this one weird trick cured my burn-out

by Alison Green on September 23, 2024

In last week’s question about burning out doing work that you love, I wrote this:

I used to think the cure for burn-out was lots of downtime and relaxation — and sometimes it is — but what’s worked better for me personally is regularly using my brain for something completely different. Otherwise you’re just wearing the same grooves into it all the time and (at least for me) that’s been where my worst burn-out has come from.

In the comments, someone asked:

Would you be willing to do an entire post on this advice? This was mind blowing for me, and so useful! I’d really love to hear further perspective from you on it.

I’ve found it mind-blowing too. Here’s my experience with it.

Some years ago, I started a work advice column as a fun side hobby.

Then I accidentally monetized it.

Some time passed and the revenue grew enough that the column began to feel like a significant part of my work obligations. It was no longer just a fun hobby; it became a significant piece of what I do professionally, with deadlines and pressure to publish a certain amount of content on a certain (and frankly bananas) schedule.

It was also very similar to the rest of what I was doing professionally (management coaching — so in many ways the column was the written version of what I was doing with the rest of my time).

But I still really, really loved it, so all seemed okay. If anything, I felt like I was living the dream — everything I was being paid to do happened to be things I loved.

But somewhere around 2017, I realized I was overextended. I had constant deadlines, both here and for clients. I had to write on demand, every day, whether I felt like it or not.

And then I did many more years of that.

I was cranky, exhausted, and stressed out all the time. So I tried cutting back by jettisoning a bunch of clients. It didn’t work.

Every year, I would take the whole month of December off, thinking that a big chunk of time doing nothing would fix this. During that month, I could disconnect, relax, not think about work — logically, it felt like of course that should help. But every January 1, I’d realize that it hadn’t helped that much. I would try to figure out why; in fact, every year I’ve written myself a note to consult the following December, with ideas about how to make it more relaxing next time. But nothing worked.

I want to be clear: throughout all of this, I have loved my work, both here and for clients. I’m so happy to be doing it. It’s rewarding on a ton of different levels. So it was hard to understand why I was so exhausted, other than the sheer volume.

Then, early this year, I took on a new volunteer project that used a completely different piece of my brain. I don’t know why I thought this was a reasonable decision — I was already stretched so thin and didn’t think I had time for anything additional. But something in me really wanted to do it. (I can’t discuss this fully without saying that as a Jew I had been in a very, very dark place since October 7 of last year — very close to giving up on humanity in many ways — and this new volunteer work made me feel joy again, so I didn’t apply the “do I have time for this?” screen that almost certainly would have knocked it out of consideration otherwise.)

The volunteer work is weirdly perfect for me: I do it from home so I don’t have to go anywhere. It can be done at all hours of the day and night; I don’t have to commit to a specific schedule and can do it at 2 am if I want. It’s in many ways an F-you to big pharma, which I enjoy. It saves cats’ lives.

And it uses a completely different part of my brain than I’ve been using for years. I’ve had to learn a ton of new things, I have to do math, I have to think about science and medicine, I’ve had to learn to read bloodwork … it’s nothing like the rest of what I do.

And I haven’t felt burnt out once this year, even though I’ve added work to my life rather than subtracting it.

For years it seemed self-evident that I’d need to do less work, not more, if I wanted to feel less burned out. But somehow, after just adding something entirely different, I am no longer cranky, exhausted, or stressed out.

That’s what I meant when I talked about wearing the same grooves into your brain over and over. That’s the part that had run me down, not the busyness itself. I started some new grooves, and my brain feels … recovered. From adding work, not subtracting it — the exact opposite of what I had always assumed about burn-out.

I don’t think this will work for everyone. I think often downtime and relaxation is the answer. But I’d been trying that for years without success, and this worked like nothing else.

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{ 233 comments }

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  2. Goldenrod*

    Yes, this is such a game changing thing to learn! Sometimes when you are burned out and strapped for time, you actually need to ADD something….who would have thought??

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    1. Sled dog mama*

      I experienced something similar to what Alison described. I was feeling very burnt out on my scientific job and was approached about taking on a volunteer project for my professional organization. This project is very different from the actual job and involves many different skills than my job does. I also started a small home baking business with my daughter. I am so much happier and excited to do all of this things than before I was doing all of them. (Just took my biggest order for the baking business too, 12 dozen cupcakes and a wedding cake)

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    2. Cabbagepants*

      Agree that it can be life changing! I have been at the brink of quitting for two years, just exhausted and frustrated. Then I set a goal with myself to bake a new cake every week. Even though it’s just a few hours a week, it has made a night and day difference in my happiness.

      My work still has flaws but I’m no longer feeling frantic and depressed. I can take a step back and consider how to improve things, while feeling OK at the same time.

      It’s like you open a window and let some fresh air in to your brain!

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    3. Jam*

      To be honest, this chimes with my experience in grad school – it was the times when I was busiest or at the most pressure filled points in the dissertation, when I felt so strapped for cash that “I can’t afford to do ANYTHING that isn’t making me money” – I eventually realized that’s when I really needed to find myself a new volunteer job. I think there is something about generosity and the free choice to do something that just seems to open the heart and mind.

      Reply ↓
  3. Minimal Pear*

    The big pharma + cats combination makes me think it’s something to do with accessibility of medication for veterinary use. (I might actually know what medication/what it’s for but understand Alison was vague for a reason.)

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    3. Noodles*

      I wish I knew what this was. I’m looking for volunteer work and this sounds perfect me, but I have no idea how to even start trying to google what it is.

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      1. Cat and dog fosterer*

        It’s a well-known problem for anyone who has been around cat rescue (we all have experience with it) – one of her foster cats was diagnosed with something serious a few months ago and it’s likely related to that.

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      2. Cat and dog fosterer*

        Alison mentions the FIP diagnosis below so I’ll add it here.
        It’s not a world most people know about until they need to.

        I’m more familiar with the Canadian system and there is now a way to get the medication legally and cheaply (CA$1500, whereas it was US$5000 two years ago), and that has been life-changing for a couple rescue kittens that I know who were treated in the past year. I’ve also helped with a cat who was diagnosed a couple years ago and the owners struggled to find money and a source for meds, whereas they wouldn’t have struggled if it was now.

        If you want an easy way to help, write to decision-makers to push for the Canadian medication to be available in the U.S.

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        1. Ask a Manager* Post author

          So, the deal in the U.S. is that the company that holds the patent for the meds won’t submit it for FDA approval. Since June, there have been some compounding pharmacies producing it (which vets can legally prescribe because of a compounding loophole in the law) but there are a variety of reasons why it’s not going smoothly (partly from vets under-dosing in a lot of cases since it’s brand new to them, and other user error, and partly because not every cat does well starting on pills rather than injections) but it’s a different landscape now than pre-June, which is good.

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          1. Respectfully, Pumat Sol*

            At my rescue I’ve been referring to it as the “trickle of a miracle” – I hope that as it is here in the US longer we’re able to improve dosing and access. June made it a little easier, but the road is still long and harder than it should be.

            Thank you for doing this work. <3

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          2. Meghan*

            My cat was saved during Covid due to FIP medications that I had to access illegally. I had to do it all on my own, except for the support I received from volunteers like you! I’m so grateful for people like you, Alison!

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          3. Cat and dog fosterer*

            I’m sorry that it’s so frustrating, but also that glimmer of hope post-June has made me really happy today. Thank you for taking the time to share this update <3 (and for everything you do of course! But at this moment I'm thankful for the good news)

            Awful to hear that it really is the pharmaceutical company in this case… and thank goodness for life-saving loopholes. I hope the treatments for this illness only improves in months to come. I know that FIP still kills a fair number of cats in Canada, mostly due to misdiagnosis (there's no test, only diagnosis through exclusion), so access to treatment isn't a perfect fix either.

            Thank you, thank you <3

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            1. Strive to Excel*

              Yeah. Our extended family is 1-for-2 on FIP diagnoses. My kitty had wet FIP, which our vet tech spotted and told us about in time for us to source her the treatment. Unfortunately my dad’s cat had the dry form which was not identified until it was far too late.

              But it’s a start.

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      3. Double A*

        Allison has been open about one of her cats having FIP and also has mentioned helping out with those efforts. Googling “FIP Warriors” would probably get you started.

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    5. catperson_anon*

      I’m not a regular commenter here, but I wanted to say thank you specifically for this, Alison. A few years ago, in the midst of COVID, we lost a beloved boy to a particular feline illness — and part of the grief that came along with that was knowing that if the appropriate medication had been more available + affordable, he could still be alive. The volunteers in a group that tried to help us were so supportive during that horrible time. So — thanks for what you do, both here at Ask a Manager and in your other life as a cat advocate.

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    1. Crepe Myrtle*

      Another good place to look is FromThePage (https://fromthepage.com), which is for historical orgs, archives & libraries. There are also crowdsourcing opportunities with the 1950 census and at many state and regional libraries and archives.

      Reply ↓
      1. dulcinea47*

        do not look here if you are already a librarian, historian, or archivist hahaha I’m stressed out even thinking about it.

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    6. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

      This is so cool! I used to do something called GalaxyZoo, helping classify different pictures of deep space objects/galaxies. I think maybe it’s evolved into Zooniverse; I had to drop it when I changed careers, but I’ve since switched back, so maybe I should look back into doing some of this.

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    7. Code Monkey, the SQL*

      I looooooove Zooniverse! I’m heavily invested in the Birmingham Museum Accession records project right now, and I’m so pleased with the interesting items I’ve come across while transcribing.

      Reply ↓
    11. Amy*

      OMG this is the coolest thing ever. Thank you for sharing!

      P.S. I predict this post of AAM will become one of the top on the site

      Reply ↓
    13. Elitist Semicolon*

      Thanks to everyone who offered links to crowd-sourcing projects here! I collect links like this for a work-related project so I’m grateful to have new ones. :)

      Reply ↓
    14. ICodeForFood*

      Another good one is this site that where you can transcribe articles kept in a scrapbook by a 19th and early 20th century Colorado lawman, and/or you can transcribe family letters or documents from The Female Society of Protection (S.F.D.P.) in the Culebra Valley in San Luis, Colorado between 1920-1996. Link in next comment.

