weekend open thread – February 8-9, 2025

by Alison Green on February 7, 2025

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand.

Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

Book recommendation of the week: Perfume and Pain, by Anna Dorn. A cancelled writer searches for inspiration and develops a surprising relationship with her new neighbor. Funny and smart. (Amazon, Bookshop)

* I earn a commission if you use those links.

You may also like:
{ 134 comments }

{ 134 comments… read them below or add one }

  1. Ask a Manager* Post author

    The weekend posts are for relatively light discussion — think office break room — and comments should ask questions and/or seek to discuss ideas. “Here’s what happened to me today” personal-blog-style posts will be removed (because they got out of control in the past). We also can’t do medical advice here.

    These threads are no politics.

    Please give the full rules a re-read.

    Reply ↓
    1. Karriegrace*

      I’m reading the fourth of the Thursday Murder Club books by Richard Osman. They have sll been really fun.

      Reply ↓
    3. Falling Diphthong*

      Full Speed to a Crash Landing and its sequel How to Steal a Galaxy, by Beth Revis. Heists in space! Follows an operative (think Rick Blaine from Casablanca; expects to be paid but often works for the little guys) retrieving a package from a space ship crashed onto a heavily volcanic planet, and then stealing something from an art museum during a black tie gala. Lots of fun.

      Reply ↓
    4. Atheist Nun*

      I just finished, and recommend, The Stolen Queen by Fiona Davis. It was a light book with some cutesy coincidences and resolutions, but it also held my interest through a mature woman protagonist and careful discussions about the repatriation of objects of cultural heritage. I also enjoyed reading about places I have loved visiting, like the Valley of the Kings, Luxor Temple, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

      Reply ↓
    5. Mobie's Mom*

      Just started The Anteater of Death, by Betty Webb! Picked it up at the library based solely on the name – looks like a fun little murder mystery!

      Reply ↓
      1. GoryDetails*

        I’ve enjoyed Webb’s “Gunn Zoo” series, and Anteater of Death is perhaps my favorite. All the books in the series are titled [animal] of death, and feature koalas, puffins, and yes, even a llama {grin}. I tend to prefer the parts about the zoo and the animals over the interpersonal relationships and the mysteries, but they are quite fun overall.

        Reply ↓
    6. Loredena*

      I just finished a litrpg series Dungeon Crawler Carl! It was surprisingly entertaining, I read all 7 in short order and am looking forward to the next. It’s on KU

      Reply ↓
    7. fallingleavesofnovember*

      I just finished a book of essays by Zadie Smith titled ‘Feel Free’. I liked some better than others: sometimes it went deep into art, movies, or music I am not familiar with, but sometimes it also made me look them up and find something new to appreciate! About to start Sally Rooney’s Intermezzo…I had read Conversations with Friends (and loved it) before the Normal People buzz, and I didn’t dislike her third book the way many seemed to – but it did feel she was retreading some similar ground. Reviews of the latest seemed to say she tackled some new types of relationships, so I am curious to see how I find it!

      Reply ↓
      1. goddessoftransitory*

        I like Zadie Smith’s essays–I remember one she wrote about being in Italy with her dad and enjoying this particular park because a lot of expat Brits hung out there, and thus “You can drink British amounts of alcohol without anyone looking at you pityingly.”

        Reply ↓
    8. goddessoftransitory*

      I’m still working through my giant pile; not helped by inadvertently ordering Mona Acts Out when I was trying to stick it on my wish list so I wouldn’t forget it. It sounds good, though!

      *burrows back into mountain on bedside table*

      Reply ↓
    9. Fun Novel Lover*

      Just finished “Someone Else’s Shoes” by Jojo Moyes. Fun read and very satisfying ending. Highly recommended!

      Reply ↓
    10. Bluebell Brenham*

      Finished Paula Hawkins’ The Blue Hour. Interesting set up – famous woman artist and friend on an island, got his mystery vibes- but it wasn’t nearly as good as her debut, Girl on the Train. Now I’m finishing up Mrs Porter Calling, the third book in AJ Pearce’s Dear Mrs Bird series. It’s still charming.

      Reply ↓
    11. Commander Shepard's Favorite Store*

      I absolutely inhaled the entire Dungeon Crawler Carl series in the last, like, two weeks after seeing it recommended over and over and every time thinking “But it sounds so dumb, I really don’t get litRPG”. Let me tell you friends, I could not have been more wrong. It is SO GOOD. I am obsessed. It made me cry multiple times–at work, nonetheless–and books almost never do that to me. I listened to the audiobooks and the narrator is hands down the best I have ever heard, he’s incredible. The latest book is coming out on audio on Tuesday and I am dyyying from the wait.

