Ask a Manager

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Interviewer missed our phone interview twice

I’m currently employed but am really miserable at my job, so I’ve been applying for several different types of positions, trying to make a change. I submitted a resume for an office manager position at a small nonprofit, and was contacted a couple of days later by the administration director to set up a phone interview for the next day (Friday) or Monday. Unfortunately I was working late that evening and didn’t see her email until about 9 p.m. I immediately responded to say that Monday, my day off, would be perfect and suggested three times that worked well for me. I received no response on Friday or over the weekend, but made sure I was awake and prepared before the first suggested time on Monday just in case she called. After all of the suggested times had passed, she sent an email to say she realized she hadn’t gotten back to me and to ask if I was available at 9 a.m. on Tuesday. I immediately wrote back to say yes, and to make sure she had my phone number. I woke up early this morning to prepare, and waited an hour for her to call. At 10:15, I sent her an email to say that I was sorry we weren’t able to connect and to ask if she wanted to reschedule. When sending this email, I noticed that her email address is a personal one and not one associated with the nonprofit, so who knows when she will get it. I know that I should have called her at 9:20 or so, but I’m phone phobic (I’m working on it).

Frankly, I’m annoyed. I woke up early on my day off and sat at home for half the day just in case, and I woke up early before work today just to sit here anxiously awaiting her call again. This person would be my boss if I got the job, and I don’t think this speaks highly of her or the organization. Is this as big of a red flag as I feel like it is? Am I overreacting? If she emails me about rescheduling, what should I say? I really do need to find a new job, so am I shooting myself in the foot if I choose to not proceed with any opportunities?

You’re justified in being annoyed. Maybe not as much with the first phone call because she hadn’t actually confirmed that one, but the second one, certainly. If she emails you about rescheduling, I’d pay attention to whether she sounds apologetic and a bit mortified or whether she’s cavalier about it; if she’s cavalier, it’s par for the course in how she operates.

If you really need a job and don’t have many options, there’s no harm in continuing in their process; nothing says you have to accept an offer if you get one, after all. And as the process plays out, you can a pay a lot of attention to whether the organization seems organized or chaotic and unprofessional, and can get a better idea of what you’d be signing up for.

2. Exposing my tattoos to coworkers outside of work hours

I have tattoos, and I never expose them in the workplace regardless of whether it’s “allowed,” since I don’t want to affect my professional image and like to keep that part of me to my personal life. But I’m in a new job and several of my new coworkers are cool and we have done some light socializing outside of work. I have just kept my tattoos covered for socializing to this point, but tomorrow I’m going to a strenuous workout class with one of my new coworkers. I’m suddenly getting nervous about revealing my tattoos (which wouldn’t be totally covered in a short sleeved shirt). They aren’t anything offensive and this is away from work and outside of work hours, but I am concerned that she’ll casually mention it to my manager, who she is close with, and then I could be put in an uncomfortable position of having to address good-natured curiosity while still wanting to keep my boundaries at work by not revealing them, especially to my (male) manager in the office.

Is there a way I can casually ask for her discretion/confidence or would that be making too big a deal of it? Should I try to build a collection of 3/4-length workout shirts somehow?

I think you’re making too big of a deal about it. It’s unlikely that your coworker will care and even less likely that she’ll mention it to your manager. But if your manager does happen to ask you about them, it’s fine to just say, “Oh, at work I pretend I don’t have them” or “Forget you heard that; I don’t like to expose them at work” or something like that.

3. Following up months after hearing nothing post-interview

I recently did a month-long interview process with a company. It included several phone interviews and a day-long interview with the team I’d be working on. I spoke with the HR manager a week after the interview and the manager said they’d get back to me “soon” with a yes/no. I followed up a few weeks later with an email and a phone call, but never heard back. It’s been two months and it’s pretty clear they’ve passed on me. The problem is this company fulfills a very specific role in the industry I work in and there are no companies like it in my region, so there’s a good chance we’ll cross paths or I’ll want to reapply for a position in the future.