      Reply ↓
  5. A non-mouse*

    I would just like to say a huge THANK YOU for this framing – it makes a lot of sense, especially as someone who likes to stay busy/productive and has a hard time just “taking time off to recharge”. I’m going to start using this when I talk with friends and coworkers about burn out because I think it will resonate a lot with them too!

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    1. AGD*

      Yeah, this is me as well. I love my (intense) job but when I try to take time off to do nothing, within a week I get bored and irritable.

      (Aside: also Jewish, have also spent a long time feeling horrible about the world this past almost-year, have been doing a lot of hiding and feeling like a coward aside from donating to one organization.)

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      1. littlehope*

        Yep, me too – most of us, I suspect – and finding something to do that feels meaningful and connects you with people who are out in the world caring and working for something that isn’t That Thing is good medicine.

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        1. Not a Girl Boss*

          I think that connecting with real live normal people doing normal-to-good things and talking about normal life stuff is really, really important.

          My mom has been pretty isolated since COVID – her husband died, she had to move to a new state where she doesn’t know anyone, and her work is fully remote and a very full time job. I noticed this attitude start to creep over her where she assumed that all people were basically the people she sees on the news – all the worst and most extreme versions of humanity, who (even when she agrees with their viewpoint) are loud and negative and harsh. She was defensive and judgmental and on edge when discussing things as simple as her neighbor’s intentions with the lawn mowing, just assuming the worst intentions.

          Then, she volunteered to work at a charity event that happens once a month. Its a very low stakes and low human interaction volunteer job as they go, but she is a totally different person when she comes back from interacting with The General Public. She talks about how nice everyone is, has random stories about their lives or their children, bumper stickers she laughed at, etc. Its just like a total reframing of what the Broader World even is.

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  6. toolegittoresign*

    I agree with this advice. What has helped my burnout most is hobbies and trying new things. I tried roller skating. I tried watercolor. I tried baking. I tried embroidery. I finally found crochet to be the thing that could be an actual hobby.
    My other advice is to spend at least 10 minutes a day intentionally relaxing. And by that I mean either meditating, or just being truly in the moment doing nothing — where your mind is actually still and not just thinking about things you have to do or people you know. Guided meditation works best for me so that an outer voice overrules the inner monologue I have running. It might feel silly at first but stick with it.

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    1. Sloanicota*

      Adding to this, I’ve never been particularly into meditation the way we teach it, but I do like sitting outside in the woods quietly (“forest bathing”) and listening slowly and deliberately to a piece of beautiful music, and taking walks, and although I’m not especially religious prayer can also feel like meditation if the breathing stuff doesn’t work for you.

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    2. Anonnny*

      Going anon for this because of the specific combination of hobbies makes me identifiable but I learned (kinda re-learned but I’d had no formal training, yikes) how to ride a motorcycle and now ride frequently with my partner. We’ve done several courses and trainings and are planning a long trip next year.

      I also got certified as a Master Gardener this year which has been great for meeting a whole new group of people and getting more exercise, plus learning some valuable skills.

      I’m slowly turning back to some hobbies I’d let go by the wayside during the last several years and I think all of it helped me make space for other more ethically-focused activities in my life too.

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      1. toolegittoresign*

        That is so awesome! I hadn’t ever had real hobbies because I had worked so much in my 20s and 30s, so I just started trying stuff. And learning to be okay with not being good at what I tried or having to practice the new skills to get better helped with burnout so much. Suddenly failure or mistakes stopped being so scary and anxiety-inducing.

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        1. WestsideStory*

          I think you have touched on a key point. When starting a new hobby, we allow ourselves to fail. And even if we never get proficient we can reach a level that allows enjoyment.
          Compare this to Work, where generally we are not allowed to fail and have to maintain a level that’s generally more than 110% in order to keep all the balls juggling in the air.
          It’s not just mental rest to switch gears. The whole body relaxes when the mind is free to play.

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        2. Not a Girl Boss*

          Failing safely is such a huge thing for me. I’m definitely a perfectionist and have often described myself as “being relieved I didn’t fail, rather than happy I accomplished something.”

          I took up powerlifting as a hobby. Which means that I objectively and completely fail lifts as a regular occurrence. Loudly and in front of people. Who are often more impressed by how hard you tried than by actually succeeding at something. It has been the most freeing and exhilarating experience.

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        3. Spacewoman Spiff*

          Yes, I love that idea of being OK with failure! And of hobbies as an area where it’s really safe to fail, as well. I feel like knitting has been so helpful for me on that front…at first I was terrified of failing, and I gradually grew more comfortable with it, and now I’m confident knowing that I can always fix my errors, or at worst frog the whole thing and start over. No big deal, because what I mainly enjoy is the act of knitting itself.

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    3. Lily Rowan*

      I still have trouble with my mind being still, but doing something fun I really have to focus on at least has the same function of not letting me think about things I have to do, etc. For me it’s been learning and playing music!

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  7. Strive to Excel*

    Some anecdata: I have a couple specific hobbies/games I enjoy. There was a time when one of my hobbies overlapped my day job activities in a specific way (some time tracking and spreadsheets got involved); activities I normally enjoy. It was immediately exhausting and no longer felt like a hobby, even for an activity that usually reliably helps me wind down for the day. This makes me feel like the brain grooves/specific activities is more accurate!

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    1. ArtsNerd*

      I work in the arts and culture sector doing back-office management stuff. When my employer mostly did music, going to concerts triggered my “work brain” even if it was a totally different genre, type of venue, etc. When I worked in film, going to movies did the same. And even though I could see as many shows at my employers for free (in my own time), I’d usually rather go home and live the rest of my life.

      I love live music; I love film. I wouldn’t be working in the sector if I didn’t, but it’s SO important to mix things up in your life!

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      1. Slow Gin Lizz*

        I majored in music in college. I was always hella impressed with the profs I had who would teach music all day and then go to concerts at night, whether they were professionals performing at the school or random student recitals or orchestra concerts. When I was working full time as a musician and music teacher, the last thing I wanted to do was go to another music event. That’s when I started hiking, which is the hobby I’m most dedicated to now. I still freelance as a musician but have a day job, and even now I don’t go to too many concerts in my spare time, but that could also be because I have a strong sense of JOMO.

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  8. un chip más chill*

    I was feeling super burnt out after a few months on the job market this summer , and I ended up deleting social media from my phone and getting really into making jam. I feel like having this totally different hobby really helped me to do better at interviews and not take rejection as personally, and I ended up getting a fantastic job at the beginning of this month. And now I have a ton of jam for Xmas gifts! I fully co-sign this “diversify your brain activity” advice. Also obligatory thanks to this column and the book for helping me through an incredibly difficult transition.

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    1. Lizzo*

      I am also feeling job market burnout. Happy to hear you’ve got something new and awesome! Thanks for permission to shift gears and explore other things. I’ve considered this and just hadn’t quite been able to do it.

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      1. un chip más chill*

        It is so hard. And motivation can be so hard and fleeting, be kind to yourself and try to be mindful of what things fill your cup and lean into those. Remember – Being on the job market sucks but you don’t suck!

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  9. KCD*

    This post really resonates with me, thank you for expanding on your previous answer! I think this is exactly the approach I need to follow.

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  11. Trout 'Waver*

    Here’s what works for me.

    Having survived burnout (with the help of a great therapist), I’ve found I need to listen to myself and proactively manage stress and burnout. I have to check in with myself and prioritize time for my anti-burnout activities. The old adage about securing your oxygen mask before assisting others comes to mind.

    Also, create rituals. They keep you going when you’re stressed and exhausted. A strong set of rituals around waking up, eating, and caring for yourself can take away the decision fatigue and executive function stress that’s difficult when you’re feeling burnt out.

    Lastly, my destressing activities need to actively decrease stress. Like Alison, just avoiding it for awhile doesn’t do anything for me long-term.

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  12. Sloanicota*

    Truly fascinating. Thanks for sharing this. This reminds me that when I start to feel blue, I tend to withdraw and assume that more time chilling tucked up at home will make me feel better, but instead I start to spiral worse, which makes me think I must need to withdraw further etc. Going out and seeing people / doing things will actually often make me feel better faster, even though I passionately don’t *want* to that in the moment.

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    1. crookedglasses*

      Ooof, so true. It is honestly pretty rare that in the moment I want to do the things that will make me feel my best. If I don’t have at least a loose plan/intention for myself then I default to splooting out on the couch.

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  13. So they all cheap ass rolled over and one fell out*

    A similar but different thing that works for me, at least for short term burnout, is doing a task that’s more physical. It could be physical leisure like taking a hike. but physical labor seems to help more sometimes, like weeding the yard or cleaning the garage.

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    1. Sloanicota*

      I agree I think that’s why so many people use exercise as stress relief. I use yardwork personally because it’s dirty and I’m not doing anything mental, and it’s often doing the same thing for an hour or more, so it’s the opposite of my job where I’m generally buzzing around jumping between different software on my couch all day.

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    2. Successful Birthday Rememberer*

      This makes sense to me. My job is certainly not physical. My volunteer work, which I love, is very similar to my job (project managment). After completing a major fundraiser this past weekend, I am worn out. I am going to switch to doing some hiking and/or yoga as a way to meditate / recharge instead of bingeing Dexter re-runs.
      I can also sometimes get a bit of a lift from doing a ‘cleaning binge’ in short bursts. Run around cleaning and tidying for 10-20 minutes at a fast pace gets me some activity and I feel better about having straightened up my home. Doesn’t always work but sometimes helps. Especially when the dishes are piled up.

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    3. Strive to Excel*

      I don’t have the original quote to hand, but there’s advice from ~400 AD from a monastic community saying that brothers struggling with problems of the mind and heart should be assigned tasks involving lots of simple physical effort; yard work, baking, sewing. Things to occupy the hands but allowing the mind to be at peace.

      It does seem to hold up some 1600 years later!

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    4. wordswords*

      Yes! I’ve found this too.

      A lot of people find exercise helpful for this, but exercise qua exercise has always felt like a chore to me. There’s a physically active hobby I’ve done for years and years, and love very much, but gradually I became more involved in leadership and organization in that hobby, which has shifted it more into feeling like another kind of work as well (albeit a fun hobby also).