      Reply ↓
    12. My Brain is Exploding*

      I finished “Just Mercy” by Brian Stevenson. It’s a deep dive into serious problems within the criminal justice system and what the Equal Justice Initiative is doing to effect systemic change and provide aid to incarcerated individuals. It isn’t for the faint of heart; there are gut-wrenching stories that brought me to tears and successes that gave me hope. (I know many of the commenters here are more aware about these issues than I was before reading this book.)

      Reply ↓
    13. Heffalump*

      Just finished The Yugo: The Rise and Fall of the Worst Car in History by Jason Vuic, and enjoyed it. Interesting from the business angle or the gearhead angle.

      Reply ↓
    14. AG*

      Just finished ‘Same as it Ever Was’ by Claire Lombardo. Loved it! I ordered her other book & will begin that when it arrives.

      Reply ↓
    15. GoryDetails*

      The Lost Man by Jane Harper, in which one of three brothers – experienced at travel in the hot, parched, and vast Australian Outback – is found at the iconic Stockman’s Grave, apparently having died of thirst and heat. But why would he have left his fully-stocked vehicle to travel to that spot? Very much immersed into the setting so far.

      Reply ↓
    16. RedinSC*

      Free from Audible I’m listening to The Beechwood Harbor Ghost Mysteries boxed set.

      They’re fun, not great, but entertaining.

      Reply ↓
    17. PollyQ*

      Even The Darkest Night by Javier Cercas. The setup is pretty straightforward: a small-town Spanish detective works to solve a gruesome double-homicide, but the execution is what sets it apart. It’s as much a novel about the detective’s life as it is a procedural. I read a lot, and most of what I read doesn’t make that much of an impression, but this has stuck with me. Highly recommended! (Note that I read the English translation; it was originally written in Spanish.)

      The Examiner by Janice Hallett. This is another mystery that unspools through found documents, similar to other works by the same author. I certainly enjoyed it as I was reading, but as with her other books, I found the resolution unsatisfying.

      Reply ↓
      1. Six Feldspar*

        That sounds similar to the Inspector Montalbano series by Andrea Camilleri (Italian series translated into English). I’ll have to check out Javier Cercas

        Reply ↓
    18. Lizard*

      I finished The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith, which I wanted to like more than I actually did. I’m not a huge romance person in general, so that might have been part of the problem, but I couldn’t tell why either person liked the other, and that made it hard for me to get invested. I also didn’t like the main character enough to be inside her head for a whole book. But I appreciate why it would have been such a big deal when it was published, and I think it’s worth a read – I just didn’t love it.

      Other than that I’m continuing Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray, and I’ve started Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, which I’m really enjoying!

      Reply ↓
    20. Dwight Schrute*

      Lord of the rings and fourth wing! Lord of the rings has been a slog but I finished it today! I’m enjoying fourth wing for the action

      Reply ↓
    21. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      Started Bruno, Chief of Police thanks to someone’s recommendation here. I’m enjoying the view of French village life it gives whether it’s particularly accurate or not.

      Next up, all of them thanks to this question every week:
      The Cautious Traveller’s Guide to the Wastelands by Sarah Brooks
      Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone
      Birds of a Feather by Jacqueline Winspear

      Reply ↓
    1. Just Another Cog*

      I finally found a cabinet at our local thrift store for our dining area! It is a very small area and I needed some enclosed storage for extra placemats, napkins, etc. I wanted real wood and found a few for retail sale that were very expensive. Even press wood pieces of garbage were going for $250! I’ll have to clean up the one I found and maybe refinish it, but it was only $25! I’m so excited – I’ve been looking for one I could afford for almost two years!

      Reply ↓
    2. WellRed*

      I was picking up lunch in a local specialty grocer and discovered they carry a new product I can’t find in regular stores and on Amazon you’d have to buy a case. It’s Brianna’s new chipotle lime marinade, fyi.

      Reply ↓
      1. goddessoftransitory*

        Jealous! I have a ton of recipes I want to try but have some odd ingredient you can only get in job lots of fifty or whatever,

        Reply ↓
    3. fallingleavesofnovember*

      Two days at home with my husband following a very useful virtual training, followed up one day by a post-work skate and the other a post-work ski! We’re having such a good winter here after several disappointing ones!

      Reply ↓
    4. old curmudgeon*

      I have to say that the cuddle puddle in the photo on this thread made me pretty darned joyful just now – what an amazing bunch of felines Alison has!

      Reply ↓
      1. RLC*

        Same here! Alison’s trio is modeling “agreeably sharing” what appears to be a heated pad; our cat crew would be modeling “feline territorial behavior” for that pad. I need to show them this as proof that cats can indeed share a comfy spot without slapping of paws and munching of ears.

