when I tell callers that you’re fully booked this month, they want to try to schedule for the following month or whatever the next available date is, or they’ll call back month after month. For people you don’t want to schedule anything with, is there something more definitive I could say to them?”

You could suggest language like, “Her schedule is very full, but you’re welcome to send written information for her to look over” or “because we’re triaging her schedule, I’m not able to offer you an appointment” or “She’s asked me to rely that she won’t be able to meet with you but appreciates your interest.”

4. Employee keeps finding new ways to violate policies

I have a particularly poor employee who does decent actual work, but she is horrible for our office culture and never does anything so wrong that she gets fired. In fact, she seems to just pick a new policy to ignore each time she gets called out for ignoring another. For example, earlier this year, she was spending an outrageous amount of time on personal phone calls. I went through the process of addressing it with the team, addressing it to her personally, then taking her to the HR office to discuss it. Finally, the personal calls stopped. Now, she is leaving work early without telling anyone, let alone asking permission. I have addressed the team about it and talked with her personally.

I feel that this will never end. She will just find another policy to ignore, never causing enough trouble to get fired for repeated offenses. I work at a rural, post-secondary institution. I am a new manager. What can I do to make this vicious cycle stop?

Tell her that you’ve noticed a pattern where she violates various policies until she’s told to stop, and that going forward you need her complying with all office policies, without exception. Tell her that if she continues to violate policies, you’ll need to let her go, and that this is the final warning she’ll receive. Put this in writing, and coordinate with whoever needs to sign off on firing her, so that they’re in the loop on what’s happening.

(Also, if you’ve noticed other issues aside from the policy violations, address those at the same time, so that it’s not a constant trickle of discussions of problems.)

Also, stop addressing the whole team about problems that are really confined to one person; that’s annoying and frustrating for everyone who isn’t doing the thing you’re addressing.

5. Moving from non-exempt to exempt

I’ve been at a new position for just over a year. My manager is fantastic and treats me fairly. I’m given respect and responsibility in my position and my duties have been growing substantially over the last year. I started by assisting with the coordination of a project and I’m now managing two projects by myself. I tend to have a lot of overtime, but since I work for the government I am asked to take it all as comp time.

My manager has asked me to rewrite my job description so it more accurately reflects the changes in my duties. She said that it will likely move me to an exempt position (I’m currently non-exempt).

I know the definitions of exempt and non-exempt, but what are the pros and cons of the change? Is there anything I need to be prepared for or think through before the transition?

Well, I’d ask about whether you’ll still be getting comp time, or whether you’ll be giving that up entirely. That’s the biggest change. (Note: In general, it’s not legal to give non-exempt employees comp time in lieu of overtime pay, but the government has conveniently exempted themselves from that rule.)

If you’re going to be giving up the comp time when you work over 40 hours a week, that’s potentially a big change, and you’d want to do the math to see if you’ll ultimately be taking home less in salary and paid time off.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. An employee clique is causing problems

I’m a new manager who’s been internally promoted and taken over a team of 13 people, divided into two main cliques. There’s a group of the tenured employees and a group of the new employees, and they can’t seem to manage to intermingle.

I would love for this to be a non-issue, but unfortunately it’s often brought up in my weekly one-on-ones where the new employees mention they feel as though they’re stepping on the tenured employees’ toes. One even referred to the workplace as “pledging into a sorority.” The more tenured employees have negative attitudes about new processes that are rolled out, which affects the team’s momentum and growth. They question decisions made by leadership without presenting an alternate solution and have a sense of entitlement that’s caused a toxic environment for others. This is starting to be noticed by other employees outside my department and affect our ability to hit goals, and I’m starting to feel more like a therapist than a manager.

I’ve arranged buddy systems, team outings, and switched up seats/lunches but nobody is warming up. Any suggestions on how to squash this and make a cohesive team?

You’re seeing this as a social issue (and trying to solve it from that angle), but it’s not. It’s not about the longer-term employees needing to mingle with the newer employees; it’s about specific behaviors they’re displaying that are impacting your team’s work results — resisting new processes and generally naysaying and creating a negative environment. That’s the piece of this that you need to address, and you can’t do it through social engineering (buddy systems, outings, and switching seats). That’s like trying to solve a sore throat by putting a cast on your knee.

Instead, need to talk with the problem employees individually about the behaviors they’re displaying that are problematic, clearly tell them what you need to see from them instead, and then set and enforce consequences if the problems continue. You should be treating this like any other performance issue that was impacting the work.