      But a few months ago, I picked up a different creative/crafty hobby that involves spending a few hours a week completely away from any screens, working with my hands, focusing effort and attention on making on a physical object. And it’s WONDERFUL. I’m not going to say it’s fixed my life or anything, lol, but the stress relief of having something to play around with and be mediocre at that only involves my body and shaping things in the physical world is way more meaningful than I anticipated.

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    5. J*

      This is where I am. My day job is a desk job with lots of reading and research and forms but adding a hobby that involves daily walks and something creative (photos) and documenting them on social media has really given me passion again.

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    6. Anax*

      Absolutely. I always thought the “get up and stretch every X minutes” was just to prevent carpal tunnel – but go figure, even five minutes starting the laundry or standing up while reading a book just… totally resets my brain, and takes my workday from a drowsy slog to something totally enjoyable. Maybe that’s obvious to everyone else, but gosh, it’s been a gamechanger for me.

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    7. Luva*

      I’m packing my house in preparation for a move, which is a ton of work and stressful in a way, but overall it’s making me feel less stressed to have a specific focus that’s very physical and concrete. I burned out hard 2 years ago and am still recovering, and was worried that adding a move would put me back there, but so far it seems to actually be better.

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  14. Oryx*

    About a year ago I took up a new hobby that really forced me outside my comfort zone and it has been tremendous. Not exactly curing my burnout but giving me and my brain something else to look forward to and focus on so I don’t only focus on work and that feeling of being burned out. Interestingly, recently there was a stretch of about a month where my hobby did overlap with work and at first I was excited but soon realized that nope, I needed to keep these very separate. And while I’ve briefly considered monetizing this hobby, I also decided that would be bad because I have tried doing that in the past with other interests and it ended up ruining the hobby for me.

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  15. Elizabeth West*

    Thanks for sharing this, Alison! I’m sure it will be really helpful to a lot of your readers as well as anyone who happens upon the post.

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  16. NobodyHasTimeForThis*

    This makes sense. I realize that I am most burned out by my job during the portion of the year where the job is less challenging.

    I used to have a second job and I kind of miss it. When my youngest leaves home next year I may take on a second job again in a totally different field.

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  17. HannahS*

    I completely agree. It’s a hard thing for me to remember that when I’m at most stressed and exhausted what I need is to do different things, not to endlessly relax. TV and phone time is not restorative, unless done deliberately and mindfully. There’s a big difference between saying, “Ok, on Saturday night Mr. S and I watch a movie with popcorn” and “I’ll just lie on the couch with my phone between toddler’s bedtime and my bedtime every single night.” Nope. Either I’m so tired that I need to go to bed, or if I’m going to stay up I need to do something–sew, go for a swim, call a friend, write a blog post, something.

    And I hear you about being a Jew. It’s been utterly brutal, on so many fronts.

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    1. Sloanicota*

      It’s interesting because I find myself sort of CRAVING the shut-off TV and scroll time, and yet I would agree that it’s probably less restorative than almost any other type of activity. And yet my brain yearns for it!

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      1. HannahS*

        Same!! I want it so badly, and yet I never want to stop and there’s no point at which I feel I’ve had my fill, you know? And I think that speaks to how unrestorative it really is, at least for me in that context.

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      2. Elsewise*

        My therapist and I talk about the difference between REST and RESTORATION. Watching TV and scrolling is rest, but it’s probably not restoring you. Working in the garden or going to the gym is restorative, but possibly not very restful. The key is to find a balance.

        (I say that like it’s a solution I’ve found and mastered. It is not, I’m a disaster.)

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    2. Successful Birthday Rememberer*

      I find myself stressing out over the anniversary of the Oct 7th attacks coming up. And obsessing on related news stories. It is deeply disturbing. So I understand that too.

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  18. Stuart Foote*

    I find I sometimes feel more tired on days I just “relax” and don’t do anything vs days where I don’t work, but do something meaningful (even if just meaningful to me) instead. I love running, and I think having that outlet really helps me avoid work burnout.

    On an unrelated note, I really feel for Jews post-October 7. As a country, Israel is not perfect, but a ton of online commentary has pushed far over the line into anti-Semitism. Post Musk-takeover, I find lots of blatant, unashamed anti-Semitism on Xitter now. Just really horrible stuff.

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    1. evens*

      And at the universities too. I can’t believe how awful and antisemitic these allegedly prestegious schools have become.

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  19. Pat Patterson*

    I used to do research for families looking into their ancestry. I loved it. I once thought it would be a good retirement job. But, lately I’ve been wondering if I should pick it back up and make it a full time hobby/freelance opportunity. The effort required to do that though is always front of mind, since I do feel overwhelmed. I wish I could find a partner to share that journey with! Wishful thinking, but still something to think more on. Thank you for the inspiration!

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    1. Sloanicota*

      It’s funny that (at least in the US, I can’t speak to anywhere else) monetizing a hobby is a lot of people’s dream – because then you could do what you love all day! – but when it happened to me, it did *not* make me happier day to day and now I sort of resent that my previous self-care hobby is basically a second job. I mean, maybe it would be better if I made enough that it was my only job, but since it used to be my favorite thing in the world, I still sort of feel a big hole where that hobby used to be. I haven’t found anything different that I like as much yet.

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      1. Daughter of Ada and Grace*

        I’ve had multiple people suggest that I should sell various things that I knit/crochet. My usual response is a variation of “But then it would be work, and then what would I do for fun?” (Sometimes with a side of “And I already have a job”, since for some reason a lot of the time it’s coworkers saying this.)

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      2. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

        I had a job doing something that I loved, and all it did was make me start to hate the thing I loved because it became work. Changed jobs and that got better.

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        1. PropJoe*

          “Hey PropJoe you’re really good at fixing computers, you should get a job fixing them!”

          “Been there, done that, got the t shirt & the paycheck. Never again. I have no desire to be in an on-call rotation, regularly have to work evenings & weekends, and catch hell from everyone because they only see me when something breaks.”

          I loved the job at first, oddly enough. But over time I grew to loathe it. Probably didn’t help that I worked for a boss that was so terrible, I quit without having anything else lined up.

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    2. Professor Plum*

      I think one of the problems with turning a hobby into a business is that you have to do much more than the hobby activity—there’s the marketing, the selling, the inventory, the accounting, the customer service—in other words, the business stuff.

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    3. J*

      I got really worried about monetizing a hobby so I decided to try and make my hobby more public. I do house and local people histories and share on instagram. So far I haven’t moved to monetize but it’s given me a sense of balance and perspective on how I might expand the work and in the meantime it’s given me a captive audience. I actually balance it right now with taking photos on walks that trigger the research so it still feels fun. Something to think about.

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      1. Sloanicota*

        I think a lot of things would be fun if you were like, comfortably retired, and could do as much or as little as you felt like and weren’t dependent on the income (and didn’t feel too much pressure to satisfy external people / meet deadlines), but that isn’t the same thing as needing your hobby to pay for your life.

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  20. Lizzo*

    You nailed it!

    I do this on both a small and large scale: I cannot sit at my desk for more than 2 hours before I lose focus. If I go do something else that is NOT computer related (could be anything from laundry to a bike ride), then when I come back to my desk I’m much more productive. I only learned this once I fully leaned into working from home. Sometimes my breaks are 1-2 hours, so my work day is ultimately longer, but I get way more done during the hours I do work.

    I also have a completely separate freelance career that I’ve managed alongside my full-time work, and until you wrote this post, I was having trouble pinpointing why having that career has been so helpful psychologically.

    Thanks for this little bit of mental clarity, and hooray for the positive impact this has had on your life!

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  21. Jessica*

    Honestly, I think that parenting was a massive help to my mental health when I was finishing my PhD! Being with my kiddo (born just as I started working on my dissertation) felt like a break from PhD work, and having quiet time to read and write felt like a break from parenting! It wasn’t all sunshine and roses, of course, and I often felt stretched too thin, but it turns out I was able to finish at just about the same time as my peers who were spending 60+ hours a week working on their dissertations.

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    1. Hroethvitnir*

      Wow! The idea of adding a baby to a PhD sounds like basically the most overwhelming combination possible, haha.

      You’re amazing: belated congratulations on both!

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    2. Nameyname*

      Funny, I had a very similar experience going back to school for a Master’s with a baby. Suddenly there was a deadline at 5 when the babysitter would go home, and I had to focus and be efficient with my time. Got a lot more studying done in less time than my classmates who were hanging around all day!
      Graduated with honours :-)

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  22. Anonym*

    I’m sure you left out the detail for a reason, but I would so love a volunteer opportunity like that! If you’re willing to share more, I’d be so grateful. If not, can commenters share volunteer opportunities that can be done from home at whatever time you have?

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    1. Minimal Pear*

      Sorry if my first comment got caught in moderation and I’m double-commenting. I don’t see a moderation notice so I think it just disappeared but you never know.
      Anyway, I was saying that I think it probably has to do with accessibility of medication for veterinary use. I might know the exact one, but I know Alison was vague for a reason.

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    2. Strive to Excel*

      I’m 95% certain I know what this relates to, if not the specific work involved, but will not guess out loud. THANK YOU if it is what I think it is.

      Volunteer work: I think nearly any volunteer group has a level of background planning and admin that needs to get done and often isn’t or is added to a pile of “bookkeeper/secretary” tasks. Sometimes they have a dedicated admin person, sometimes not. See if a local group has something like that they can use help with?

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    3. Valerie Loves Me*

      Chiming in to say that local animal welfare organizations ALWAYS need volunteers. There’s usually some training involved, but whether it’s fostering or taking a dog for a walk or coordinating donations of goods, it’s a great opportunity to feel good about doing good.