        Reply ↓
    5. ThatGirl*

      We adopted a new dog last April and he’s been to a new to us groomer 3 times now. He’s very sweet but can be mouthy (young, and we’re working on it) so I was a little worried about how he’d act at the groomer. But when I picked him up today I was told they “just love him!” Made my dog mom heart proud.

      Reply ↓
    6. Karriegrace*

      Buffalo is a SHEET of ice after freezing rain. But I just got crampons! They’re amazing! I walked all over the neighborhood with them. No slipping at all. Its like magic.

      Oh and Josh Allen won MVP.

      Reply ↓
    7. Falling Diphthong*

      I tried a new salon and got a really good haircut–I felt like the stylist both listened to me before the haircut, and checked in midway in a useful way.

      Reply ↓
    8. goddessoftransitory*

      Trying out this new one pot burrito casserole that is all sloppy and cheesy and the definition of comfort food. Can’t wait to dive in after my shift.

      Reply ↓
    9. Knighthope*

      My amaryllis bloomed from two buds! The variety is “Double Dragon,” but it should be called “Triple” because there’s a third bud coming up!

      Reply ↓
    10. WoodswomanWrites*

      I have an old Edwardian building that’s three stories converted into five apartments. My place is small and I deliberately don’t have houseplants. A year and a half ago, my brother and sister-in-law were visiting and bought me a cyclamen plant as a thank you. I put it on a little table on the second-floor landing between my apartment and my neighbor’s and adjacent to a window. To my amazement, it’s been blooming almost continuously in its little pot with no maintenance other than watering and rotating it a couple times a week.

      Reply ↓
    11. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      Another session of improv classes started last week through the local parks and rec and it’s making my Tuesday nights a high point of the week. I’ve been taking these six-week sessions every time they’re offered since my first intro classes last January. It’s a weekly dose of energy, spontaneity, and laughing out loud, sometimes so hard I cry. Much needed joy! And it brings out a silly, goofy part of me that mostly doesn’t come out to play the rest of the time. This particular round we’re all women or non-binary, which gives it a special kind of energy we all love.

      Reply ↓
  4. Cabbagepants*

    Do you have a favorite recipe that you personally created or perfected? I’ve build a recipe for tender chicken-style seitan that even my meat-and-potatoes relatives rave about. Decent seitan is very hard to find where I live so I make this at least once a week.

    1 15oz can white beans, including liquid
    4 T water
    1 T oil
    1 t MSG or salt
    1 small onion, chopped coarse
    2 cloves garlic
    1 T soy sauce
    Bouillon for 1 cup broth (e.g. 1 t “Better than Bouillon)
    2 T nutritional yeast
    375 g (around 3 cups) vital wheat gluten

    Puree all ingredients besides gluten. Put liquid in a large bowl and then mix in gluten. Stir to combine and then knead until very bouncy (3 minutes by kitchenaide or 10 minutes by hand). Wrap in aluminum foil. Put steamer basket and enough water to just reach basket into Instapot, then put in wrapped dough. Pressure cook on high for 45 minutes. When done, release pressure and carefully shred the seitan, still hot, with two forks. Sautee in abundant butter or olive oil.

    Reply ↓
    1. AG*

      Ooh, these sound good!! I’m making seitan wings this weekend (didn’t create the recipe, Rabbits & Wolves did, but have altered it).

      Reply ↓
    2. old curmudgeon*

      I came up with a pork and black bean stew recipe about a year ago, and after a fair bit of tweaking, I think it’s finally where I want it to be. It’s scaled for exactly two servings and goes together in an hour or less, so it’s ideal for my spouse and me. I’m not usually the one in our household who develops recipes, but I’m pretty proud of this one.

      Reply ↓
    3. theinone*

      I usually just follow recipes but I have a lentil soup thing I make that takes care of dinner for a full week (or more if I’m not particularly hungry). And it’s really cheap and doesn’t take a lot of bulky ingredients- great for me, a college student who bikes to the grocery store!

      1 onion
      Jarred garlic (jarlic)
      1 can tomato sauce
      Water
      2 carrots
      1 pound bag of lentils
      Stuff that makes it taste good (bullion powder, garlic powder, worcestershire sauce, italian seasoning, soy sauce, pepper, etc… this is personal preference but what I’ve listed is what I like)
      1 bag spinach
      Lemon pepper
      That parmesan that comes in the green container (shakey cheese)

      Chop and cook the onion until translucent in a big pot, add jarlic and cook until it smells good
      Once it’s browning add the can of tomato sauce and like 4 cans of water
      Chop the carrots into half-moons and add them
      Add the lentils
      Add your stuff that tastes good
      Simmer until lentils are soft (add more water as needed, if you think it needs it)
      Add a whole bag of washed spinach
      Cook until the spinach is small
      Serve with lemon pepper and shakey cheese

      It’s naturally vegetarian (vegan if you use veggie bullion and omit shakey cheese) but you could also add like frozen meatballs or cooked Italian sausage or sweet potatoes or whatever you think tastes good. Takes about an hour to make but most of that time is just the lentils getting soft which just takes some occasional stirring.