Is there a way I can email without sounding desperate and saying something to the extent of, I hope we can work together in the future? I want to make sure no bridges are burned and that in spite of the HR person not doing their job, I don’t get passed up in the future because they remember they never called me back. I also accepted another job, so maybe I can say something to the extent of I’m withdrawing my application, so it doesn’t look poorly on them?

It’s actually possible that they still haven’t made a hiring decision and you’re still in the running, although it’s at least as likely that they have and just didn’t bother to get back to you, which is weirdly common. In any case, though, since you’ve accepted another job, you have perfect context for emailing. I’d say something like this: “Hi Jane, I’m not sure if the X position is still being filled or not, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve accepted another job and so should withdraw from consideration. I also want to let you know how much I enjoyed our conversations, and I’d love to talk with you in the future if another position opens up that you think might be a good fit.”

Even without that, though, I don’t think you’d need to worry that they’d be too ashamed to reach out to you in the future because they went AWOL on you this time. Companies that operate this way don’t think it’s a big deal and don’t feel much shame about it.

4. Can my references overlap with my letters of recommendation?

I’m applying for a position that asks for three references on the online application form and two letters of recommendation to be uploaded to their system afterwards. Should two of the three application form references be the same people as those I have gathered letters of recommendation from?

The parameters of the situation are as follows:
• I have enough good references to fill all five slots, reference letters and application references, independently.
• I was contacted directly by the hiring manager who asked me if I was interested in this position.
• I met the hiring manager after going to on an information interview with them which was arranged by one of my references for this job who was a colleague of the hiring manager.
• The hiring manger and my mutual connection cannot write a letter of recommendation because she was not my direct supervisor, but is willing to give me a good reference.
• Our mutual connection is on good terms with the hiring manager.

I think it’s fine for some of your references to be the same people who wrote letters of recommendation. If the employer wants different references, they’ll tell you.

Also, I hope this is law or academia, because otherwise asking for letters of recommendation is silly and not generally done.

5. Are our new break rules legal?

I am a non-exempt assistant manager at a large retail store in Pennsylvania. For years, the managers (there are 7 of us, of varying titles and responsibilities) were allowed to combine our 30-minute unpaid lunch breaks with our two paid 15-minute breaks to get an hour-long break, which was really nice. Being away from the store for an hour allowed me to accomplish a lot, including the ability to run errands, take a nice long head-clearing walk, or just relax and catch my breath.

Anyway, about 4 months ago, there was a change in upper management, and we were told (via email) to “discontinue this practice immediately.” In addition, we were told that the 30-minute unpaid break “must be taken,” but that the paid 15-minute breaks were at the store manager’s discretion, and easier to overlook when business demands it. In other words, if it’s busy (and it always is! we are tragically understaffed in a company-wide effort to save payroll), you’re not getting your 15-minute breaks. We are also not allowed to leave early to make up for that time.

As a management team, we’ve all done what we’ve been asked to do regarding this policy change, but I wonder if it’s legal. We are required to give our employees all of the breaks that they are due throughout the day, and if they miss one because it’s busy, we let them leave early. If our employees are non-exempt, and the managers are also non-exempt, what’s the difference? I couldn’t find anything specific to this on our HR website, nor was I able to ascertain any information from the Pennsylvania labor laws.

Yep, it’s legal, assuming you’re all 18 or older. Pennsylvania actually doesn’t require employers to provide any breaks to adult employees, so your employer can come up with whatever rules they want, as long as they’re paying you for all the time you do work. (In general, to find this kind of information for your state, google the state name plus “break laws.”)