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    4. Potato Potato*

      YMMV because some of these opportunities are unstructured or local. But here are mine. Also, I don’t do any research for my job and I enjoy research, so that’s usually what I gravitate towards:
      – compiling lists of resources for queer or neurodivergent adults and copy/pasting the links into social media in response to questions (mostly on Facebook, but on other social media too)
      – compiling other lists of local activist/political events and posting them to different groups
      – researching sources of funding or food for a local food bank, and then sending the initial email requesting donations. Then somebody else picks it up if they respond
      – spending time in online spaces where people ask for help, and then helping them find the nearest source of support (which is easier given my lists)

      I know most of these aren’t formal volunteer opportunities with a 501c and a volunteer coordinator, but I know I’m helping people anyway, and I have the knowledge base to vet the resources that I’m pointing people towards.

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      1. Strive to Excel*

        That’s about what I thought it was related to. I’m pretty sure thanks to either the organization you’re in or a similar organization I now have a kitty with no FIP, so, thank you.

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      2. MissBliss*

        Thank you for doing whatever it is you’re doing to help FIP kitties. We lost a darling, sweet little 8 month old kitten from what most likely was dry FIP but which, despite many vet visits and thousands of dollars, was only apparent in retrospect. I’m so glad things are changing on the availability of treatment. Now if we could just diagnose it sooner.

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    7. Nocturna*

      The Library of Congress has a volunteer transcription program, and more-local libraries or archives may also welcome volunteer transcribers. For most of these, you’re working off of a digital copy of the original, so you can do it from home.

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    8. Hlao-roo*

      This is definitely not the volunteering discussed in the posts, but check out Zooniverse to see if any of their projects strike your fancy. I dabbled in their Old Weather project (transcribing weather data from old ships logs) a while back. It looks like that particular project is over now, but they have a lot of other active projects. From what I remember, it’s all computer-based, work on it at your own pace/during whatever hours type work.

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    9. Grits McGee*

      Crowdsourced science, transcription, or other data entry projects are a perfect fit for what you’re looking for-
      National Archives Citizen Archivist Program- https://www.archives.gov/citizen-archivist
      Federal Crowdsourcing and Citizen Science Catalog- https://www.citizenscience.gov/catalog/#
      Smithsonian Digital Volunteers- https://transcription.si.edu/

      These are just a few big ones that I remembered off the top of my head. There are many, many other similar projects on the internet, including international projects.

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    10. Office Skeptic*

      Another “at home on your own time” volunteer activity is letter writing. You can write letters to prisoners, which I do (always do that through a nonprofit, not just from a penpal website), and I’m sure there is letter writing for others too, such as folks in nursing homes or homebound. You can also write for a specific cause, like writing to senators about certain policy issues.

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    11. Jaunty Banana Hat I*

      Fostering can be done at home! You do need to have some kind of dedicated space for it, but a spare 1/2 bath or even a small walk-in closet is a bigger space than most shelter cages, especially if you’re fostering a mama cat with kittens.

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    12. mayflower*

      Phone banking is something I’ve gotten into recently! I don’t know if it’s a hobby exactly, lol, but it is using different parts of my brain. And I actually have pretty bad phone anxiety, but having a script and a list of sympathetic supporters of your cause (this will depend on who you’re phone banking for, but lots of times you’re not trying to call people and completely change their minds) helps a lot. And I’ve really enjoyed some of the conversations I’ve had, and I feel like I’m contributing to community building.

      I’ve been phone banking with Not Another Bomb lately, but obviously the election presents a lot of opportunities if you’re interested in politics! I’ve had the best experiences phone banking for local politics.

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    13. Grey Coder*

      Creating open source maps from aerial imagery, often in response to natural disasters. The org is Humanitarian OpenStreetMap, one of the initiatives is called Missing Maps. There is a bit of learning to use the software, but there is also an app called MapSwipe where you are just identifying whether or not there’s a building in the picture. Like a Captcha with a purpose!

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    14. Bitte Meddler*

      It’s not a formal volunteer gig, but I get a lot of satisfaction out of helping people in cat disease support groups (for the diseases that I am, unfortunately, intimately familiar with).

      Each diagnosis has its own steep learning curve, which can look like an impossible mountain to climb if you’re trying to gather all the information on your own.

      The best treatment protocol for one of them (diabetes) is vastly different than what most vets are still recommending, so there’s a lot of emotional support, hand-holding, and helping people get comfortable enough with the proper protocol to be able to push back on what their vet is telling them to do.

      ** In case anyone is wondering, most vets tell owners to NOT test their cat’s glucose at home, to feed them only twice a day, and the vets usually start the cats on too high of a dose.

      The best treatment protocol is test at home, twice a day at a minimum but ideally more, track the numbers on a spreadsheet, free-feed low carb canned food, and only change insulin dosage in 0.25-unit increments unless the cat experiences a hypoglycemia event. And the best insulin is one of the slow-release kind like Lantus (semglee glargine).

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  23. Rest*

    I think this really falls in line with Alex Soojung-Kim Pang’s ideas around active rest! After I read his book I started incorporating dance classes and baking into my “rest” time and it’s been a game changer for me working in a high burn-out field.

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  25. too many dogs*

    Winston Churchill took up painting because he felt that his brain was tired from all of the writing he did. He thought (back in the 40’s, mind you) that painting would use a different part of his brain and force him to think differently, while giving the writing part of his brain a rest. He said, ” We cannot aspire to masterpiece. We may content ourselves with a joy ride in a paint box.”
    I find I often don’t relax at home by just trying to rest. So I knit for some nursing homes, and some hospitals. I had to makeup a shawl/wrap/scarf thing that wouldn’t catch on wheelchair wheels, on walkers, or trip people, or slide off their shoulders. It needed to be easy & quick enough to be fun, not to make me tense because I wasn’t finishing it fast enough. I find that selecting the colors of yarn to blend together challenges my brain, but relaxes it, too. The repetitive movement of the knitting is VERY relaxing. I can do it while watching a movie or TV. The best reward is delivering them to the nursing homes. Because it is the opposite of what I do at work, it provides great relaxation and stress relief.

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  26. Elitist Semicolon*

    This makes sense to me not only because of brain shift, but also because I often get decision paralysis if I have unstructured time. So many options! But if I say, okay, I’m going to go do Cool New Art Hobby and the studio opens at a certain time, then the rest of my day falls into place. I end up feeling much better having gone for a bike ride and showered and practiced some music and then spent 4 hours at the studio than I would have if I’d laid around on the couch all day.

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  27. Three Flowers*

    When I was about four years into six years of graduate school, my therapist gave me similar advice: do something *else*, with other people. About the only good thing in the city I lived in was a huge government-subsidized community arts center, where one could take classes in just about any medium for about $8/week, so I signed up. I took the same basic drawing class about four times in a row because to draw what you see, you basically have to turn off the part of your brain that focuses on what it *is*, aka the analytic part I was using all the time.

    I have a lot of half-finished pencil drawings of vases and mannequin feet and teapots, and I probably would not be sane or have a PhD without them.

    Alison’s advice is spot-on. (Unfortunately my current city does not have an affordable arts center.)

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  28. Maisonneuve*

    This sounds like a version of flow.
    From a different perspective, the need to get out of my head and usual thoughts, is the reason that the best, most re-charging vacations I’ve had were ones filled with learning and seeing new things. Sitting on a beach for a week just keeps me ruminating. I love beaches, but a day or two is enough.

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  29. Sean*

    This is exactly why I was so pleased to find pottery during the pandemic. It’s such a visceral art – your hands are dirty, you’re messy and hunched over, and it’s the exact opposite of sitting at a computer all day. I also love to write but leaving one computer to sit in front of another is not exactly a brain switch, and I found that pottery really let me shove work thoughts out of my brain. Plus, I have a bowl at the end of it!

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    1. crookedglasses*

      Yes, I’ve also found that I get way more mileage out of a wildly different, visceral kind of activity than just switching from one computer, cognitively demanding activity to another. Even one that’s meaningfully different.

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    2. old curmudgeon*

      Pottery was my escape hatch for years, until my body rebelled against the physical demands of throwing a pot. I always explained it as “throwing a pot on the wheel is a very centering experience,” which is a bad potter’s pun but also very true. I couldn’t focus on whatever mess at work was driving me nuts if I wanted to keep that bowl from collapsing, and it saved my sanity through many crises.

      Goldurned arthritis, anyway.

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  30. CJ*

    Same – I’ve been doing the same job at a couple different places for what I realized is twenty years, and the burnout was… _is_ real. (The whole industry takes pride in taking a whole tier of workers and lighting them on fire with the cheapest gasoline available.)

    As part of a theoretical career pivot, I’ve started a data analytics certificate, and flipping around that pivot table I could, as the kids say, feel my brain go brrrr in a way it hadn’t in a long while.

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  31. crookedglasses*

    I love this! I’ve also found that oftentimes I feel more rejuvenated after what I think of as “active rest” – going for a hike, painting, something that fully engages my mind and/or body and is totally different than what I’m doing most of the time.

    There is a place for flopping down in front of Netflix, for sure, but I have found that other activities often leave me more meaningfully relaxed.

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  32. Casey*

    We rarely see “behind the curtain” of AAM but I just want to say it’s so impressive that you’re able to give such thoughtful and kind advice day after day while dealing with these heavy existential questions in your personal life. Thanks for all you do, Alison.

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  33. MissGirl*

    Be careful though that one doesn’t add more anxiety to your life. For years, I worked as an analyst and as a ski instructor. Instructing is surprisingly anxiety-inducing. I did burn out and have to drop instructing. It took a lot for me to do that because it had become a part of my identity and social circle. Hobbies that you don’t monetize are great things to have.

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    1. Boof*

      There was a book out there I started reading, I didn’t get through it but they raised the distinction between performative wellness and actual wellness. Actual wellness involves figuring out your core values and make sure you are honoring them. Performative wellness is doing something that just adds to the stress and isn’t actually doing much for you. So, for example, yoga may totally make one person feel refreshed and like they just had some “me” time, and make another person just feel stressed out about getting the right gear/the right schedule/ “doing it right”.

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  34. MCA*

    When you feel stressed and overwhelmed, you have a lot of obligations that you CAN’T cut. So you end up cutting the fun stuff. Which is exactly the wrong thing to do. Gretchen Rubin talks about this in her book “The Happiness Project”.

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  35. fish*

    From one Jew to another, thanks for what you do, thanks for being visible, and sending you and all of us strength and solidarity in difficult times. Am Yisrael Chai.