      Reply ↓
    5. goddessoftransitory*

      I’ve reworked How To Cook Everything’s spaghetti sauce until it’s pretty much mine–I eliminated the carrots and celery and layer on the spices with a lavish hand. The big trio of ingredients that take it over the top are ginger (minced and lots of powdered as well) bacon, and cream. You cook the bacon first, but set it aside and don’t put it back in the sauce until the last fifteen minutes of simmering (otherwise it turns to leather.)

      Husband adores this and wants me to make it every week.

      Reply ↓
    6. Aphrodite*

      It took about ten years to perfect my gazpacho recipe butI am so proud of it. It is soooo delicious. I wish I could live on it alone during warm weather.

      I also have a salsa recipe that begins with the Salsa Especial at Trader Joe’s, the medium heat. (Alas, they do not sell any hotter version.) I take four or five of those containers, pour them into a large mixing bowl and add fresh minced garlic, garlic powder, salt, the zest and juice of 2-3 limes, a big lunch of chopped cilantro leaves, minced fresh chilis (any kind but I favor serrano, jalapeno, and even habanero), a bit of cumin, and a bit of either za’atar or Urfa Biber. There’s no measuring so it never taste exactly the same. The idea is to make it hot but not too hot where the only “flavor” is heat. You want to taste the various flavors. Be sure to let it meld for several hours or overnight. It will be much thicker than other salsas,

      Reply ↓
  5. Wellie*

    I recently said “to heck with keto,” and I am having my first potato chips in almost a year.

    Anyone else just say, “nah, bro”?

    Reply ↓
      1. Wellie*

        I was not able to completely give up candy! I just cut way, way back. Like, one square of chocolate was my serving. Now I have a couple squares. It is kind of comforting to have a little something yummy.

        Reply ↓
  6. Ginger Cat Lady*

    What’s your best recommendation for the dry, chapped, cracking skin of winter? My hands are killing me and I need a good lotion/salve or something.

    Reply ↓
      1. Wellie*

        Was going to say! I buy the Rich Creme for Very Dry, Compromised Skin. It’s like half petroleum products, and a little goes a long, long way.

        If petroleum products aren’t your thing, I love my Nivea Cocoa Butter lotion.

        Reply ↓
    2. Decidedly Me*

      I recently did Vaseline and gloves overnight for a few nights, which made a huge, quick difference. Now I’m using Vaseline Deep Restore lotion regularly so I don’t have to go drastic again.

      Reply ↓
    3. old curmudgeon*

      I’ve asked several doctors for suggestions, and they all recommended Aquaphor, which is similar to Vaseline but has some additional ingredients. As long as I use it every night before I go to bed, I can avoid skin cracks.

      Reply ↓
      1. ThatGirl*

        Those are good tips for overall dry skin but dry hands often come from a lot of washing in hot water, soap, rough towels etc. which the weather makes worse.

        Reply ↓
    7. osmoglossum*

      Porter’s Lotion — it’s a liquid, non-greasy lotion that actually heals the skin. It’s amazing stuff.

      Reply ↓
      1. Just a name*

        Second O’Keefe’s Working Hands. Not just for hands. Not greasy. Almost a protective barrier. I do use Burt’s Bee’s cuticle ointment as well.

        Reply ↓
  8. Skytext*

    Has anybody seen Ben Askins videos on Facebook? At first I liked them, but now I realize he is just stealing AAM letters! First there was the one about the boss who fired any employee who wouldn’t agree to be tested as a liver donor for his brother, then today there was the one about the boss who made an employee leave a letter on the grave of a relative of an employee who was out on bereavement leave.

    Reply ↓
    1. Ask a Manager* Post author

      I can report those for copyright violations and have them taken down — are you able to link me directly to them? (I looked at his page and couldn’t easily find them.)

      Reply ↓
      2. Skytext*

        I’m sorry, I can’t figure out how to do that. But I went to his page and one letter is the most recent post and the other is a few posts down. They are captioned “Worst Boss “2” and “ Worst Boss #3”.