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Assistant might have bought himself a fancy watch on the company credit card

I recently took over Operations at a small applied engineering company. In the time between when the old operations manager left and I started, the owner’s assistant took over some of the operational and financial responsibility. He recently bought a very expensive watch from a local jeweler and used the corporate courier account to have it delivered to the tune of $100. When it arrived, he implied that the company bought the watch “as a birthday present.” We don’t really buy gifts for employees, and he hasn’t been here long enough to get a milestone anniversary gift (he’s been here just under 1 year). The trouble is: I can’t prove that he used the corporate card to buy the watch, since one of the responsibilities he took on was managing the corporate cards!

My coworkers have warned me that the owner has a soft spot for his assistant, and that he lets him get away with a lot. I want to nip this behavior in the bud, but I don’t want to step on toes if the owner has some agreement that he could use the courier account to have personal items delivered, or if I’m completely misreading the situation. I want to recommend that better checks and balances be put into place for company cards without immediately accusing the golden child of stealing from the cookie jar. Is there a way to gently tell my boss I think his friend is stealing from him?

You can be direct in asking the owner about it without sounding like you’re criticizing his favorite; the key is to ask in a neutral tone, one that sounds curious rather than judgmental. I’d just say something like, “Did you by chance approve the purchase of a watch for Rupert?” If he says yes, well, he’s the company owner and he can do that if he wants. But if he says no, let him know what the assistant told you. Here too, avoid judgment in your tone since he has a soft spot for the guy; your tone should be neutral/concerned.

Separately, you can ask, “Can you fill me in on how the courier account works? I might have misunderstood, but I got the impression an employee had used it for a personal item — is it okay for people to do that or something that I should stop if I see it happening?”

Beyond that, if it’s in your purview to come up with a better system for company credit cards, you should do that — and it should include having someone other than the assistant review and approve purchases. And keep an eye on this guy more broadly too in order to get more data (since currently this is more suspicion than fact).

2. I was offered a job that never panned out

I’m hoping you can help me make sense of this. Back in September, I was first contacted by the owner of a publishing company for a desk job – data entry, customer service, and the like. After three interviews, I was hired in early November. And, on that third interview, was asked if I could stay for a few hours to do some work. I said yes and just helped file a few things around the small office, since they were transitioning the work areas still.

After that, and signing a W-2 and other papers, I was told to come in after the Thanksgiving break to start officially as a part-time employee, then full-time once the first of the year rolled along.

The first workday after Thanksgiving, I was up, getting dressed when I received a call at 7 a.m. from the owner’s secretary saying things have been put behind and to come in after the first of the year.

I thought no biggie, I can hold off a month, but I was getting antsy so I still pursued other jobs. First of the year rolls around, and this time I call in and get the same response. So, I partially give up on it, seeking other work.

A month after that, this is where it gets interesting. I went to a local job fair and guess who I find, but the guy who hired me so many months ago. I asked him if he remembered me, gave him my resume, and said, “Y’know, you hired me once already, but if you want to go over my qualifications again, I’m here.” He laughed and said he’d look into it.

Each Monday after that, I called leaving messages only for his secretary who consistently said he was out and finally I emailed him to his own personal email only for him to say that they went with someone else with sales experience. I responded with, then why did you hire me, to begin with? No response. At this point, I’m just flabbergasted as to what to do about this, or if I should even bother. What happened and CAN I do anything about this?

I have no idea what happened — it could be anything from simple flakiness on their side to having concerns about your qualifications that they didn’t fully process until after offering you the job to finding someone they thought was better for the job. Regardless of what it was, they owed you a phone call and an explanation (and an apology).

As for whether there’s anything you can do about it: No, not unless you had a contract, which most U.S. workers don’t. The most you could really do is to let them know that you held off looking for other work because they hired you and that you’ve suffered financially as a result, but these sound like people who won’t even bother responding to that.

If it helps, keep in mind that they showed you something useful about themselves — that they’re rude and unwilling to tolerate even minor discomfort on their side in order to spare you major inconvenience (and possible financial harm).

3. Wearing wigs — lots of wigs

I was recently diagnosed with a medical condition that causes hair loss. Not just a little thinning, but giant bald patches all over my head. There are other aspects of my illness, but I’m working with a doctor on those symptoms and they are well-controlled, so they don’t impact my work.