    Reply ↓
    5. Gila Monster*

      Yes, it’s all A Lot. If you aren’t Jewish, please know that your Jewish colleagues are likely struggling now, in ways they may not be comfortable discussing at work.

      A sweet new year to y’all, and may we know no more sorrow.

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    6. Anon here*

      @Alison – I know this is your space so I know that you will set the boundaries as you see fit, but as a Jewish person who resonated with much of what you said about heartbreak and challenge since October 7th, but who is also very concerned about the Israeli’s government actions in Gaza, I feel deeply uncomfortable with the repetition of Am Yisrael Chai in the comments section – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Am_Yisrael_Chai. That might be your position (I don’t presume to know) but I felt like your original statement was vague enough that many people could empathize…

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        2. Anon here*

          I don’t need to get in a political debate with you on the site you own – but I hope that if you feel the pain of the loss of life that has continued since October 7th, you can also recognize how that phrase (despite its many historical and current meanings) has been weaponized to justify it.

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  36. History Nerd*

    This is why I say I wouldn’t quit my day job if I ever won the lottery! I would just do it less – I love my job so I would still want to do it but it takes a lot out of me. It’d be great to have more time to do some of my hobbies that fill me back up.

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  37. alldogsarepuppies*

    My wedding plan is a school councilor by day, but started her own wedding planning business to “fill her cup”. I personally couldn’t imagine that second job as being a way to decompress but it works for her and she was FANTASTIC.

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  38. Boof*

    Thank you!
    And very interesting – worth further study! I have found that between being a parent of small children + physician, burnout and exhaustion is always threatening – but when I can carve out just a little time for (exercise, gardening, a movie, some fun and self centered project or activity that doesn’t require me managing the needs/desires of a bunch of other people the way almost everything else in my life does, though for me ideally it does involve getting away from screens unless I am extremely burnt out and tired) I feel / so much better/. It’s not a panacea because one can only work so much, there are limits, and if there’s just more work to do than can be accomplished the way I want in time I have, that is burnout right there. But yes something completely different can go a long ways to helping.

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  39. epicdemiologist*

    Ruth Stout, author of “How to Have a Green Thumb Without an Aching Back”, remarked that “change of occupation is rest”. I think her point is related to yours, and gives a hint as to what we can do to help avoid burnout if we don’t have time or energy to pursue a hobby.

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  40. sb51*

    Maybe (if people don’t just do it in the comments today) this could be a future source of reader suggestions/discussion post! I find it’s sometimes true for me, sometimes not; there are tasks I find hard (and similar) whether I’m doing them for [work area] or [volunteer activity], and they’re too similar to help balance each other. (Even if it’s just “write some emails that need to be better-edited than just dashing them off”.) Plus, if they both have real, hard deadlines, that can add to the stress. Versus a hobby that I can set down and pick back up when a crunch happens.

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  41. Insert Pun Here*

    I have absolutely found this to be true for mild to moderate burnout/depression type stuff. A couple of other things to consider:
    -if you’re starting a new volunteer opportunity, look for something with a bigger org. They will be less reliant on any one individual volunteer, and that’s less pressure on you.
    -if you’re picking up a new hobby, don’t go all-in on buying expensive equipment, etc, at first. If you end up not really enjoying it, you’ll feel guilty about the expense.
    -if a new hobby or volunteer work seems like Just Too Much, try seeing if your local college/community college has anything interesting in their adult ed/continuing education offerings. Pick something you don’t know much about, and give yourself permission to bail if you find it boring.

    The goal here is to find something interesting and engaging to do while minimizing the potential for it to start feeling like a chore or a tedious obligation. (And if you end up super loving it, you can always commit more of your time later.)

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  42. Office Skeptic*

    I’ve heard this referred to as “opposite time” as in, we need time doing an activity that is truly the opposite of what we do for work.

    I sit and write/edit on a computer for work, mostly alone. So my “opposite time” is outdoor volunteering to save trees (manual labor! Nature!) and improv (With people! no editing! Just sillyness!). These two things have helped me so much. I highly recommend both!

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  43. Quinalla*

    Yes, this works for me. One of my hobbies is playing video games – sometimes online (usually with friends/family) and also solo. Some games are too similar to the thinking/organizing needed at my job and that can burn me out, but ones that are very different from my day job are energizing even though they can sometimes have their own little stresses and challenges. Ditto board games where I am drawn to ones where I get to lie and pretend to be “evil” – I don’t play politics at work except bare minimum so this is fun for me, might not be for people who have to play a lot of politics. Ditto D&D gaming. It also reminds me of college where if I had too much spare time (hah, what a life, cannot imagine it now) I would start doing poorly in class. I did better when I had an almost uncomfortably full schedule, but a good chunk of that had to be relaxation/socializing and non-engineering things (mostly band for me with a few other clubs, etc.). That was what gave me the correct energy/rest to function highly.

    The big trick for me for burnout is one that everyone tells you all the time and that is regular exercise. I don’t enjoy exercising, I don’t hate it, but I don’t get a endorphin hit like some from it so it is at best boring for me. However, when I pay attention to my stress levels before/after, I notice the difference especially when I have a week where I exercise 3-4 times vs weeks where I did 0-1. I also found that 35-40 minutes is my sweet spot, less than that is not as effective unfortunately. Exercise didn’t really click for me until I read the lovely explanation in the book Burnout by the Nagoski sisters as until then I didn’t understand why exercise helps with stress. Great explanation of the stress cycle and why physical activity is the best way to complete the stress cycle. I have to understand why or I will constantly rebel against doing what I am told for the sake of it, haha. This book really broke it down in a way I had never seen before. Entire book is amazing, but this helped me so much to be able to truly self-motivate to exercise.

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  44. hypoglycemic rage*

    I used to work in libraries – my eventual goal was to work in them full-time, but the pandemic changed all that – and at one point I worked in a few at a time.

    But I also volunteered at my local hospital (at the front desk) a couple afternoons a week, and I LOVED it. I didn’t get paid, but I loved the volunteers I worked with. It was also a nice break, because as volunteers, we didn’t have the authority to make many, if any, decisions, so if people complained, we’d direct them to someone else. It was nice to get to turn my brain off a little bit. Plus it was just a totally different environment. I can’t volunteer there now because I don’t live in that area anymore and I work full-time, but man, I’d go back in a heartbeat if I could.

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  45. foofoo*

    I randomly picked up crochet recently. It’s been a huge change from engineering and video games and I’m enjoying making little stuffed animals out of yarn. It’s so different from anything else I do, and even though it only takes up a tiny bit of time (I can crank out a small stuffed animal in under six hours), I’m learning new things and creating something that’s completely different from what I normally create.

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  46. Change Manager*

    I’m a change management consultant by day, and an avid horse back rider, e bike rider and cross stitch fiend by night. I definitely need to use other parts of my body and brain to avoid consultant burn out.

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  47. Jane*

    So last summer I had to take on an “I’m just here for the paycheck” job totally unrelated to the career path I want to stay on and I’ve spent most of this year dealing with burnout–it’s bad enough to be overworked and underpaid, but it’s been so painful to simultaneously watch my industry (entertainment, specifically animation) go up in flames with no sign of when, if ever, I’ll be back in my niche. I started volunteering with a local cat rescue group a few months ago and even though right now my schedule only allows for one shift a week, it’s had such a positive impact on my mental health; I love popping in every weekend knowing I’ll be spending a few hours helping those sweet kitties learn that people aren’t so bad. <3

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    1. hypoglycemic rage*

      I love this! I’ve been considering going to volunteer at my local cat rescue group, or fostering a furry friend…..

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  48. Not Tom, Just Petty*

    The Joy of Cooking beef stroganoff recipe theory of modern living. Why does it need one bay leaf? I don’t know. But that one leaf made all the difference. I hope someday we can all find our bay leaf.

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  49. Richard Hershberger*

    My early baseball history research fills this role for me. It would be work if I were bucking for tenure, but as a hobby it is relaxing.

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  50. Rainy*

    This has given me a lot to think about. I was in a perpetual state of burnout in my last job for so long and even though I love my work, you’re totally right–all I was doing was wearing the same grooves into my brain.

    Since I changed jobs, I’m doing the same work but in a different way and for a different population and that has helped, but I just realized I’ve also been doing a lot of other stuff due to the exigencies of moving, and I think the sense of ease and excitement I feel is probably due to solving problems that aren’t the same problem all the time. Which makes me want to restart more hobbies! So this was really good for me to read, especially right now.

    Thank you so much for that; I think it’s going to be helpful to keep me from dropping right back into the same burnout state, which is something I was worried about.

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  51. Fingus*

    I have had two kitties die from FIP (and another two years later from other complications from FeLV), and it makes my heart hurt to think that just a little bit later they would have been okay (maybe not all of them– but still). I’m so glad you’re doing work that helps.

    And as another Jew who struggled hard after Oct 7 and is deeply anxious about the upcoming anniversary, I really appreciate you calling this out

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    1. Hroethvitnir*

      *hugs* (or preferred gesture) for cats and dealing with the rise in antisemitism.

      I remain astounded (in a good way) that we can treat FIP now! I have had to tell people with young, previously healthy cats there is nothing they can do in the past, so I absolutely understand that heart ache (I have not had a cat with FIP, but we have lost. A lot of animals in the last 5 years. I’ll be raw for a while.)

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  52. Bananapants*

    I’m so happy we’re having this discussion! I live alone and have a hybrid job that requires a LOT of writing and not so much human interaction, so despite having oodles of free time due to my company really prioritizing work-life balance, I started feeling super stressed and depressed a few months ago. Turns out I needed to add things to my life!

    So, I’ve joined a crochet club, started taking roller skating lessons, found a local guitar club to play with, and am planning to get back into dance–all things that use a different part of my brain than I use at work. Being busier is definitely helping me feel happier!

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  53. Mobie's Mom Now*

    I have not read the comments yet, but I want to say that this makes SO much sense to me! However, I seem to be stuck on WHAT to do that’s different, so I’m still kind of anxious, burnt out, and at loose ends. I’m doing an online course in the next week or two that I hope will help with this, but if anyone has suggestions about how to kind of select something to do, I’m open to suggestions – knowing that my passions and interests will be individual to me, so specific suggestions may not help as much for their specificity but in the way that they will help me look at things differently!