        Reply ↓
  9. Robin's sister*

    I belong to a senior center that, among other things, takes us on bus trips to shopping malls or Walmart on Wednesdays (but not every Wednesday). I was pleased to see that in January, we were going to the Henderson Mall on the 15th, the Dawson Mall on the 22nd, and the Sturgis Mall on the 29th. I really wanted to go to the Sturgis Mall, because I had a number of watches that needed new batteries, and I really like the people who work at a store there. I signed up to go to the Henderson Mall and the Sturgis Mall.

    On January 15, when I got out of the bus, I was surprised to see that we were at the Sturgis Mall, not the Henderson Mall. I asked the driver, “Weren’t we supposed to go to the Henderson Mall today?” She insisted that we were supposed to go to the Sturgis Mall. I didn’t want to start a fight, so I said, “Okay. I guess I was wrong.” So I was at the Sturgis Mall without my watches. And I was afraid that on January 29, we would go to the Henderson Mall instead of the Sturgis Mall, and I didn’t know when I’d get back to the Sturgis Mall with my watches.

    On the way home, the driver admitted that she had taken us to the wrong mall, and she said, “We’ll go to the Henderson Mall next Wednesday!” I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t think that that was a good idea, because the people who would get on the bus on January 22, expecting to go to the Dawson Mall, might not be happy to wind up at the Henderson Mall. And a lot of people don’t like the Henderson Mall. And if the driver wound up driving to the Henderson Mall on January 29, people expecting to go to the Sturgis Mall would not be happy, because, as I said, a lot of people don’t like the Henderson Mall.

    Afterwards, I told Diane, the dispatcher, that we had been taken to the wrong mall, and that the driver had announced that we would go to the Henderson Mall the following week, and I wasn’t sure that that would work out. Diane told me to let the head of the Transportation Dept. know about this.

    So I notified the head of the Transportation Dept. and asked that it be mentioned in our Sunday newsletter exactly which mall we would be going to on January 22 and 29. The newsletter said that even though there had been a mix-up on January 15, we would follow the schedule and go to the Dawson Mall on January 22 and the Sturgis Mall on January 29. The February schedule was already set, but we would go to the Henderson Mall in March. So I went to the Sturgis Mall on January 29 with my watches.

    The driver was extremely nasty to me on January 29. She claimed that I wasn’t on the list of people who had signed up to go to the mall that day. I always make a written list of the days I want a bus ride, and I get a copy from Diane after she enters my rides into the computer. I tried to show the driver my copy to prove that I had signed up for the trip, but she refused to look at my list She grudgingly let me board the bus. Afterwards, I told Diane that the driver had refused to look at my list. Diane said that the driver had been rude to me.

    On February 5, when we went to the Campbell Mall, the driver was nasty to me again, but she did acknowledge that I was on the list of people who had signed up to go to the mall. I think she is angry at me for telling Diane and the head of Transportation Department that she had taken us to the wrong mall and for telling Diane that she (the driver) had refused to look at my list. What should I have done? Should I have said nothing and pretended that we went to the correct mall? If I hadn’t said anything, and if the driver took the people to the wrong mall the following Wednesday, what would have happened? And what can I do so that the driver isn’t nasty to me any longer?

    Reply ↓
      1. Charlotte Lucas*

        Yes! As your story shows, people plan trips to different malls based on what ships there are. Also, what if someone went on a trip meaning to meet up with a friend or relative?

        Reply ↓
    2. Reba*

      “And what can I do so that the driver isn’t nasty to me any longer?”
      Probably nothing, unfortunately, but to continue to report back to her supervisor about her behavior towards you. The way she is acting is not your fault.

      Reply ↓
      1. RLC*

        My first thought is that the driver may also be exhibiting ageist behavior: 1) expecting the passengers to be quietly compliant and grateful to be transported, and 2) assuming (inappropriately!!!) that senior center residents are forgetful and won’t recall which trip they signed up for. Angry when she gets called out on her bad behavior and wrong assumptions. Nasty and ageist too, what a horrid combination of traits.
        LW is doing the right thing, keep reporting driver back to her supervisor.

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        1. Robin's sister*

          “grateful to be transported”

          It’s funny that you say that, because my cousin (who is a senior citizen living in another state and whose senior center is nowhere as good as mine is) told me that I should appreciate the fact that my senior center is so wonderful (which it is) and I should be grateful to be taken anywhere. I tried asking her how she would like it if she signed up for a bus trip to go somewhere and wound up in an entirely different place, but I couldn’t get through to her, since she doesn’t go on bus trips.

          “assuming (inappropriately!!!) that senior center residents are forgetful and won’t recall which trip they signed up for.”

          Unfortunately, that happens to be true (most of the time) in this case. Most of the people who go on bus trips to shopping malls (because they don’t drive) don’t speak or understand English at all. That is because where I live, there are a lot of young people originally from a foreign country where English is not spoken, and their parents (from that foreign country) visit them for most of the year, and the senior center allows those parents to become members.