I’ve been wearing my hair up a lot at work to cover the worst of it, so it’s gone unnoticed, but my hair is now mostly gone and there’s no clever way to hide it anymore.

I’d like to start wearing wigs, and people in a disease-oriented support group recommended getting a few different colors and styles to help cheer me up and make this part of the the illness fun. I do like this idea–being blonde one day, redhead the next–it takes the “omg I have to wear a wig” feeling out a bit.

Do you have any indication about how an employer would feel about this? I work for a 100+ person organization that leans on the side of conservative, but is very kind in its approach to employees. Would most employers prefer I choose one neat and simple style and color and stay with it? Or do you think more employers would be open to different types,as long as they fell within the “neat and professional range”?

I could see a conservative employer objecting to someone doing this if it weren’t for a medical condition — but being fine with it if they understood that it was. So I think it comes down to whether you’re comfortable sharing that piece of it; if you are, I say go for it.

4. Should I complain to an employer about their hiring process?

I went through a lengthy process with a potential employer, spanning about two months. The company is a start-up of three years in my field. My first point of contact was with the person I would be reporting to. I interviewed with her (after several last-minute reschedulings on her part). It went well, so she gave me an assignment to complete. This was a fairly large assignment that I worked on for the better part of a week. She was so impressed she sent it to the CEO and arranged interviews with the CEO and other department heads. They went well, so she asked for references. She called one, who–I’m as sure as you can be without hearing the conversation–raved, then she told the others conversations weren’t needed (after reaching out to them originally).

I heard nothing, so followed up the next week. She said they had chosen another candidate and best of luck with future endeavors. (I should note that the CEO mentioned during my interview with him that I wasn’t up against another candidate per se, as they were growing and just looking for new people.)

I feel that their process treated me poorly, and since the CEO talked about how bad management typically is at other firms in this industry, I feel I should tell him so. Agree? It won’t help me, but if it improves their process it might help someone else. (Do some good in the world!) I think that if a candidate undertakes a substantial written project, and the employer contacts references, something more than “no thanks, but best of luck” is called for. Or should we just accept that employers can do whatever they want because they have the leverage and candidates should just accept it?

It sounds like you think they treated you poorly because they gave you the impression that you were likely to be offered the job, and then that didn’t happen. But that’s not a reasonable complaint — they retain the prerogative to offer the job to someone else or to no one, right up until the point that they offer it to you. If you complain that they led you on, you’ll look silly and it won’t have an impact.

The one thing I see that went wrong here is that you spent “the better part of a week” on an assignment that I assume was unpaid. That’s not appropriate. I don’t know if they knew it would take that long or if you just chose to put that much time in to really excel at it, but while giving candidates a short assignment is a really smart way of assessing their candidacy, it’s not in any way okay to expect them to put a week of work into something for free. It still doesn’t put you in a position where you can now complain that they didn’t hire you (they never promised you they would, after all), but you can certainly remember for the future that you shouldn’t do that kind of significant work in this context.

5. Should I send a thank-you when I’ve already been offered the job?

I went in for a teaching position interview this afternoon. I felt like the interview went okay, and I hit it off with the department chair, but I didn’t feel like it was stellar.

Anyway, I went home and was trying to talk myself into moving on, when my phone rings and it’s them with an offer. I accepted immediately as I was really hoping for an offer in the district for several reasons.

Should I still send a thank-you letter for the interview, or include some words about being excited to start at the school (because it’s true!) or what? I’ve never encountered an offer this quickly, so I’m not sure how to proceed, but I don’t want to not send anything!

Sending a traditional post-interview thank-you would be weird, since you’re already past the stage where that normally happens; they’ve already offered you the job and you’ve accepted it. You can certainly send your new manager a note telling her how excited you are to start if you’d like to, but it shouldn’t be a thank-you.