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    1. Lisa*

      I did adult coloring books for a while, then moved on to paint-by-numbers. I’ve done knitting and crochet for a while, too. Something that gives me a physical, tangible outcome helps a lot, especially since my work is all digital, and I rarely get to see know if it’s truly impactful or not. Part of the painting goal was also to just let myself fail and not adhere to the perfectionist attitude that makes me anxious so much of the time.

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    2. Hlao-roo*

      It may help to think of some broad categories that jobs and hobbies can fall under. Something like:

      – computer-based/non-computer-based
      – individual activities/group activities
      – sedentary/active

      If your job is data entry (computer-based, individual, sedentary), you might want to look at hobbies that are group activities and active and don’t involve a computer, like a group fitness class.

      If your job is waiting tables at a restaurant (no computers, talk to a lot of people all day long, active), you might want an individual and/or sedentary hobby, like writing a novel.

      Try a few different things because you might find that one of those categories is more important than the others. It could be that sedentary job/active hobby is an important change, but both the job and the hobby being individual pursuits doesn’t bother you.

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    3. Excel Gardener*

      Try things out of your comfort zone. A few years ago I really decided to push my boundaries and try things I had never thought would be for me. The only rule was I had to be a tiny bit curious about. Some things didn’t stick (improv, for example) but more often than not I’ve found I really like the things I tried and come to identify with them. One rule I had for myself is I had to try something three times before giving up on it. The first time or two you do something can be frustrating or awkward after all, but isn’t representative of how you’ll feel about it long term.

      Random list of things: indoor bouldering, board game meetups, drawing/painting, learning a language, learning an instrument, rec sports leagues (pickleball is very beginner friendly!), yoga, volunteering at the animal shelter, cooking, learning an instrument, community theater, improv, and book clubs.

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  54. Lisa*

    I took up paint-by-numbers when work stress was really getting to me. I’m in a profession where lots of people do the same type of work in the evenings, but I’ve never been able to do that. I need time when my brain isn’t doing that type of work. But between work and US politics, I was not in a good head space. Finding something that used a different part of my brain, that kept me focused, and that had a tangible result at the end of each kit — all this really helped me not feel so burned out and depressed. I need to figure out how to settle my new dog in the evenings so I can get back to it. :)

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  55. AnotherSarah*

    YES YES YES. I’ve felt burned out as well, for some of the same reasons, I think, and recently my husband and I decided to take on a somewhat major holiday-related project. It’s more work for us, and we hadn’t done it before because we have little kids. But this year we felt compelled to do it and it’s SO MUCH work but SO FUN and I feel tired after doing it, but not burned out. For me, tired is ok (and can be solved somewhat easily), and is very different from burnout. The Lazy Genius has an episode about different types of rest, which also might be useful for folks here thinking about rest and rejuvenation.

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  56. Orv*

    I work in IT, and fix cars as a hobby. I’ve often told people that the reason is car repairs are physical, have tangible results, and tend to provide immediate gratification, all things I don’t get in my day job.

    Reply ↓
    1. Sloanicota*

      There’s definitely something about getting a short-term win or something immediately achievable that matters to me, compared to my job where you keep shoveling away but never quite get there (it’s just that kind of field). The ability to FINISH and BE DONE with something is important to me in a hobby.

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  57. Nusuth*

    Funnily enough, this is the exact method for curing the burnout mood in the Sims 4. Our sims (and us, lol) get this annoying, long lasting moodlet if they work too hard for too long, and the only way to get it to go away faster is to do activities not related at all to how they got burnt out. If they’re in the painter career, you play chess; if they’re scientists, you go on a run; etc. It’s funny that these things are so clear through a screen.

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  58. Zanshin*

    My experience is similar.
    My part time day job as an RN allowed me to meet my basic needs and also be a part time fine art painter.
    It worked because they were so different. I think the critical distinction was other directed vs self directed.
    A friend my age became a commercial artist, working full time – initially in the pre-CAD era, carefully painting textile designs in gouache. She only ever drew or painted at home during her vacations. It was Just Too Much.

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  59. Bloopbot*

    This reminds me of when I took a few non-credit pottery classes in grad school… the majority of the students were burned out STEM grad students like me who wanted to try something creative and work with their hands. It was such a radically different activity from sitting at a computer or working in a lab (at least for the kind of lab work I did) that it was really refreshing.

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  60. Sociology Rocks!*

    This is surprising, and yet makes total sense to me. Juggling many different kinds of things is often when I feel at my best, even if it’s busy and stressful. One of my favorite books is Someone to Talk to, by Mario Small. He’s a sociologist, and was interested in the conventional wisdom that we turn to people closest to us when dealing with big decisions or stressful situations that need a confidant. He felt this didn’t reflect his lived experiences, and in his research, found that we tend to turn to acquaintances or even strangers. Those individuals may pop up with useful contextual knowledge of the type of situation one is in, while also lacking an investment in a particular outcome. Those closer to us, may respond in ways that do not provide the support we are looking for, be too emotionally risky to be vulnerable with, or just care too much about us to be a useful sounding board.

    This burnout solution feels a lot like that. Something that seems to clash with conventional wisdom, but when actually considered, makes a lot of sense. Of course doing something vastly different from your current normal would be refreshing, it’s engaging and challenging in a way that isn’t driven by stress and deadlines, but rather by learning and problem solving.

    Personally, I’m trying to fix a sewing machine and learn to use it, and I think the reason I have been keeping it top of mind and am continually excited by it is because it’s so different to any other hobbies or work I do, and it’s a visual craft, which have never been my natural strong suit. It’s a whole different kind of skill to build and I’m excited to open up to a new thing

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  61. Elsa*

    I identified with this post so much, both because I took on a side gig this year to deal with some burnout at work, and because part of the motivation for the side gig was to do some good in the world post Oct 7.

    Sending love from Israel!

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  62. Working mom*

    This is weirdly why I find parenting helpful for my mental health and life balance.

    Don’t get me wrong, having a toddler + working full time is A Lot, but I love my job and it’s engaging, and I love my kid and playing with her. They both use completely different parts of my brain, so even though it’s a ton, I haven’t really felt burned out since I got the postpartum depression under control.

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    1. busybee*

      I was just talking to coworkers about this. In some ways I so envy the freedom of my childless/free coworkers, but in other ways – I get to pivot to something I find valuable (if hard) at the end of the day, whereas often times they will go socialize with others from the same field. Parenting helps enforce boundaries, for sure!

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  63. busybee*

    I was just coming here to do some research on burnout for my team and was thinking about proposing a volunteer day (during work hours!) at a food bank or something. I was thinking it would feel so good to *actually accomplish something* versus a lot of the theoretical work we do all day long. But I figure people would revolt at the idea of doing more. But I think you’re on to something!

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  64. Still Burnt*

    I did this. And it worked for me, after a decade of feeling burned out. I added a whole new, completely different but fulfilling obligation to my life. And it hyper-charged me. I was firing on all cylinders.

    And then a few years into that, I hit a wall. Hard.

    Five years later, I still haven’t recovered.

    Be careful with this advice.

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    1. Jules the First*

      I wonder if you missed out on the downtime part? You still need to take time off, properly, from both activities.

      My father, who works an incredibly stressful day job, taught me that one should have two hobbies outside of work: something opposite to what you do all day, and something you are not good at but enjoy. The opposite hobby (in his case, woodworking) helps keep you fulfilled and balanced by working the opposite muscles and brainpower as your day job. The hobby you are lousy at (in his case alpine skiing in the winters and dinghy sailing in the summers) keeps you exploring and learning and fresh. My day job is desk-based but fast-paced, high pressure, and intense. My opposite hobby is horses, which allows me to be fully present and physical at a slower pace than my job. Over the years I’ve done all sorts of things I’m not good at, from knitting and sewing to painting and DIY. My next project is to learn to ride a bike…

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  65. slowingaging*

    During pandemic and caring for my Mom, I took up stress baking…. which I then shared with friends and co-workers. It nicely replaced stress eating

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  66. A Person*

    I’m curious how other people have handled burn out that’s related to having a frustrating or tiring job. As I’ve grown in responsibility I’m in a lot more cross functional conversations, chats, meetings, etcetera which can be pretty exhausting, especially in the current climate at my office. I’m finding this is coming out of my personal socialization “budget” which really sucks. To top it off I’m spending a lot of time helping my mom since she’s on the older side (2nd set of ears at dr. appointments, shopping, etc) which is ALSO tiring socialization.

    In the time I have left in my weekend I feel like all I have the brain to do is mindlessly play video games (which I do enjoy) – but I keep forcing myself to see my friends because keeping up these connections is so important. I feel happier keeping those commitments but I’m just mentally exhausted. I’m not even working crazy hours or anything like that! I just want to go hide in a cave and not talk to people for a month.

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    1. The Nanny*

      It may not be feasible but in my past career in preschools I hit a socialization wall with an added bonus of touched out to the max, and what centered me every day was a ritual I still do called Coffee Time.

      I wake up half an hour before I need to do anything at all, sit in a cozy spot by a window, and relax with my first cup of coffee. I don’t let myself do anything else, even if it needs doing. Dishes can wait, workout can wait.

      No one talks to me (as much as I love my partner he is a font of News Updates and Funny Videos from the moment he opens his eyes).

      Sometimes I read, sometimes I play my little farm game, sometimes I paint. Sometimes I scroll. But it’s a little chunk of time just for me. If I don’t get it I am crabby as all get out.

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      1. A Person*

        I really love this! I’m not a morning person but I could see trying to work something into my after work routine like this.

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  67. Person from the Resume*

    This is interesting. I am a project manager so a planner/organizer.

    I also run a book club which I do enjoy (participating in book club and meeting new people), but I do not enjoy the meeting scheduling, creating the event invitations (on two apps) and often fall behind on that side of it.

    * I do love selecting books. I love doing that for myself and my own personal reading list too.