          All of the passengers on the trip that wound up at the Sturgis Mall by mistake were these parents (who had no idea that they were at the wrong mall), with the exception of three of us – a woman originally from a different foreign country who spoke very little English, a woman originally from the USA who has some brain damage from a stroke, and me.

          What’s funny is that in December, we boarded the bus for a trip to Delicious Orchards (not a pseudonym), and some of the parents from the foreign country started screaming because they thought that we were going to Von Thun Farm (not a pseudonym). The driver tried to calm them down and asked a woman who spoke their language to explain to them that the trip was supposed to go to Delicious Orchards. The woman just stared blankly, because she didn’t understand a word the driver said. Diane came out and tried to settle things down. She wound up going into the senior center and finding someone who spoke the parents’ language (who was not even going on the trip) and persuaded her to get into the bus and explain to the parents that we were going to Delicious Orchards. I used the real names because I want to show you that they didn’t know any English. They could not tell the difference between Delicious Orchards and Von Thun Farm when they read the words on the newsletter.

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    3. fhqwhgads*

      It’s clearly not within the driver’s purview to change the schedule to cover their own mistake. You called them out, twice, so they’re holding a grudge against you basically for making them look bad. Which is another error on their part, beyond the first two. It’s not a you problem. It’s a them problem.
      You did the right thing. Continue to do so. Remain calm and polite even when it’s not reciprocated.

      Reply ↓
      1. Robin's sister*

        There was another time that this driver might have screwed up, but I couldn’t be sure, so I didn’t say anything.

        The senior center also takes us on lunch trips. In the past, the driver has come into the restaurant with us and has eaten with us. Someone always pays for her. The last time I went, instead of coming in with us, she dropped us off, saying that she would return in one hour. It took a very long time for the restaurant to set up a table accommodating 12 or 14 of us. Then we had to wait to get our menus, and it took a while for everyone to decide what to order. Then it took the waitress some time to take everyone’s order. By the time we were all served, 52 minutes of the hour were gone. So we all had to ask for boxes, and we stood on line to pay. All of us hadn’t paid by the time one hour was up, so a waitress had to go outside and tell the driver that we would be late.

        I don’t know if the driver was supposed to eat with us. If she had eaten with us, she would have seen how long everything was taking, and we wouldn’t have had to rush out of there without having eaten. But maybe she was given some errand to run and was told to drop us off and pick us up later. I just don’t know, so I didn’t complain to Diane or the head of the Transportation Dept. It was the first lunch trip under the direction of the new head of the Transportation Dept., and I didn’t know if it was a new way of doing things.

        I have not gone on any lunch trips since then, since I didn’t consider the previous trip to be a genuine lunch trip. It was more like “We’ll drive you to that restaurant, where you can get a take-out order and bring it back to the senior center, and you can either eat it at the senior center or bring it home.”

        Reply ↓
    4. Six Feldspar*

      Apart from the points that other people have raised, that’s a potential safety issue if your group isn’t where they’re expected to be. What if there’s an emergency?

      If you haven’t already, I’d also recommend you keep track of the times/dates that you had issues in case you need evidence, and it would also be handy if anyone else is having the same issues with the driver on days you’re not on the bus (unfortunately this sounds like a non-work situation of documenting an issue to take to HR…)

      Reply ↓
  10. Falling Diphthong*

    What are you watching, and would you recommend it?

    For a movie, Furiosa. This was good and satisfying–I was in the mood for someone fighting the apocalypse. Really like that the kidnappee is not just an inert box of chocolates dragged back and forth. Discovered Anya Taylor Joy was Beth in The Queen’s Gambit, causing my spouse to observe “Oh! That’s the ferocious stare.”

    Reply ↓
    1. Falling Diphthong*

      Just watched episode 4 of season 2 of Severance. I cannot say that I expected anything specific from this one, and yet was totally gobsmacked by what they threw at us. Really knocking it out of the park. I did not expect Irving B to work so thoroughly into my heart.

      I’ve caught up on Mythic Quest. Since I am invested in Brad, Dana, and Jo, and bored by Ian and Poppy, feeling pretty eh.

      Spouse was traveling so I went back and revisited Orphan Black, which really holds up. It’s just such a delight how e.g. Alison, and Sarah pretending to be Alison, are immediately different.

      Reply ↓
    2. fhqwhgads*

      Bee and Puppycat. I am obsessed. I absolutely recommend it but it’s the sort of thing where if I try to explain it I’ll ruin it.

      Reply ↓
    3. CTT*

      I really wanted to like Furiosa more than I did – I like all the people in it and loved Fury Road, but the excessive callbacks (call-forwards?) to that movie really dragged on me. I’m looking forward to the future This Had Oscar Buzz episode on it though.