2. Employer will pay me more if I work as a contractor

I was recently extended a job offer at $58k. I replied that I was hoping the salary would be more in line with something in the $62-$65k range. The employer responded that the salaries were not negotiable but that if I was willing to waive my benefits, they would have some wiggle room. I asked him to expand upon this, and he said that if I wanted to waive all benefits, including leave, and become a 1099 contractor, they could meet $65k. He said if I only waived health insurance could he offer $60k.

I’m a bit upset because my current employer is wonderful and has a great benefits package. They’ve also been upfront with me every step of the way. This new offer seems shady. What do you make of it?

They can’t just decide to make you a 1099 contractor without restructuring the job; there are legal restrictions on how contractors must be treated. (See more here.)

Moreover, contractors generally charge significantly more than employees, because they’re not receiving benefits and are responsible for paying their own payroll taxes. It’s very, very unlikely that a 12% increase in pay would make up for that; it’s more common for contractors to charge twice what an employee would, so you’d be taking a huge hit in your overall compensation.

3. I don’t want to tell my manager what I’m getting physical therapy for

I have a recently-diagnosed medical problem that requires me to get pelvic floor physical therapy once a week for at least 8 weeks or more. Because of the hours of my physical therapist, I may have to come in late to work each time I have therapy, which I will have to clear with my manager. My manager is both a great manager and an all-around nice guy, but because of this, I’m sure he’ll ask what’s wrong, and I feel strange saying something like “it’s a private medical issue that I’d rather not talk about,” because I feel like that makes it quite obvious what the problem is.

Is it wrong/could it backfire if I lie and say I’m getting physical therapy for some other less embarrassing body part, like my back or my knees? I feel funny about lying, but I’d really rather not talk about something so personal with any of my colleagues! I’m assuming that if I have to get a doctor’s note, it will be vague enough that it won’t “out” me. Could you see this causing issues for me later on if I lie?

You can say it’s physical therapy for a medical condition without going into details, or you can simply say it’s a “weekly medical appointment for the next eight weeks.” If asked what’s going on, you can say, “nothing too serious, just something I need to take care of.” Most people aren’t going to continue to push for details at that point, but if he does, you can say, “I’d rather not talk about the details, but I can definitely get a note from my doctor if you need it.” (I’m not a fan of doctor’s notes, but in this case offering one is a way of emphasizing “this is legit, just not something I want to discuss with you.”)

4. Listing my current internship as a reference when I’m applying with them as well

I am a graduate student and currently working at an internship for a small (less than 20 people) engineering company (company X). I enjoy my work there and the office environment, etc. I graduate with my MS in December and will be looking for full-time jobs starting in the next month or so.

I plan on applying at company X for a job, but also at other companies (Y and Z). I think it would be weird to ask my current boss for a job at company X and then have him get a call from a recruiter from company Y/Z a few days later. Should I check “yes” or “no” for “may we contact” when I list company X as a previous employer for the job applications at companies Y and Z? If no, how should I explain it? I also plan on listing one of my coworkers (I work with him on a daily basis) at company X (who knows I am interested in applying there) as a reference for the other jobs. Should I do this?

Your current company knows that you’re job searching (or at least they hope that you are; you’re in an internship, so it tends to be assumed that you’re working on lining something up for once it ends), so it’s not that weird to have them get reference calls from other employers. I’d still give your manager and the coworker you’re listing a heads-up out of politeness — just say something like, “As you know, I’m applying for a job here and would love to stay on, but I know that may not happen, so I’m also applying with other companies. Would you be comfortable being a reference for me?”

5. Should I send a thank-you after a rejection when I wasn’t interviewed?

I’m a somewhat-recent grad with a good job, but one that’s not really in my field, so I like to keep an eye on job postings. I applied to a job last week that was kind of a long shot, but I really loved the location and company. I received a rejection email today that stated that they would keep my resume for future opportunities. Like I said, it was long shot, but I really appreciated being notified and not left hanging.

My question is if it would be appropriate or annoying to send them a thank-you email? I never even interviewed with them, phone or otherwise, so I don’t want to come off as someone who crosses boundaries/is annoying/etc.

Sure, that’s fine to do. It certainly won’t come across as annoying. If it’s fairly generic (“thanks so much for letting me know; I really appreciate your time”), it’s just going to be neutral; it’ll neither help nor hurt. But if it’s more charming/interesting then that (more like this one), it has the potential to help your future chances.