    Similarly I enjoy getting together with friends so I organize gatherings. Don’t love organizing or cleaning up my house for visitors (if it’s at my house), but on the other hand if I didn’t schedule it and put it on my calendar it wouldn’t happen. Since I am planner, though, and have varied interests I often have to say say no to others’ las minute invites because I am committed to something else or just already mentally made the plan to sit around home today and last minute changes throw me off.

    I do think, though, I will keep in mind when previously enjoyed activities become a chore that it’s time to reassess if it is time for a break from my “fun” hobby.

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  68. Distracted Librarian*

    I can really relate to this. When I’m super burned out and exhausted and choose to do nothing but lounge around, I end up feeling more tired. When I make myself do something I enjoy that’s completely different from work (hiking, gardening, writing fiction), I feel energized.

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  69. I edit everything*

    If you have work where you never seem to finish anything, adding something with a clear, delightful product can be useful. Baking, for example. I started baking my family’s sandwich bread when I was job hunting a few years back. It helped me feel like I was accomplishing something (because job hunting is just the pouring of effort into the void, until it isn’t), and it saved us money, because baking 4 loaves of bread cost about the same amount of money as buying one.

    Now that I’m working full time, I’ve taken up crochet. It still requires attention, but as Alison says, it’s a different brain groove, and I end up with pretty, useful, or pretty useful things. Mostly coasters and dishcloths at this point, because they’re easy. And it keeps me from doom scrolling all evening, which is a different kind of mental break.

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  70. It's Marie - Not Maria*

    As a fellow Jew, I was also in a very dark place after October 7th, which sadly happens to be my Birthday. Between that and a “dream” job quickly turning to ashes, I was not in a good place. I had to go back to my toxic old job, and quickly was back in the same toxic, overworked, underappreciated place I was a year ago. I have tried to focus on my hobby of Historical Reenacting, which has almost nothing to do with my career in HR. I am still overworked, underappreciated and burned out, but at least I have something else to think about.

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    1. Hroethvitnir*

      Oof. I’m sorry to hear that.

      You’re doing amazingly taking care of yourself when things feel so dark. I know those kind of affirmations can read patronising, but as someone who really, really struggles with being productive (which helps so much!) due to mental health, I genuinely deeply admire anyone making their way through that slog.

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  71. anotherfan*

    While I get just sitting and relaxing around a pool with a fancy drink with an umbrella, I don’t actually find that — relaxing. So long vacations have never been anything that de-stresses me. I was always much happier coming home than being ‘away,’ job stress notwithstanding.

    What I did was adjacent work — I’m a writer, so I wandered into other “arts” territory to wind down; these days I’m a gigging musician (trust me, there are tens of dollars to be made this way!); but I’ve taken painting courses, once upon a time did some contradancing, picked up fiber arts. I don’t think you need to completely jump to an opposite skill (say math or science) to disconnect, you just have to care enough about the side job to let it overwrite out the day-t0-day busyness with something that also engages your mind.

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    1. Excel Gardener*

      I’ve found one key aspect of rejuvenating pursuits is that I’m doing them mostly/entirely for myself, not to make money or impress other people. Often what makes work stressful is not the work per se but the stakes (your income, your reputation, whether you annoy or inconvenience coworkers or clients, etc.).

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  73. Excel Gardener*

    I’ve found this to be true as well. In the past year I’ve taken up multiple hobbies that I had never thought would be for me (volleyball, weight lifting, drawing and painting, yoga) and I’ve felt less burnt out even though I’m currently in the busy season of work. I’ve also set aside more time for hobbies I already had but had neglected, like video games and reading sci-fi/fantasy.

    The worst thing for my mental health is a lazy day off where I do nothing except putter around the house, surf the internet, and watch YouTube, even when I feel like it would be nice. Even if I feel tired and unmotivated, pushing myself to do something more active (mentally, physically, and/or socially) makes me feel better 90% of the time. Yes, occasionally (once every couple of months when I’m extremely exhausted) a truly lazy day is nice, but I need them far less often than my gut instinct says I do.

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    1. Person from the Resume*

      I agree with your last paragraph to an extent.

      If I plan a day for relaxing I mean it be something which I still consider worthwhile relaxing like reading or watching something specific on tv (be it football games or tv series or movie), I feel good about it.

      If I mean to accomplish a few thing or a lot of things, but I am burned out so I start but never really finish any chores, and mindlessly scroll on the phone and randomly watch things on TV I don’t really care about, I don’t feel better. No only did I not make progress on my To Do list, those activities don’t leave me relaxed and fulfilled. <– That's really a wasted day because I didn't get anything done, and also generally feel mentally worse at the end of it. A wasted day like that is not relaxing.

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  74. Yes And*

    This is great advice and a great column, but I’m struggling with my version of it.

    For many years, I was trying to make my job by DayJob while I worked toward being a writer. A couple of years ago, I faced the truth that my DayJob was actually an upwardly mobile career that I loved and paid decently well, while my writing was a hobby and I would enjoy it more if I treated it that way. And for the most part, it’s worked out and I’m much happier.

    The problem is the writing comes in spurts, far more than it used to when it was my primary avocation. When I get over the hump with a project, it just speeds to a conclusion, and those are the best days/weeks of my life. But getting up to that hump is so… grindingly… slow… and getting more so with each iteration.

    The real problem is making time, mental space, literal physical space, and emotional energy to get into the world of a project and push through the piece of it I’m working on today. How do people deal with that?

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    1. Excel Gardener*

      Having a variety of hobbies helps. I’ve gotten really into drawing and painting recently, and one thing that has helped me keep at it somewhat consistently is being ok with doing easier or lower effort versions of it. Sometimes I just sketch an object in my apartment for 15-20 minutes or do some quick drawing exercises. The bigger projects are fun but like you with writing I don’t always have it in me to pursue them.

      I’m not sure what the writing equivalent of this would be. Writing flash fiction? Maybe writing a brief description or dialogue exchange between characters even if you’re not sure it will make it into the full project?

      The other thing is a variety of hobbies helps. I think I’d burn out on drawing if that was my only hobby. Some days I play video games, other days I meet up with friends for volleyball. Doing something every day doesn’t mean I have to do the same thing every day, and I find I enjoy every hobby more when I don’t do them every day.

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  75. DCer*

    I have a very demanding job that consumes so much of time — plus a family. Several years ago, I took a painting class, thinking that setting up some hard boundaries would be good for my mental health, the need to leave work by a definitive time. And the class was wonderful. But then I thought, if I can get out of the office in time to make this painting class, why can’t I get out of the office in time to go back to school and get a master’s degree, in a subject matter that isn’t directly tied to my job. So I enrolled. And it was also wonderful. During that time I got pregnant and had my first kid. But even with all that, I felt way less burned out during the time I was in school.

    And this just made me realize — it was the different parts of my brain I was using. It was more of my time. But it was time spent stretching other cortex.

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  76. Atalanta*

    In my last interview, they asked how I dealt with things like stress and burnout, which is a huge issue in cybersecurity. I talked about how I would take my dog Rose for a walk if I hit a dead end on an issue and that would often help get over whatever block I had had. I joked that Rose had helped resolve a number of issues at my former company but she’s under an NDA and can’t give specifics.

    My job is notorious for burn out and it can eat your life so I often tell people just starting out to find a hobby they can enjoy that’s completely separate from security. For me, I’m involved in theatre and music and when I’m not doing that, it’s cars and racing. Makes for interesting “what did you do this weekend” conversation on Monday morning.

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  77. Hroethvitnir*

    Thank you for all you do! Having one accessible, reasonable person online is pretty great sort of regardless of topic in the age of breathless misinformation.

    I also want to send sympathy and love to you and any other Jewish people reading. It’s been anxiety inducing to observe as someone who is not impacted at all.

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  78. Kat*

    Thank you for sharing – I’m happy that you found a way to feel better and handle burnout while doing even more good in the world.

    Some things have just become even harder since October 7 2023.

    Hugs from Israel.

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  79. Rapunzel Rider*

    This very thing. I love reading and sewing but stopped doing it because I was too busy with work. Mindset being, as an exempt employee, if I had time for hobbies than I had time to catch up on work that was piling up. I was getting burned out to the point I would ugly cry in my office closet at least once a week. Then, I picked up sewing again in the evenings and noticed, I was less stressed and had a better head space in general. Then, I felt like I had enough mental capacity to pick up a book and then another…
    Guys, I have never felt better in my entire career! I also feel like having the better mental space made me more productive during working hours and be able to process/accept that it was ok if not everything got done and that if I killed myself fixing it, my employer would never see there was a problem so of course we would never get any help.

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    1. Abogado Avocado*

      This x 100!

      I picked up sewing again some 30 years after learning to sew from my very talented mother. I was never that good at sewing and kind of gave up as a young woman after learning to sew straight seams. But when I picked it up again during the pandemic, it suddenly was fun. I set goals, like learning to master zippers and set-in sleeves (those of you who sew know what I’m talking about) and, after this, work became just so much less stressful, probably because I have something else to think about when my mind wanders in the office.

      (And, Rapunzel Rider, I highly recommend audiobooks while sewing, if you’re not already doing that. It is so pleasureable, I may never leave my sewing room ever again.)

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  80. Respectfully, Pumat Sol*

    Yes, yes, yes. Sometimes the “cure” for burnout is to find a new fuel source to feed your spark. Your spark is there. You need new fuel to feed it. Rest and relaxation are oxygen, not fuel. Both are needed.

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  81. Full time reader, part time commenter*

    Volunteer work can be so rewarding! I have been a docent at a local museum. With COVID, I needed a change, then last year, I started transporting dogs for a local rescue. Super easy, I love to drive, it’s an easy route with some local variation AND I get to help dogs in a city close by with an impacted shelter. Giving dogs rides to their spay/neuter appointments or, even better, their freedom rides has been so good for me,

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  82. Canadian Cat Lady*

    I am so grateful that vets are able to access FIP medications in Canada. Life-saving things shouldn’t be restricted by borders!
    On the doing-something-different front – I regularly see tired, frazzled people arrive from work for choir practice, and watch them leave, buzzing with enthusiasm. The music, and the camaraderie, and the creation of something so much bigger than the individual – it all has a magic effect. Any of the arts – but I find singing in particular is magic!