      I’m trying to catch up on Oscar movies but I am just not feeling this season for the first time in a while. But I did watch The English Patient for a film club I’m in (the topic is Best Picture winners) and I’m glad I watched it and good lord 1996 Ralph Fiennes was gorgeous, but I think that Seinfeld episode about how much Elaine hated it is where I fell.

      Reply ↓
    4. Charlotte Lucas*

      I never watched Firefly the first time around, so decided to give it a whirl (love the actors and I’ve heard good things). So far, I have seen the pilot, and I was pretty unimpressed. Does it get better? It feels like a bunch of great actors were brought together to wear poorly made/designed costumes and speak stilted dialogue in a blatant ripoff of Star Wars. And Nathan Fillion is seriously miscast as a world-weary veteran. Lovable rogue, yes, but he is not the Han Solo type.

      I try to give SF pilots a bit of grace, because world-building is hard, but I am having to push myself to watch the next episode. And low budgets don’t bother me – I am old enough to remember when Doctor Who had no budget to speak of. But it did have a creative premise, excellent writing, and good acting (usually).

      Reply ↓
      1. fallingleavesofnovember*

        I would say the pilot was never one of my favourite episodes, but it’s hard to say if you’ll like it if you continue – you do get to see more and more of the characters and that’s definitely what makes the show. I’d definitely say the comedy element is the main enjoyment over the politics / war veteran element.

        Reply ↓
      2. Six Feldspar*

        We will have to agree to disagree about Nathan Fillion because I thought he was great – but generally I think pilots are not a great indicator because they’re testing the ideas and things are expected to change if the actual series gets approved. The only pilot I remember watching that really stuck the landing was Leverage, where they hit the ground running and went on from there.

        Reply ↓
    6. goddessoftransitory*

      Also, still watching My Life is Murder (love the new kitty in season 2) and season 3 of Invincible, which just dropped. That is one plot heavy show.

      Reply ↓
        1. Bike Walk Bake Books*

          Where can I watch seasons 2 and 3?? We just finished season 1 thanks to a recommendation here. Love the kitty, love Madison, love the breadbaking.

          Reply ↓
    8. Just a name*

      I just stumbled upon the Spirited tv series from 2010-11. I binged the first 3 last night and have hope for the rest. I am looking for more series that I can watch after my spouse goes to bed. I can’t believe he won’t watch the Queen’s Gambit with me but he probably thinks it has something to do with royals. He watches a lot of sci-fi without me, as I usually am either bored or disturbed by the violence.

      Reply ↓
    9. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      Just watched the first episode of The Agency with Michael Fassbender. It was free and honestly feels worth subscribing to Paramount+, at least long enough to binge through that and possibly also Star Trek: Section 31 because Michelle Yeoh.

      Really liked it. In addition to Fassbender it also has Jeffrey Wright, Richard Gere, and Jodie Turner-Smith. If you like spy thriller stuff with the spies having actual feelings this is your jam.

      Reply ↓
  11. Charlotte Lucas*

    Who are actors who you consider the embodiment of a role? As in, No Substitute Will Do.

    – David Suchet as Poirot (Branagh is an excellent actor, but he doesn’t inhabit the role like Suchet does)
    – Fry and Laurie as Jeeves and Wooster
    – Jeremy Brett and Benedict Cumberbatch are both excellent Sherlocks, but Brett has a bit of an edge in my heart
    – Peter Falk as Columbo (but I do love the homage of how Tasha Lynne plays her role in Poker Face)

    I’m sure there are more, but this is off the top of my head.

    Reply ↓
  12. Radar’s Glasses*

    Sam Neill in “Sidney Reilly, Ace of Spies”
    George Clooney in “ER” (1980s TV series)
    Essie Davis in “Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries” (Australian tv series)
    James Garner in “Maverick” (way before Mel Gibson’s version)

    Reply ↓
  13. Emma*

    If you knot, where do you find your patterns?

    I’m a brand new knitter – these past few weeks I’ve been learning to cast on, continental style, and learning to hold my yarn.

    Reply ↓
      1. Six Feldspar*

        The only problem with Ravelry is that its search engine/filtering gives me very high standards and most other websites leave me very disappointed…

        Reply ↓
    3. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      Find a local yarn shop and talk to them. The one in my town has a weekly drop-in knitting night. Every yarn shop I’ve ever been in has had a variety of knitted samples on display so if you see something you like you can talk with them about the skill level required. If you see a beautiful yarn you love (which is 100% guaranteed to happen) you can talk with them about what kinds of patterns it works best for.

      And go to your local library! Mine has knitting pattern books available to check out. Browsing them will give you ideas of skills you want to develop and you can probably find ones for beginning knitters.

      Reply ↓
  14. Anono-me*

    A while back I asked about the Le Creuset Factory to Table sale. Well a new one has been announced in San Jose (April 10-13) , which unfortunately is about as far away from me and in the USA as it can be.

    Reply ↓
    1. Almost Academic*

      Oh wow, thanks for posting this! It’s actually quite near me. I haven’t been before, but remember reading an article a while back about it and it piqued my interest. Have you been to one before?

      Reply ↓
      1. Anono-me*

        No. I love the stuff and found out about these things shortly after one was held in the nearest big city to me. I hope there is another. I hope you get to go. And if you get the gift bag ticket, that you get the perfect to you gift bag.

        Reply ↓
  15. Jackalope*

    Gaming thread! Share what you’re playing and give or request recs. As always, all games are welcome, not just video games.

    I’ve been playing Unicorn Overlord, which is an SRPG, or so I’ve been told. I’m mostly enjoying it, although I have the feeling that it will be longer than I want it to be. There’s one specific game mechanic that I hate, though, and that’s driving me crazy. Otherwise it’s been fun.

    Reply ↓
  16. BellStell*

    Spring is coming soon (northern hemisphere) so what are you planting? For those in the southern hemisphere do you live where leaves change colour on the way into autumn?

    Reply ↓
  17. Liminality*

    Remodeling!
    Putting in a deep soaker-tub!
    Complications, Frustrations, and Delays!
    Please, tell me it’s all gonna be okay!

    Have you had issues on a remodeling project? How picky/demanding am I allowed to be?
    What do you wish you had known before you started?
    Tell me your stories of chaos, please!

    Reply ↓
    1. Just a name*

      Don’t get me started. We started a project that is supposed to deliver a garage with a small addition to the house over the garage. We cannot get a building permit without an upgrade to our septic system. We had a septic test, a perc test, a requirement from the county for a licensed surveyor to generate a septic design. We started last January, got through the septic stuff up until the licensed surveyor, who we hired last August. They still haven’t submitted a plan that the county can approve. The surveyor is waiting for the county to give him advice on the required distances between different components of the system, but the county doesn’t provide advice. So we are at an impasse since mid-December. The surveyor just needs to submit a plan that the county can approve or deny, and at least we have a decision. And maybe move forward. This limbo is so annoying.
      A story of chaos and we haven’t even gotten to the part where we could be a bit picky. But up I’m going to be freaking picky. Because I will have to live with it for a very long time. And I’ll be spending a bunch of money.

      Reply ↓
    2. Bike Walk Bake Books*

      Did a big remodel that went 6 months when we thought it was going to take 3. Mostly kitchen, also updating laundry room, flooring, baseboards and trim throughout the house, involved taking out internal walls and adding a new beam to deal with the load-bearing needs.

      My take now that we’ve been back in the house for a year: Every point where we said “yes, let’s spend that little bit of extra and make it the way we really want it” makes me so happy now. The bits of money we would have saved wouldn’t have been worth living with things built into the house that we didn’t want. I’d be looking at them now knowing that I could have fixed them and I didn’t.

      I’m thinking of the saying about how the bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of low price. That applies to remodels, too, if you’re able to make the money work.

      Things we couldn’t control: People getting sick. Someone going into the hospital–not someone who worked on our job, but the partner of our project manager who then had multiple complications so our PM had to pay attention to that. Of course we supported that–and it knocked a big hole in the schedule. Electrical contractor basically disappearing on all of us; finally my husband went to their office and knocked on the door of a place that appeared to be closed but yes, they were there, just not answering any emails or phone calls. One wrong cabinet being shipped, having to wait for the reorder and one individual cabinet piece is a lot less interesting to a manufacturer than an entire kitchen and laundry room full of cabinets. Why it was wrong: Cabinet maker rep didn’t tell us that when we used the exact word that the manufacturer used to describe a particular setup, he was going to describe it as something else in the order and we didn’t see that piece of paper before it went in.

      All of which is to say, we love the final product and we can forget about the painful parts and just enjoy the new house we created by doing the remodel. Hang in there!

      Reply ↓
      1. Bike Walk Bake Books*

        On how picky can you be: Absolutely do not sign off that you’re satisfied and write the final check until you’ve reviewed everything they were supposed to do. It helps if you can do that as you go along: Identify an issue while they’re right there and can fix it right away. Do a walk-through and examine absolutely everything. Did they ding walls during installation? Needs to be repaired and repainted. Something isn’t square that’s supposed to be? They make it square. You don’t have to accept substandard work.

        Reply ↓

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