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  83. Definitely not me*

    Excellent advice! I just experienced something similar. In summer, I attended an industry-related conference in a big city I’d never visited. Usually, those conferences energize me and I come home filled with new ideas to make my job and work product better. It didn’t work; I came home overwhelmed and ready to retire. More recently, I used 10 days of my precious vacation time for my first trip to a European country for a non-relaxing (highly scheduled! expensive! challenging! anxiety-provoking!) activity. NOW I feel energized, even though I returned to a lot of backed-up work at the end of that trip.

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  85. Fig Season*

    Every time I set aside time to draw, I feel my brain (and burnout) healing. It’s not just you, Alison.

    The trouble is finding time to give myself permission to draw, when I’m so exhausted and burned out and behind on everything.

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  86. Pay no attention...*

    Creative burnout was SO DIFFICULT for me to overcome because my job is creative and most of my hobbies were creative but in different ways. I found I had to completely switch to something that didn’t depend on creative thought at all — which felt like a failure at first — because it wasn’t enough difference to help with burnout. Graphic Designer by day, and variously painter (fine art, not walls), jewelry designer, and bag designer (sewing) by night. I was still burned out and starting to dread my hobbies. I escape now into gardening — it’s physical, outside and requires more science brain than creative brain.

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  87. Hyaline*

    To all of the perfectionist/uber-productive/overachiever/former gifted kids/etc in here–please remind yourselves that in order to apply this advice, you still have to have enough time for SOME downtime rest, and you will still burn out if each day is so packed that you can’t breathe. Even if each part of the packed day works a different part of your brain. Alison shares that she was *already* taking time for rest; if you’re not resting at all, working more may not solve the problem even if it’s engaging and reinvigorating to shift gears. Reclaim time from time sucks, set boundaries with work or other obligations, and otherwise carve out time for meaningful “shifting brain engagement” work–but I can confidently say that simply adding it to an already overcommitted life will not solve the problem. Signed, a fellow overachiever who has learned the hard way that time is, in fact, finite.

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  88. ecnaseener*

    The best metaphor I’ve heard for this is crop rotation. Planting the same thing in the same field every year will deplete its nutrients, and sometimes to let the field recover you need to let it lie fallow, but often it’s even more effective to plant something different to actively replace the nutrients. (Specific things, granted — the metaphor isn’t perfect, but you get it.)

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  89. Aeryn Sun*

    For me I really think doing something creative or that involves making something with your hands is the big thing that makes me feel better. My personal thing is hand embroidery lately.

    So many jobs are so divorced from any kind of tangible result that I think finding a way to think, move your hands for a bit and then see hey, I made something is really great.

    I think self-expression in addition to exploring your identity outside of work is really important. I really enjoy working where I do and I’m finally in a happy workplace but it’s not all I am, and exploring my artistic side, my nerdy side, my live music / theater loving side make me feel way more fulfilled than just working, even if I have the free time.

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  90. Not a Girl Boss*

    I just listened to a great (and short) podcast about this: The Novelty Rule (The Liz Moody Podcast).

    I won’t try to badly re-explain everything the podcast expertly covers in 15 minutes. But basically, experiencing and learning new things builds neuroplasticity. Its like exercise for the brain and can, among other things, help prevent dementia. But also, your brain doesn’t re-record old episodes of the same show. It only records when we are experiencing something novel. So the more novel things we can do, the longer, more complex, and more fulfilling our life feels… in part because we actually remember it.

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  91. Corporation Refugee*

    Being an IT geek I use whatever part of brain that requires all the time.

    My wife is into fabric arts which i a whole different thing. She suggested I look into handweaving.

    Wow! Just Wow!

    I have a small hand loom and I use it to make very simple things like bookmarks and small tapestries.

    It is simply remarkable what a difference THAT has made to me.

    —————

    Alison … thank you so much for having such a wonderful and interesting blog.
    (and great commenters too!)

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  92. Employee of the Bearimy*

    This is great advice and there are tons of great examples here. My only addition is to put some thought into making sure you’re not accidentally taxing some functionality twice with your “new” work. I did this to myself last year – I work at a social services nonprofit in upper management. I also act in community theater shows. Last year, facing some burnout/boredom at work, I took on an extra show, thinking it would give me more brain space. What I didn’t take into account was that I’m very introverted, and although I went from doing something hard and technical to something fun and creative, in both instances I had to spend a lot of time interacting with people, and I didn’t realize how draining that would be until I started having sensory processing issues due to the lack of alone time. It ended up making my burnout worse, which was obviously not the intent.

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  93. On Fire*

    This is such good advice. For me personally, the best way is physical labor. I sit at a desk staring at a computer screen all week. On weekends I rake, dig, haul brush and generally get dirty. It uses different muscles, both physical and mental. Planning a yard rehab or designing a flower bed is completely different from writing a paper, and the exhaustion I feel at the end of the day is a delicious kind of refreshing.

    I realize that’s an incredible amount of privilege (a yard to work in and a body that lets me do it) and that not everyone can do that. I hope each person can find what works for you!

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  95. disconnect*

    For a long while, I’ve had “learn more math” on my future list. I’m going to move this up in priority. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it but I’ll find out.

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  96. Cedrus Libani*

    I’ve also found that I don’t do well with all my psychological eggs in one basket. I used to be in a “passion” field, let’s call it dog grooming; this was my whole life, my childhood dream, the only thing I had going for me. It was great. Except even the most obsessed grooming nerd is going to have days where the poodles don’t come out perfect. Which meant, of course, that my whole life was worthless and I had nothing at all going for me.

    Zoloft only put a band-aid on it. I needed SOMETHING else, or…else. So I revived an old sporty hobby, learned a new thinky hobby, and met my now-husband in the process.

    Yeah, I no longer have the “commitment” to work the elite dog show circuit. Don’t want to go back, but also realistically couldn’t go back, even if I wanted to. I’m a llama groomer now; most of our llamas are working animals who get the basic utilitarian trim. Even my best work isn’t as good as it used to be, both because I don’t use the fancy techniques often enough and also because I’m no longer hyper-aware of the latest trends and dreaming of how I can incorporate them into my work. On the plus side, I didn’t have a nervous breakdown and quit the field entirely. I’m still using my training and getting paid for it. And I’m happy.

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  97. Callie*

    I read a quote at one point which was something like: fatigue does not come from doing too much, it comes from not doing enough of the things you love.
    Where in this context, “things you love” means things you do because you enjoy them, not because you do them to earn a living.
    Even fun things feel like work when you feel the weight of your to-do list and feel obligated to make progress.

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  98. Justin*

    This works for me! With ADHD doing Nothing stresses me out. But using my brain on things I love (and bring in a little money) has really helped. I write books and sometimes adjunct and overall the parts of my brain my work doesn’t reach are scratched.

    I tell my academic friends that using academia as a side gig is the way! But no one listens, lol

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  99. Burned Out in Sales*

    as someone who is one snarky email away from quitting with no safety net, I really appreciate this. I’ve been starting a business on the side, and it’s been helpful but to be honest I wind up focusing more of my attention on that than my real job and it’s going to come back and bite me if I can’t get my burnout procrastination under control.

    I don’t know if it’s my place to mention it or not, but this goyim has been absolutely disgusted by what your community has been put through since 10/7. Never again means just that, Never Again. Non negotiable.
    With love and support.
    – burned out in sales

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  100. Former Gremlin Herder*

    I had a coach in high school tell a group of us that we were all happier when we were busy. I think we all groaned and complained about our homework load or the volleyball schedule, but I think he hit on something similar-while doing nothing or relaxing is an important type of rest, it’s equally important to give yourself enrichment that isn’t just vegging out. I have to remind myself of this when I want to cancel plans-I know that I, more often than not will benefit from socializing, and while sometimes I do need to rest and regroup, it’s almost always better to use the different part of my brain that is stimulated by interacting with friends. (I also know that this isn’t true for everyone, just my extroverted experience!)

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  102. Morning Reader*

    OMG, I started reading this and worried that it was going to be an announcement that you were retiring the blog. Thank you for finding your way to combating burnout! Long may you write. Thanks to the cats too.

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  103. TriRN*

    This makes so much sense. I’m MUCH busier than I just a few months ago, but the combination of tasks is much different, and I feel energized & organized, not exhausted and tapped-out.

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  104. Fern*

    A lot of the research on burnout talks about not finding meaning in your work whether that’s a lack of recognition, feeling like you can’t be effective, or a mismatch with your values.

    It makes complete sense that your volunteer work not only helps because it is different from your day job, but also that it helps because it sounds like it aligns with values that may not be as strongly addressed by your day job. It also sounds like the type of thing with a relatively short feedback loop or whether you did it right or not, so it can be clear that it is effective. And volunteer work helps others, so tends to bring meaning to things naturally.

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  105. Nonprofit writer*

    Oh wow, I love this and I love all the comments!

    I am a writer, mostly doing grant proposals/reports and other donor communications for nonprofits. I also write fiction, but I’m struggling with perfectionism on that. Overall, I spend a lot of time writing and in my head.

    Along with exercise, what has helped me is doing social justice work at my UU congregation. I took on the role of coordinating some projects for the kids to do that would support the work of our various volunteer teams. This kind of stuff was already taking place but I have made it a bit more formal & regularly scheduled. Rather than just talking to the kids about doing good works or having them draw pictures about it, we are having them do some of the actual work. They make to-go meal bags for an org that feeds the homeless, wrap gifts for kids at the homeless shelter, etc.

    After years of talking with nonprofit program staff and then writing *about* the work they are doing, I suddenly found myself thinking a lot this summer about “my program” and the tweaks I wanted to make to it this fall and I realized oh wow, I’m getting a chance to be on the other side *doing* the work and I love it! Also, it’s really satisfying to see how the kids get so into the projects (after some initial moments of chaos and with a fair amount of mustard flying as the older ones make the sandwiches) and all of us together achieve a flow state that is really magical.

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  106. Thanks*

    Thank you for making visible the way that we Jews have been feeling over the last year. Sometimes it feels like our pain is invisible to the rest of this country.

    Wishing you and all of Am Yisrael a shana tova!

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